StilmaVsBorn2w:

I informed them for the burial arrangements not for marriage ceremony

You are not serious. I think you are the stubborn type. You don't want to say where this is happening yet you want our advice.

Well, the elder brother has told you all you need to hear. Goan pay her bride price to retain ur son and live in peace.. otherwise, not only they will take the boy, ur life is even in danger! Look at it this way, they are right to accuse you of killing their daughter and they'll hunt you.

Look for a black goat while there's still daylight.

If you like, keep wallowing in stubbornness.

StilmaVsBorn2w:

that death when dey sweet you call so, you go use your tongue lick ground

I told you what i heard in the spirit. Do not worry, your fall is already in process

StilmaVsBorn2w:
Back then when my mom was warning me not to go that far when our relationship started She kept on insisting I should go for the girls in my tribe, I thought she was just been a tribalist bigot. If only I had listened

She bore me a son, he's 3years now... though her people knows me well from normal visitation..but I haven't been able to pay her bride price yet due to the hardship this regime has on us. life happened, unfortunately she got sick since February, ever since then from one hospital to another..I took several loans from people for hospital bills to the point of me looking sick myself.so sad for us we lost her last night.

I informed her elder brother who knows about all thats happening, he called me back this morning to tell me that his people told me to be prepared to marry her corpse. He went further and said if I don't pay her bride price, my boy will be taken from me and I should be ready to withstand the consequences.
I was surprised, I called for the burial arrangements not for a marriage ceremony

I blantly told him, I won't, why would I get married to her corpse. He was angry and cut the call on me.

Am more concerned about my son, please lawyer's in the house do they have any right to take my son away from me?
Even if they do am ready to give it to them, but spending money to Marry her corpse I will not.

I only brought this here, if had chance for my son whose still in my custody.

Let me make it clear, I am not a lawyer but I know that there is no tradition in Nigeria that supersede the Nigerian constitution and there is nowhere in the Nigerian constitution also that allows any citizen to marry the dead. As for your child, the court will order a DNA test if the child is yours the court will do the needful unless you are (an irresponsible human being) otherwise no court of competent jurisdiction will deny you your child when the mother is no more So go and get a lawyer.

StilmaVsBorn2w:

I informed them for the burial arrangements not for marriage ceremony

You have problem, but you don't know. You are telling them what to do. Not what they want you to do. Wallahi if I was amongst the family you would have been in police cell now

OkuFaba:
in my culture, any child born out of wedlock belongs to the girls father unless the man responsible comes to pay her dowry only then can he come out and claim the child

In most tribes it works that way. No matter how little it's important traditional rites are done even if you don't have the finance for a white wedding.

Jeon:

woo, so Yoruba engage in the rites . I have no idea about that..

yes, that's why I said it's almost all tribes in Nigeria

NickD:

When they say marry her corpse. It's not literally marrying. What it means is paying her Dowry which you ought to have done while she was alive and even before getting her pregnant. You have no claims on the son until you do the needful. Everything is not gragra.

Depends on the mindset of the girls people. If it's just to pay bride price to honour the girls and everybody goes their separate ways fine.

Some will try to hold you after paying that you are their inlaw and be making financial demands and wanting to come stay in your house etc. If they have that mindset, no pay o. Cos na problem be that.

jokinexcel:
Something like happened in my community, the family of the girl asked the guy to come and pay the bride price he refused, so the girl's family changed the case to kidnap and murder case , that they have been looking for their daughter for years , only for the guy who they claimed that they have never seen or know to inform them of their daughter's death . So they claimed that the guy kidnap and murder their daughter.

So how did it finally end?

NickD:

In most tribes it works that way. No matter how little it's important traditional rites are done even if you don't have the finance for a white wedding.

white wedding is the white man's culture.
The African traditional wedding rights is more important than the white church wedding

This is not so in my tribe. Iam so scaredof what I am reading here. I once nursed this thought coz I loved this babe and I have vowed never to marry from my side but..the said girlfriend has been exhibitiing traits of an Emere. She fainted twice at my place even though she wasn't sick. My eyes has opened to reality more by this revelation of OP. She's from that water tribe.

OP you should have yielded to your mother's warning at first. My mom too warned me.. I thank God I heeded.

But come o... Does cultural beliefs supersedes the constitution.

Don't mind the liar...it doesn't happen.

