I know some people will curse, call you simp, call you all sort of names, i dont care but i just hope the sensible married people with experience will drop their own
opinion and knowledge of this kind of ish. So the issue of food has been creating issues with myself and my wife, she takes her hustle more as a priority than taking care
of us in the house. Some people would think by saying that, she's probably the bread winner, not at all, as it should, i provide at least 82% of the family needs.
Sometimes 3 weeks ago after getting into a heated argument about quickly leaving the house to tejuosho market without making food, we sat down and agreed to some terms
which will avoid issues, she said she will only go to the market on monday and wednesdays only. Everything was smooth until the following saturday i had gone out to pick up vet to come
tend to my dog, she called and said she wants to quickly go to the market, that what is it that i want to eat so she could make it down b4 she dashes out, first off i wasnt happy, because i thought i wanted her all to me
the weekend, but now shes dashing out to the market when saturday isnt part of the day we planned. I told her to wait for me that I will drive her down, she waited even though she complained bitterly as if she was missing
an appointment, but its just clothing material she wanted to buy, i got back home drove her there and brought her back.

Fastforward again to the next weekend, i had driven out, she called me and as were talking, I asked where she was, she said she was driving to her shop to pick up something and head back home, i said no p,40mins later when I got home
didnt see her, I called her and lo and behold she was in the market, I was like what happened to the agreement we had, she said well if she told me she was going i probably would not allow her bla bla bla. She came home and I sat her down
that in order to maintain peace in a home, communcation is key, yes we communicated and had an agreement, but peace wont be maintained when one party isnt fulfilling his or her own part of the agreement, I told her that i want peace, so therefore I ban her from the saturday
market, she can pick any dat during the work days to replace the saturday outing, she change am, shout, raged and said all sorts of things, i nor kukuma answer her, went out that got back later laying on the bed sad and agonized, i was now
dumbfounded that what could be this important and serious about this saturday market thing, am lost and cant figure it out, ladies and guy whats ur thought on this?

I'm waiting for the elderly ones.

You don marry your boss

These are the standards you ought to have set before marriage now you are complaining when the result is yielding out


Carry your cross and wahala cos right now e be like say every single man get peace of mind

You're too rigid Oga. It's not by rules and regulations. C'mon. If y'all are properly organized, she can even go to the market everyday. Plus it's not like she spends the whole day there.

See you saying "you want her all for yourself for the weekend", nawa oh! You just want to sit and be looking at her for the whole weekend or what? Abi na knack you wan use injure her?

If she doesn't hustle now, you'll be the first person to come to Nairaland and be shouting "what do women offer".

I've seen couples that despite both of them working 9-5 jobs, they still find a good balance for their lives. They're romantic and carry out house chores in an organized manner.

She's your wife and not your house slave. Better treat her as such. This too much nagging, shouting and quarrelling will bring a strain to your marriage instead of amending it as you think.

Weytin the worry this mumu simp...


The moment you get married, you have decided to be a simp...

Love is a sign of weakness...
Hatred is a sign of strength...



Know this and know peace!

Hmmm...


Come back in the next three market days let me consult Amadioha...
We must find out that special thing about Saturdays to her!

What's so special about the Saturday market you asked? Maybe na only Saturday her side guy or ex dey get chance.
Carry your cross oga.

Ocholu:
You're too rigid Oga. It's not by rules and regulations. C'mon. If y'all are properly organized, she can even go to the market everyday. Plus it's not like she spends the whole day there.

See you saying "you want her all for yourself for the weekend", nawa oh! You just want to sit and be looking at her for the whole weekend or what? Abi na knack you wan use injure her?
If she doesn't hustle now, you'll be the first person to come to Nairaland and be shouting "what do women offer".

I've seen couples that despite both of them working 9-5 jobs, they still find a good balance for their lives. They're romantic and carry out house chores in an organized manner.

She's your wife and not your house slave. Better treat her as such. This too much nagging, shouting and quarrelling will bring a strain to your marriage instead of amending it as you think.

Stop advising a married man how to live his marriage. If he (they) can't sacrifice, compromise and agree for mutual benefits; then he (they) is/are not fit for marriage.
He has married Elders in their families, he can seek advice there.

