pappilo:
Bro whatever you do, do not, I repeat, do not get married! You will always regret it. I love my late dad, he was the best dad anyone could ask for but if I see him in the afterlife, I will ask him why he never told me the truth about marriage and advise me no to get married.

Love someone (with sense), have children, live together but never ever sign your life away. Finally do not let any woman you are with know everything about you.

The first thing that deteriorates after marriage is your sex life. I think its a psychological thing. Maybe the subconscious feeling that you've both got each other for 'life' messes with the brain.

I was married for 14 years. My ex-wife started a relationship with a work colleague and a month after using the police to kick me out of my house, the dude left his own family and moved into my house.

I was charged with several offences for an altercation I had with the guy when I caught him in my house. My ex-wife (we were still married at the time) the mother of my children came to the crown court to testify against me on his behalf. The jury saw through their lies and determination to send me to prison and acquited me on all charges (over 5)

Its been a few years but I still shudder at the thought that I believed so much in this woman and chose her over my own siblings.

Attached is msg I got from her this morning. This is despite her taking the house which I put
down 66% of the deposit. This woman earns almost double what I earn and I pay her over a quarter of my net earnings for child maintenance.

You'll probably still go ahead and get married but its almost guaranteed that one day in the future you will look back and wish you heeded the advice of many people who told you not to

You carry woman abroad yet you no sign prenup before marriage.Shon whine mi ni?

LoL.. There is zero benefit, I repeat zero benefit. Marriage is an overated venture and frankly, a waste of resources.

Gatekeepers:
For the fact that you listed all these points And you still think and talk about marriage, it then means you are seeking for who will advice you against the right thing to do.

Irrespective of wrong advices you will read from this Nairaland, be reminded that God your creator sees marriage as good. He said it's not good that a man should be alone. If God said singleness is not good, and he made it good by providing Eve to Adam as a wife. Are you the one that will now say marriage is not good?

If you find your real wife/husband all these complains you listed will disappear.

Was it not the same Eve that contributed greatly to the fall of man? What are you saying oga?

peggywebbs:
The responses here is enough reason why divorce is rampant in our generation. How can someone start a topic, what is the benefit of marriage?

For one thing marriage is not meant to have any benefit, people shouldn't get married because they want to get something from the union. Women are not baby making machines either and men shouldn't feel obligated to get married.

However, marriage is one of the oldest institutions in the world. People were meant to marry for love, in fact people eloped to have secret marriages when the odds were against them.

If you're marrying because you want something out of it, you will be disappointed and you will leave your wife. If you stay, it would just be like sharing a house. When you decide that you want to marry, it means every part of you wants to be with that person, you don't want to share them with another. You're laying a claim on your love and letting everyone know that you chose that person. Well that's for genuine love.

But if you set out on a mission to find a life partner, well that's like every business contract. It will end, you will lose interest, you won't find its value because it didn't happen naturally. You decided okay I'm looking for a girl, I'm checking out her properties, can I wife her? All that is a project, what do you expect like any other business arrangement? You expect her to give you kids, care for your home cook and do the tumble.

No genuine love, nothing. Some people even marry for status. Some for the gram.. every minute a picture for the perfect family. Well that's a benefit for them. If you're marrying for anything other than love, im sorry you're in for a rough start.

That love ship set sail a long time ago

pappilo:


I have no reason to lie. I am not claiming to be a saint and after peservering for a few years after our sex ife dried up, I looked outside and didnt look back. i was determined to stay in the marriage even though it was dead for the salke of the children (dumb move). She was a good woman for many many years so a good partner can go rogue.

I can understand people can stop loving each other but I can never get over the thought of a woman i had been with for 22 years (dated for 9 years - we were teenagers when we started) had no qualms about sending me to prison for her new flame.

Those were were the worst 2 years of my life. No home, had to move into shared accomodation, something I had never done in all my life in the abroad , had to sell my car and, took on so much debt to pay almost £20,000 in solicitor/barrister fees, took a second job doing 12 hours night shift in a factory. All this was going on with the prospect of prison time and a criminal record.

Those were really dark days and I contemplated suicide. The ironic thing is, it was a woman who helped me through those very dark times. i honestly believe if that woman wasnt in my life in that period, I wouldnt be here today.

I know this is a bit off topic. I am sorry but this is like therapy for me..

But are you sure you didn't commit any crime like assault on her or the guy?
Cos prison just like that??

