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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child (4699 Views)
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Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by Johnnyjohnnyman(m): 7:22am On Jul 29, 2022 |
Good morning all. My wife and I separated in 2020 for seven months we have reconciled in september 2020 and she took in the same month but I still have doubts because while she we were separated she had cheated on me with her colleague at work. Which I had Proofs. The reason why I have accepted her back was because the fault was mine I didn't cheat on her. I lost my job and my boss gifted me 300k I didn't know tell her anything and I confided to my sister in Benin Republic I sent her 200k to buy goods for me and she duped me. When she found out she started abusing me to the extend I had to leave the house and moved away to stay with my mother. I still doubts about the paternity of our fourth child because she doesn't look anything like me nor her mother. I strongly believed she was already pregnant that is why she came back begging me to return back home. The more the baby is growing up the more she is looking like her colleague. Ever since we had reconciled everything is perfectly fine our relationship is stronger than before but I can't stop thinking about the baby not being my own. I want to take her for a secret dna test but if the result came out I am not the father my family will be ripped off and I don't want divorce but i can't also live not knowing if I am truly her father or not. What would you advise me to do should I go ahead with the secret dna or not I just want to know the truth bur I am scared of the outcome |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by Nackzy: 7:28am On Jul 29, 2022 |
Baba gather money run test 16 Likes |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by Modupetemmy1(f): 7:41am On Jul 29, 2022 |
I suggest you sit her down and have heart to heart talk with her, then the conclusion of the talk will determine if you will go for dna test, but think it very well oooo Cos if after it and the baby is yours wallai if your wife get to find out I am sure she won't forgive you for ever and ever 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by Jay5mie: 7:44am On Jul 29, 2022 |
If there's anything I've learnt with all my years on Nairaland, it's never take women seriously, talkless of getting married. ![]() 19 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by Foodqueen(f): 7:47am On Jul 29, 2022 |
Your story no de ever finish 1 Like |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by Mindlog: 8:00am On Jul 29, 2022 |
Jay5mie: You will take a woman serious enough to need her 23 chromosomes for you to become a father ......las, las na one of dem go born pikin for you unless you don't want to biologically father a child. 9 Likes |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by Mindlog: 8:01am On Jul 29, 2022 |
Then go do a DNA test! 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by bukatyne(f): 8:19am On Jul 29, 2022 |
Modupetemmy1: What is the wife not forgiving in this matter? There is also nothing to talk about. The OP should run a DNA test if the paternity of the child really matters to him. Next time, if someone wants to come back in this manner, give it sometime so some of the reasons can manifest. If you waited at least 6 months to observe, you won't be in this mess. 14 Likes |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by advanceDNA: 8:24am On Jul 29, 2022 |
Johnnyjohnnyman: Do the DNA test... If na your child ...you have rest... If not your child ...you will also rest after knowing the truth.....then tell her to carry pikin go give her father and continue your marriage since you dont want divorce.... shebi you said she did it when you were no longer together... 15 Likes |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by obinna58(m): 8:26am On Jul 29, 2022 |
Modupetemmy1:Which kin advice be dis He shouldn't do DNA bcoz his wife wouldn't forgive him. Wifes who things like this are criminals 13 Likes |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by Tina001(f): 8:41am On Jul 29, 2022 |
Please go for the Secret DNA test. whether it is positive or negative, at least you have known the truth and you will have peace of mind. Then you can know what to do from there, i strongly advice you go for DNA test, don't let the fear of the unknown rub you off your peace of mind 5 Likes |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by Klass99(f): 8:43am On Jul 29, 2022 |
... 4 Likes |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by Richy4(m): 9:30am On Jul 29, 2022 |
![]() ![]() ![]() Based on my Google search, the cost of DNA in Nigeria is from #70,000 to #150,000 in Nigeria hospital... <<Your boss gave you 300k << Sister scammed you of 200k << DNA is plus/minus 80k << Balance 'carried down' 20k Hmmm!!! So u are still within budget range ![]() 7 Likes |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by somenody: 9:35am On Jul 29, 2022 |
DNA test is the only sure way of knowing but I get that bringing it up could cause problems with your wife and such. ***spy in on someone's WhatsApp messages without their knowledge with WhatsApp spy app available at 2k only. dm 09.050.7759.03m |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by crackhaus: 10:17am On Jul 29, 2022 |
She didn't cheat on you nau... ![]() Try to get the thought that she cheated out of your head because if y'all were separated at the time she had sex with her colleague, then it's not infidelity unless you're looking at it strictly through the lens of religion. This notwithstanding however, none of the above excuses the fact that she may have brought in a love-child for you to play daddy to. I consider women who can engage in paternity fraud and still sleep well as being capable of murder, na so I feel... So please run the DNA test, run it secretly, and run it fast. 11 Likes |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by Richy4(m): 11:25am On Jul 29, 2022 |
