| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by bsfpro: 12:53pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
Give her business to do so that she can be independent on you for financial needs |
| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by skillmyman(m): 12:53pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
tell her parents.
that is the only way u can help her |
| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by TheRollingStone: 12:54pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
Don’t blame her now, you were an enabler to her bad habit |
| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by meetgaya: 12:55pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
Enny2013:
U better report to her family. The family should raise the money jare.
As country had so? If the family pay the money now who is going to pay the next debt when the get married? Avoid her kawai 2 Likes |
| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by obinnaxci(m): 12:55pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
One of the main causes of a failed marriage is financial issues. If your woman is not financially intelligent you run the risk of having your marriage sink into a bottomless pit. Been there done that. It will never end well. Your gut is telling you to quit the relationship before you enter marriage. Trust your gut bro. Man to man. As one who has been there this is my sincere advise. I hope it's not the ex I dated couple of years ago. Telling her family won't solve it. It's a matter of her building a habit of spending wisely. A stitch in time, saves nine. Cheers bro. maikbanj:
Good morning dear Nairalanders,
Thank you for being there in the past with your timely advise(s). I am here again just to get some more on a case.
I have a girlfriend which I plan getting married to as both families are all involved. My girlfriend has had a bad past. She was once abused and all but then I was able to help shape her when I got into her life. I have been there for her in my own little way but lately, she has not been behaving too well and I am not happy about that fact.I will itemize these:
1. She once borrowed her friend her school fees to rent an apartment with the promise the friend was going to pay her back before exams started. Her friend failed to pay her back and I had to provide her with the money in order not to miss her exams. Note, the said friend is a female.
2. Second semester, her pops gave her school fees which I saw the alert. Yea,she travelled down to see me from Lag and she spent some but then I told her she would not have spent her school fees to come see me. Infact at that time I never knew she was going to come because I was sick but she did. So I told her not to touch her school fees again that I was going to refund her the money. She left and I refunded. I paid her flight back to Lagos.
I later found out my girlfriend didn’t pay that school fees. She spent it and when it was time to pay she kept complaining. I was mad at her wondering what she must have used it for. I scolded her and gave her part of the money.(N100k)
3. I have paid several debts for her as she made some mistakes in her online business and was swindled. The most recent one now, she went to get loans from apps online. I don’t even know what would have made her do that as I try assist her when she’s in need. I have warned her severally against borrowing but she went to borrow and now she’s into debt.
I have asked what she used the money for but she can’t even point to one thing. She said she used the initial loan for her personal needs and when she couldn’t pay back, she had to borrow from another app to pay and all. That’s how she kept borrowing to pay another till she borrowed from over 15 loan apps and her debt is running into 350k as at today.
I honestly can’t pay such an amount as I have my own personal problems to carry. I was mad because in the past I have warned her against borrowing and all. Now she’s in trouble and they’ve been threatening her to pay back.
I have told her I don’t have such monies to pay back and even if I had I won’t pay back. I have advised she talk to her parents and siblings about it but she has been scared. I have that money but I can’t pay back as I have more pressing needs to attend to. Since she has refused to tell her parents, I am thinking of telling her parents. I am very close to her family.
This is someone I wanna get married to but with all I’m seeing, I am already having doubts.
She’s from a very good home. Deep down, I love her and she does too. But why these problems, I don’t understand.
Please I seek your advice on how to handle this as I can’t pay such debts. I have done several in the past
Thanks 1 Like |
| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by Asour: 12:55pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
Kennyprince:
Sorry to say but your. Woman is promiscuous Hahahaha, Is that how you come to conclusions on issues? |
| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by Mikelangelo: 12:57pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
Nostring:
You don try... Report her this time, she go vex ,laslas she go calm down.  Nice one. I love this comment. 1 Like |
| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by LaJoe2: 12:57pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
She got money problems. Run! |
| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by glad7live: 12:57pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
I pity your case. U put yourself in the mess U advice you tell her to sortt self or report her to her parents. Already a huge liability, yet not a wife. |
| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by freemi(m): 12:58pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
VirileNelly2420:
First of all, borrowing of school fees is a scope.
If she was a man, I would've said maybe she's into gambling or drugs.
But, a gal, could it be drugs?
Is she d extravagant type?
Or does she mastrubate always, probably with friends while she foot d bills?
Fashion freak?
Am confused too. abeg no vex. Explain the masturbate part abeg |
| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by freemi(m): 1:00pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
bsfpro:
Give her business to do so that she can be independent on you for financial needs she go chop d business money n close down the business |
| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by Jorge91: 1:07pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
maikbanj:
Good morning dear Nairalanders,
Thank you for being there in the past with your timely advise(s). I am here again just to get some more on a case.
I have a girlfriend which I plan getting married to as both families are all involved. My girlfriend has had a bad past. She was once abused and all but then I was able to help shape her when I got into her life. I have been there for her in my own little way but lately, she has not been behaving too well and I am not happy about that fact.I will itemize these:
1. She once borrowed her friend her school fees to rent an apartment with the promise the friend was going to pay her back before exams started. Her friend failed to pay her back and I had to provide her with the money in order not to miss her exams. Note, the said friend is a female.
