First of all don't be quick to judge me. I am just here for matured help/advice cos I am fast loosing it. I am sure if it's abroad I will to told to go meet a therapist.

I am a young man in my early 40s and married for 9 years now with 2 kids. My nature of work is such that I am living on another town 5hours away from my family. This has been the case 6years out of the 9 years I am married. I have never really enjoyed my marriage as a young man cos I am always driving up and down every weekend to meet my family and when I got a promotion with more responsibility I reduced it to every 2 weeks, and as the stress of work and driving became more stressful, I now go every month. I have tried all my best even till date to see if I can get another work in the same state my wife and kids reside to no avail and my wife can't leave her work in the state join me as she is in a federal government establishment that has no branch in the state I live and work.

The scenario so far shows you that I am not enjoying a healthy sex life with my wife, but being someone brought up to respect the marriage institution, I have resigned to my fate and taken life as I have seen it. To make matters worse, with due respect to my wife, she suffered female genital mutilation and you know it affects women's sex life and their man is always worse off for it. In summary we lead a routine boring sex life in the few occasions we even get to have it. However, the 6 years I have lived and worked in another state, I have never cheated or thought of cheating on her despite all the cold lonely nights I have to spend alone. I am a kind of introvert and never hide it from people that I am married. Some will be like "u no get side chick"? I will say no.

The problem started 4 years earlier out of the 6years in the city I live and work. Since I am always lonely and bored in my crib, I mostly do video calls with my wife and kids daily or chat online with friends to keep my mind busy and avoid unnecessary tensions that will remind me of the lonely boring life I was living. This also keeps me away from sexual urges if I feel any as a fool-blooded young man I was. It was in one of these online chats that I got close to one young lady of about 30. We really got close through chatting and graduated to exchanging numbers. I always make it known that I was married to everyone I meet and she was no exception. We became best friends online and kept our limits as married man and a single lady would. We became curious and excited to meet each other live when we found out we were in same city.

We arranged a harmless date in a restaurant in town were we really got to know more about each other. I found out that she was a struggling young girl teaching in a private school with NCE and was unable to proceed to degree level due to lack of funds. Her salary wasn't even up to 18k and she was squatting with one lady in very uncomfortable circumstances. After that 1st live meeting, a very good friendship ensued but entirely platonic .

All these past 4 years before I met her, I cook for myself and go to market by myself. One Friday she called and I did not immediately pick cos I was in the kitchen. I called her back later and told her I was cooking and she jokingly asked if she could help. As at then she was yet to come to my place, so I told her if she really wanted to help then I would come and pick her up and that was how for the first time in 4 years, a lady visited me in that town. It felt awkward. It did not take long for me to find out how homely she was...washed plates, tidied everywhere, and finished up the cooking. I really felt at peace and started getting worried at the same time. We spent time chatting but kept our distance and nothing happened between us and I dropped her off later where she was squatting.

After that, our friendship went to another level and the visits became more frequent but still nothing happened between us. I got to know she was a well brought up lady that still had values and I also confirmed she had no man as at the time she met me. She said she had always wished to be married before now and never believed she would reach 30 and still be single.

I know my story is getting rather long, so let me try to wrap up. In summary, she started having issues with the family she was squatting with and didn't have enough money to rent a place of her own. I didn't have enough to rent for her either as I was already carrying a lot of financial responsibilities for her by then...monthly stipend of ₦10k to add to her salary, tolletries, making hairs and even helping out with her sick mum hospital bills.

So without a 2nd thought, both of us decided she move into my place. Inside me I knew it was somehow but I think by then we were already in love with each but maybe living in denial.

So she moved in and that was it. Yes, we started having sex, uncomfortably at 1st but later became 2 sex maniacs. It was as if she was sent to compensate me for my horrible marriage sex experience I have endured all these years. We couldn't have enough of each other. In fact when I want to travel and see my family, she breaks down crying. I knew it was more than a side chick matter. In fact this lady gave me a fulfilled sex life that I swear if it's in the olden days I wouldn't mind taking her as a 2nd wife. Months grew into years and our passion for each other grew to the point that we got jealous of the opposite sex calling us. She even starts frowning when my wife calls or tears will start running down her eyes. People, I became so confused. We both knew we have gone too far and yet were not ready to end it.

I even because part of her own family cos I go with her to see her sick mum and played a prominent role when she died. I don't know her older siblings knew if I was married or not , but I think she confided in her older sister who seemed to like me so much and only warned her to be "careful."

