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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Go Alone Or With My Family To The Uk (1991 Views)
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Go Alone Or With My Family To The Uk by yuppyz(m): 8:11am On May 11, 2022 |
Hello Everyone, I really need your thought on this matter, especially from people who have had similar experience. I'm married with two kids, one is 2yrs old and the second is about 7mths. I was planning on relocating with my family to the UK on student Visa. I have secured admission, just to pay deposit and apply for visa. Two of my friends that are in the UK already are suggesting that my wife should come as the student while I come as the dependant so I can get open work permit. But my wife is currently a nursing mum, and non of her doc are ready. And, if she comes with me as a dependant, I don't know the possibility of her coping with work and two little kids while I'm a student with Just 20hr to work. I'm thinking of going alone first, let me see go and survey the land while my wife stay back and still be managing our business. I am very skeptical about burning all my bridges here while going to a foreign land with wife and little kids. My only concern is, I heard the UK go will not allow you to bring your family if you have less than 6 months to the end of your studies. Lastly I do not want to stay so long and faraway from my family. Kindly advise |
Re: Go Alone Or With My Family To The Uk by rickpat(m): 8:24am On May 11, 2022 |
it would have been better if your wife was the student.and you the dependent as your friends advised my advise for you is..go alone...you can't cope...even if your wife is working...a good amount will be going into the daycare for the kids or you have not thought of daycare?...and no matter what she can't work comfortably with the kids...any little thing like flu they will call her to come take the kids....and you will not be that available cus you will be combining your 20hours per week work and school....it will frustrate you having them with you...and your rent will be like a two bedroom at least...which is like 1k to 1.5k pounds a month.... Except you really have excess money to throw around....it's always better the man is the dependent...you can do blue collar jobs...and multiple jobs more easily then a woman and a nursing mother for that matter...whites don't joke with kids o...your kids must be comfortable if not the government go sanction you o second advise...since it's relocation you want...just wait and let your wife documents come out and she goes as the student or you go alone....I wish you the best from the bottom of my heart...be nice and wish me a happy birthday 4 Likes |
Re: Go Alone Or With My Family To The Uk by odinson1(m): 8:48am On May 11, 2022 |
Be very careful! The moment a Nigerian woman steps into the western world,she begins to misbehave because of the new found power she now possesses. We've all heard of cases like yours where the man takes his family abroad, the woman starts misbehaving,call the cops on him on false accounts of abuse and eventually divorces him while taking away the house and kids. The feminism for there go enter her head and she go start to dey drag shoulder with you. Una problem be say una wan learn from una own experience,but no wahala sha ![]() Just go alone for now,survey the area,make some money,get comfortable and take your family along. Best of luck! 4 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Go Alone Or With My Family To The Uk by odinson1(m): 8:56am On May 11, 2022 |
Kriss216 |
Re: Go Alone Or With My Family To The Uk by Kriss216: 9:00am On May 11, 2022 |
odinson1:Apt. Can i marry your brain? 3 Likes |
Re: Go Alone Or With My Family To The Uk by Mindlog: 9:01am On May 11, 2022 |
3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Go Alone Or With My Family To The Uk by Kriss216: 9:02am On May 11, 2022 |
Mindlog:You've been noticed. Can you now leave? 2 Likes |
Re: Go Alone Or With My Family To The Uk by Mindlog: 9:13am On May 11, 2022 |
OP, would suggest your wife be the student and consider January admission, so she can now start sorting out the needed documents. What did she study for her undergraduate level? With the 2 children, the reality is that she can't even do the statutory 20hrs because of childcare, which means you will even have to work your shift around her school timetable (days she has to attend in-person classes, you will have to stay home to look after the kids because having the children in a daycare is extremely expensive). 3 Likes |
Re: Go Alone Or With My Family To The Uk by odinson1(m): 9:42am On May 11, 2022 |
Mindlog:If advising my fellow man to make absolutely certain he isn't about to make a Big mistake is "yabbing women" to you, then fine! Una nor dey ever hear word,na why women go continue to use una do yeye 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Go Alone Or With My Family To The Uk by Mindlog: 9:43am On May 11, 2022 |
Re: Go Alone Or With My Family To The Uk by Mindlog: 10:34am On May 11, 2022 |