Oga, go and mark my words, you will regret not getting married earlier trust me. At least having your children earlier in life. I've seen dozens of men who wished they had started on time. Notice that the economy is getting worse by the day. It won't get better. Find a supportive lady who cares about raising a family with you. This yanga you making now and spilling your finite seed in so many women will certainly backfire in ways you won't ever realize, except find awareness and do the needful. I wish you all the best.

Nazgul:
Marriage became useless to men because we abandoned our culture and tradition and embraced that of the Western world.

When you start sleeping with girls from the age of 16 and have a body count of close to 50 girls by the time you're 30, what usefulness do you expect to get from marriage? Truth is even you the man wouldn't value the marriage and would immediately resume your sexcapade after your honeymoon

The only way to restore decorum in African marriages is to embrace back our culture.

Pre marital sex must be seen as an abomination, those who practice it would be banished from their community.

Virginity test should be one of the requirements a girl must possess before marriage can take place, this will reduce promiscuity in girls.

A law should be passed that ràpists would earn in instant death sentence upon conviction. This would reduce promiscuity in guys cos no one would be willing to risk his life for a few minutes of pleasure.

Also there should be laws governing marriages that would make unfaithful partners risk jail term.

Once this measures can be put in place, I strongly believe that marriages would become as rosy as it was meant to be. And wouldn't be useless to both men and women.

50 girls by 30?

I passed that number before graduating.

Sex was a reason to get married in the past.

Now, you can order sex online and get it delivered home by Uber.

Marriage is a scam perpetuated by womenfolk to keep men in lifetime bondage.

Once you enter marriage, you must pay. Even if you want to leave, you still must pay.

Marriage is worse off in the US. Alimony payments alone have wrecked many men.

Avoid marriage if you can.

FuckDModz:

You will still marry a hoe

Word!

Gatekeepers:
For the fact that you listed all these points And you still think and talk about marriage, it then means you are seeking for who will advice you against the right thing to do.

Irrespective of wrong advices you will read from this Nairaland, be reminded that God your creator sees marriage as good. He said it's not good that a man should be alone. If God said singleness is not good, and he made it good by providing Eve to Adam as a wife. Are you the one that will now say marriage is not good?

If you find your real wife/husband all these complains you listed will disappear.

Things have changed now.
Is the way Eve acted towards Adam the same way women of nowadays are acting towards their husbands?

In those days,women were super submissive.But now,women are covert and overt feminists.
Adultery was punishable then,but now? It's a thing done in the open.
Back then,people were preserving their bodies and marrying as virgins but now?Even underage are having sex.

Marriage has lost it's relevance abeg!

Sweetplum:

If what I said isn't tangible then your existence isn't tangible. Cos companionship & procreation begat you. If your father didn't enjoy companionship at least procreation brought you to life.
I m coming for all you irresponsible men without logic.
If there are bad women, there are bad men too.
What we need is corrections solutions and not condemnation. You all can stay out of marriage but you can't outlaw marriage.
Now if you say lazy women. I belong to the league of Ngozi Okonjo Iweala, the Condoleeza Rice and co. I m a trained lawyer earning my dough. So.. I m not a liability.

A trained lawyer and you're always on this platform? I laugh. Which year were you called to bar?

Sweetplum:

If what I said isn't tangible then your existence isn't tangible. Cos companionship & procreation begat you. If your father didn't enjoy companionship at least procreation brought you to life.
I m coming for all you irresponsible men without logic.
If there are bad women, there are bad men too.
What we need is corrections solutions and not condemnation. You all can stay out of marriage but you can't outlaw marriage.
Now if you say lazy women. I belong to the league of Ngozi Okonjo Iweala, the Condoleeza Rice and co. I m a trained lawyer earning my dough. So.. I m not a liability.

Your league is beneath the earth crust Jare.

ExcelDBM:


Your league is beneath the earth crust Jare.

You belong to the dead. No problem.
Rest in damnation, not peace!

ExcelDBM:


A trained lawyer and you're always on this platform? I laugh. Which year were you called to bar?

Ask google

EMILO2STAY:
so your main reason for marriage is sex, if that is the case , oga you don't know what marriage is about and your still reasoning like a kid.

When a madman is told to catch the music he goes instead to catch the musical instruments.

Read my writeup again

But now slowly..

Sweetplum:

Yeah. And that's illegal. Who go arrest/question you for having sex with your wife or husband?
Who ll arrest/question you if you v child for your wife or husband?
Last Drop:
Marriage is now by choice. Don't discourage those who believed in marriage.

My uncle has 3 children for 3 different women (failed relationships).
The last time I checked,no one has ever questioned nor arrested him for that.He is over 50 years old and still counting!