After 2 years, she started agitating about marriage so much that she said she needed to move out of my place. That as long as she is with me, she might not get married since it's obvious I wasn't going to marry her no matter how much both of us pretended about it. Deep inside me I knew she was right and I couldn't be selfish to keep her from meeting single suitors but I felt an inexplicable pain in my heart as if a part of me was about to be cut off. However, I forced myself to assist her to get a place and yet she on her own kept coming to my place every weekend until she moved in again leaving her place wasting for over 2 months., only going there once in a while to pick things..

All the 2 years we were together she was open and truthful to me about relationships she was now trying to build with single guys she hoped would marry her. I was already feeling bad inside me that she was about to leave my life, but she kept assuring me that she was with me and truly told me everything happeneing in the new relationship she was building.

She later moved out completely from my place after 2years on a new year day. She said needed to start the year on a good and clean note and had gotten serious with the guy that said he wants to marry her. I began to feel extreme jealous I couldn't explain. I knew it was not right but I couldn't stop myself. I tried my best and stopped calling or chatting with her but I still didn't find peace. One evening a month after when it was now clear that she has decided to get serious with the guy she said was coming for marriage, she visited me and and you can't believe it, we made hot passionate love. And when we were lying side by side, her new man called and she quickly ran into the toilet to answer him. I felt it was time I ended this whole thing, it wasn't looking right again.

So I confronted her why she was still leading me on when she is now in a marriage -bound relationship and she said because she still loves me and doesn't know how to let go of me. We cried together that it wiould be tough as we would soon separate from each other for life and she left. I cried like a baby as we made love again and she consoling me to try and teach my wife the things she does to me despite her FGM predicament.

The period she was with me, she was uncomfortable answering calls from her man and I got fed up and decided to investigate. So I went to the street where she showed me the guy lives(she was truly open to me and I give her that) and waited to see if she has started visiting him as she mostly denies and lo and behold, I saw her entering the guy's house. I felt a sharp pang of jealousy which I couldn't control. I picked up my phone after some minutes and started calling her, but her phone rang severally and she didn't pick. I was almost half-dead with jealousy. I cried iny heart and drove away. I sent her a text that because she was "enjoying" herself with her man she was now avoiding my calls. That maybe tbe guy was so good at it. She called about 2 hours later and really took offence that because she visited him and did not pick my call was simply because she doesn't want him to start asking questions and not necessarily that they were doing anything.

We quarrelled like never before and said hurtful things to each other and I asked her to return my key at my office the next day cos by then she no longer visited my house as she has really gotten serious with the guy. She returned the key and for over 2 months we stopped communicating and became strangers.

Instead of pushing her out my mind, I felt a daily torture looking through her Facebook pics, WhatsApp status, and other social media. I will go to her guy's street and painfully watch her enter his house from afar. I was fast losing my mind. I knew it was over for good and don't want her back but the obsession is yet to leave me till date. Everyday, I check her pictures and feels pangs of pain and jealousy as I see her lovely smiles. My people it's punishment and torture for me. I keep obsessing every second of my life about her. Who can help me? Something is definitely wrong. In one of her recent status, I saw her flaunt her hands with an engagement ring and I felt a sharp pang of sadness instead of happiness. People help me I am loosing it. Even though she has apologized to me and I too have apologized for the hurtful things we said in the course of our quarrel, my mind is still not at peace.

Even now presently she is engaged she still calls me and tries to engage me in friendly conversations but I will just be answering without interest. She even sent me a pic recently at a wedding she went to and I told her she should stop sending me her pics but should be sending to her man. She apologized and said she has taken note. Yet, I will feel bad inside me if I don't see her friendly chats which my attitude has made her reduce. Yet in all these, first thing in the morning I will quickly rush to check her pics, if she has made new posts, etc etc. I need help, I really do. Sorry my people for the long post but I really needed to empty myself to see the help I can get if any cos I want my normal sane life back. I have also prayed to God and asked for forgiveness for cheating on my wife ....I have no excuses for doing so but from the long story you can see it was never my intention.

Break your long epistle into paragraphs .

You will just die for nothing..yimu.

Lol.

She has moved on. Move on too. You have your wife, go to her while she is with her husband to be.

Guy, allow her move on give yourself all the reasons in the world not to be interested in things of her lest you get her pregnant. my two cents...

This looks like a poorly written book. No paragraph or continuity.



Click LIKE if you want me to summarize it and SHARE if I should not.