odinson1: What is the big deal in coming here with one's wife and kids, even on the student visa route? I guess because you married a girl from the village, you feel safer leaving her back in the village with your relatives as bringing her to the urban area you live in would spoil her! ![]() 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Go Alone Or With My Family To The Uk by Richy4(m): 10:59am On May 11, 2022 |
It's not easy any where around the world as a student not to talk of UK... You can't just get to UK and start working immediately as if the job is waiting for you.... U will have to burn some cash for rent, groceries etc for months before u land a job..and working 20 hours is just so you can buy books...not even enough to enroll for another year/ semester.. A nursing mum, with two kids depending on a limited cash resources will burn it quickly...Except u have Tinubu's Bullion van ![]() I will suggest that your wife should manage the business at home so that u don't lose out... In seven months you will get used to their system, U will also learn from others before you, then you will devise a means to bring them... 3 Likes |
Re: Go Alone Or With My Family To The Uk by odinson1(m): 12:10pm On May 11, 2022 |
Mindlog:The big deal is that the Stupid wokeness and Feminism over there will get into her head. We've seen countless Nairaland men here asking for advice about their wives they took abroad,who are now misbehaving. The problem is that you men don't listen, y'all would rather go through hell yourself to tell how hot the fire is. 1 Like |
Re: Go Alone Or With My Family To The Uk by Mindlog: 12:23pm On May 11, 2022 |
odinson1: For those who left Nigeria as bachelors what stopped them from marrying women they met there in their host country? Why did they even leave for countries whose social system and development is also tied to that stupid wokeness and feminism , when they could have stayed back in Nigeria and enjoy where the stupid wokeness and feminism is fiercely resisted by religion and traditions. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Go Alone Or With My Family To The Uk by Kobojunkie: 12:50pm On May 11, 2022 |
Mindlog:Good questions. ![]() 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Go Alone Or With My Family To The Uk by Spherical77(m): 3:43pm On May 11, 2022 |
odinson1:you just dey yahn trash up and down ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Go Alone Or With My Family To The Uk by Nobody: 6:05pm On May 11, 2022 |
yuppyz: Your solution is simple, you need to follow a simple rule of thumb when making decisions. 1. Never leave your family when your child is still infant, at this period you need to stay put where they are. Make sure your kids are at least one or two years old before you move any where. UK will not run away or close student visa. 2. Never push your wife to be the primary provider in the UK, it will never work. UK jobs are not beans, especially if she is not skilled. People collapse doing menial jobs in the UK. 3. Doing 20 hours per week alone cannot sustain you, you need to apply for admission for your wife as your friends advised & you work 40 hours per week. This is what I know that every couple does in the UK. 4. If you are worried that your wife will embrace Western culture & call police on you at every argument, It means you both have not prepared yourself enough for where you are going. Stay in Nigeria. 5. Culture shock is enough to drain you, don't bring a nursing mum here to stress her out. 7 Likes |
Re: Go Alone Or With My Family To The Uk by frozen70(f): 10:35pm On May 11, 2022 |
yuppyz: Take your family along if you know you can't cope staying far from them When you get there, you will know how to navigate things What you should be worried about is flight tickets money and accommodation If that is sorted out then go with them Risk is part of a man's life |
Re: Go Alone Or With My Family To The Uk by emmanuelbrown26: 9:17am On May 12, 2022 |
odinson1:Na u get their time. No bi here, dem go carry their matter enter dey disturb us about wife they spent money on and sponsor in us or UK and they said wife go turn against? People never dey ready to learn and some dey like to learn in a very hard way |
Re: Go Alone Or With My Family To The Uk by Shalayetv: 10:42am On May 12, 2022 |
When insecurity or jealousy begins to surface, it can often appear harmless and somewhat adorable. But if it sinks its teeth too deep into the relationship, it can make you act out of character and harm the relationship. If that's the case and it's taking a toll on you and your partner, here's what you need to do. Please subscribe to our channel to enable this video to reach more people for them to learn from these tips thanks. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbM6C7lQt8I 1 Like |
Re: Go Alone Or With My Family To The Uk by yuppyz(m): 10:21am On May 13, 2022 |
Thank you so much everyone for your input. All your advise are valuable, I have gotten a different perspective. |
Re: Go Alone Or With My Family To The Uk by Exceed15: 11:11am On Jun 19, 2023 |
odinson1: U don talk am finish. A submissive, respectful woman in Nigeria suddenly become tiger when she gets there. |
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