Please house, I use God almighty to beg una. I need urgent and sincere advice here please. Because I might make a terrible decision soon.

I've a family of 3kids, the eldest is 5 and the youngest will be 2 next month. My wife's younger sister lives with us.
One the first of this month, I gave my wife 80k for for food in the house. Please take note, that that money does not include provisions, like milk and milo and drinking water. At the end of every month, I spend about 30k stocking the house with all the provisions and things like all the soap we are gonna need for the month. In addition to this, I am responsible for making sure that a bag of rice is always available at all times. And also most days I don't eat breakfast before leaving the house. So I end up eating just dinner at home.
My wife just told my this morning that the feeding money is exhausted

Please I want advise, I use God beg una

Edited! Note that in addition to all this, I buy bread for the house every 2days because my kids take tea as breakfast every morning. I also give my wife's sister 10k every month for her recharge car. And some weekends I buy things like chicken, fish and turkey just to augment and make the family happy. Daily I spend on average 1k buying fruits for house. Yet 80k is not enough

Firstly, discard her sister from your home.


Your wife seems not to be prudent with your resources because she doesn't know what it takes to make money in this Buhari administration. When was the last time she contribute 5K for the family?

A woman who lacks money management can't manage your home.

JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH

It depends on the standard you started with them oo.
But if I'm to say,it should suffice very well but it all depends on your wife's mgt ability ,your location ,how many obstructions you always want in your food,her dependents if she's not working and also not getting personal allowance from you.
Things are really costly so speak with her to understand what's going on.

Have you tried to find out what exactly she usually bought with the 80k and why the money is not enough for now. Don't be surprised she might not be spending upto that 80

nifemi25:
Have you tried to find out what exactly she usually bought with the 80k and why the money is not enough for now. Don't be surprised she might not be spending upto that 80

Lower your voice, comrade

This is what I learnt from my MIL.

Foodstuff like Rice, beans, semi, garri, poundo yam, spaghetti, noodles, seasoning cubes, salt and wheat should be bought in bulk and will last up to six months.

For your household, provisions like the snacks your kids will take to school should also be bought in bulk cause those consume a lot of money if you're buying it everyday.

This way, it's only weekly money for soup that you will be giving her. And even at that, 20k weekly is more than sufficient.

LadySarah:
It depends on the standard you started with them oo.
But if I'm to say,it should suffice very well but it all depends on your wife's mgt ability and your location
Things are really costly so speak with her to understand what's going on.

Obodo siri ike

My husband can never eat small meat. He will ask me if we are poor.

The least I spend on meat weekly is 5k. Cooking stew now that tomatoes has become expensive, that's like 1500, other soups dey, drinking water, waste disposal, weekly housekeeping, breakfast dey inside.

I spend 15k weekly on all of this and we be just two.

It depends on the standard of life that they are living and tbh, things cost for market.
One lap of goat meat with abeg na 4500.

Your wife is doing 'Ajo'(Daily contribution)with half of the money.

LadySarah:
It depends on the standard you started with them oo.
But if I'm to say,it should suffice very well but it all depends on your wife's mgt ability and your location
Things are really costly so speak with her to understand what's going on.

Obodo siri ike

Thanks for this advice

prophetwis:
Your wife is doing 'Ajo'(Daily contribution)with half of the money.

On top how much abeg?

For a family of 5 people. Ask about their standard of living first before you conclude his wife is doing ajo.

If she's working or have a business, she should augment maker the man no die.

Oga let me tell you this before these man-hating misandrists will come here to confuse you.

Your wife is a spend-thrift.
It is obvious that your wife terribly lacks management skills.
I put it to you that even if you give her 100k monthly, it'll never be enough for her.

Believe me when I tell you that she is diverting part of that money.
With all you explained, if you are actually shouldering that much, then 80k should be more than enough, by far!!!

It is either she isn't managing the money well or more likely, she is diverting your money.
Know this and know peace.
Amy other contrary story somebody will tell you here is a blatant lie.