In all of these, it's your wife I feel for. Well, what has been done cannot be undone. Just keep your mouth shut kpekem. No tell am anything o. If you don't want her to die before her time. And don't tell anyone about your affair, not even your pastor cos only you can give yourself peace.

you'll lose the love of your life because you're married?

OP, let me not lie. Couldn't read all of diz ur very volumnious story! But will advise you to Stick to your Wife and manage her! This Single lady will NOT be too different if u decide to 2nd Wife her! Use ur Sense Plz.

Get a sniper and end it, simp. But before you do, make sure you tell your wife the pin to your ATM so she doesn't waste time begging bankers for few change you have in bank. This is how you simps go about destroying everything you build all because of kpekus. You are crying for her my foot. The real cry is still coming. Ewu ohia

Wow

M speechless
You av to move on, she already did
Everything is just infatuation, obsession, and lust and maybe love... Am confuse sef
I think you missed avin ur wife wit you...
You need to put some dirt on her in your mind, forget abt her good part mayb you can move on...
And your marriage, i think ur wife need to give up on her job to move in with you... Help her find a job in that state. She need to remember you're married you can't live like a single guy.

To take ur mind off her only time will tell

decatalyst:
This looks like a poorly written book. No paragraph or continuity.



Click LIKE if you want me to summarize it and SHARE if I should not.

Summarise if u like o.
Haba, the story is way TOO LONG! E come be like say person dey prepare for WAEC Gce!

TIME. That is all you need. With time you will gradually forget her. Focus more on things that will keep your mind busy and off her. Resist every temptation to be stalking her around. Face your wife and life. Leave her and her man alone. Stop her from visiting you and even calling or chatting. Delete her number, unfollow her on social media. Out of sight is out of mind.

But na wah for your wife and una marriage sef...so she didnt visit you for the 2 years you lived with your side chick? She is either negligent or complicit.

Imagine if your wife was going through this with another guy somewhere without your knowledge.

Sorry buddy, you've truly lost it. What a pity

All hail the king of SIMPS. In the land of dimwits' , all the dimwits will call you miserable dimwit. Ode!

Time will heal you sir,you have happiness at home,let her find happiness too.
Na we be your best plug for everything sexual enhancement tho

Yeye op

What’s the mode of your madness ? Are you into witchcraft ?
You are getting jealous over someone joy. Your selfishness is legendary.
You aren’t missing her , you are missing her juicy pussyie and her blowjobx.
Teach your wife .

It’s a lesson for us young ones , before you marry, please confirm your sexual compatibility.
I only support abstinence if either or both partners are virgins . If not , shift pant , chuck dvck.
Lets stop leaving in denial , human love and enjoy sex. Try check if your partner can cope with your low , average or high libido. Also confirm the diick size and towto width and depth .
Sex make or mar marriages 85%.

What did I just read? Is this copied?

You will get over Her with time

I have moved on too. I only want tbe obsession with her to end too. It's now like punishment. And I have my wife, yes, but how many percent of the te do I have her?

RainOnMe:
Lol.

She has moved on. Move on too. You have your wife, go to her while she is with her husband to be.

I hardly use the word "simp" but you a big time simp. Like wtf, na so the pussy sweet reach? Pussies wey full ground,you want loose your mind ontop only one. You are a real mumu man.

Write Eligibly next time.
By the way is there anything barring you from settling for a second wife? Just asking!
It's maturity to intimate your wife of your resolve to bring in a second woman to assist, rather than indulging in unhealthy permutations.
It's her decision to accept or reject!
Have u considered discussing such with her?

Live no suppose hard, marriage dosent stop you from finding true love.we live once simp, your free to marry as many wife's as you wish provided you take care of them. don't be surprised if you die tomorrow another man go dey shine your wife congo. In these life I only do things that makes me happy because we all die alone. Happiness matters,Bleep love bro. Dieing in a loveless marriage all because of rubbish marriage certificate. Guess she's your soulmate.

Nice read.. na Love go kill Una..

I have and have made some typo corrections. Wrote in a hurry.
c

RainOnMe:
Break your long epistle into paragraphs .

should've took her for second wife.

RainOnMe:
Break your long epistle into paragraphs .

I have. I wrote in a hurry

Please someone should just summarize the write up for me biko

Oowel:
Guy, allow her move on give yourself all the reasons in the world not to be interested in things of her lest you get her pregnant. my two cents...

Get her pregnant? We are not visiting each other again. I have let her be It's just my obsessing about her left and which is what I need help about.