Drella:


My uncle has 3 children for 3 different women (failed relationships).
The last time I checked,no one has ever questioned nor arrested him for that.He is over 50 years old and still counting!

Hope your Uncle is enjoying the dividends of having multiple baby mamas?

madridguy:
Family pressure make you spent 3 million

caged stup!d men...

Sorry to say so...

But you deserve it.

ajayiopy:


PRAY TO GOD TO PROVIDE YOU WITH WOMAN OF SUBSTANCE AND VALUE. MARRIAGE IS GOOD AND THIS IS MY 12-YEARS.

You didn't read the story on page 1 of this thread.The man who married a lady he dated for 9 years.Their marriage lasted for another 14 years.The wife had an affair with her co-worker.She almost sent the man to prison when confronted.Now the man has lost almost all he had to her under UK law.

Pray your wife doesn't go berserk.According to him "she was a good wife for many many years".

author=BabaIbo post=112574502]Marriage they say is a beautiful thing but if you ask many men out there what marriage is to them or what marriage has brought to them or will they get married if they are given chances to rewind time, their responses will be in negative form or NO.

That same step(marriage) is the next step to be taken by me but I have one unanswered question. I am a young man in my 30s, currently free from any dating relationship and about to begin my search for a life partner, but I like being cleared/well-informed about something before going into it.

Pardon me for this long note I am about to dish out and the question I will be asking at the end.

For sometimes now, people around me have been telling me I am next in line to get married, some telling me to ensure I bring a responsible lady home and all that.
My mom do tell me she won't rush me to get married but as an observant person you will notice she really wants me to bring a woman(wife) home.

My dad told me sometimes ago that if I don't have a lady, that maybe they should search for a young good girl for me early next year.
My younger ones are expecting me to take that step so they can start planning on theirs and all that.

All these are for their own good or benefits, I am not saying they don't deserve it but I have been trying to get a tangible reason to get married i.e what is the SPECIAL thing(benefit) it will add to my life, I am the one getting married not them.
"Na me wan wear the shoe."

A bikeman, popularly known as Okadaman that do come to my place told me story about himself and big opportunities that marriage has made him miss.

In addition to his words and those I have heard from others, the fear of things going south, disappearance of peace of mind and all that are other factors.

Presumed(anticipated) benefits which are not as they are expected to be again are)

CHILDREN: Children can be gotten without marriage, for example: C. Ronaldo, Mikel, and others did that and they are doing well.

GOOD MEALS: Foods can be gotten from outside or prepared by the man or any other person that is not a wife for the man. Moreover, how many of them can cook well like our mothers? I'm a better cook than most ladies I have come across.

COMPANIONSHIP: That is an overstatement in our present society. It is even more noticeable in dating relationship than in some marriages these days.

SEX: That is the cheapest service/thing to get after air and water(clean water is even more expensive). Moreover many marriages are lacking sexually. It is worse if the man has high sex drive aka high libido.

SUPPORT: I don't want to go there because it is an open fact that instead of getting support, the man is being leached/milked of the one he has.

HOME: I can still remember how some married men will pack their cars at the junction, stay inside their cars for long before driving home, some go to the bar/relaxation centers to chill before going home, some don even like going home. You all know why?

With all these in mind, I want to ask this question that has been bothering me because I need to sort it before taking the step...

Now, my question is "WHAT IS THE BENEFIT OF MARRIAGE TO A MAN IN THIS OUR TIME?"

PS: I used this image because what marriage did to the man in the picture is in the open[/quote]

A set up to create more responsibilities for u and limit a man's growth.

It is a necessary evil expected of every man

Sweetplum:

Hope your Uncle is enjoying the dividends of having multiple baby mamas?

That's not what you were talking about initially.

Drella:


That's not what you were talking about initially.

What I m talking about is marriage is good.
If you don't fancy it, waka pass.

Sweetplum:
You belong to the dead. No problem.
Rest in damnation, not peace!

Lol, get away Jare. Awon trained lawyer Lori iro o

Sweetplum:

Ask google

You are a liar and to be avoided like a plague at all cost.

We spent much time before we get a license to drive and that's why our cars last longer than some of the marriages around us. Already you have a wrong mentality about marriage, you don't know why you should get married and your best place to ask is nairaland. This is wonderful! Do you know why you spent about 10yrs or more before you get out of high school? Have you ever wondered why you have to study up to 4yrs or more in university in order to prepare yourself for a job? Marriage is the oldest institution on earth and as such it requires information and understanding to build a successful one. Most of the people you see around you dived into marriage without proper information and understanding about their partners and that's why you see the divorce paper on every table today. The benefits of marriage is limitless. The promised blessings for those who diligently follow the guidelines are enormous. That's where the phrase " he who Finds a wife has found a good thing and obtained favor from the lord" come from. You can't find favor when you bring in a girl of whom you know nothing about , deceived by her physical looks and claiming you love her and bla BLA BLA....love and sex does not bring about a successful marriage. Some of you think love is the key and sex was the super glue. Information and understanding is the key. Do this and you will be happy you got married.

