I have been working for this company for two years. In December 2021, there was a change in management, a new manager was assigned to my Department. Before the change in management, I applied for some jobs in November 2021 but I didn't get any response.

Things between my new manager and I developed really quickly (he is not married and he is 10 years older than me). Although we have been working together, when he became the new manager we started dating. it was mutual, it wasn't like he forced me. We liked each other and we started dating in March 2022. We kept things professional in the office. Nobody in the office knows about this even till now.

Those companies I applied to in November 2021 reached out to me for an interview. I got two offers at the same time. Both offers come with great pay (similar to what my boyfriend currently earns) and a significant boost to my career. I spoke to my boyfriend about it and being my boss he told me to reject both offers, he told me he would be able to cater for my needs that the only commitment he has now is paying for his house and once he is done paying for it, he would have more money to take care of me and I didn't need a job where they would pay me what he's currently earning and be in a role similar to his.

I told him it's not the money but it would be about moving up the ladder in my career. These are offers people do not have, now I have two, he is asking me to reject them. He told me even if I have to move the only offer I should take is the one close to the company where we work which has a lower pay compared to the second offer. I told him I would go with the second offer which has more opportunities for me. Both offers are in the same state although my preferred offer is a bit far from where I live but it is still a reasonable location to commute everyday. At one point he told me, I was too ambitious and I took it as a compliment.

I noticed he changed since then, he informed the company management that I was leaving and we began the handover process, I noticed he changed after we had the discussion about me accepting the second offer but I thought it was about him missing me. May 31 was my last day and I noticed few days to my last day he was acting strange so I asked him what the matter was. He said he doesn't feel anything for me and we should stop seeing each other.

This is a man that was really excited when we were dating, all of a sudden doesn't feel anything for me because I got a high paying job? Is it wrong for a woman to be ambitious? When has it become a crime for a woman to aim high in her career? My role will still be to support him. I have never been rude to him and I am not going to be rude to him because we now earn the same salary. I really like him and I feel disappointed that he could act this way.

Is it now a crime for a woman to be ambitious?

Hmm. What money can not destroy doesn't exist !


It's not about a woman being ambitious. Those good lifestyle everyone dreams to give their kids needs money. A good amount of women who leave financial offers to cater for marriage exclusively have regrets that spans into a decade some time more.



Yes, most men believe and would like a woman to retire and attend to the home needs exclusively.


These concerns are to be mutually discussed and agreed to. However a lady should have good backup, either created by herself or the guy in question. Why? Many fell out of love after a while, and you need a solid plan to get back to should things fall apart in the future.


Just as he believes your lack of long-term loyalty depends on being fully dependent on him is also why you should also have a dependence mechanism in this case, robust financial portfolio for your own long-term safety. Both parties must have mutually created safety measures to provide safety support should things go south.


With all these said, you haven't met your true husband you will spend the rest of your life with. This one has only been taking space.


He will come back, but by then, make sure he doesn't meet you where he left you. Take very good care of yourself. Beautify yourself. Go out, meet people, and who knows, life may connect you with someone that doesn't mind being with you inspite of your dreams. To me personally,any relationship that places demand on my dreams is not up for negotiation.



Run away from people who feel and believe their happiness is dependent on your unhappiness. That's low-level wizardry

Dont mind him he's got complex issues. Let him deal with it and get over himself.

Don't ever lose your selfworth or any great opportunity coming your way because of a man. Men are not loyal and if you dance to his tune now just because of marriage, he'll want to dominate you in that marriage and prevent you from becoming successful so you won't measure up to
him in life. That way, he can keep you as his puppet to be at his mercy forever; under his control.

He may even end up not marrying you and by then you'll have lost a one time opportunity.

Your career is your life after God. Hold on to it, let him get lost! Men are not worth sacrificing anything for. You'll only end up in regrets.

Any man with such mentality is a disaster waiting to happen and is not worth having around.

That's bad of him, he's just getting jealous.
I don't see any reason why he wants to prevent you from taking the offer if he truly loves you.

Maybe he's thinking that he won't be able to control you as most men want someone submissive

I would have said to hear his side of the story before passing judgement.

However, if it is indeed as you have narrated here, I wonder what it is you are disappointed in when it is clear as day that you are dodging a missile here.

Dude is clearly a narcissist and isn't hiding this fact one bit.

This kind envy and jealousy na witchcraft own...

He doesn't deserve you....

Keep moving sis. Some people are too small to fit into your future. No matter how you try, you won't succeed in carrying them along. They will only be happy seeing you down.

