I still don't get.. Are men built to work and not enjoy?

My first instance: A very popular nairalander loves to show her kids all time which is not bad but she doesn't even mention her husband.....
What baffles me most is this statement; "my money is for me and my kids"...

Does it Mean a wife cannot even treat her husband well too?

I guess this is the main reason some men ignore their wife and kids to enjoy their lives... They know that most kids grow to love their mother..

I don't blame such men.... But I don't hope to have such a wife that have the mentality of my kids and I ALONE?


2ndly, I feel most women are not happy in their marriage which is why all they live for is their kids.. The only reason why most ladies are still under the same roof is because of the kids and their lack of financial resources to stand alone... Most are just having sex, doing mommy and daddy bcoz of the kids but the true essence of marriage between has long dissappeared...

If not, in my own perception, a happily married woman should be proud of her husband. She should happily treat her husband well. She should say wonderful things about her husband.

Marriage dey fear me walahi....

A lot changes occur in a woman after child birth both physically and mentally.
Women need to be incredibly appreciated for child birth.
The bond between a mother and her child is beyond a man's understanding.

A Man shouldn't be bothered cos Ur woman loves you dearly don't be jealous.

Her Choice not to mention or display her husband.. prolly for privacy reason..she rarely show her face too..
That doesn't mean she despise her husband tho..he might be a nairalander and not ok with it..learn to think and stop calling people out in a rude manner..

You don't even have no business with her family..she didn't make a complaint to you...what's the fuss all about huh?this is her account not her husband's..or you expect her to tell ya about her husband and all?

Talking about mentioning her husband..shve done that on some of her post..so chill and stop whining around..

Ok

FERNANDEZISBACK:
Her Choice not to mention or display her husband.. prolly for privacy reason..she rarely show her face too..
That doesn't mean she despise her husband tho..he might be a nairalander and not ok with it..learn to think and stop calling people out in a rude manner..

If you had sense, you would know that this is not Abt calling people out...

This is abt what's happening in most marriages..... We are just seeing it here openly but it happens in most.....

And what is rude abt talking abt marital issues

samuel051:
I am married, what op said is the truth, my wife only recognize my presence when she knows I have money to throw around in the house, mind you she works too but I provide everything for her and the baby, I don't do side chick because it's an expenses and would eventually cause issues later. Are you saying I don't have right to be loved or I'm just there to meet their material and financial needs, mind you the days I'm home, I go to the market, do laundry and basically almost everything at home because I know its not easy coping with the baby and work from 8am to 6pm.. what have you got to say about this because it's beginning to give me the ideals of seeking comfort where I will be appreciated.

Nb: when she comes, she just bath baby, eat, press phone and doze off till the next day.. I have complained and just accepted my fate and just do the financial needs, go out to meet friends and just come home to sleep.

almost all men face this

joe54:

A lot changes occur in a woman after child birth both physically and mentally.
Women need to be incredibly appreciated for child birth.
The bond between a mother and her child is beyond a man's understanding.

A Man shouldn't be bothered cos Ur woman loves you dearly don't be jealous.

Oboy I am bother... There is no way jealously wunt set in..

Some men have vow to. Enjoy their lives irrespective of how their family are.... Bcox most bliv the kids are more wired to their mother than the father even after all..

As a man, e no easy and to top it all...

My husband money is for us while my money is for my children and I alone..



happney69


wow i never knew this post would make front page

Anytime i decide to put tribalism apart, my post is always on fire

SHun tribalism No to tribalism

DenreleDave:


If you had sense, you would know that this is not Abt calling people out...

This is abt what's happening in most marriages..... We are just seeing it here openly but it happens in most.....

And what is rude abt talking abt marital issues

Keep quiet...what's your headache about her marriage..or does your mum mention your dad on social media..must she talk about him huh?how is that beneficial to you?