Sweetplum:
Companionship & Procreation.
Go n read Genesis to know more.
To all who are quoting me. Marriage isn't by force. Don't discourage those who value it.
I wonder how you all train those kids you had anyhow via baby mamas or surrogacy.
What's the value you instill in them. One of. Thee things destroying the world of today is lack of value. And its first gotten from homes.
So who are you all fooling?
I m coming with full force!
Last Drop:

Either you all cooperate jejely or stay out of marriage.
I now found out most people here in support of the op are atheists & men running away from responsibilities.
All of you no get life. Especially those atheists. I dey watch you, Una dey watch me. We dey here. Una go see weeen!

You attached sentiment to comment as much as it could be meaningful. 1, not all children born out of marriage are good... 2, Marriage is not the only definition of responsibility or only time u can be responsible.

ExcelDBM:


You are a liar and to be avoided like a plague at all cost.

Then avoid me.
Can't I use social media cos of my profession?

Sweetplum:

What I m talking about is marriage is good.
If you don't fancy it, waka pass.

On Nairaland,men complain about their marriages or not wanting to marry more than women.This should tell you that women benefit more from marriage than men.

Countless women go from religious leaders to religious leaders just to pray to get a husband.
But I hardly see men running around just to see a wife.

You are lucky you are a woman.

Peace out!

Chiedygirl:
Some of your points here are invalid

I'm an advocate of marriage, as long as it's devoid of societal pressure

* bringing back our culture will only bring about the old master-slave relationship kind of marriage that used to exist then.

* virginity test is trash, the presence of the hymen in the female genetalia has always been an indicator of virginity in women, coupled with the dinosaur mentality that a woman must bleed during her first sexual encounter. These are very wrong, bec
ause, it's very obvious that our current generation indulge in lots of sexual activities, while still identifying as Virgins, a lot of them indulge in anal s*x, oral s*x, lesbian s*x and a host of other kinds of sexual activities. And you feel a virginity test will be able to detect such lifestyle. Meanwhile, a lady who doesn't bleed on her first s*x encounter is labelled a LovePeddler right? So how does virginity test determine one marriage is going to be successful.

From your deductions you're of the belief that a happy marriage stems from being chaste, you're focusing on just one aspect of the foundations of a successful marriage, and creating a lack of balance. Both couples can be chaste but lack; Emotional maturity, mental maturity, spiritual maturity, financial maturity, etc to cope with the challenges that every marriage must face, these are equally important virtues one most posses before settling down with a partner, alongside sexual self control and discipline.

Sexual chastity alone doesn't guarantee an iota of success in your marriage. Both parties should have developed themselves in the fundamental areas of life before marriage should even be considered.

A non virgin has spoken...
You are Intimidated..

@ Op, there is no benefit for a man in marriage in this our generation. If i could turn back the ends of time, i would just have 2 to 3 kids with baby mamas and live my life to the fullest. Believe me, these days girls have nothing to offer. Your life would just be miserable after few years of marriage. I am talking from experience. If you want to live long and have peace of mind, just avoid bringing a lady into your home. Forget what your parents would say. Our fathers lived long because of the way our mothers lived peacefully with them.

HaneefahRN:
I don't know why some boys will keep crying about benefits of marriage to men. If e no get benefit for you, stay single and shut up.
Las las when we look at it well, men benefit more from marriage than women. Just that the society has wired our women to see marriage as do or die and make men think they are doing a woman a favor by marrying her. Rubbish.

How do men benefit more In marriage ?

Drella:


On Nairaland,men complain about their marriages or not wanting to marry more than women.This should tell you that women benefit more from marriage than men.

Countless women go from religious leaders to religious leaders just to pray to get a husband.
But I hardly see men running around just to see a wife.

You are lucky you are a woman.

Peace out!

If I m a man, I ll do well in my marriage.
What I m for is to help those men to enjoy their marriage and not just come here to condemn without solutions. That's what they v been doing.
They are giving those contemplating on divorce or those that v divorced or those that v nothing good to do with marriage to take bad thoughts.
I won't take that.
There are bad women. I m here to say there are also good women who ll make home work.