You wife is either mismanaging or misusing (looting) your money.

This is the problem with marrying selfish, narcissistic or jobless women.

Oga you get money oo, You should probably ask her to make a list of what she buys with the money so as for you to know how much is going to each items and you can also remove things that are not important.

Romanoff:


On top how much abeg?

For a family of 5 people. Ask about their standard of living first before you conclude his wife is doing ajo.

If she's working or have a business, she should augment maker the man no die.

Mumu how much is the average disposable income of the average family in Nigeria?
And you tell me that 80k isn't enough even when the man takes care of provisions, rice and other things.

Yet 80k isn't enough?

Don't be stupid and useless.

Even if the OP says he gives her wife 200k monthly, you'll still come here to justify how 200k isn't enough.

Curb your misandry, Ode.

satandeterrible:


Mumu how much is the average disposable income of the average family in Nigeria?
And you tell me that 80k isn't enough even when the man takes care of provisions, rice and other things.

Yet 80k isn't enough?

Don't be stupid and useless.

Even if the OP says he gives her wife 200k monthly, you'll still come here to justify how 200k isn't enough.

Curb your misandry, Ode.

You have to insult me to make a point?

Did I insult you when I made my comment?

satandeterrible:


Mumu how much is the average disposable income of the average family in Nigeria?
And you tell me that 80k isn't enough even when the man takes care of provisions, rice and other things.

Yet 80k isn't enough?

Don't be stupid and useless.

Even if the OP says he gives her wife 200k monthly, you'll still come here to justify how 200k isn't enough.

Curb your misandry, Ode.

Romanoff:


You have to insult me to make a point?

Did I insult you when I made my comment?

Your misandry and bias was so evident that it warranted an insult.

Sorry, but I'm not sorry.
You deserved it.

How can you tell a man who provides all the provisions, the rice and other heavy foodstuff for the house - Including even the toiletries and stuff - that his 80k monthly to his wife is not enough?
That is wicked stupidity on your part.

This man buys fruits, bread and other things at home too oo.
Yet you tell me that 80k is not enough for the wife to provide soup and other very minor stuff in the house for a month?

That is wickedness, bias, misandry and intense stupidity on your part.

satandeterrible:


Your misandry and bias was so evident that it warranted an insult.

Sorry, but I'm not sorry.
You deserved it.

How can you tell a man who provides all the provisions, the rice and other heavy foodstuff for the house - Including even the toiletries and stuff - that his 80k monthly to his wife is not enough?
That is wicked stupidity on your part.

This man buys fruits, bread and other things at home too oo.
Yet you tell me that 80k is not enough for the wife to provide soup and other very minor stuff in the house for a month?

That is wickedness, bias, misandry and intense stupidity on your part.

I'm so sorry for you.

So all you could do was throw the wife under the bus and assume she's doing ajo.

If I'm a misandrist, what does that make you?

What have I said that would make you insult me in such manner?

I spoke based on my experience with rising cost of food stuff and if you feel differently, there are ways you could have intelligently made your point but you chose the gutter route.

What if the woman is innocent of what you accused her?

Can you change how you made the husband disbelieve and mistrust his wife?

All people like you do is cause issues between married couples when they foolishly bring their marital issues here.

I could have stooped to your level but i was raised better,plus, not today. Adios.

Romanoff:


I'm so sorry for you.

So all you could do was throw the wife under the bus and assume she's doing ajo.

If I'm a misandrist, what does that make you?

What have I said that would make you insult me in such manner?

I spoke based on my experience with rising cost of food stuff and if you feel differently, there are ways you could have intelligently made your point but you chose the gutter route.

What if the woman is innocent of what you accused her?

Can you change how you made the husband disbelieve and mistrust his wife?

All people like you do is cause issues between married couples when they foolishly bring their marital issues here.

I could have stooped to your level but i was raised better,plus, not today. Adios.