Besides, you have not heard his wife's side of the story so don't make it look as if it is his sole responsibility to make things work.
He cannot be unhappy himself while trying to make his marriage a peaceful one. It doesn't work like that.

And if you should come for my head, I will not be available to reply you.

All the things you are complaining will never change ,anyhow you like communicate,they still won't change.
You've already married her so you just have to make peace with some of this problems.
As for younger single men,this is what I have to tell you.
-Avoid marrying someone in the same age range as you,else things like this will befall you.
You don't expect someone who have lived for so long independently to change and start abiding to you all of a sudden.
-Please ,if you succeed to make good money in your prime,do not marry any woman that has any sort of job whatsoever. Most times these women feel too independent and always feel like they should prove to you they make money too and should be worshipped or something,in which most times that thing they claim to make in that their useless job,you can easily spend on a cool weekend.
Don't ask me how I know,I've experienced a lot of things.
I am seriously scouting for a very young,out of college girl to marry and have peace,if she must work,I have a lot of room for her in my business.
Me and all these so called independent Nigeria women no get any business again !Make them go find who them go do that their nonsense with.
If you want to be an 'independent' woman,please don't marry so you can have all the independence you want and not go and kill somebody's child.
Peace.

I am happy that there is communication in your marriage, and as you said the both of you agreed to certain terms and conditions concerning her going to the market. I do have questions for you, do you have children, if yes who takes care of them when she goes to the market in Saturday? You have made a demand as the head of the family which she is to abide by despite her initial reaction towards it. If it is possible for you to visit that market of hers without her knowing so as to find out what exactly is going on there that is really making her go back every Saturday.

Nyascobar1414:
Weytin the worry this mumu simp...


The moment you get married, you have decided to be a simp...

Love is a sign of weakness...
Hatred is a sign of strength...



Know this and know peace!

I disagree with you.

PerfectStranger:
What's so special about the Saturday market you asked? Maybe na only Saturday her side guy or ex dey get chance.
Carry your cross oga.

After stating almost the obvious, you come sey make i carry my cross, yes na me go carry my cross before na. I didnt ask you to assist me.

boxer022:
I am happy that there is communication in your marriage, and as you said the both of you agreed to certain terms and conditions concerning her going to the market. I do have questions for you, do you have children, if yes who takes care of them when she goes to the market in Saturday? You have made a demand as the head of the family which she is to abide by despite her initial reaction towards it. If it is possible for you to visit that market of hers without her knowing so as to find out what exactly is going on there that is really making her go back every Saturday.

This is the major question, we no longer have an house help, but a relative is staying with us though she works so she has little time to fill the gap for her in which she goes to work on saturdays too. My brother in law who is her younger brother also stay with us he is working class too but doesnt go to work on saturdays, so he stays with them. The problem here is, after agreeing on certain things, she turns around to do the opposite, as a self employed person, i work from Monday to friday, but few hours on saturday, i rarely get to spend time with her during week days because i get home at night, all i wanted is to at least get her to be fully around me on saturday/sunday its not too bad to ask for, because during the week days (5days) I can say categorically that I dont eat more than 3 times of her meal, so she dont stress at all, so if weekend are days she can have time for me, Its not bad at all, to even say that the previous saturday she dashed out without my notice, she was suppose to take oir daughter to the hospital based on an emergency issue, she left her and that made me to start thinking maybe there is more to the saturday market that i am not noticing.

Its very hard to trace her in the tejuoso market, most times sef network is very bad when i try to call her there, the market is rigid and there is no way in this world that I can make that happen. All I could do was to ban her, whatever she can get on saturdays, she can always get during the weekday, her excuse however is that sometimes materials they are using to sow for her isnt enough so she has to go, i said send your PA who you usually send there to help u get it, she said the lady is too lazy and sluggish bla bla bla

Welcome to nairaland where you will be told your wife is cheating, your marriage will take a different turn after this thread.

amenn500:


This is the major question, we no longer have an house help, but a relative is staying with us though she works so she has little time to fill the gap for her in which she goes to work on saturdays too. My brother in law who is her younger brother also stay with us he is working class too but doesnt go to work on saturdays, so he stays with them. The problem here is, after agreeing on certain things, she turns around to do the opposite, as a self employed person, i work from Monday to friday, but few hours on saturday, i rarely get to spend time with her during week days because i get home at night, all i wanted is to at least get her to be fully around me on saturday/sunday its not too bad to ask for, because during the week days (5days) I can say categorically that I dont eat more than 3 times of her meal, so she dont stress at all, so if weekend are days she can have time for me, Its not bad at all, to even say that the previous saturday she dashed out without my notice, she was suppose to take oir daughter to the hospital based on an emergency issue, she left her and that made me to start thinking maybe there is more to the saturday market that i am not noticing.

