OP. A man gains absolutely nothing from marriage. Know this and know peace!

Get a baby mama, give birth, take your child and move on with ur life.

Hopemanfx:

1) I have a believe that if I get married I will lose focus.
2) the fear of not achieving what I want to achieve in life.
3) am afraid of diverting from my main goal in life and focus on something else.
4) fear of marital issues that will make me lose focus and plan.
5) marrying to pretendous woman.
6) a lot more.
Please I need your advice

It all depends on who you are and the kind of spouse you marry,
1) marriage is meant to sharpen your focus, not make you loose it. Two good heads are always better than one
2) Marriage will not stop you from achieving your dreams, it is meant to make achieving your dreams easier.
3) Marriage will not stop you from achieving your goals, it should help you achieve more
4) Having marital issues depends on you and your spouse. If you marry a understanding, forgiving and committed spouse, it makes all these issues easier
5) That's why you need to "shine your eyes"
A marriage is as good as the two people involved in it. It takes two to tango. If you are a bad person, you will get a bad marriage. Even if you get a great person, you will use your bad character to scatter the marriage. If you also marry a bad spouse, you will also get a bad marriage.
Look beyond shape when choosing a spouse, pray, commit your ways into God's hand and he will direct your path.

Hopemanfx:
Hello!
Nairalanders, please I really need your advice. Am really afraid of marriage. Am already 37yrs this year! I keep postponing it. I earn average income from my business; atleast I can boost of 300k-400k per month. with this, I can take care of my wife and children..Unfortunately! Am afraid of marriage for the following reasons.
1) I have a believe that if I get married I will lose focus.
2) the fear of not achieving what I want to achieve in life.
3) am afraid of diverting from my main goal in life and focus on something else.
4) fear of marital issues that will make me lose focus and plan.
5) marrying to pretendous woman.
6) a lot more.
Please I need your advice

Bros, abeg no marry..
Sheyb wen u die, all ya asset go bkom others

Jennyclay:
It's normal, but I think it's time you get over it, try getting so acquainted to a good and loving lady and watch her take away your fears. Love supersedes all!!

BTW, why are you so focused about your career?? what you listed above shows you're more concerned about your career (1-4).

You better don't create boring environment for your wife if you eventually get married. Because she would definitely get the attention you aren't giving her outside. (I know what I'm saying).

Who said you can't achieve your goals when you're married??

Listen to me carefully.. There are blessings attached to marriage that makes one have access to the good things nature have to offer in life.

Infact proverbs 18:22 "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, And obtaineth favor of God"

Sister you see that good and loving lady you talking about na there the problem dey. They've gone extinct.

Proverb 18 : 22 Whoso findeth a GOOD wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor of God.

As your mind never carry am, no disturb yourself. Marriage is not a do or die affair. No be another person go tell u when or if you will marry at all.

Deep down your soul, u will decipher the appropriate time for you to tie the knot.

Jennyclay:
It's normal, but I think it's time you get over it, try getting so acquainted to a good and loving lady and watch her take away your fears. Love supersedes all!!

BTW, why are you so focused about your career?? what you listed above shows you're more concerned about your career (1-4).

You better don't create boring environment for your wife if you eventually get married. Because she would definitely get the attention you aren't giving her outside. (I know what I'm saying).

Who said you can't achieve your goals when you're married??

Listen to me carefully.. There are blessings attached to marriage that makes one have access to the good things nature have to offer in life.

Infact proverbs 18:22 "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, And obtaineth favor of God"

God bless you

JERRY1925:




Seriously, be scared.
It's really not an easy adventure.
My marriage is three month now..mehn, ill say marriage is meant for the brave.
U have a lot of things to learn.
Another fact is, u will no longer put urself first.

Seriously, be scared.

Are you scared when preparing for marriage?

How old are you when you got married?

How much was your income?

Hopemanfx:
Hello!
Nairalanders, please I really need your advice. Am really afraid of marriage. Am already 37yrs this year! I keep postponing it. I earn average income from my business; atleast I can boost of 300k-400k per month. with this, I can take care of my wife and children..Unfortunately! Am afraid of marriage for the following reasons.
1) I have a believe that if I get married I will lose focus.
2) the fear of not achieving what I want to achieve in life.
3) am afraid of diverting from my main goal in life and focus on something else.
4) fear of marital issues that will make me lose focus and plan.
5) marrying to pretendous woman.
6) a lot more.
Please I need your advice

I pity ladies who marry men that are scared of commitment. I also pity those who get married without a reason.
Na big suffering be that
At this stage of life, marriage is not by force.

Pascopele:

Your fears are genuine.

Many people are not interested in marriage but because of society they get married and be become miserable, however, life is not so difficult we humans make it difficult.

If you get married now, by the time you are 49yrs your child would be 10yrs and you hit 60yrs you first child would be probably 20yrs, you will have the energy to fend again.

