Hmmn.

oazeez1991:
It's obvious you've made up your mind already, and no amount of words could have you change your mind unless you choose to. Moreover, you are right to feel the way you are feeling right now. In fact, you are justify to feel that way. We are all human, blood runs in our vein. What your husband did by not getting you inform from the get go is a totally wrong. He wasn't been fair with his dealing with you from start. But trust me, he did what he did i.e. hiding such sensitive matter from you cos he was afraid to lose you. He felt for the one who birth the child in question to not want to take up responsibility of raising him/her, how would someone who wasn't a part of it accept to? I understand and could resonate with his (your husband) fear, but he was being insensitive about how he deals with it. He forget that no matter how far lie goes, truth would one day caught up with it. Maybe he doesn't want to get you involve with the child all along, hence, his reason for keeping it away from you, not knowing there is no escape route to such reality.

The child in question is just the victim here. He/she didn't ask to be birth, atleast not into a family that would abandon him/her, but life do happen.

How you get to be in such marriage before finding out about such revelation is a destiny you just have to accept.

From one of your response, you claim should it's your child (I forbid it for you) that is the way the one in question is, you will treat him/her accordingly. It won't be easy and it's already evidence it has not been, but you can always treat that child as your own.

The main issue I see here is financial incapability. Had it been your husband is well to do, the situation would have been rosily handle, but the case is different.

Do what you wanna do, but give it a second thought. Divorce isn't the way forward.

tell your family that one back to op you better leave ooo. Ther was a case I witnessed, a man hid his epileptic condition to his newly wed wife. the wife knew after 3 months of marriage the family gathered and gave this kind of advice this person is giving you better wise up ooo

ibechris:
Being pregnant in Nigeria where emergency services doesn't work is a problem let alone taking care of a child in that condition.

Do whatever u want to do after all,life no get duplicate.

If anything happens to u,that man will rush to marry another woman without waiting to morn u. Do whatever u wish would help u in this condition.

Thank you I am leaving next month on the 4th

AjiBussu:
Please leave. He ought to have told you.

Thank you

oazeez1991:
It's obvious you've made up your mind already, and no amount of words could have you change your mind unless you choose to. Moreover, you are right to feel the way you are feeling right now. In fact, you are justify to feel that way. We are all human, blood runs in our vein. What your husband did by not getting you inform from the get go is a totally wrong. He wasn't been fair with his dealing with you from start. But trust me, he did what he did i.e. hiding such sensitive matter from you cos he was afraid to lose you. He felt for the one who birth the child in question to not want to take up responsibility of raising him/her, how would someone who wasn't a part of it accept to? I understand and could resonate with his (your husband) fear, but he was being insensitive about how he deals with it. He forget that no matter how far lie goes, truth would one day caught up with it. Maybe he doesn't want to get you involve with the child all along, hence, his reason for keeping it away from you, not knowing there is no escape route to such reality.

The child in question is just the victim here. He/she didn't ask to be birth, atleast not into a family that would abandon him/her, but life do happen.

How you get to be in such marriage before finding out about such revelation is a destiny you just have to accept.

From one of your response, you claim should it's your child (I forbid it for you) that is the way the one in question is, you will treat him/her accordingly. It won't be easy and it's already evidence it has not been, but you can always treat that child as your own.

The main issue I see here is financial incapability. Had it been your husband is well to do, the situation would have been rosily handle, but the case is different.

Do what you wanna do, but give it a second thought. Divorce isn't the way forward.

Thank you I am leaving next month on the 4th

Karleb:
You are too young to be suffering for another person's sin

Thank you

Since you’ve already made up your mind, what’s the purpose of bringing this matter here. You are going to do what you want regardless what anyone tells you, no be so?

If you want to leave, biko leave!

CountVersailles:
Since you’ve already made up your mind, what’s the purpose of bringing this matter here. You are going to do what you want regardless what anyone tells you, no be so?

Please read my last paragraph like I said earlier my post is not about changing my mind or stayimg because I will stick to my decision. but I just wanna know what other people would do in my situation. You know on social media we advise people on things that we cannot even take a quarter of. Even myself if i wasn't in this situation I would have advised the person to stay and look after the child because I am not the one wearing the shoe but I wear the shoe and it is not easy

Calibrator:
If you want to leave, biko leave!