God just showed you a big sign


If you like form stevie wonder


Never ever date a nigerian man all they wanna do is enslave you. Mentally physically spiritually emotionally and financially
Please break free from that shackle of a thing called relationship

Candidlady:
God just showed you a big sign


If you like form stevie wonder

Once she shifts her ground agrees and gets into marriage, slavery starts inside the prison he wants to trap her. Such men fake happiness and excitement at the start, keeping their true behavior saving it for the marriage when true color becomes revealed

julie90:
I noticed he changed since then, he informed the company management that I was leaving and we began the handover process, I noticed he changed after we had the discussion about me accepting the second offer but I thought it was about him missing me. May 31 was my last day and I noticed few days to my last day he was acting strange so I asked him what the matter was. He said he doesn't feel anything for me and we should stop seeing each other.

1. This is a man that was really excited when we were dating, all of a sudden doesn't feel anything for me because I got a high paying job?

2. Is it wrong for a woman to be ambitious?

3. When has it become a crime for a woman to aim high in her career?

4. My role will still be to support him. I have never been rude to him and I am not going to be rude to him because we now earn the same salary. I really like him and I feel disappointed that he could act this way.

▪︎ Is it now a crime for a woman to be ambitious?

1. Stop dating men with low self-esteem issues.

2. So what if he thinks it is wrong for a woman to be ambitious? Are you so going to end your ambitions for his sake? Do you think so low of yourself as an individual?,

3. Why do you care what anyone else thinks of you as a woman aiming high in your career?

4. Look! You dodged a bullet. Be happy!

I understand you are may be heartbroken, but the truth is you were dating an immature boy, who had no desire to see you flourish in life is what. Thankfully, he pulled himself out of the run. Now you know what you know to avoid in a next partner.

Khoielvis:




Once she shifts her ground agrees and gets into marriage, slavery starts inside the prison he wants to trap her. Such men fake happiness and excitement at the start, keeping their true behavior saving it for the marriage when true color becomes revealed

They are vipers

Trust any naija man at your own peril

Candidlady:


They are vipers

Trust any naija man at your own peril

Pls don't be like that little boy on here who generalise women..you are more than that aiit...
Thanks for understanding..

Candidlady:


They are vipers

Trust any naija man at your own peril

Hahaha. Not all. Any ways her approach to dating may be the issue. Jumping into exclusive dating with eyes on marriage direct may leave on disappointed. That's why at times people should not date exclusively. But sample between people and then choose the best fit.

FERNANDEZISBACK:

Pls don't be like that little boy on here who generalise women..you are more than that aiit...
Thanks for understanding..

Okay
Most 9ja men are vipers
Fair enough?

Khoielvis:



Hahaha. Not all. Any ways her approach to dating may be the issue. Jumping into exclusive dating with eyes on marriage direct may leave on disappointed. That's why at times people should not date exclusively. But sample between people and then choose the best fit.

Kindly explain the bolded

Candidlady:



Kindly explain the bolded

When you start to date, do not date exclusively so you don't self assume that you met your soulmate just like that.

Start by dating inexclusively with up to 3 person's. Then discuss such issues early and watch each person's response and attitude during t hose discussions. Their response will reveal the best fit.

I've come to realize that in relationships, most people who come into our lives only come to waste time and take space. At the same time, hinder us from meeting more meaningful person's.


The same lady above would have ignored better person's while sticking with this only to meet this disappointment. Because from the onset, he was never the one, but a time waster


To move fast in thesedays where time is scarce, we must quickly identify people who only want to take space and waste our time and cut them off

Damnnn!!!! It’s not a Crime but Apparently, Some men do not like it when their wives or Gf got a job paying higher than his. It’s about respect of choice. Same way, if definitely you’ve had the opportunity to use iPhone 13 and your boyfriend still uses 7+, and u decided to settle for 6+ or 6s+ , it’s not that you’re stupid or some, but you just chose respect over your relationship....


Damnnnn!!! I feel his feelings

julie90:
I have been working for this company for two years. In December 2021, there was a change in management, a new manager was assigned to my Department. Before the change in management, I applied for some jobs in November 2021 but I didn't get any response.

Things between my new manager and I developed really quickly (he is not married and he is 10 years older than me). Although we have been working together, when he became the new manager we started dating. it was mutual, it wasn't like he forced me. We liked each other and we started dating in March 2022. We kept things professional in the office. Nobody in the office knows about this even till now.

Those companies I applied to in November 2021 reached out to me for an interview. I got two offers at the same time. Both offers come with great pay (similar to what my boyfriend currently earns) and a significant boost to my career. I spoke to my boyfriend about it and being my boss he told me to reject both offers, he told me he would be able to cater for my needs that the only commitment he has now is paying for his house and once he is done paying for it, he would have more money to take care of me and I didn't need a job where they would pay me what he's currently earning and be in a role similar to his.