Jeon:


woo, so Yoruba engage in the rites . I have no idea about that..

StilmaVsBorn2w:

You here for the tribe only?
Or to give me reasonable advise?

You are very stupid

StilmaVsBorn2w:

Sorry it's not necessary, I won't let you lots to turn this to a tribal war.

You are dumb

ledaman:
Brutal honesty. He is a vagabond

No mind am. The series of advice he go collect here will lead him no where.

4ckyou:


yes, that's why I said it's almost all tribes in Nigeria

Which Yoruba. I have not heard that before nor seen one. Not in my tribe.

sylve11:


See finishing...

Be go collect wotowoto advice for nairaland.

Berankis:

He is just one stubborn and unfortunate fellow.

Exactly

emperor863:


You ought to know na. Which tribe would hold fast to such primitive and senseless culture?

The cannibals, you say?

Well, you're dammed right, I say.

Yeah..
Coming from a man whose daughters jump from one man to another..
You dash your daughters out to live and produce children with multiple men,without being married..
No wonder it is strange to you..

StilmaVsBorn2w:

Why would I carry it to the village..?
It's already in the morgue, for her people arrival, it's their daughter.
Have done my most vital parts borrowing money to save her now am in debts, if you want me to marry her corpse because am scared. My brother your wrong.

You are very wicked person with the way you respond. Somebody's daughter died and you feel no remorse about the families state nau but running your mouth like tap water � there

Your mama advised you then but you said No.

Nairalanders dey advise you now but you still remain adamant saying No.

Guess what, i can predit your future but i wont tell you now cos you still wont believe nor heed my advice.

Wait till the future to experience it all since you no wan learn from other.

Dog whe go loss no go ever hear the hunter's whistle.

michresakidjo:
This is not so in my tribe. Iam so scaredof what I am reading here. I once nursed this thought coz I loved this babe and I have vowed never to marry from my side but..the said girlfriend has been exhibitiing traits of an Emere. She fainted twice at my place even though she wasn't sick. My eyes has opened to reality more by this revelation of OP. She's from that water tribe.

OP you should have yielded to your mother's warning at first. My mom too warned me.. I thank God I heeded.

But come o... Does cultural beliefs supersedes the constitution.

So your Tribe supports cohabitation with a woman and having children without being married?
He didn't marry the said woman..
She was fulfilling all the duties of a wife for free?
And she died in his custody..
Now he wants to return her Corpse to them?
And yet you actually wants to turn around and blame the woman's people for their stance?

Felimax:
You just can't run away from it. Don't be a fool.

So the beautiful late woman who bore you a son does not deserve to be honoured as your wife and you have kept her till death?

Go and do the needful, respect that young woman.
We always tell people to be very careful. Why should a woman stay with you when you know you have not married her? Why

Can't she come spend some time and go back? Must you keep her like your sex slave? If I format your brain with punchslap, you will go and do the needful.

Some of you are mad. What of the girl that agreed to stay? Was she kidnapped?
Who knows maybe she even intentionally got pregnant to trap the guy. There is a difference between performing some traditional rites because of the boy and outright marrying someone that is already dead. Na you and your brothers go marry corpse, nonsense.

I know op deceased woman is a yamlegger,useless apku munching gorillas with barbaric cultures.

Spit on their flatheadss.

Eya Pele OP, though I personally don't subscribe to all these payment of bride price for a dead person it's against everything I stand for and believe in but if you had done the proper thing from the start all this wouldn't have happened.

Shey you too didn't know the culture of the people you were dating their daughter.

Just know that some of these village people can go any length just to get at you, not a joke oo.

Slynation:

No court can help you in this case...Even the court of law believe in customary laws and they will refer you back to it...In as much as you don't wanna divulge the tribe I already know and most tribes share almost the same ideology in matters like this, but if you want to claim ownership of your son, you just have to do the needful or your son will be taken away from you and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it....!!

A child bore out of wedlock in that tribe automatically becomes the child of the girls family and will bear her surname instead of yours unless you performs her marriage right...!!

It's not by coming here to form gra-gra, unless you follow due process, your son will be taken away from you and there is nothing you can do about it...!!