Its very hard to trace her in the tejuoso market, most times sef network is very bad when i try to call her there, the market is rigid and there is no way in this world that I can make that happen. All I could do was to ban her, whatever she can get on saturdays, she can always get during the weekday, her excuse however is that sometimes materials they are using to sow for her isnt enough so she has to go, i said send your PA who you usually send there to help u get it, she said the lady is too lazy and sluggish bla bla bla

I understand you perfectly, that is why I advised that you visit that market she goes on Saturday so as to know exactly what is always making her to go there. If is possible, if her friends around will notice your car and inform her, park it not too close to the market, make sure you disguise yourself so that even if they might see you they may not be sure it's you till you get to where she is before exposing yourself so as to achieve your goal.

amenn500:
I know some people will curse, call you simp, call you all sort of names, i dont care but i just hope the sensible married people with experience will drop their own
opinion and knowledge of this kind of ish. So the issue of food has been creating issues with myself and my wife, she takes her hustle more as a priority than taking care
of us in the house. Some people would think by saying that, she's probably the bread winner, not at all, as it should, i provide at least 82% of the family needs.
Sometimes 3 weeks ago after getting into a heated argument about quickly leaving the house to tejuosho market without making food, we sat down and agreed to some terms
which will avoid issues, she said she will only go to the market on monday and wednesdays only. Everything was smooth until the following saturday i had gone out to pick up vet to come
tend to my dog, she called and said she wants to quickly go to the market, that what is it that i want to eat so she could make it down b4 she dashes out, first off i wasnt happy, because i thought i wanted her all to me
the weekend, but now shes dashing out to the market when saturday isnt part of the day we planned. I told her to wait for me that I will drive her down, she waited even though she complained bitterly as if she was missing
an appointment, but its just clothing material she wanted to buy, i got back home drove her there and brought her back.

Fastforward again to the next weekend, i had driven out, she called me and as were talking, I asked where she was, she said she was driving to her shop to pick up something and head back home, i said no p,40mins later when I got home
didnt see her, I called her and lo and behold she was in the market, I was like what happened to the agreement we had, she said well if she told me she was going i probably would not allow her bla bla bla. She came home and I sat her down
that in order to maintain peace in a home, communcation is key, yes we communicated and had an agreement, but peace wont be maintained when one party isnt fulfilling his or her own part of the agreement, I told her that i want peace, so therefore I ban her from the saturday
market, she can pick any dat during the work days to replace the saturday outing, she change am, shout, raged and said all sorts of things, i nor kukuma answer her, went out that got back later laying on the bed sad and agonized, i was now
dumbfounded that what could be this important and serious about this saturday market thing, am lost and cant figure it out, ladies and guy whats ur thought on this?

Let me get this straight, you want to commandeer a grown adult's in and out?

Yet you go in and out as you wish?

You sat 'her down' and agreed her permitted outgoings?

Of course she simply agreed to fuel your already entitled and commanding ego.

It's obvious as well that you're not able to handle the truth or someone else's view that's contrary to yours, so she's playing you as your game. As soon as the cat is out, the mouse too goes out to play.

It's a marriage not a zoo, okay! Limit the zoo antics to your dog.

boxer022:
I understand you perfectly, that is why I advised that you visit that market she goes on Saturday so as to know exactly what is always making her to go there. If is possible, if her friends around will notice your car and inform her, park it not too close to the market, make sure you disguise yourself so that even if they might see you they may not be sure it's you till you get to where she is before exposing yourself so as to achieve your goal.

In this case it has to be bumper to bumper while shes driving, cos if she gets there before me, there is no way in this world that I will be able to trace her, the market is big.

tsmith:


Let me get this straight, you want to commandeer a grown adult's in and out?

Yet you go in and out as you wish?