Sometimes, I wonder where women like you learn the craft of masterfully claiming victims in all situations and at all times.

You were the first person to put false ideas into the man's head that he was not doing enough.
This is a man providing almost everything in the house and at the same time giving a whopping sum of 80k to the wife.
Yet you imply him he is not man enough.
Can he ever do enough for your types? If he doesn't die, you'll always want to him to go above and behind his limit to provide what is above his disposable income.

How else will he find out the root cause of the problem other than discreetly investigating.
Scratch that. The inference is too lucid for extra investigations. I repeat, his wife is either misnanaging those funds or she is misusing (looting) it.
I shudder at the fact that a very unlucky, extremely unfortunate man will marry your type and live with eternal nagging and being told to 'step up' the rest of their miserable lives.

satandeterrible:

Sometimes, I wonder where women like you learn the craft of masterfully claiming victims in all situations and at all times.

You were the first person to put false ideas into the man's head that he was not doing enough.
This is a man providing almost everything in the house and at the same time giving a whopping sum of 80k to the wife.
Yet you imply him he is not man enough.
Can he ever do enough for your types? If he doesn't die, you'll always want to him to go above and behind his limit to provide what is above his disposable income.

How else will he find out the root cause of the problem other than discreetly investigating.
Scratch that. The inference is too lucid for extra investigations. I repeat, his wife is either misnanaging those funds or she is misusing (looting) it.
I shudder at the fact that a very unlucky, extremely unfortunate man will marry your type and live with eternal nagging and being told to 'step up' the rest of their miserable lives.

.

You obviously misunderstood all if my comments.

Sigh.

Did you read where I said their standard of living could also be a factor and I used myself as an example?

I know someone who gets 5k daily for feeding. Can I compare my family to hers?

Of course not, their own standard of living is way above mine.

Please, take your time to go through my comments again without so much anger and try to understand where I'm coming from.

If you still feel the same way you feel about my comments, don't bother mentioning me.

I'll take it that you stand by what you think.

Try not to be so rash, it makes you come off as angry, frustrated and unreasonable and I don't want to believe you're these things.

NOETHNICITY:
My wife just told my this morning that the feeding money is exhausted
Please I want advise, I use God beg una

Edited! Note that in addition to all this, I buy bread for the house every 2days because my kids take tea as breakfast every morning. I also give my wife's sister 10k every month for her recharge car. And some weekends I buy things like chicken, fish and turkey just to augment and make the family happy. Daily I spend on average 1k buying fruits for house. Yet 80k is not enough

Stop asking absolute strangers these questions abeg! We don't live in your house with you to know exactly how much you each consume, and cannot know for sure how 80K can be stretched in the town and markets where you live so it isn't sensible to ask us such things.

Since it seems you carry all the financial load as far as food on your head in your home, sit with your wife and do the budgeting each month together so you can both know how much will work as far as feeding each day/week/month. If your intention is to micromanage her food spending, then tell her to give you a list so you purchase 100% of all that is needed yourself. Another idea is you follow her to market to buy everything together.

satandeterrible:
Oga let me tell you this before these man-hating misandrists will come here to confuse you.

Your wife is a spend-thrift.
It is obvious that your wife terribly lacks management skills.
I put it to you that even if you give her 100k monthly, it'll never be enough for her.

Believe me when I tell you that she is diverting part of that money.
With all you explained, if you are actually shouldering that much, then 80k should be more than enough, by far!!!

It is either she isn't managing the money well or more likely, she is diverting your money.
Know this and know peace.
Amy other contrary story somebody will tell you here is a blatant lie.

You wife is either mismanaging or misusing (looting) your money.

This is the problem with marrying selfish, narcissistic or jobless women.

Thank you bro. My very line of thinking actually.
However, I intend to inform her later today that beggining next month, I'll personally be buying everything we are going to be needing at home. I'll only ask her to prepare a weekly shopping list for me.

Romanoff:
This is what I learnt from my MIL.