A wise man once told me "Pikin wey say e wan first e papa get bear-bear, na bald hair go kill am"

But he said he doesn't mind them keeping the child... So I guess he has no problems then

Abeg tell us ur tribe & mention her tribe so other men go learn from your mistake. You have to marry her first and then move on. I m suspecting one of this yeast states sha. But if he doesn’t mention.m the state , please all elders should ignore him.

StilmaVsBorn2w:
Back then when my mom was warning me not to go that far when our relationship started She kept on insisting I should go for the girls in my tribe, I thought she was just been a tribalist bigot. If only I had listened

She bore me a son, he's 3years now... though her people knows me well from normal visitation..but I haven't been able to pay her bride price yet due to the hardship this regime has on us. life happened, unfortunately she got sick since February, ever since then from one hospital to another..I took several loans from people for hospital bills to the point of me looking sick myself.so sad for us we lost her last night.

I informed her elder brother who knows about all thats happening, he called me back this morning to tell me that his people told me to be prepared to marry her corpse. He went further and said if I don't pay her bride price, my boy will be taken from me and I should be ready to withstand the consequences.
I was surprised, I called for the burial arrangements not for a marriage ceremony

I blantly told him, I won't, why would I get married to her corpse. He was angry and cut the call on me.

Am more concerned about my son, please lawyer's in the house do they have any right to take my son away from me?
Even if they do am ready to give it to them, but spending money to Marry her corpse I will not.

I only brought this here, if had chance for my son whose still in my custody.

donbenie:
Yeah..
Coming from a man whose daughters jump from one man to another..
You dash your daughters out to live and produce children with multiple men,without being married..
No wonder it is strange to you..

Thankiu.

StilmaVsBorn2w:

Let them bring it on.
I said I won't, I can't marry a corpse

It's not marriage, like the way we do weddings, just some traditional rites. Forget about forming Woke and just do it, it wont cost you much.

StilmaVsBorn2w:
Back then when my mom was warning me not to go that far when our relationship started She kept on insisting I should go for the girls in my tribe, I thought she was just been a tribalist bigot. If only I had listened

She bore me a son, he's 3years now... though her people knows me well from normal visitation..but I haven't been able to pay her bride price yet due to the hardship this regime has on us. life happened, unfortunately she got sick since February, ever since then from one hospital to another..I took several loans from people for hospital bills to the point of me looking sick myself.so sad for us we lost her last night.

I informed her elder brother who knows about all thats happening, he called me back this morning to tell me that his people told me to be prepared to marry her corpse. He went further and said if I don't pay her bride price, my boy will be taken from me and I should be ready to withstand the consequences.
I was surprised, I called for the burial arrangements not for a marriage ceremony

I blantly told him, I won't, why would I get married to her corpse. He was angry and cut the call on me.

Am more concerned about my son, please lawyer's in the house do they have any right to take my son away from me?
Even if they do am ready to give it to them, but spending money to Marry her corpse I will not.

I only brought this here, if had chance for my son whose still in my custody.

You killed someone's sister and you're saying the family should go to the mortuary to collect her corpse for burial. You never jam wahala before. E get the people e go be, buy now your life would have been on the line.

Well , I’m back again.. the only reason why they will prejor em for now is because he is not wealthy yet sha. In Nigeria only a wealthy man can bend the law at anytime. Since u do not have money to throw around just go & marry the corpse & move on.

unmask:
But he said he doesn't mind them keeping the child... So I guess he has no problems then

donbenie:
So your Tribe supports cohabitation with a woman and having children without being married?
He didn't marry the said woman..
She was fulfilling all the duties of a wife for free?
And she died in his custody..
Now he wants to return her Corpse to them?
And yet you actually wants to turn around and blame the woman's people for their stance?

Cohabitation is not culturally allowed but in case of a scenario like this... No dowry payment. Not at all. Let alone marrying her dead body. What matter is the child the woman left behind.

Payment of dowry and marrying of dead body is a pure rituals. The latter part though. This s subhuman cultural beliefs should be binned.

Mentally unstable people all over the place ill-advising the man to agree to marry the corpse!
Why would the living get married to the dead? Why?!
What has happened has happened, but telling a man who is grieving to marry the corpse is the most wicked and insensitive thing to do.

Dude, try to negotiate with them to find a solution or alternative to marrying the corpse, but if they don't see things your way, then stand your ground.
Take your son and move to a place where it would be hard for them to physically harm you and your son, leave the spiritual side to God. Pray and fast and get closer to God.