cococandy:
if they register it in the local registry, that will make it an official union. They get a marriage certificate from the registry when the process is complete, isn’t it then for all intents and purposes, a “court wedding”? They just didn’t have a ceremony at the registry.

I guess you could put it that way but it's a little complicated. Even when a traditional marriage is not registered, it may still be valid. "may" was used here because it has always been valid even without registration, but there is currently a "bye-law" that requires a husband to register his traditional marriage within one month of the marriage or consider it invalid, but I can't say to what extent that law has been fully ratified and how it weighs in with Nigeria's other laws regarding statutory and traditional marriages.

Without the ratification of that law, an unregistered traditional marriage is valid. Within Nigeria, the validity relies on the testimonies of witnesses of the marriage rather than documentation from the registry. For immigration processing, the couple needs at least an affidavit which is accepted by countries including Canada, just the same way they accept affidavit where a birth certificate is not available.

You get landed document?

Merxi:
Good evening everyone, I need your candid opinion as I am about to return my proposal ring to my husband to be. We plan on traveling out of the country next year after getting married. All of a sudden he has been insisting on us not having a court wedding. He just wants us to do traditional wedding and that’s all!…I have tried to change his mind but he is really adamant about it. This is someone I have been dating for close to 6 years

He probably doesn't want you to have the right to take half of his properties if you decide to file for a divorce later

Ebonygeek:

He probably doesn't want you to have the right to take half of his properties if you decide to file for a divorce later

Then the man shouldn't be married at all even to a woman in the foreign country because if ends in divorces, the same thing.

abimcdssi:
And how did you two intend to travel out of the country as a couple without a court wedding certificate? Except you plan going as singles.

Have you heard of Opapa Parada ? That's how I travelled

Moneyyman:
Hi, yes. I tried to be as fair as possible. When I said compromise, I didn't mean something bad. I was talking about a prenuptial agreement. Maybe I should have included it there. I'll modify now.

Her husband's fears (if confirmed) are quite valid. We can't pretend that the abroad laws, in most cases, are not hard on men and a bit easier on women during divorce. Women have it rough too, though.

I think it's best that they both do a prenuptial agreement as that could protect the both of them to their best interests.

Do couples lose half of their wealth in Nigeria? How does having a prenuptial agreement help anyone in Nigeria?

I am asking because once you take your spouse abroad as a dependant, you're financially liable for that person's wellbeing. Even co-habitation comes with a price, now If that woman has a child for you, that's another upper level price. You will still lose your Finance regardless of how you try to avoid it.

Toktee:
And so with the western woman, she can just wake up one day and divorce the man leaving him stranded.

But the OP is not in the West and the laws aren't same here. Thousands of marriages in Nigeria today were done in the court, how many of these wives have woken one morning to kick out thier husbands in Nigeria? Court marriage in Nigeria does not necessarily mean western principles because the Nigerian laws aren't the same as western laws. It's not about the fact that the marriage is done in the court, rather it is about what the Nigerian law says about marriage.

Besides, even the Western laws you guys always make reference to does not give the woman the right to kick out her husband at will. In the West, both parties have equal stakes in the marriage and for any party to kick out the other, you must obtain an occupation order from the court (UK). Such orders are granted on the basis of physical harm (assault) or emotional harm (e.g. cheating). Whiles any of the two parties can get such an order, it's mostly the women that get it and that's because men are mostly the defaulters. A cheating or abusive man would normally accept to leave the house even before the wife requests for such an order because he doesn't want it to be on record. So yes, men have as much right to kick out their wives as women have to kick out thier husbands.

Marital laws in the West are rooted in equality/fairness. For someone from Nigeria where men are considered superior in marriage, it makes sense to say this egalitarian system favors women, but it does not necessarily give them more power than men. Even in the so-called West, many old laws still favor men up till today. Only one country has succeeded in achieving "perfect" gender equality in law.

Lol, nigga looking for an easy way out when he finally gets tired of you. What a clown, you better dump him before its too late.