I told him it's not the money but it would be about moving up the ladder in my career. These are offers people do not have, now I have two, he is asking me to reject them. He told me even if I have to move the only offer I should take is the one close to the company where we work which has a lower pay compared to the second offer. I told him I would go with the second offer which has more opportunities for me. Both offers are in the same state although my preferred offer is a bit far from where I live but it is still a reasonable location to commute everyday. At one point he told me, I was too ambitious and I took it as a compliment.

I noticed he changed since then, he informed the company management that I was leaving and we began the handover process, I noticed he changed after we had the discussion about me accepting the second offer but I thought it was about him missing me. May 31 was my last day and I noticed few days to my last day he was acting strange so I asked him what the matter was. He said he doesn't feel anything for me and we should stop seeing each other.

This is a man that was really excited when we were dating, all of a sudden doesn't feel anything for me because I got a high paying job? Is it wrong for a woman to be ambitious? When has it become a crime for a woman to aim high in her career? My role will still be to support him. I have never been rude to him and I am not going to be rude to him because we now earn the same salary. I really like him and I feel disappointed that he could act this way.

Is it now a crime for a woman to be ambitious?

I no go break up with you
Come to me Mamacita

Khoielvis:



When you start to date, do not date exclusively so you don't self assume that you met your soulmate just like that. Start by dating inexclusively with up to 3 person's. Then discuss such issues early and watch each person's response and attitude during t hose discussions. Their response will reveal the best fit

More like having 3 lab rats. Now this is new

Candidlady:



More like having 3 lab rats. Now this is new

New ke. You'll say you don't know or apply this approach. Many ladies in the 23-28 age gap have multiples, or are advised to see multiple person's before fully settling for an exclusive relationship. There's no sin in it. Unless one is fully sure of their partner from the onset, that's when an inexclusive relationship is to be frowned at

Khoielvis:




New ke. You'll say you don't know or apply this approach. Many ladies in the 23-28 age gap have multiples, or are advised to see multiple person's before fully settling for an exclusive relationship. There's no sin in it. Unless one is fully sure of their partner from the onset, that's when an inexclusive relationship is to be frowned at

While having this INEXCLUSIVE relationships with the MULTIPLE lab rats are they allowed to get intimate with em ?

Khoielvis:
1. When you start to date, do not date exclusively so you don't self assume that you met your soulmate just like that. Start by dating inexclusively with up to 3 person's.

2. Then discuss such issues early and watch each person's response and attitude during t hose discussions. Their response will reveal the best fit. I've come to realize that in relationships,

3. most people who come into our lives only come to waste time and take space. At the same time, hinder us from meeting more meaningful person's. The same lady above would have ignored better person's while sticking with this only to meet this disappointment. Because from the onset, he was never the one, but a time waster

You mean your current girlfriend has several other boyfriends and you are ok with it?

2. Does you also discuss with her the fact that you are also seeing other people at the same time?

3. If she had come on here to tell of how one of her many boyfriends had abandoned her, are you telling us, you wouldn't be among those who would have immediately cast her as a wh0re?

Candidlady:


While having this INEXCLUSIVE relationships with the MULTIPLE lab rats are they allowed to get intimate with em ?

No na. Intimacy doesn't take place at the shallow levels. Just talk and talks and finding the right fit. Dating is now a mess anyways and many won't marry in this generation no matter how society spins it. Why? Many know that inexclusive dating reserves a part and wants intimacy, to initiate true committment. And when this committment starts, it almost triggers the idea of I've captured you irrespective of how bad I treat you, which makes it difficult to move on when the partner is bad


In anyways, intimacy shouldn't occur in shallow waters and financial compatibility discussions must take place thesedays at almost the very start of relationships, not wait for when situations bring them up

Kobojunkie:
You mean your current girlfriend has several other boyfriends and you are ok with it?

2. Does you also discuss with her the fact that you are also seeing other people at the same time?

3. If she had come on here to tell of how one of her many boyfriends had abandoned her, are you telling us, you wouldn't be among those who would have immediately cast her as a wh0re?

Khoielvis

I agree with him. It isn't low self esteem or whatever a pained mind chooses to term it. It is doing what you feel is right. He has his reason for leaving you. There was no love between you both in the first place. It was just casual dating which I personally deem to have no value.

I personally cannot marry a more ambitious lady because I know what marriage entails and that different minds cannot run a home successfully. Either she unites with me exclusively and follow my lead as a real woman should or she moves on. Else, why do we term ourselves as one body?

We all make decisions based on what we know and what we feel. He knows why he left you and no one here has the right to criticize him on that, besides I'm certain a lot who are criticising him here are the actual failures in the real world, hence the bitterness.

Candidlady:


Khoielvis

Na. I don't do anything with that dude. What I'll say is the only way to date inexclusively for me is of these discussions take place from the start. I make sure I have these discussions within days of asking any lady out by the way. So, I don't stay long in unhealthy relationship no matter the qualities the other party may have. Some issues are unrepairable and we must not assume ourselves responsible for them

Me that it is ambitious lady I wan marry before. Shey you go marry me? How much is your bride price?