You sat 'her down' and agreed her permitted outgoings?

Of course she simply agreed to fuel your already entitled and commanding ego.

It's obvious as well that you're not able to handle the truth or someone else's view that's contrary to yours, so she's playing you as your game. As soon as the cat is out, the mouse too goes out to play.

It's a marriage not a zoo, okay! Limit the zoo antics to your dog.

You sound like a feminist, am the head of the house, and I take full responsibility of my familys progress, so going out is going to play or what? Everyone have their role to play, as I am playing mine, so does she. I pity whoever marries you, cos i know damn sure u arent married.

Graxie:
Welcome to nairaland where you will be told your wife is cheating, your marriage will take a different turn after this thread.

I am not dumb enough to get carried away.

amenn500:


This is the major question, we no longer have an house help, but a relative is staying with us though she works so she has little time to fill the gap for her in which she goes to work on saturdays too. My brother in law who is her younger brother also stay with us he is working class too but doesnt go to work on saturdays, so he stays with them. The problem here is, after agreeing on certain things, she turns around to do the opposite, as a self employed person, i work from Monday to friday, but few hours on saturday, i rarely get to spend time with her during week days because i get home at night, all i wanted is to at least get her to be fully around me on saturday/sunday its not too bad to ask for, because during the week days (5days) I can say categorically that I dont eat more than 3 times of her meal, so she dont stress at all, so if weekend are days she can have time for me, Its not bad at all, to even say that the previous saturday she dashed out without my notice, she was suppose to take oir daughter to the hospital based on an emergency issue, she left her and that made me to start thinking maybe there is more to the saturday market that i am not noticing.

Its very hard to trace her in the tejuoso market, most times sef network is very bad when i try to call her there, the market is rigid and there is no way in this world that I can make that happen. All I could do was to ban her, whatever she can get on saturdays, she can always get during the weekday, her excuse however is that sometimes materials they are using to sow for her isnt enough so she has to go, i said send your PA who you usually send there to help u get it, she said the lady is too lazy and sluggish bla bla bla

All these your rules are ridiculous tbh. Your wife can't be free in her own home to go out and come in at will because she is married to you. Imagine saying you will ban her are you in the 1950s. Nor be your fault na the woman I blame. So if she goes to market for 2hrs tops you will die ba. The remaining 22hrs in the day is not enough for you. You must cage her like an animal. Her own desires are secondary na only your own matter. Well done!

amenn500:


In this case it has to be bumper to bumper while shes driving, cos if she gets there before me, there is no way in this world that I will be able to trace her, the market is big.

The goal here is not letting her know that you are coming as if she does, you may not find out what you went there for. If it is possible for you, inform a friend who has a car that she can't easily identify, the purpose of your going there. In this way as soon as she moved, you follow her closely behind till you reach your destination. Try to be patient as whatever it is may not take place immediately she arrives. Give it some time and move in alone so she will not know how you got there.

amenn500:


You sound like a feminist, am the head of the house, and I take full responsibility of my familys progress, so going out is going to play or what? Everyone have their role to play, as I am playing mine, so does she. I pity whoever marries you, cos i know damn sure u arent married.

You see yourself? You've just confirmed you don't take it when other have views contrary to yours.

Pele ooh, head of zoo, aka zookeeper �

boxer022:
I am happy that there is communication in your marriage, and as you said the both of you agreed to certain terms and conditions concerning her going to the market. I do have questions for you, do you have children, if yes who takes care of them when she goes to the market in Saturday? You have made a demand as the head of the family which she is to abide by despite her initial reaction towards it. If it is possible for you to visit that market of hers without her knowing so as to find out what exactly is going on there that is really making her go back every Saturday.

There is a communication, then dictatorship. Theirs sounds like a one sided conversation, the head of zoo dictates and the animals are just expected to say yes Sir yes Sir. No arguments, no alternative suggestions and no compromise.

tsmith:


You see yourself? You've just confirmed you don't take it when other have views contrary to yours.

Pele ooh, head of zoo, aka zookeeper �

You are very annoying. I know for sure not every man or woman are marriageable. You may probably fall into that category.