Talking about Marital issue is not wrong but tagging a lady and talking nonsense is wrong..were you not taught to respect people's marriage..?
Her choice not to mention him for whatsoever reason..you can locate her husband if you are too concerned.. nonsense.

FERNANDEZISBACK:

Keep quiet...what's your headache about her marriage..or does your mum mention your dad on social media..must she talk about him huh?how is that beneficial to you?

Talking about Marital issue is not wrong but tagging a lady and talking nonsense is wrong..were you not taught to respect people's marriage..?
Her choice not to mention him for whatsoever reason..you can locate her husband if you are too concerned.. nonsense.

Swerve... Herma

olasaad:
I think Infidelity is one of the reasons this happened in most marriages. The moment your wife suspect you of having extra marital affair she will definitely change and the love and affection you are getting from her before will authomatically move to her children.

What if the husband isn't extra martial affairs..?

The truth is women are attached to their kids.. The husband take little or no care but the kids get all the attention.....

I still think lack of attention is what made some men look further so that they can be happy... Men love being given attention too even though it's little...

DenreleDave:



Swerve... Herma

Now slide off and learn to think with your head not ya fingers..

All is well

I think Infidelity is one of the reasons this happened in most marriages. The moment your wife suspect you of having extra marital affair she will definitely change and the love and affection you are getting from her before will authomatically move to her children.

@ ahnie come ooo..

na your matter de Carry come this morning

money121:
All is well

Ceo... The matter no shock you?

DenreleDave:
I still don't get.. Are men built to work and not enjoy?

My first instance: A very popular nairalander loves to show her kids all time which is not bad but she doesn't even mention her husband.....
What baffles me most is this statement; "my money is for me and my kids"...

Does it Mean a wife cannot even treat her husband well too?

I guess this is the main reason some men ignores their wife and kids to enjoy their lives... They know that most kids grow to love their mother..

I don't blame such men.... But I don't hope to have such a wife that have the mentality of my kids and I ALONE?


2ndly, I feel most women are not happy in their marriage which is why all they live for is their kids.. The only reason why most ladies are still under the same roof is because of the kids and their lack of financial resources to stand alone... Most are just having sex, doing mommy and daddy bcoz of the kids but the true essence of marriage between has long dissappeared...

If not, in my own perception, a happily married woman should be proud of her husband. She should happily treat her husband well. She should say wonderful things about her husband.

Marriage dey fear me walahi....


Cc: happney

.....I got you bro but that shouldn't bother you.

The most important thing for you to do as a man in your marriage is for you to try and make your kids always want to be with you.

Just like a woman hanged out with her kids yesterday without her husband does not mean they are having marriage issues.

I did hang out with my kids yesterday in ShopRite and Spa without my wife and she doesn't see anything wrong with that.

You should also understand that we men are mostly not around so try and make very good use of any little opportunity you have with your kids very memorable.

Guy man. Lol.

Next time strive to avoid a hasty generalization and use the word "some" because not all families lack unity and love.

Besides, literally, in the direction you're going, it's men that ought to be pampering women and children to avoid pandering to them.

Don't take social media seriously at Denreledave, the man may not be the picture type, she could be a very supportive wife too, I'm not defending her though.

JONNYSPUTE:
.....I got you bro but that shouldn't bother you.

The most important thing for you to do as a man in your marriage is for you to try and make your kids always want to be with you.

Just like a woman hanged out with her kids yesterday without her husband does not mean they are having marriage issues.

I did hang out with my kids yesterday in ShopRite and Spa without my wife and she doesn't see anything wrong with that.

You should also understand that we men are mostly not around so try and make very good use of any little opportunity you have with your kids very memorable.

Guy man. Lol.

I understand you but I don't understand the concept of my Money is for me and my kids.....

It's called a family...... Where all things are for all..

Hanging out or not is not an issue.... But the truth still remains that most wives give less priority to their husband after birthing kids

Oizee:
Don't take social media seriously at Ddave, the man may not be the picture type, she could be a very supportive wife too, I'm not defending her though.