I for example have 34 baby mamas
8 girlfriend and I have been able to achieve the things I want to achieve.

The choice is yours.

Join SafeHavenJoint on telegram if you interested in getting a baby mama.

Werey where you bang 34babes and all of Dem dun produce

Hopemanfx:

If you can't get married then don't get a baby mama. Baby mama route takes much money and give more problem.

Having a baby mama is like living a divorcee life. Na the pikin and your money go suffer.

In fact, a responsible lady will never agree to be a baby mama/single mother.

Adopt a child instead, if you can.

If you really want marriage, seek counselor first.

Boogyman557:
Holly Gram get a baby MAMA and chilax..


As I de here So!


I no like disturbance ooo..


All and all, Na PIKIN u de FIND!


Hardly to see a real and SIMPLE girl who's loyal dis days..


A man was complaining to me about his wife, that all she does now is Tiktok app from morning till night. A married woman ooo..


this one na people wey just marry newly Las year..


U see that 300 to 400k wey u de get..


If u get married to the wrong woman, that money go become 300 naira and 400 naira.. U will not only invest in the woman, u will also invest in her family!



the weather is Cold MAN!


LITE UP my precious WEED in peace


WTF MAN!

how far na better advice u give am so

tensazangetsu20:
Honestly 300k is too small to marry in Nigeria. It might look big to you but once a child is in, it will become equivalent to 50k then school fees feeding and all of that expenses and you aren't even sure of the 300k. It will also lose its value and purchasing power overtime. You are a man you can marry anytime you want. Present NBA chairman just got married at 47 and that was his first marriage. The president of the Nigerian stock exchange got married at 52 and that was his first. You can even marry at 90 if you so wish. Just get your money up.

Dude!

Shey you know say you take style get bad mouth.

TMTR:


Get a baby mama, age is not on your side, as you dey fear marriage, your mind no carry am , then forget about it

A baby mama is way worse than having a wife. I don't know the reason some young men support it. It is worse having a baby mama than not marrying at all. He would spend more, have the custody of his child(ren) with an indecisive woman, and in a Nigerian setting, never-do-well. The best way to raise children from studies has always been in a two-parent household [this excludes cases of death thus widow(er)].

Pascopele:

Your fears are genuine.

Many people are not interested in marriage but because of society they get married and be become miserable, however, life is not so difficult we humans make it difficult.

If you get married now, by the time you are 49yrs your child would be 10yrs and you hit 60yrs you first child would be probably 20yrs, you will have the energy to fend again.

I for example have 34 baby mamas
8 girlfriend and I have been able to achieve the things I want to achieve.

The choice is yours.

Join SafeHavenJoint on telegram if you interested in getting a baby mama.

Baby-mama means at least each has a child for you. Does it mean you have at least 34 children? Which successful man do you know in the world that has a similar number of offpspring?

tensazangetsu20:
Honestly 300k is too small to marry in Nigeria. It might look big to you but once a child is in, it will become equivalent to 50k then school fees feeding and all of that expenses and you aren't even sure of the 300k. It will also lose its value and purchasing power overtime. You are a man you can marry anytime you want. Present NBA chairman just got married at 47 and that was his first marriage. The president of the Nigerian stock exchange got married at 52 and that was his first..Just get your money

In addition Oscar Onyema OON, comes from a royal family...Him papa na Igwe! o, did his MBA in the USA and worked with the NewYork Stock exchange for 10 yrs+ before returning to Naija.

I will never recycle poverty...NEVER

0neal:



In addition Oscar Onyema OON, comes from a royal family...Him papa na Igwe! o, did his MBA in the USA and worked with the NewYork Stock exchange for 10 yrs+ before returning to Naija.

I will never recycle poverty...NEVER

Guy its better to die single than to be married and poor. Once you marry poor especially in a useless country like Nigeria the chances of escaping that poverty is almost 0 percent. Little money that you will save to upgrade yourself probably by more courses and certifications will be used in buying pampers and paying school fees. God abeg o

Marcco:
Ignore all these people telling you to go and get married. If you get fûcked inside it you will carry your cross on your own. This is 2022 it's OK to not get married. It's even OK to not want kids. Men are the only ones still thinking like this. A female in your position would have already convinced herself that she does not need a man and embrace independence with her full chest.

Na man go dey this kind position dey reason woman matter. It's all societal conditioning, you will do well to break free.

You deserve a bottle of beer for the bolded.

I've said it before and will repeat again: when it comes to heterosexual relationships, men are foolish.

Raalsalghul:




Dude!

Shey you know say you take style get bad mouth.

Honestly it's the truth, a lot of people who have never earned such will see it as a big amount of money. if he stays in Lagos, how much does a reasonable 2 bedroom flat go for. Eating food nko then school fees, diapers, healthcare and every other future expenses depending on how many kids he has.