2. Second semester, her pops gave her school fees which I saw the alert. Yea,she travelled down to see me from Lag and she spent some but then I told her she would not have spent her school fees to come see me. Infact at that time I never knew she was going to come because I was sick but she did. So I told her not to touch her school fees again that I was going to refund her the money. She left and I refunded. I paid her flight back to Lagos.
I later found out my girlfriend didn’t pay that school fees. She spent it and when it was time to pay she kept complaining. I was mad at her wondering what she must have used it for. I scolded her and gave her part of the money.(N100k)
3. I have paid several debts for her as she made some mistakes in her online business and was swindled. The most recent one now, she went to get loans from apps online. I don’t even know what would have made her do that as I try assist her when she’s in need. I have warned her severally against borrowing but she went to borrow and now she’s into debt.
I have asked what she used the money for but she can’t even point to one thing. She said she used the initial loan for her personal needs and when she couldn’t pay back, she had to borrow from another app to pay and all. That’s how she kept borrowing to pay another till she borrowed from over 15 loan apps and her debt is running into 350k as at today.
I honestly can’t pay such an amount as I have my own personal problems to carry. I was mad because in the past I have warned her against borrowing and all. Now she’s in trouble and they’ve been threatening her to pay back.
I have told her I don’t have such monies to pay back and even if I had I won’t pay back. I have advised she talk to her parents and siblings about it but she has been scared. I have that money but I can’t pay back as I have more pressing needs to attend to. Since she has refused to tell her parents, I am thinking of telling her parents. I am very close to her family.
This is someone I wanna get married to but with all I’m seeing, I am already having doubts.
She’s from a very good home. Deep down, I love her and she does too. But why these problems, I don’t understand.
Please I seek your advice on how to handle this as I can’t pay such debts. I have done several in the past
Thanks Do you believe you are a simp? |
| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by alyarmouk(m): 1:09pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
U suppose don escape from the relationship first bfor coming to seek advice |
| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by REALretep(m): 1:09pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
Channah1:
Brother lovina, the red flags are staring you in the face but you choose to be blind to it now because of the butterflies in your belly. wait until you marry her and she starts using your properties and valuables as collateral for debts and loans, that is when you'll know if you really love her or not.
A girl who is not disciplined with money can not manage a home well. If she can be running into debts for her own personal needs, imagine when she now has a family. She'll not only run into debts but start doing dubious and even whorish things to meet up or pay back.
Be guided. Don't let mere feelings get you trapped in a mess you'll live to regret for the rest of your life.
maikbanj
You see this advice above, don't joke with it if you really care about your future.
A woman that lacks financial discipline/management as a spinster will definitely run down the finances of her home.
Be advised 2 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by Gabby2022: 1:10pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
I'm owing 35 loan apps kuda and money in minutes 100k each and I'm having peace of Mind,na mumu dey pay loan app 1 Like |
| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by Ishilove: 1:12pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
maikbanj:
How am I the problem?? You have been enabling her excesses everytime, which is why she is yet to learn her lesson. She believes you will come through for her anytime she blows money. Please, let her dig herself out of the hole she put herself in. That is the only way for her to learn lessons 2 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by maak400: 1:12pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
Father Lord! SIMPle men everywhere.   |
| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by princewarri1985: 1:14pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
She is giving all the money to her main guy, you are her side hen! So be wise brother and use your head and not your heart |
| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by OtunbaStixx23: 1:14pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
U better not be a simp, endure her and regret everlasting
Thanks a lot. I may have to do that this morning. She has been pleading I do not but I sure can’t handle this problem [/quote] |
| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by Matthew2925(m): 1:16pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
I think she needs to understand that she is allowing money have a grip on her which is not so good. You need to make her realise that it's a problem and she needs to consciously work towards solving it then hopefully things would get better. |
| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by zedegit: 1:17pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
maikbanj:
Good morning dear Nairalanders,
Thank you for being there in the past with your timely advise(s). I am here again just to get some more on a case.
I have a girlfriend which I plan getting married to as both families are all involved. My girlfriend has had a bad past. She was once abused and all but then I was able to help shape her when I got into her life. I have been there for her in my own little way but lately, she has not been behaving too well and I am not happy about that fact.I will itemize these:
1. She once borrowed her friend her school fees to rent an apartment with the promise the friend was going to pay her back before exams started. Her friend failed to pay her back and I had to provide her with the money in order not to miss her exams. Note, the said friend is a female.
2. Second semester, her pops gave her school fees which I saw the alert. Yea,she travelled down to see me from Lag and she spent some but then I told her she would not have spent her school fees to come see me. Infact at that time I never knew she was going to come because I was sick but she did. So I told her not to touch her school fees again that I was going to refund her the money. She left and I refunded. I paid her flight back to Lagos.
I later found out my girlfriend didn’t pay that school fees. She spent it and when it was time to pay she kept complaining. I was mad at her wondering what she must have used it for. I scolded her and gave her part of the money.(N100k)
3. I have paid several debts for her as she made some mistakes in her online business and was swindled. The most recent one now, she went to get loans from apps online. I don’t even know what would have made her do that as I try assist her when she’s in need. I have warned her severally against borrowing but she went to borrow and now she’s into debt.