I am definitely not the picture type too and I am not the outing type also.... But I am still not in support of the narrative "my money is for me and my kids"...

Men are struggling too and we need love.... Even the most little love is sumtin...

RightToReject:
Next time strive to avoid a hasty generalization and use the word "some" because not all families lack unity and love.

Besides, literally, in the direction you're going, it's men that ought to be pampering women and children to avoid pandering to them.

In the direction u r going, they should pamper each other.... It is called a family.... It's everyone business in the family

DenreleDave:



I understand you but I don't understand the concept of my Money is for me and my kids.....

It's called a family...... Where all things are for all..

Hanging out or not is not an issue.... But the truth still remains that most wives give less priority to their husband after birthing kids

....Note that not everyone has the right understanding of exactly what coming together of two different people to become one means.Hence the wrong attitude of saying her money is for she and her kids.

If we men starts having such mindset then there wouldn't be anything like marriage.

So I agree with you that women do that alot and it isn't fine.

JONNYSPUTE:
....Note that not everyone has the right understanding of exactly what coming together of two different people to become one means.Hence the wrong attitude of saying her money is for her and her kids.

If we men starts having such mindset then there wouldn't be anything like marriage.

So I agree with you that women do that alot and it isn't fine.

Thank u for the bolded.. My point exactly....

DenreleDave:



Swerve... Herma



What if the husband isn't extra martial affairs..?

The truth is women are attached to their kids.. The husband take little or no care but the kids get all the attention.....

I still think lack of attention is what made some men look further so that they can be happy... Men love being given attention too even though it's little...

The possibility is less in most cases

DenreleDave:


Thank u for the bolded.. My point exactly....

.... Uwc. Don't take most of these things they say to heart.

Most times, social media make us say lots of nonsense.

DenreleDave:


Oboy I am bother... There is no way jealously wunt set in..

Some men have vow to. Enjoy their lives irrespective of how their family are.... Bcox most bliv the kids are more wired to their mother than the father even after all..

As a man, e no easy and to top it all...

My husband money is for us while my money is for my children and I alone..

don't be jealous, we can't remain the same when the kids start coming, it's nature, my own prayer is that, it shouldn't get to an extent that its obvious to my hubby, I could remember one occasion like that, he was about eating and I brought a washing hand bowl to him, suddenly my baby started crying we both rush to the room to carry him bcuz the way the baby screamed was unusual....after calming the baby, my husband returned to the sitting room, I on my part totally forgot I was about serving him before the incidence until he started complaining that I have stopped giving him attention since the arrival of our baby, that day I felt somehow bcuz he pointed out things that I used to do before that I no longer do.
Every men should learn to b patience, it's just a phase and it will pass.
She might just be catching cruise with my money is for me and my kids alone.
If u want to bond with ur kids, do what mothers do, be there for them physically, don't just have a monetary connection with them. If u give a woman money for house keeping expenses and, out of the money she buys somtin special for the kids, they will celebrate mommy's effort and not urs, learn to be flexible with them, why do u think female children are more attached to there daddy? Because daddy see and treat them like princesses and handle the boys with iron hand

Oizee:
don't be jealous, we can't remain the same when the kids start coming, it's nature, my own prayer is that, it shouldn't get to an extent that its obvious to my hubby, I could remember one occasion like that, he was about eating and I brought a washing hand bowl to him, suddenly my baby started crying we both rush to the room to carry him bcuz the way the baby screamed was unusual....after calming the baby, my husband returned to the sitting room, I on my part totally forgot I was about serving him before the incidence until he started complaining that I have stopped giving him attention since the arrival of our baby, that day I felt somehow bcuz he pointed out things that I used to do before that I no longer do.
Every men should learn to b patience, it's just a phase and it will pass.
She might just be catching cruise with my money is for me and my kids alone.
If u want to bond with ur kids, do what mothers do, be there for them physically, don't just have a monetary connection with them. If u give a woman money for house keeping expenses and, out of the money she buys somtin special for the kids, they will celebrate mommy's effort and not urs, learn to be flexible with them, why do u think female children are more attached to there daddy? Because daddy see and treat them like princesses and handle the boys with iron hand

1stly i disagree with the point, its a phase.... it is not, it is a perpetual habit......