crackhaus:Hope you were not being sarcastic... Because It is cheating / infidelity in my opinion without even putting religion into it...A situation by which couple were no longer living together, but are still legally until a judge grants them a divorce is separation...Key word is Legal.. And you know there are three kinds of separation... <<Trial separation: When spouses needs a break from each other, while contemplating whether or not to divorce.. <<permanent separation: Spouses lives apart without any intention to reconcile, but were not divorced << legal separation..an arrangement by which a couple remain married but live apart, following a court orders In this case OP and his spouse were just on a trial separation...and she cheated while legally involved and u said it wasn't infidelity? 1 Like |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by crackhaus: 12:24pm On Jul 29, 2022 |
Richy4:Whatever kind of separation it is, as long as it was a decision/agreement both couples came to with their full senses intact, I do not consider having sex with other people during such a time as cheating/infidelity. Perhaps it's just me, but I do know a few people personally who hold same thoughts. 3 Likes |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by Richy4(m): 1:08pm On Jul 29, 2022 |
crackhaus:@ Bold, Below is what decision/ agreement looks like when it was mutual separation by couples.. They set ground rule and decide ; <<If they can date other people while separated <<if they have joint account, they will decide to continue having the joint account or not.. <<budget/ spending matters will be discussed.. <<who will stay in the family home will be agreed on... <<if they have kids, how and when each of them will spend time with them. etc. In this case such communication was not there... It was not a mutual agreement per say ...The OP left because verbal abuse was involved and there was no ground rules set aside while they were separated.. So one party cannot wake up one morning and jump into the arms of another man/woman while still legally married...For me, It's absurd and eccentric. |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by GboyegaD(m): 2:44pm On Jul 29, 2022 |
Tell your wife of your suspicion and the need to take her for a DNA. You can then decide on what your best choice is upon getting the result. |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by GboyegaD(m): 2:45pm On Jul 29, 2022 |
bukatyne: The idea of a secret DNA testing. 1 Like |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by tonicyril: 2:56pm On Jul 29, 2022 |
Modupetemmy1:so u mean if u were to be my wife and i secretly run a dna test behind u and the test states that i am the father, do u tink i wil let u know?? I wil tear the result and trash it even before i step out of the testing center. Who born fool? ![]() ![]() And secondly, if u re the wife and person call u con dey question the paternity of the child from u, how will you react?? No matter how he table it. So what i am saying is that all what u said up there are......well. |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by tonicyril: 2:58pm On Jul 29, 2022 |
GboyegaD:so if u re the wife u can be happy and take it lightly if ur husband question ur faithfulness and paternity of a child u have for him. |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by bukatyne(f): 3:18pm On Jul 29, 2022 |
GboyegaD: If I were the guy, I might do open testing sef. Secret testing in this case is serious aponle. And if she finds out, is to thank the guy for his sensitivity and thoughtfulness under her breath. |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by UptownVibes(m): 3:26pm On Jul 29, 2022 |
Your best bet is to try all you can to run DNA test. Don't even let her know your intention . Just run it without her knowing. If the result says the child is not yours ,then I don't think there is need for the marriage. Any woman that can cheat or lie to you,can as well kill you. Except you don't value your life.. Shalom! |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by Richy4(m): 3:51pm On Jul 29, 2022 |
tonicyril:There are smart phrases used when politely disagreeing with someone in a public forum or offline...Eg <<I beg to disagree with you.. <<I’m sorry but I disagree with you about this... <<I understand where you’re coming from, but... <<That’s a valid point, but.. It depict a well raised gentleman and lady with class.. ![]() 8 Likes |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by tonicyril: 4:56pm On Jul 29, 2022 |
Richy4: You re right, am sorry for the statement. Thanks for ur correction 7 Likes |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by GboyegaD(m): 4:57pm On Jul 29, 2022 |
bukatyne: He should let her know he wants to do DNA on the child. There's no need hiding it. |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by GboyegaD(m): 4:58pm On Jul 29, 2022 |
tonicyril: Why should she be sad? Did she not sleep with another guy while they were separated? It's no big deal he's questioning the child and if she's innocent and feels she can't handle the level of distrust, she should make it known. I wonder why people get married if they can't handle some basic truthful discussions. |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by tonicyril: 5:09pm On Jul 29, 2022 |
GboyegaD:Yes she did but there are better ways to go about it. No long tin, even if he manage to sit her down and ask her questions she will still lie and claim OP is the biological father. The best tin to do is to secretly do dna, if na ur child u go tear the dna result right in front of the doctor and trash it there, and if its not ur child den u know what to do ![]() |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by Lighthouse50: 6:53pm On Jul 29, 2022 |
Telling her to her face now gives her enough time to make plan B. Do the secret DNa and if negative just get home and give her money to cook good meal. While eating and enjoying, tell her you have a surprise for her and hand the result over to her. She will dn the needful 2 Likes |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by Aaaaarghmed(m): 7:06pm On Jul 29, 2022 |
Johnnyjohnnyman:I remember your story months back. |
Re: Unsure If I Am The Father Of My Fourth Child by GboyegaD(m): 9:38pm On Jul 29, 2022 |
tonicyril: There's no need been a coward about it and I'm presuming they are adults. Based on the circumstance surrounding the birth, I would want to conduct a DNA on this particular child. Is that too hard to ask? |
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