I have asked what she used the money for but she can’t even point to one thing. She said she used the initial loan for her personal needs and when she couldn’t pay back, she had to borrow from another app to pay and all. That’s how she kept borrowing to pay another till she borrowed from over 15 loan apps and her debt is running into 350k as at today.
I honestly can’t pay such an amount as I have my own personal problems to carry. I was mad because in the past I have warned her against borrowing and all. Now she’s in trouble and they’ve been threatening her to pay back.
I have told her I don’t have such monies to pay back and even if I had I won’t pay back. I have advised she talk to her parents and siblings about it but she has been scared. I have that money but I can’t pay back as I have more pressing needs to attend to. Since she has refused to tell her parents, I am thinking of telling her parents. I am very close to her family.
This is someone I wanna get married to but with all I’m seeing, I am already having doubts.
She’s from a very good home. Deep down, I love her and she does too. But why these problems, I don’t understand.
Please I seek your advice on how to handle this as I can’t pay such debts. I have done several in the past
Thanks Bros mi, You can't handle her. Let her be. We are talking of life long commitment to a manipulator, someone who doesn't listen to you, you have even bailed her out and yet she's digging deeper. She's financially irresponsible. You can't say you didn't see the signs. Let her be or allow her to drag you down the ruins. |
| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by Kingcalls: 1:18pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
She is definitely not mature for marriage |
| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by Rushna27(f): 1:19pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
Don't be fast in taking decision yet,she might turn out to be good after some rehabilitation done.i will suggest u pour out ur heart to a family member of hers dat can advice her so as to know what d loans were used for.as for paying d loans,u definitely won't do that except u ave no plans for ur future.after all effort of corrections and she didn't change,its then better u run for ur dear life cos a home with her would be a financial crisis one..... enjoy 1 Like |
|
| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by NGArmyTerrorist: 1:27pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
YinkaOlusesi16:
if you marry her, u can never amount to anything. she is a canterworm & caterpillar. Na destruction him dey find! They never start, liabilities don dey fall in left and right; las las na liquidation or windup go solve their tears.. |
| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by kkins25(m): 1:28pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
Rushna27:
Don't be fast in taking decision yet,she might turn out to be good after some rehabilitation done.i will suggest u pour out ur heart to a family member of hers dat can advice her so as to know what d loans were used for.as for paying d loans,u definitely won't do that except u ave no plans for ur future.after all effort of corrections and she didn't change,its then better u run for ur dear life cos a home with her would be a financial crisis one..... enjoy Finally!!! I would advice the OP not to take all this wannabe redpillers advice seriously. It would appear that the lady is yet to learn of the value of money and the implications of its mismanagement. Generally people can't manage money, it's why the lot of us fall under the 99%. Considering you mentioned she had been abused and how she gave her fees to her friend(which would imply that she is a good person). I would say the lady in question is risk-aggressive. @OP, if indeed love is involved, You two can grow together. Has she spoken to a therapist concerning her past? It would seem she may be from a family that can afford it. I like the fact that she tried to solve the problem in her own before reaching out to you. It would be an important asset in future. She needs to see a 'doctor' or atleast read some books to understand herself more. |
| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by kkins25(m): 1:29pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
YinkaOlusesi16:
if you marry her, u can never amount to anything. she is a canterworm & caterpillar. Rubbish |
| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by kkins25(m): 1:30pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
VirileNelly2420:
First of all, borrowing of school fees is a scope.
If she was a man, I would've said maybe she's into gambling or drugs.
But, a gal, could it be drugs?
Is she d extravagant type?
Or does she mastrubate always, probably with friends while she foot d bills?
Fashion freak?
Am confused too. nonsense |
| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by kkins25(m): 1:31pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
masmnd8:
Do not marry a liability- a word is enough for the wise Nonsense |
| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by idu1(m): 1:31pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
You are still asking if you should report her to her parents abi?
E be like you never belly full |
| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by Rushna27(f): 1:31pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
uote author=kkins25 post=114786817] Finally!!! I would advice the OP not to take all this wannabe redpillers advice seriously.
It would appear that the lady is yet to learn of the value of money and the implications of its mismanagement.
Generally people can't manage money, it's why the lot of us fall under the 99%.
Considering you mentioned she had been abused and how she gave her fees to her friend(which would imply that she is a good person). I would say the lady in question is risk-aggressive.
@OP, if indeed love is involved, You two can grow together. Has she spoken to a therapist concerning her past? It would seem she may be from a family that can afford it. I like the fact that she tried to solve the problem in her own before reaching out to you. It would be an important asset in future. She needs to see a 'doctor' or atleast read some books to understand herself more. [/quote]..........
Dats y I said she shud be rehab for correctional purposes 1 Like |
| Re: My Soon To Be Wife by kkins25(m): 1:32pm On Jul 16, 2022 |
2special:
She belongs to the street and she will definitely go back there which is obvious with what you wrote....but it seems you don't value your Peace... Please let her Go. Mumu man |