Reading comments...I must say the way women preach so much good about marriage and list out all the benefits, one would think that's how it is in reality. Lol. You would think these women will get married and all that they listed will start playing out..but in reality its usually the reverse. The same gospel preachers of marriage will make the mans life miserable, destroy his relationship with his day one friends and families, cheat on the man. Some will wish the mother inlaw dies.

Marriage is only beneficial to women. A man getting married just wants to have kids.

tensazangetsu20:


Guy its better to die single than to be married and poor. Once you marry poor especially in a useless country like Nigeria the chances of escaping that poverty is almost 0 percent. Little money that you will save to upgrade yourself probably by more courses and certifications will be used in buying pampers and paying school fees. God abeg o

Finally, someone that think like me. I'm of the opinion that you shouldn't get or have kids till you are not comfortable enough,it leads to more suffering. Sadly,there will always be poor people because that's what the society wants, you'll hear bs like "if you get married, your wife's HEAD will open doors for you", same head that didn't open any door for her father.

Getting a wife is means you are ready to produce kids, which woman will get married to a guy and wait for him (work hard with him, not just lazy about on his dreams while offering cheap sex) to attain comfort before they start producing kids? Even if she agrees to that, nature won't. In no time she'll hit menopause while the guy will continue to kick till death.

That's why hypergamy and polygamy should be encouraged, woman should get married in their early and mid-twenties to high value men,the fact that this high value men are limited is where polygamy comes in. Low value guys have no business getting married EXCEPT she shares in his vision and is ready to build their dream life with him, not just sit idle while waiting for her head to open doors for him.

Don't bring innocent kids to this world to suffer,the world is over populated already with the number of poor people skyrocketing everyday. You'll only increase your suffering while you keep running from church to mosque trying to kill an innocent witch in your village because you think she's the one holding your blessings.

Jennyclay:

Listen to me carefully.. There are blessings attached to marriage that makes one have access to the good things nature have to offer in life.

Infact proverbs 18:22 "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, And obtaineth favor of God"

You're supporting marriage because you're a female and only females benefit from marriage.

I know a lot of married men that are suffering with their family.Many have been left by their wives.So where is the blessing?

FYI,that scripture was written when women were still valuable.Not now that all we have are hook up girls and oloshos.All we have now are women who bring bastard children for their husbands.

tell who ever you want to marry that you will marry more than one wife, men are polygamous in nature. your fairs comes come the fact that you feel you are killing your nature by signing that forever agreement.... You will be fine.

Hopemanfx:
Hello!
Nairalanders, please I really need your advice. Am really afraid of marriage. Am already 37yrs this year! I keep postponing it. I earn average income from my business; atleast I can boost of 300k-400k per month. with this, I can take care of my wife and children..Unfortunately! Am afraid of marriage for the following reasons.
1) I have a believe that if I get married I will lose focus.
2) the fear of not achieving what I want to achieve in life.
3) am afraid of diverting from my main goal in life and focus on something else.
4) fear of marital issues that will make me lose focus and plan.
5) marrying to pretendous woman.
6) a lot more.
Please I need your advice

Youre well justified to fear marriage. Marriage is something that is societally regulated (through culture), which compels a woman to keep herself and uphold virtues. Since she is not expected to contribute materially to the marriage, her contribution is virtue, which many, if not most lack these days.

She should uphold chastity, be supportive, patient, give you peace, be an asset, and so forth. A man's duty was to defeat himself (his vices) and the world but a woman was to defeat herself only, which seems like too much to ask. If you see a woman with good virtues, marry her, if not, don't ever marry. You don't reward rotten women with marriage, because it brings down the worth of it.

tensazangetsu20:


Guy its better to die single than to be married and poor. Once you marry poor especially in a useless country like Nigeria the chances of escaping that poverty is almost 0 percent. Little money that you will save to upgrade yourself probably by more courses and certifications will be used in buying pampers and paying school fees. God abeg o

Preach Sir

I know two of my married colleagues with kids who are heavy in debt amounting to millions.

I refuse to be trapped in the matrix

Jennyclay:
It's normal, but I think it's time you get over it, try getting so acquainted to a good and loving lady and watch her take away your fears. Love supersedes all!!

BTW, why are you so focused about your career?? what you listed above shows you're more concerned about your career (1-4).

You better don't create boring environment for your wife if you eventually get married. Because she would definitely get the attention you aren't giving her outside. (I know what I'm saying).

Who said you can't achieve your goals when you're married??

Listen to me carefully.. There are blessings attached to marriage that makes one have access to the good things nature have to offer in life.

Infact proverbs 18:22 "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, And obtaineth favor of God"

jus tell d guy u r interested

Osibajo2023:
jus tell d guy u r interested

Interested in what

Your choice bro, but when you eventually choose, if it falls on marriage, plssssssssssssssssss no marry liability, make sure she has a trade or is employed, it will do you great good..I come in peace