To the topic; it's obvious he doesn't want your progress. Husband material full ground, it's just for you to decide if its Ankara you want, or lace material, but choose wisely Darling. It is well with you

julie90:
I have been working for this company for two years. In December 2021, there was a change in management, a new manager was assigned to my Department. Before the change in management, I applied for some jobs in November 2021 but I didn't get any response.

Things between my new manager and I developed really quickly (he is not married and he is 10 years older than me). Although we have been working together, when he became the new manager we started dating. it was mutual, it wasn't like he forced me. We liked each other and we started dating in March 2022. We kept things professional in the office. Nobody in the office knows about this even till now.

Those companies I applied to in November 2021 reached out to me for an interview. I got two offers at the same time. Both offers come with great pay (similar to what my boyfriend currently earns) and a significant boost to my career. I spoke to my boyfriend about it and being my boss he told me to reject both offers, he told me he would be able to cater for my needs that the only commitment he has now is paying for his house and once he is done paying for it, he would have more money to take care of me and I didn't need a job where they would pay me what he's currently earning and be in a role similar to his.

I told him it's not the money but it would be about moving up the ladder in my career. These are offers people do not have, now I have two, he is asking me to reject them. He told me even if I have to move the only offer I should take is the one close to the company where we work which has a lower pay compared to the second offer. I told him I would go with the second offer which has more opportunities for me. Both offers are in the same state although my preferred offer is a bit far from where I live but it is still a reasonable location to commute everyday. At one point he told me, I was too ambitious and I took it as a compliment.

I noticed he changed since then, he informed the company management that I was leaving and we began the handover process, I noticed he changed after we had the discussion about me accepting the second offer but I thought it was about him missing me. May 31 was my last day and I noticed few days to my last day he was acting strange so I asked him what the matter was. He said he doesn't feel anything for me and we should stop seeing each other.

This is a man that was really excited when we were dating, all of a sudden doesn't feel anything for me because I got a high paying job? Is it wrong for a woman to be ambitious? When has it become a crime for a woman to aim high in her career? My role will still be to support him. I have never been rude to him and I am not going to be rude to him because we now earn the same salary. I really like him and I feel disappointed that he could act this way.

Is it now a crime for a woman to be ambitious?

T

Aunty, a man with such insecurities doesn't deserve you, move on

1gb @270
Check my siggy

Thanks for your kind words...

Khoielvis:
Hmm. What money can not destroy doesn't exist !


It's not about a woman being ambitious. Those good lifestyle everyone dreams to give their kids needs money. A good amount of women who leave financial offers to cater for marriage exclusively have regrets that spans into a decade some time more.



Yes, most men believe and would like a woman to retire and attend to the home needs exclusively.


These concerns are to be mutually discussed and agreed to. However a lady should have good backup, either created by herself or the guy in question. Why? Many fell out of love after a while, and you need a solid plan to get back to should things fall apart in the future.


Just as he believes your lack of long-term loyalty depends on being fully dependent on him is also why you should also have a dependence mechanism in this case, robust financial portfolio for your own long-term safety. Both parties must have mutually created safety measures to provide safety support should things go south.


With all these said, you haven't met your true husband you will spend the rest of your life with. This one has only been taking space.


He will come back, but by then, make sure he doesn't meet you where he left you. Take very good care of yourself. Beautify yourself. Go out, meet people, and who knows, life may connect you with someone that doesn't mind being with you inspite of your dreams. To me personally,any relationship that places demand on my dreams is not up for negotiation.



Run away from people who feel and believe their happiness is dependent on your unhappiness. That's low-level wizardry

Lol.... thanks for your kind words and yes, my bride price is very expensive

jogsman01:
Me that it is ambitious lady I wan marry before. Shey you go marry me? How much is your bride price?


To the topic; it's obvious he doesn't want your progress. Husband material full ground, it's just for you to decide if its Ankara you want, or lace material, but choose wisely Darling. It is well with you

This calls for celebration.

It's unfortunate that I don't have the right words for you right now...

Mikester:
I agree with him. It isn't low self esteem or whatever a pained mind chooses to term it. It is doing what you feel is right. He has his reason for leaving you. There was no love between you both in the first place. It was just casual dating which I personally deem to have no value.

I personally cannot marry a more ambitious lady because I know what marriage entails and that different minds cannot run a home successfully. Either she unites with me exclusively and follow my lead as a real woman should or she moves on. Else, why do we term ourselves as one body?

We all make decisions based on what we know and what we feel. He knows why he left you and no one here has the right to criticize him on that, besides I'm certain a lot who are criticising him here are the actual failures in the real world, hence the bitterness.