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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt (2288 Views)
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My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by 50pseamer(m): 12:34pm On May 21, 2022 |
Hi all, I have been married for about 3 years to my wife and we live abroad, some years back I discovered my wife has credit card debt , and was keeping it away from me, I complained about it, and she was not remorseful, she was paying so much on the credit as interest and insurance that I had to help her stop the insurance payments, and I started supporting her more financially by paying for something's for my child so she does not use all the money I give her for it. I looked at her statement again not long ago and the debt has drastically increased, she is buying more stuff. Even though she is not working at the moment and I pay 99 percent of all the bills, and give her money every month too. I told her to consult me whenever she has to do a major purchase for our child that her monthly allowance can not support. Her debt has grown to about 5 thousand dollars now with an interest of about 22 percent per year, she spends more than she pays back, I am afraid she will plunge the family into debt. When I asked her for an explanation of what she is using the money for , she told me she is spending it on herself and our child which I don't believe.She gathered the debt over a period of one year and some months.What happens when we have another child? I asked her to tell me how she plans to put an end to this growing debt but she has given me no response till date , she is only saying she will work and pay it off. I am confused because I do not see the reason for so much debt, since we can afford most of the things we need, and. She can still afford to send a little stipend home, I asked her to let us discuss her financial needs of she needs more money from me , but she never came for that discussion. Am I not supposed to know about her debt as her husband? Is it beyond me to want her to stop gathering a debt that can spiral beyond her control? 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by Hamzaaaaaaaa(m): 12:34pm On May 21, 2022 |
Your wife is obviously taking care of one small boy that's driving her crazy due to his big gbola,next thing you will receive now is divorce letter gbas!!!!! 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by Joeyzinho: 12:36pm On May 21, 2022 |
Find out what she does with the money.. Then separate your funds and save as much as you can. Go get marriage counseling. She will bankrupt you both.. If she won’t abide by any agreement, you are headed for the rocks. Women are as addicted to spending money as junkies are to Methamphetamine.. Marriage means sharing, but it doesn't have to mean sharing your spouse's debt burden.. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by chatinent: 12:36pm On May 21, 2022 |
Are you sure Ikorudu boys in Nigeria aren't helping her withdraw it here and she's feeling it's a foreign doctor she's investing in? 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by Nobody: 12:38pm On May 21, 2022 |
Gbese re ooh. God will not allow you to see trouble. $5000 and interest of 22% aaaaaaah. This is already a sign of bad credit. You better stop this nonsense before it send you into the land of no return. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by Zonefree(m): 12:41pm On May 21, 2022 |
Ask her if she's building a house for her parents somewhere. Women always got plan B and their husbands are not involved in that plan. 10 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by Jennyclay(f): 12:45pm On May 21, 2022 |
You and your wife obviously have communication issues. Through your write up I could sense lack of communication and you will really need to work on that. But then, Let her find something doing in order to raise money to clear her debt. She can't just sit idle while you keep paying debts for her. But please you also need to assist her too because it won't be easy for her. Nevertheless, You need to sit her down and you guys should discuss how to manage your finances. If she has any hidden project that consumes her money then tell her to open up to you. This situation wouldn't have escalated if there was good communication in your marriage. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by Richy4(m): 1:14pm On May 21, 2022 |
<<My brother bad credit score could get you guys blacklisted.. if that should happen, it won't be a wonderful experience for you and your family... <<You have taken the first step which was an open communication... << The next step would be to be realistic on what you can swallow in terms of helping her to pay off her debt.. let her get a job... She can't keep spending what she doesn't have.. << The final step is for you to invite a third party into it... By third party I mean a financial planner... A financial planner can help.. there are some that were into pay as u go.. they charge session by session... Or like prepaid style... <<Your wife will not respect your opinion on being prudent in spending... But when u guys go to a financial planner, she will know that you are serious..and she will take the whole thing serious.... it's worth a trial..u don't have to be a rich man to seek the help of a financial planner... 4 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by ChoCho54(f): 1:16pm On May 21, 2022 |
Op what's she buying? If you can't see what she's buying to accumulate such debt, you might be ready to hack her phone and social media accounts to know what goes on behind. In any case, if she won't stop piling up debts for the family and she doesn't even work, you will need to involve a counselor. 4 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by Jennyclay(f): 1:42pm On May 21, 2022 |
