Most of you will think it's money but that's not true.
Money will only attract gold diggers and trenches girls.
I'm 30 years old,technically single,very well to do,well travelled,educated and enlightened in pursuit of happiness.
Now I'm a trader(onye ahia) due to circumstances but I managed to do well at it.
But the challenge now is getting a suitable woman,one who will complement all of my qualities(youthful,smart,fun to be with and growth oriented ) but its turning into a nightmare.
You see to get a homely,middle class girl in this country,you have to roll in their circle because most times,you guys won't cross paths and they like to stick to their circle and you can't even see them.
They hardly go out,move in packs and to single them out and date them na wahala!
They're held up in private universities and will only date from there or in their workplace or work circle.
Now where does that leave you,a street neighbourhood hustler with all your money ?All you will get is a very wide variety of trenches,bleaching,airheaded gold diggers that I don't even go close to or talk to and a host of milfs(30+ with plenty history and baggage) to chose from.
Now the old ones might have money,education,eloquence,maybe class but youthfulness is gone!! No matter how you try to trivialise it,you'll always see the difference. You get to start tolerating rather than enjoying an innocent,youth filled relationship. Their money is now useless to you and no longer an attraction since you have yours and can afford their lifestyle without flinching,so you now start looking for extras that they can't give.
One party is over experienced and the other party is just getting used.I've done it and I don't want anymore of it.
milf na milf abeg.Nothing exciting about them.
You see guys that you're way better than catching all the softies and all that keeps coming your way is bones and I hate it.
I won't give up on my quest,I think I need to leave the shores of this country and go get what I want and convince them to come back home to be with me.
Nigeria is limiting when it comes to relationships .
Many of you that keep shouting money up and down,I look at you and just laugh,you are just ignorant,unless you don't have taste for quality,great women and just want to attract smellos to come spend your change with you.Asides that,your options will be really limited in the dating market.
Younglings,my advise to you is finish school,build a network with great people and everything will fall in place.
Don't rush life,everything will come in its time.
The last place you want to be in is rich without a solid network,its better not to have that money at all.
Because the success will take you away from your real friends who are still down the food chain because thought processes will now change and reality gets different(this isn't classism but pure fact) and then you cant mingle at the top as well cos you don't belong there.
You're now stuck in the middle and alone,that's the real definition of hell.
You will beg for trenches but then lifestyle has changed and you can no longer adapt.
It takes wisdom to escape this.Hell!
Be careful young ones.

This guy won't kill me abeg


Your puns is top-notch. I can't stop laughing.


and all that keeps coming your way is bones and I hate it.


How then do you juxtapose the two different worlds. The long walk to a different well.improved life and not wanting to leave some of the friendships formed in the trenches. Yeah, we have some memorable experiences but we won't taste class on that level ... This triggers a long walk of exploration, self discovery and refinement and of course " solitude " as very few are on this paths.

But what do we do?and as for the kind of ladies guys on this path seek. It's tiring. Just give up already Cause why your bones can burn for what it yearns and your soul knows and feels it's availability, the physical manifestation of it's total lack becomes the nagging daily frustration to deal with...



Trust me, you're in hell on earth. I can relate



I've been calling for answers to this new reality online in recent times. I developed some " theisms " to deal with the situation

Hm... I agree... But many men couldn't get decent women cause they aren't decent... They tend to go for their kind...

I can relate to this. More reason I usually pick my girls from campuses. That's where you get a better bale to sort from.
Nothing dey the streets again. Only hustling young girls that only understands survival, and oldies who's completely lost touch with anything feminine. The later are mostly interested in courtship kind of relationship and seriously harpooning for a good mate.

Datboredberri:
Hm... I agree... But many men couldn't get decent women cause they aren't decent... They tend to go for their kind...

Decency is the issue here but AGE:30 and above.

Datboredberri:
Hm... I agree... But many men couldn't get decent women cause they aren't decent... They tend to go for their kind...

This is not true. An average woman doesn't want an average man. That's leaves the average man with bellow average women to pick from.
Decency in a man doesn't attract a decent woman.

Don't you think it's because of your profession?

Look, you're a trader and what kinda women do you expect to meet?

I would agree with you if you work in one of those top companies.

Top/middle class ladies go out too. You might want to drop your 30+ vibes and go to places they go too.