2ndly, no cruise in my money is not our money but your money is our money

cmon we know these things happens to well to be called a cruise.. it is reality

DenreleDave:
I still don't get.. Are men built to work and not enjoy?

My first instance: A very popular nairalander loves to show her kids all time which is not bad but she doesn't even mention her husband.....
What baffles me most is this statement; "my money is for me and my kids"...

Does it Mean a wife cannot even treat her husband well too?

I guess this is the main reason some men ignores their wife and kids to enjoy their lives... They know that most kids grow to love their mother..

I don't blame such men.... But I don't hope to have such a wife that have the mentality of my kids and I ALONE?


2ndly, I feel most women are not happy in their marriage which is why all they live for is their kids.. The only reason why most ladies are still under the same roof is because of the kids and their lack of financial resources to stand alone... Most are just having sex, doing mommy and daddy bcoz of the kids but the true essence of marriage between has long dissappeared...

If not, in my own perception, a happily married woman should be proud of her husband. She should happily treat her husband well. She should say wonderful things about her husband.

Marriage dey fear me walahi....


Cc: happney

Ooh you mean Ahnie ba?

This one na question too....
What's the essence of second and third wife?

HarunaWest:
Ooh you mean nie ba?

no mention anyone oo

one of the reasons why men marry many indulge in extra marital affair is the lack of care from his wife

MALIGNANTGuest:
This one na question too....
What's the essence of second and third wife?

About the nairalander youre referring to, the man prolly doesn't care for/about her that's why he's always outta the picture.

From her posts, it looks like the man is not doing anything cos of the way she goes about her hustle like someone who's got no support from her spouse. So how do you now expect her to share the proceedings with him by treating him to a nice outing?

A woman will always naturally reciprocate if her hubby is the supporting type.

I would treat my man to special dates if I enjoy same luxury from him too.
It goes both ways.

leave the particular nairalander aside.

i am talking abt a general issue now...

if it is like this, then we should not blame men who have side chicks

pozehnani:
About the nairalander youre referring to, the man prolly doesn't care for/about her that's why he's always outta the picture.

From her posts, it looks like the man is not doing anything cos of the way she goes about her hustle like someone who's got no support from her spouse. So how do you now expect her to share the proceedings with him by treating him to a nice outing?

A woman will always naturally reciprocate if her hubby is the supporting type.

I would treat my man to special dates if I enjoy same luxury from him too.
It goes both ways.

DenreleDave:
leave the particular nairalander aside.

i am talking abt a general issue now...

if it is like this, then we should not blame men who have side chicks

Nope I won't leave her out cos I'm using her as a case study here for you to judge the general issue and Know why it's like that.

It's a lie. Men have side chick because it's in their nature to cheat and not because their spouse didn't give them a treat. Don't try to justify that act.

Ready100:
@ ahnie come ooo..
@DenreleDave
na your matter de Carry come this morning

He's obsessed with me.....I don't have attention to give to him,I think he's jobless becox if he isn't,he would not carry my matter like bone straight.

Able bodied men I know invest their energies in making their lives better...like I said before,I owe him no damn explanation and he would never get my attention.


It beats my imagination...on a Monday morning like this ... you're suppose to be at work or think of what to better your life,you just dey carry my matter for head.

You're pained that I didn't join my husband in the fun....your coconut brain no be you reason welda he dey around or not or hates public places.

You go just dey open mouth waaa waaa dey talk anyhow.continue monitoring my every moves .