NoToPile:
I still can't wrap it round my head why people won't want their marriages legally documented. It's only on NL I read these things.


These things are not supposed to be open for discussions at all how on earth won't a marriage be documented legally in this day and age, what is the evidence of marriage.


He doesn't even want to guys to have a solemnization in church where you can get the certificate, I doubt he will even let you register that trad marriage at the LGA it seems the major aim is not to have any legal document.

No be only NL though.

More naija men than you think are partial towards polygamy or sharp sharp exit.

So they do what they can to ensure their marriage has no legal backing.

Especially, beleive it or not lawyers.

Women also play a part. Because most of the second wives or upgraded side chicks insist on court wedding. Because those one tear eye and want to ensure they are not as easily fked over as the people they are fking over

Hohenheim:
Lol, nigga looking for an easy way out when he finally gets tired of you. What a clown, you better dump him before its too late.

Which is even good for me. I might be the one to get tired of him first. So I need it to be easy for me too. There are no huge benefits to a registry marriage that I know of in Nigeria.

GloriousGbola:


No be only NL though.

More naija men than you think are partial towards polygamy or sharp sharp exit.

That would be appreciated. He should leave very fast. So that I can move on with my life.

pocohantas:


Which is even good for me. I might be the one to get tired of him first. So I need it to be easy for me too. There are no huge benefits to a registry marriage that I know of in Nigeria.



That would be appreciated. He should leave very fast. So that I can move on with my life.

ironically, the registry marriage can also go the other way. i have a friends a former who are separated. as i see it, the guy is dragging and delaying the divorce.

also, my understanding is you have to go to court , at which point PM news or maybe that bad news guy will splash all the sordid details everywhere. no vanilla oyibo irreconcilable differences, but he dey beat me, he does not drop money for food, his thing is too big - she only allows the the tip [that one is for you ], she is wayward, etc etc.

GloriousGbola:


ironically, the registry marriage can also go the other way. i have a friends a former who are separated. as i see it, the guy is dragging and delaying the divorce.

also, my understanding is you have to go to court , at which point PM news or maybe that bad news guy will splash all the sordid details everywhere. no vanilla oyibo irreconcilable differences, but he dey beat me, he does not drop money for food, his thing is too big - she only allows the the tip [that one is for you ], she is wayward, etc etc.

My point exactly. I have seen where men chose to tie down their wives. Dragging the divorce process. Not forgetting that divorcing legally is expensive.

Abeg o. If he wants to leave, he should be fast about it. My only concern would be the kids.

GloriousGbola:


No be only NL though.

More naija men than you think are partial towards polygamy or sharp sharp exit.

So they do what they can to ensure their marriage has no legal backing.

Especially, beleive it or not lawyers.

Women also play a part. Because most of the second wives or upgraded side chicks insist on court wedding. Because those one tear eye and want to ensure they are not as easily fked over as the people they are fking over

Custodians of the law indeed, anyway I believe it's good to have a paper to show you are married, you have a school cert, degree, birth cert, notification of birth from the hospital etc you have a document so I always raise an eyebrow when I read stuffs like these here.

It's not even about divorce or separation anything like that for me it just makes sense to have something to present as evidence of marriage. I just love documentation

Merxi:
Good evening everyone, I need your candid opinion as I am about to return my proposal ring to my husband to be. We plan on traveling out of the country next year after getting married. All of a sudden he has been insisting on us not having a court wedding. He just wants us to do traditional wedding and that’s all!…I have tried to change his mind but he is really adamant about it. This is someone I have been dating for close to 6 years

You are the one who have a sinister motive- why are you pushy?
I am not against registering marriages legally, after all it secures the woman and the kids.

GloriousGbola:
No be only NL though.
More naija men than you think are partial towards polygamy or sharp sharp exit.
So they do what they can to ensure their marriage has no legal backing.
Especially, beleive it or not lawyers.

Yet many of these same consider, or want us to believe, divorce taboo subject.