Foodstuff like Rice, beans, semi, garri, poundo yam, spaghetti, noodles, seasoning cubes, salt and wheat should be bought in bulk and will last up to six months.

For your household, provisions like the snacks your kids will take to school should also be bought in bulk cause those consume a lot of money if you're buying it everyday.

This way, it's only weekly money for soup that you will be giving her. And even at that, 20k weekly is more than sufficient.

There are 4 weeks in a month. That’s still 80k.

OP, I did not see anything budgeted for your wife. She has needs too. Her hair, clothes, shoes, body lotion to look good for you. If you don’t give her, she might be left with no choice than to remove from the 80k to meet her needs. 80k is not a lot of money in these hard times.

Kobojunkie:
Stop asking absolute strangers these questions abeg! We don't live in your house with you to know exactly how much you each consume, and cannot know for sure how 80K can be stretched in the town and markets where you live so it isn't sensible to ask us such things.

\

Thank you sir.

satandeterrible:


Mumu how much is the average disposable income of the average family in Nigeria?
And you tell me that 80k isn't enough even when the man takes care of provisions, rice and other things.

Yet 80k isn't enough?

Bro, I swear to God I am just tired. What they mean is that even someone earning 200k is not qualified to get married and have family

NOETHNICITY:
Thank you bro. My very line of thinking actually.
However, I intend to inform her later today that beggining next month, I'll personally be buying everything we are going to be needing at home. I'll only ask her to prepare a weekly shopping list for me.

Sounds good enough. The bolded is always my own solution to all these chop money issues.

Sugargul:


There are 4 weeks in a month. That’s still 80k.

OP, I did not see anything budgeted for your wife. She has needs too. Her hair, clothes, shoes, body lotion to look good for you. If you don’t give her, she might be left with no choice than to remove from the 80k to meet her needs. 80k is not a lot of money in these hard times.

My dear sis,

It's why is very necessary for a woman to have her own money.

Make them no use you shine so that you sef fit get stake for your marriage.

NOETHNICITY:
Thank you bro. My very line of thinking actually.
However, I intend to inform her later today that beggining next month, I'll personally be buying everything we are going to be needing at home. I'll only ask her to prepare a weekly shopping list for me.

Please, do keep us updated on how you were able to manage the money so we can learn to be more prudent from you.

Romanoff:


I'm so sorry for you.

So all you could do was throw the wife under the bus and assume she's doing ajo.

If I'm a misandrist, what does that make you?

What have I said that would make you insult me in such manner?

I spoke based on my experience with rising cost of food stuff and if you feel differently, there are ways you could have intelligently made your point but you chose the gutter route.

What if the woman is innocent of what you accused her?

Can you change how you made the husband disbelieve and mistrust his wife?

All people like you do is cause issues between married couples when they foolishly bring their marital issues here.

I could have stooped to your level but i was raised better,plus, not today. Adios.

He was right, bcs u started sounding so stupid and foolish at d same time.

satandeterrible:

Sometimes, I wonder where women like you learn the craft of masterfully claiming victims in all situations and at all times.

You were the first person to put false ideas into the man's head that he was not doing enough.
This is a man providing almost everything in the house and at the same time giving a whopping sum of 80k to the wife.
Yet you imply him he is not man enough.
Can he ever do enough for your
I shudder at the fact that a very unlucky, extremely unfortunate man will marry your type and live with eternal nagging and being told to 'step up' the rest of their miserable lives.

You are perfectly correct sir
Sadly, this is exactly what women put men through these days. These days men are dying in their prime, thanks to their wives for the unbearable burden and pressure they put on their men.

Romanoff:


Please, do keep us updated on how you were able to manage the money so we can learn to be more prudent from you.

I'll certainly do. Thanks

emmanuelbrown26:

He was right, bcs u started sounding so stupid and foolish at d same time.

Please don't mention me again.

I won't be as graceful as I was with him seeing that no one called you into this conversation.