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My Dignity Is Crushed - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by himir42175: 10:51pm On May 15, 2022
Permit me to update this thread one last time. As suggested by others; i have inquired why this?
And the ONLY response was "people can have bad luck and bad spirits in them; I don't want them to use "their own" to spoil your own. Not even because they will ask for money.
Now this makes me more scared than the original problem. Meaning your own family has bad luck or bad spirits that can chase away good fortune.
So now I'm caught between living the lie as a good-for-nothing fellow who begs to feed; or risk attracting "bad-luck" from in-laws and friends. You can see my dilemma.
Thanks for your contribution thus far.
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by Richy4(m): 8:10am On May 16, 2022
himir42175:
Permit me to update this thread one last time. As suggested by others; i have inquired why this?
And the ONLY response was "people can have bad luck and bad spirits in them; I don't want them to use "their own" to spoil your own. Not even because they will ask for money.
Now this makes me more scared than the original problem. Meaning your own family has bad luck or bad spirits that can chase away good fortune.
So now I'm caught between living the lie as a good-for-nothing fellow who begs to feed; or risk attracting "bad-luck" from in-laws and friends. You can see my dilemma.
Thanks for your contribution thus far.


What kind of life are you living as a married man buddy?

If your welfare is under scrutiny by people around you?... Why not do something about it?

Why do you believe in such nonsense anywayz?.. so if we should go by your logic, since Dangote is a rich man for example,.. all the people around him are having good spirits right?.. any day he encounters someone with negative spirit, and that individual noticed that he (Dangote) is Rich, he will infect him and he will be poor. He will be feeding from hand to mouth.... So also all the rich men and women all over the world...How does that even sound to you?

Since you don't like the way your life and family is under watched like Big brother show, why not separate your self from their prying eyes.. and warn your wife from discussing anything that has to do with your family situations... Is that really difficult to do?
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by DextrousDavidS: 8:15am On May 16, 2022
himir42175:
I'll try to summarize. I recently came across good fortune, after lots of hardwork. The type that upscales your standard of living by a huge percentage. Good right? But the problem now is my spouse. For reasons known best to her, she doesnt want her family to have any idea of this. I understand times are wicked and you gotta be careful. I understand this. but the approach is what mesmerizes me. When they ask after us, she sometimes tell them we've not eaten for days.
That we had to go beg for food etc. That somebody lent us piecemeal amounts etc to eat.
That i'm sick and we cant pay the hospital bill. She even goes as far as asking siblings to send her recharge vouchers like 100, 200, etc. And sometimes sends her account number to them and beg for 1k, 2k etc.
Now this puts me off because, in so doing she has dragged my respect to the mud. Probably they all now see me as a church-rat, no do-good. If you want to hide your finances, must you tell them that we havent eaten for days, and beg them to send you 1k to eat. It hurts my reputation alot.
Not only her siblings, her friends and all. Did she think about the image of me she is portraying by doing such? I'm really cnfused and it hurts me alot because you would think she's trying to be smart to save money. But the reverse is the case; cos she doesnt blows through money like hot knife through butter. The problem now is why she had to rubbish me inthe mud for this? I didnt ask for any of this.

I believe you just have to talk to her. So it doesnt become too much, what she is doing.

And please sir, can you tell me more about the good fortune aspect? help your boy oooo..
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by tayo60(f): 11:13am On May 16, 2022
What a low mentality woman? Just because she doesn't want you to be a blessing to others, she is portraying you and damaging your image as a poor man who couldn't feed his family. Even her family will think she is really suffering in the marriage, not knowing it's the other way round. She
has ruined your image and personality before people. People she begs from see you as a poverty stricken man who couldn't take care of his home. Better stop her from such evil way before it becomes reality. What a stingy woman? She shouldn't go to this extent because she wanted to hide your status from people. When they see you outside with good vibes, won't they conclude that your wife was lying about your status, that you are actually living well. Stop her now!

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Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by Aaaaarghmed(m): 2:06pm On May 16, 2022
What is bad is bad abeg,doesn't make sense.for how long will she keeping making people see you as a pauper.

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Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by tee59(f): 5:43pm On May 16, 2022
She has a poverty mentality. Such kind of woman can't prepare sumptuous meal for the family to eat. Hope, she's feeding your children and you well at home. She will rather be looking for cheap and inferior things to buy from the market than good ones. Better stop her now before things change for you.

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Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by Mariangeles(f): 6:14pm On May 16, 2022
himir42175:
Permit me to update this thread one last time. As suggested by others; i have inquired why this?
And the ONLY response was "people can have bad luck and bad spirits in them; I don't want them to use "their own" to spoil your own. Not even because they will ask for money.
Now this makes me more scared than the original problem. Meaning your own family has bad luck or bad spirits that can chase away good fortune.
So now I'm caught between living the lie as a good-for-nothing fellow who begs to feed; or risk attracting "bad-luck" from in-laws and friends. You can see my dilemma.
Thanks for your contribution thus far.

Your wife needs to emancipate herself from mental poverty. (Or maybe stinginess is her problem)

All that excuse about "people with bad luck and bad spirits" and yet she's willing to take from them? Don't mind that.

And watch yourself, before she infects and conforms you to her level.

2 Likes

Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by Shidda: 6:32pm On May 16, 2022
himir42175:
Permit me to update this thread one last time. .................................
Now this makes me more scared than the original problem.
.................................................................
You can see my dilemma.
Thanks for your contribution thus far.
Bro, i don't think anyone will support your wife for her actions, but if am to be honest, the problem lies more with you.
Don't get me wrong, am not trying to criticise you, but it seems to be really affecting you, using statements such as crushed dignity, scared, dilema. In summary, you're too worried about what people think and you fear the unknown. Your wife shouldn't do that, but if she does, you don't know what's going to happen, you can however find reasons to justify your fears, so they become a self fulfilling prophecy.
I think what you need to address is how you feel, about what she's doing. as for are actions, i can think of several things you can do to counter it that's keep you at ease.
Re: My Dignity Is Crushed by eyinjuege: 7:13pm On May 16, 2022
Simply ask her to stop telling her relatives such lies. And she should stop collecting the small change in their hands
She's just a greedy fellow.
Why would you collect recharge card you don't need from others?

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