Hamzaaaaaaaa:You have a low deficits in mental ability to think. Infact you're so shallow minded with a very low IQ. Is this what your zero empty brain could think?? Spits!!! 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by 50pseamer(m): 1:44pm On May 21, 2022 |
Jennyclay: I have already done all you mentioned to no avail, I was even thinking she was doing a hidden business, I have not stopped her from working, she is currently doing some study, and I never pressured her to work until recently that I started sending her vacancies. I wanted her to finish her studies so she could get a good job , that was why I never pressured her earlier to work. She had an online job she was doing as well but she does not earn much from it. She could have asked me for help if she needed to do anything she cannot afford. But I will need to know what it is 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by Hamzaaaaaaaa(m): 1:44pm On May 21, 2022 |
Jennyclay:Haha,Aunty wa,which one is low deficit again ![]() |
Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by JeffreyJunior: 5:00pm On May 21, 2022 |
Hamzaaaaaaaa:He has not complained of anything else except her mismanagement of fund, please respect his marriage. Bros, you should have added her to your credit card since she wasn't working yet instead of supporting her to get a credit card in her name. Doing that could've restrained her from seeing it as free money. Now that things are this way, I will advise you to do a simple trick. Advise her to call the credit card company and tell them she wants to pay down faster. This will make them increase her monthly payment. When she starts paying high monthly bill, maybe just maybe, she will reduce her spending. Also, please get her involved in your finances at least a little bit. When a husband shows his wife that his money belongs to the home, a good wife will automatically turn to financial manager because she won't want the home to go bankrupt. But when he fails to do that, there will be two banks in the home running concurrently, each trying to run the other out of business. 5 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by GboyegaD(m): 5:46pm On May 21, 2022 |
Why not first try to convince her to cut down her limit? Besides, since she isn't working, how is she able to get many credit cards with much limits? An approach might be to get a new credit card for both of you that offers a promotional interest of 0% for the 1st 15months (Chase, Wells Farfo, Bank of America, America Express) if you are in the US offers such card. Call to ask if you can transfer balances and consolidate balances in the one card. Once you do this, don't give her the card but you rather start paying down the credit to the best of your ability and if after the promotional period you have outstanding balance, you can convert it into a term loan. Going forward, try to monitor her expense and try to help her not to buy things she doesn't need. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by tee59(f): 7:02pm On May 21, 2022 |
Your wife is a drift spender. She's not even saving for tomorrow. Why will a reasonable woman be acquiring debt a lot like this without any purpose for it? Hope she's not having a hidden project. How can you achieve great things , when debt is what you clear for her everytime. You need to do some secret checks on her spending ,where the money is going. Life is not the bed of roses. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by eyinjuege: 7:29pm On May 21, 2022 |
Hmmm, she's not working and you're the one indirectly paying the debt? Unless I didn't get that part well Anyway the debt is not too much at the moment, but personally I am known to take very drastic decisions, even though very slow in making my decisions. If she has a job and is paying back as and when due, I would watch and wait. If she's piling up more debt, without any tangible thing done with the money, please cut her lose sooner than later. She will just be deadweight in your own journey. Sorry if I'm a bit harsh But if you can afford to fund her lifestyle, you can all Buga togerra. I didn't advise you to leave your wife o ![]() 4 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by kazyhm(m): 7:33pm On May 21, 2022 |
Reason I disagree with those school of thought that women handles finance better than men. On average I can't trust any woman with the money she never worked for.....they spend on all manner of needless stuffs. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by Lamanii22(f): 9:14pm On May 23, 2022 |
Hamzaaaaaaaa:you got that right… since you provide almost everything, I see no reason why she would be in so much debt… |
Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by Originalsly: 9:50pm On May 23, 2022 |
How can you not know what she is spending on? Do you notice Amazon boxes in the garbage? ... do you notice her clothes?... does she spend on perfumes?.... what about underwear and shoes?... is she a sneaker person? Is the spending related to her studies? ..is she a gambler? You should be seeing something . $5000 a year is not much for a woman to burn ... on nothing. You may need to take over the credit card ..... let her have a debit card instead. 4 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by Klass99(f): 10:21pm On May 23, 2022 |
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Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by Klass99(f): 10:31pm On May 23, 2022 |
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Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by thorpido(m): 11:10pm On May 23, 2022 |
You need to stop baby sitting your wife and be a bit hard on her.She will run you down with the way she's going.She's a drip spender who just buys whatever she wants. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by GboyegaD(m): 11:59pm On May 23, 2022 |