JoyousFurnitire:
Don't you think it's because of your profession?

Look, you're a trader and what kinda women do you expect to meet?

I would agree with you if you work in one of those top companies.

Top/middle class ladies go out too. You might want to drop your 30+ vibes and go to places they go too.

Bro,I've been everywhere,I go to the places they go to on a regular ,like a lifestyle.
But then,something has to bring you guys together na for her to take you serious.
Perhaps a mutual friend gathering.
That's where the problem is.
Just going there to meet them randomly is kind of hard to be taken seriously, don't you think?
Besides,I am a volume trader(bulk sales only) with an office,staff,well spoken and a bit handsome too.
Not like I am in the market selling yams or so

SeaTrade:
Bro,I've been everywhere,I go to the places they go to on a regular ,like a lifestyle.
But then,something has to bring you guys together na for her to take you serious.
Perhaps a mutual friend gathering.
That's where the problem is.
Just going there to meet them randomly is kind of hard to be taken seriously, don't you think?
Besides,I am a volume trader(bulk sales only) with an office,staff,well spoken and a bit handsome too.
Not like I am in the market selling yams or so

I had three of such ladies. Creamy ladies. Ah God punish devil. They worked at Ikoyi. all three of em. Life style. Wake up 5.30am work. Come back home 6-7-8pm. They use Saturday to rest indoors. This is judging by the lifestyle of the ladies oh. Using them to randomly assume that's how ladies that spec behave. We only met in church, connection was electric. The class was pure golden. Alas, it didn't work Hurts till date.


Attend functions. Yes, they attend functions on the island alot if you're in lag for example. Other cities should have their high end areas

SeaTrade:
Bro,I've been everywhere,I go to the places they go to on a regular ,like a lifestyle.
But then,something has to bring you guys together na for her to take you serious.
Perhaps a mutual friend gathering.
That's where the problem is.
Just going there to meet them randomly is kind of hard to be taken seriously, don't you think?

Omo who sold you that lie? Most of these ladies are lonely and pray they meet someone when they go out. Na them they join morning prayer spaces.

You only need to differentiate them from hookup girls.

Walk up to them, join them when re-creating. You could try gym spaces too.

SeaTrade:

Besides,I am a volume trader(bulk sales only) with an office,staff,well spoken and a bit handsome too.
Not like I am in the market selling yams or so

Lmao

JBriel:



I had three of such ladies. Creamy ladies. Ah God punish devil. They worked at Ikoyi. all three of em. Life style. Wake up 5.30am work. Come back home 6-7-8pm. They use Saturday to rest indoors. This is judging by the lifestyle of the ladies oh. Using them to randomly assume that's how ladies that spec behave. We only met in church, connection was electric. The class was pure golden. Alas, it didn't work Hurts till date.


Attend functions. Yes, they attend functions on the island alot if you're in lag for example. Other cities should have their high end areas

Did you get one of them. Or what happened?

JoyousFurnitire:


Did you get one of them. Or what happened?

All wanted me at once and we're friends. The thing went up in flames. Ah. It will take a while to forget some memories. I wish

JBriel:



All wanted me at once and we're friends.
The thing went up in flames

So?

You're the man, if y'all are friends you should be able to make them know you have a choice and you made one.

Las las some of una go sperate

Datboredberri:
Hm... I agree... But many men couldn't get decent women cause they aren't decent... They tend to go for their kind...

shut your mouth , Nigeria is filled with useless hoes , I keep telling men to travel outside and explore if they want to experience love.

Op I understand your point , I'm having similar challenge too . I have a shop in the market is been difficult to get the right girl because most of the girls I see around me at the market are just opportunist , who doesn't really like me but after my money . I'm looking for girls outside my shop vicinity , my major issue is that I'm always at the shop through the week except on Sundays . I might go to church or hang out.
Please any suggestions

JoyousFurnitire:


So?

You're the man, if y'all are friends you should be able to make them know you have a choice and you made one.

Las las some of una go sperate

The chemistry was so intense between us. I declared who I wanted from the get-go made my move. Long story bro. Long story. Ah.

She messed up. Not that I'm unwilling. Just protecting her fvckups jare


There's always a future jare.

I once told a friend of mine that looking for a wife is now more difficult than looking for money. I guess this thread portrays my point.