Thank you

Richy4:
<< Nigeria is indeed breaking a lot of homes...
<< If taxes are utilised and channelled to the right direction and corrupt practices are not in place, op will not be here talking about leaving her home..
<< Many countries with vision are the ones talking care of special need children with tax payers money...
<< We see them all the time looking nice in their special Van and their care givers taking good care of them because they are paid to do so..
<< The most annoying thing is that most of the law makers in Nigeria have been abroad... Most of them had their education there... They have seen how the government of those nations alleviate the problems of their citizens... They have seen how it works but when they get to Nigeria, they turned blind eyes.. they act like they have never seen or heard things like it..

You are totally right I agreed with everything you said. Taking care of a person with disabilities in nigeria is hell because they're jot help but in developed countries is so much better. Trust me is not easy for me is only one week and I have gave up due to no support.

dawnomike:
My churchy mind wants to tell you to stay in your marriage as it is for 'better for worse', but i surely can't judge you if you do otherwise as he was not truthful to you from the set go.

The burden is much as you presently heavily pregnant... If he can put his daughter in a place where she will be taken care of without affecting you, please, stay in your marriage.

Just in case he can't, give him space

which kain nonsense for better for worse??

For better for worse dey inside bible??

OP i cant advice u to take care of someone else responsibilities ooh, me sef a no fit do am, mba.

tonicyril:
which kain nonsense for better for worse??

For better for worse dey inside bible??

OP i cant advice u to take care of someone else responsibilities ooh, me sef a no fit do am, mba.

Thank you

Thank youThank you...

This is what happens when you put the cart before the horse. When you ought to do your findings about who you're getting married to, you were busy consumating sex, getting yourself pregnant and rushing into marriage without proper background checks. Now you want to opt out just like that.

you think marriage is child's play? Or something you can just throw in the trash when the odds are against you? Think again cos this right here is the real marriage. So you have to accept and deal with it.

Oh... You want the man but you don't want his child?
What if it was you who gave birth to the child? Forget about how the mother is not willing to take her therefore you can't keep her excuse you're giving. The father didn't marry her but you. Maybe if he did, she won't abandon the child, so you who won the man should accept his totality.

Do you know what the one you're carrying will turn out to be?

Majority of you marry these days for the benefits. If nothing is in it for you, then you leave. You can't sacrifice and if they ask you now, you'll say you love the man. Mtcheeeeeewwwww..

E be things oooo.

Please divorce him. Let the man be Free. You're already cheating on him.

Blessedmercy8:
This is what happens when you put the cart before the horse. When you ought to do your findings about who you're getting married to, you were busy consumating sex, getting yourself pregnant and rushing into marriage without proper background checks. Now you want to opt out just like that.

you think marriage is child's play? Or something you can just throw in the trash when the odds are against you? Think again cos this right here is the real marriage. So you have to accept and deal with it.

Oh... You want the man but you don't want his child?
What if it was you who gave birth to the child? Forget about how the mother is not willing to take her therefore you can't keep her excuse you're giving. The father didn't marry her but you. Maybe if he did, she won't abandon the child, so you who won the man should accept his totality.

Do you know what the one you're carrying will turn out to be?

Majority of you marry these days for the benefits. If nothing is in it for you, then you leave. You can't sacrifice and if they ask you now, you'll say you love the man. Mtcheeeeeewwwww..

First of all our relationship was based on lies because he didn't tell me anything about her or her condition if he had told me from the onset I would have decided whether to quit or stay but he didn't tell me anything until the mother dropped her off and why would I have suffer for someone else responsibility. My only mistake was marrying him with his lies but his child in that condition is not my responsibility at all. If her mother that carried her for 9 long months cannot do it anymore me too I won't do it because I have done it for a week and I am already tired. Please if you think it is that easy if you are a woman you care enough for her come and marry him and take care of the child or if you are a man ask one of your sisters to come and replace me so she can take care of her.

You should leave that marriage because the man was too economical with the truth, but if he eventually finds a solution like a maid that can handle the matter, then you should consider staying

pointblank247:
You should leave that marriage because the man was too economical with the truth, but if he eventually finds a solution like a maid that can handle the matter, then you should consider staying

Thank you

H0711:


First of all our relationship was based on lies because he didn't tell me anything about her or her condition if he had told me from the onset I would have decided whether to quit or stay but he didn't tell me anything until the mother dropped her off and why would I have suffer for someone else responsibility. My only mistake was marrying him but his child in that condition is not my responsibility at all. If her mother that carried her for 9 long months cannot do it anymore me too I won't do it because I have done it for a week and I am already tired. Please if you think it is that easy if you are a woman you care enough for her come and marry him and take care of the child or if you are a man ask one of your sisters to come and replace me so she can take care of her.