Klass99: I am not sure she understands. Many people think credit is free money till they get themselves messed up. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by Richy4(m): 12:02am On May 24, 2022 |
Klass99: ![]() ![]() I believe OP have a spouse that is a shopaholic... And it's because of this kind of individuals that doesn't shop based on budget/ need that the bank makes unnecessary excess income... OP is paying 99% of every thing at home.. If she can get a job and both of them visits a certified financial planner, it will help them .. OP should also make her wife watch Suze Orman shows on CNBC..Not so sure if they were still showing it... She's a financial advisor...that woman is brilliant in terms of answering people's questions on buying thing.. I did financial planning as a borrowed course in my master's degree... This case was actually similar with those assignments and Exams that we had those days.. That evil card have ruined a lot of homes abroad.. and the way the bank issues it like they were doing their customers a big favour is alarming... Not statistically confirm though but I believe 15% or more of homeless people today was as a result of that card... U loose your job, you can't pay for the mortgage, can't maintain the car that was on credit with the insurance, TV and other home appliances were on credit.. everything repossessed... Next was to hit the street... E no easy... 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by satandeterrible: 7:13am On May 24, 2022 |
JeffreyJunior:Rubbish. Foolish simp. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by satandeterrible: 7:18am On May 24, 2022 |
tee59:OP this is the advice you should follow. That woman is certainly spending money on some secret projects which you know nothing about. The earlier you investigate, the better for you. Also, from the look of things, it seems she doesn't respect you that much. I don't know how long your marriage is going to last with a woman who does not respect you. Investigate into her lifestyle, she's probably spending money on some secret affairs. Even if she's not, this is important evidence to show you made a bad choice of a wife. A woman should primarily be a home maker, a home manger. When the woman doesn't do that, that she is a very valueless woman. You made a bad choice of a wife. May God help you. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by satandeterrible: 7:24am On May 24, 2022 |
Richy4:They don't need to visit any financial planner. You don't need a financial planner to tell you that you're spending above your limits. You don't need a financial planner to tell you that you're heavily running into debt. You don't need a financial planner to tell you that a bad credit score will mess you up. This is common sense, which obviously the woman does not have. The man shoulders up to 99% of the expenses in the house. Moreover the woman hasn't come clean to her husband on what she spends the money on. The man has also not seen any tangible thing she does with her money. It is obvious that the OP married a very bad market. He is in a real conundrum and I pray God helps him. That woman certainly has other things under her sleeve and no gold will come out of that marriage in the long run. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by cococandy(f): 7:33am On May 24, 2022 |
This is one of the disadvantages of separate finances in marriage. You guys should be doing stuff jointly and that way you know what the major expenditures are. I know some people can still be sneaky but joint finances helps to cut down on this type of stuff. In this obodo, a financially reckless spouse who makes no money or spends more than they make will ruin your life quicker than you can imagine. Merge your finances now so you can better see what she’s up to. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by Richy4(m): 9:13am On May 24, 2022 |
satandeterrible: Actually, we don't need to throw Jabs at OP' s wife because it's not necessarily... Some people are compulsive shoppers/ spenders due to pathological conditions or disorder that they have... Some are just simply out of control shoppers..we don't really know the one OP's wife is... You might think that planning ,budgeting and spending within one's means is common sense, but it's not really the way u think.. what u think is common knowledge might not be to some.. Some people abroad believe so much on credit card.. and spending above their means is what they know all their lives... A lot of people have zero or knows next to nothing about prudent spending.. that is why financial advisors are there to rescue and assist them... This family really needs the assistance of a financial advisor now that the amount of debt is not too much. A spouse who is an out of control spender will see the partner as judgemental.. and there will be constant argument every now and then over financial issues and it normally leads to a crack in a relationship... the intervention of a third party ( FP) will help them.. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by Klass99(f): 9:31am On May 24, 2022 |
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Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by Klass99(f): 9:40am On May 24, 2022 |
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Re: My Wife Is Running Into Credit Card Debt by NoToPile: 9:43am On May 24, 2022 |
I don't understand, what is she buying? This is a big issue oo, especially as you guys are even abroad. Some tales I hear about credit card gbese are not nice at all. Dunno how it works but if can you deactivate it or something, do whatever you have to do oo. You need to do something drastic oo. |
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