LoL..Niggas not settling for less these days...I like that...just like chinua Achebe loved to say..."since the bird has learnt to fly without perching..the hunter has learnt to shoot without missing( or something like that)
Hence... since naija girls re now opportunists...just looking 4 goldmines to gold-dig on...let we niggas now start looking for the high_class ladies from Rich well connected homes as well...
And Niggas...if u wanna meet those kind of ladies... then all those big pentecostal churches is the best bet for you...
That was how I left my Anglican faith nd ran away to living faith(winners chapel)...with my guy back in d days just to be mingling with my childhood crush...Rejoice iwueze.."d famed joy joy joy girl"...ND her classy clique back then at winners chapel Onitsha... LoL...the good old days....I wz just a boy back then but I already knew d class of girls I wanted to mingle with...
And when I'm ready 4 marriage...that's the kind of places... I'm gonna go looking 4 a wife...an high class well connected one that has something to offer me...not those opportunistic... Emotionally damaged...hungry leeches( d bones according 2 Mr o.p) out there on the streets that date (ND fvck) for a living....
Shalom...

benhope222:
Op I understand your point , I'm having similar challenge too . I have a shop in the market is been difficult to get the right girl because most of the girls I see around me at the market are just opportunist , who doesn't really like me but after my money . I'm looking for girls outside my shop vicinity , my major issue is that I'm always at the shop through the week except on Sundays . I might go to church or hang out.
Please any suggestions

go to big man church if you wan shop for girls ,go to big men areas if you one shop for girls, go to gym if want working class lady, whatever you do ,do not settle for a broke bitch , highest you f*ck but relationship no no. ,this is 21st century

Ballzproblemm:
shut your mouth , Nigeria is filled with useless hoes , I keep telling men to travel outside and explore if they want to experience love.

Satan? Is this you?

Can the afford to? Most live below the poverty line... Fighting sapa every day... You think they can leave just to find better women? Lol... Dreamer

Ballzproblemm:
whatever you do ,do not settle for a broke bitch , highest you f*ck but relationship no no. ,this is 21st century

Defo

Datboredberri:
Satan? Is this you?

Can the afford to? Most live below the poverty line... Fighting sapa every day... You think they can leave just to find better women? Lol... Dreamer

your father dreamer

Ballzproblemm:
your father dreamer

So you are Satan***?

.

Datboredberri:
Hm... I agree... But many men couldn't get decent women cause they aren't decent... They tend to go for their kind...

but many broke women want to get rich men despit being broke?

How does that sound

Tickles001:

This is not true. An average woman doesn't want an average man. That's leaves the average man with bellow average women to pick from.
Decency in a man doesn't attract a decent woman.

I and my ex . We're below average.. and we worked hard to get to average.. immidaitely sh started getting attention of the above average... ND sh dumped. My sorry ass and moved up d ladder now I can't get an average laady cuz sh also want an above average guy.... I am stuck to go below average and groomer another one and hope to marry her before. Sh turned again and run away

You guys are really making cool points here,let the experience keep dropping.

JoyousFurnitire:
Don't you think it's because of your profession?

Look, you're a trader and what kinda women do you expect to meet?

I would agree with you if you work in one of those top companies.

very valid point.
environment also influences the kind of women you meet Op.
There was a time i visited an advertising agency on the island, the calibre of women i saw at that firm made me wonder if they were truly nigerians. Their complexion were literally glowing, their accent were top notch, the “innit” standard lol, these are the kind of women that would spend their vacation outside the shores of nigeria.

it’s almost impossible to meet such persons in your line of business or your regular weekend outing, your environment is playing a critical role in meeting the kind of women you desire.

if you’re willing to go on a wife hunting spree, you can stroll around ozumba mbadiwe notably work days 4 -5 pm ish when they are signing off for the day, another good spot to surf is ikoyi. that thing which you seek you will surely findeth in multitude. Goodluck.

Men, if a girl doesnt give you her virginity,her prime and her youth..
I dont see any reason you should give her your best years, attention, finance and emotional support..

Stop settling for used products

Ballzproblemm:
go to big man church if you wan shop for girls ,go to big men areas if you one shop for girls, go to gym if want working class lady, whatever you do ,do not settle for a broke bitch , highest you f*ck but relationship no no. ,this is 21st century

. Thanks for the idea