Leave all this excuses. He didn't tell you, he didn't tell you. Did you try to find out?

Oh.. now you're helping him look for a wife... but if the mother had told you then to leave her man for her, would you have agreed?

You don enter now, see wetin dey inside, you come dey run.

One thing you should know is, marriage is not all that fun. It's a parcel full of surprises and you just have to brace yourself for it as each day unfolds. Or what were you expecting?

Sit down there. You don enter, you don enter.

Nwata fu ihe o choga, ahu e doe ya.
Happy married life.

Blessedmercy8:


Leave all this excuses. He didn't tell, he didn't tell you. Did you try to find out?

Oh.. now you're helping him look for a wife but if the mother had told you to leave her man for her, would you have agreed?

You don enter now, see wetin dey inside, you come dey run.

One thing you should know is, marriage is not all that fun. It's a parcel full of surprises and you just have brace yourself for it as each day unfolds. Or what were you expecting?

Sit down there. You don enter, you don enter.

Nwata fu ihe o choga, ahu e doe ya.
Happy married life.

Most of the things you are saying here if you were in my shoe you will not even take a quarter of it . Maybe if it was you by now you will be locking her inside the room like an animal . But i have tried my best to take care of her needs but i cant take it anymore.I will not stay where I am not happy . My happiness and health matter a lot. like I said earlier if you are a woman come and marry him to help taking care of the child

H0711:


Yes to be honest with you he can't afford it.

n you what can afford?
Nothing I guess!!
Lol

fman:
n you what can afford?
Nothing I guess!!
Lol

Yes I can't afford it too because I am not working due to my condition

[quote author=H0711 post=115222439]

Most of the things you are saying here if you were in my shoe you will not even take a quarter of it . Maybe if it was you by now you will be locking her inside the room like an animal . But i have tried my best to take care of her needs but i cant take it anymore.I will not stay where I am not happy . My happiness and health matter a lot. like I said earlier if you are a woman come and marry him to help taking care of the child [/quote]

SMH.. see married woman.
I'm sure you made the for better for worse vow or you didn't get the chance to because of your condition?

I can't be in your shoes because I'll set my priorities right by praying first for God to reveal the kind of man I want to marry to me instead of jumping into bed with him and doing the opposite. Ok?

Marriage is not something you jump into for the sake of it. It requires serious prayers to avoid such mistakes and "had I known."

Carry your cross.

H0711:


Yes I can't afford it too because I am not working due to my condition

So if you divorce him,
How r u gonna take care of urself and the baby?

[quote author=Blessedmercy8 post=115222531][/quote]

Yes I did for better for worse I have accepted him with his poor condition that's already worse because a lot of woman won't take it but i wasn't aware of the child especially in that condition I will never accept that worse because it is a death sentence. You are free to come and accept the worse in my behalf

fman:

So if you divorce him,
How r u gonna take care of urself and the baby?

I am going back to the village I will find something to do and take care of myself and the child

H0711:


I am going back to the village I will find something to do and take care of myself and the child

Wt this ur condition...
Plz don't take a decision that will devastate u
Ok.
If u divorce him,
Do u wish re-marrying?
Make e no b say that your Ex-bf, dey deceive you.

fman:

Wt this ur condition...
Plz don't take a decision that will devastate u
Ok.
If u divorce him,
Do u wish re-marrying?
Make e no b say that your Ex-bf, dey deceive you.

I am 7 months pregnant it is my first pregnancy I should be resting a lot but ever since the girl came I have been up and down , lifting her , feeding and changing nappies it is not easy. Well I can't answer your question about remarriying because it is only God that knows what the future will bring for me.

Hmmm I know exactly how you feel and your feelings are understandable without a question. It takes one to be mentally tough to take care of a physically challenged individual with no body mobility. They are 100% dependent on you for their every needs, let’s not even talk about handling of poo, urine, feeding them straight from hand to mouth. it’s a lot to take in without prior notice from your husband.

You are pregnant too and it won’t be easy. It won’t be easy and you should not be guilt-trip into making the decision to care for the child.

Rest and relax, move out if you absolutely need to. You should make the decision yourself if you want to handle the situation with your husband.

Nobody should make you guilty. Your heart should not grumble into helping the poor child, least you do all in vain.

May God send helper to the child. It may be it’s your husband’s karma in some sort of way!

Move on . A pregnant woman needs rest as well. Just take care of yourself for the now and prepare for childbirth, tomorrow will sort itself out.