Rita5:


All these your rules are ridiculous tbh. Your wife can't be free in her own home to go out and come in at will because she is married to you. Imagine saying you will ban her are you in the 1950s. Nor be your fault na the woman I blame. So if she goes to market for 2hrs tops you will die ba. The remaining 22hrs in the day is not enough for you. You must cage her like an animal. Her own desires are secondary na only your own matter. Well done!

Okay. You women are very funny. I am very sure you won't disobey your man if he command you. You obviously did not read what he said is troubling his marriage. You think men are women. Life will teach you all.

tsmith:


There is a communication, then dictatorship. Theirs sounds like a one sided conversation, the head of zoo dictates and the animals are just expected to say yes Sir yes Sir. No arguments, no alternative suggestions and no compromise.

There is communication in the union. The fact that he called her and had an agreement with her concerning her not taking care of the home adequately, and also going to the market always, shows it is a 2 way agreement. She agreed to 2 days a week and started implementing it, then suddenly added Saturdays on her own without her husband knowing knowing fully well that he will need her all weekend long. Since she took that decision on her own, the head of the family which is the man banned her from going to market on Saturday and to pick any other day of the week to replace Saturday. It shows full communication among both parties.

ayomikuolatunji:



Okay. You women are very funny. I am very sure you won't disobey your man if he command you. You obviously did not read what he said is troubling his marriage. You think men are women. Life will teach you all.

Life doesn't teach nonsense. It's if you allow nonsense that's when you will get nonsense. That's why I don't blame him na his wife dey accept am. Why will my husband command me am I his slave? If he wants me to do something he can ask. If I feel its OK I will do it. If I have reservations I will express it. Not the one I will be blindly accepting nonsense because I want to please him and in my heart having resentment. Na why his wife exploded at him like that. She's had reservations about the whole thing but didn't voice it and just accepted for peace. But its bitting her inside, and it got to a point she couldn't take it anymore. Its stuff like this that breaks a marriage. And it does it slowly, the resentment keeps on building and building.

Rita5:


Life doesn't teach nonsense. It's if you allow nonsense that's when you will get nonsense. That's why I don't blame him na his wife dey accept am. Why will my husband command me am I his slave? If he wants me to do something he can ask. If I feel its OK I will do it. If I have reservations I will express it. Not the one I will be blindly accepting nonsense because I want to please him and in my heart having resentment. Na why his wife exploded at him like that. She's had reservations about the whole thing but didn't voice it and just accepted for peace. But its bitting her inside, and it got to a point she couldn't take it anymore. Its stuff like this that breaks a marriage. And it does it slowly, the resentment keeps on building and building.

True but read what he said about his marriage and your first comment. His wife bridge agreement. You resent who you marry? Only fool will do that. Chai marriage is only sweet during pre-wedding Photoshop.

ayomikuolatunji:



True but read what he said about his marriage and your first comment. His wife bridge agreement. You resent who you marry? Only fool will do that. Chai marriage is only sweet during pre-wedding Photoshop.

Wait do you live in a fairy tale or something? Because I don't understand why you said only fool will resent who they marry. So if you are married you no longer have emotions or something? I don't understand you. Even your siblings, I am pretty sure there are stuff they did that you resented them for at the time. Heck even your parents too. Resentment is natural, it happens, the trick is to clear the air and don't let it fester. That's why you should always ensure your significant other is free with you and able to fully express their reservations about something, and you should have the emotional intelligence of not dismissing it and imposing your will but listening and actually making compromises.

amenn500:


You sound like a feminist, am the head of the house, and I take full responsibility of my familys progress, so going out is going to play or what? Everyone have their role to play, as I am playing mine, so does she. I pity whoever marries you, cos i know damn sure u arent married.

Woow.... Thats good...

Girls like you are meant for babymams ...
Keep it up..

Kiiiikiiiiikiiii.

Rita5:


All these your rules are ridiculous tbh. Your wife can't be free in her own home to go out and come in at will because she is married to you. Imagine saying you will ban her are you in the 1950s. Nor be your fault na the woman I blame. So if she goes to market for 2hrs tops you will die ba. The remaining 22hrs in the day is not enough for you. You must cage her like an animal. Her own desires are secondary na only your own matter. Well done!

Na babymama,dey suit this one...

You are still single by the way..


After kuku go cry 4 shiloh..

Kikiiikiiii