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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Help Boyfriend Withdrawing (2656 Views)
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Help Boyfriend Withdrawing by Sayqueen: 12:47am On Aug 06, 2022 |
Hey guys I’m need some advice with my relationship. So this year, I started speaking to this guy whose share the same familial ties as me. He is an American citizen. When he first approached me I wasn’t totally interested but over time I’ve fallen in love with him. He’s has all the qualities I look for in a man. Fast forward he went back and we have been speaking everyday for the past five months. Our families know that we’re speaking and it its getting serious. He’s hinted at marriage as well and he’s sent me money. However I feel like he’s attention has slowly been staring to get withdrawn and he’s been more confrontational then usual. I’m not sure if it’s me or maybe something bothering him. Please any advice would mean a lot |
Re: Help Boyfriend Withdrawing by seunloveporn: 12:52am On Aug 06, 2022 |
U dey find visa ni. Move on he has done same |
Re: Help Boyfriend Withdrawing by Haakeem(m): 12:55am On Aug 06, 2022 |
Sayqueen:. 13 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Help Boyfriend Withdrawing by AfroKnight: 1:01am On Aug 06, 2022 |
The scales fell from his eyes and he really saw you. He saw through you. He didn’t like what he saw. Leave him alone please. Thank you. 9 Likes |
Re: Help Boyfriend Withdrawing by DaInferno(m): 6:06am On Aug 06, 2022 |
Sayqueen:what's stopping you from asking him directly, why cut corners?! You are coming to ask nairaland ![]() Learn to talk to your partners directly and stop second guessing their thoughts. Improve on yourself 2 Likes |
Re: Help Boyfriend Withdrawing by STOICREALIST: 6:31am On Aug 06, 2022 |
Sayqueen: There is hardly anyone who can provide the reasons for his change in social and romantic behavior towards you. Of course your claims are founded based on months of daily interaction with him, so you are most probably correct that he could have changed slightly. In such instance, please ask him nicely if anything is wrong. The man could be looking for who to pour out his heart to but you may be interested in discussing your marriage you are hoping for and etc. Ask him if his worries, his fears, his concerns. Ask him, is it work? Is it YOU? Is it your family ? Is it his family? You are the best person to gently and politely get to him. He is a man, be comfortable to hear his complaints and listen to his complaints. Be his supporter and listen to his solutions the problems while suggesting modifications to any crazy solution he proposes to the problem(s). Yes, MEN CAN BE CRAZY. Of recent, I know a man whose problems was his wife’s sisters invading their home. She would allow them into their home. They would disrespect him. Wear half nude clothes and making his life uncomfortable. When they are home he had to avert his eyes, close his room door, etc. After warning his wife many times about her sisters and she wouldn’t listen, he decided to make life uncomfortable by going after the youngest sister. The funny thing is he told ALL his family members that he was going to sexually chase the girl and that was what he was going to do. They screamed and begged over the phone that is was a FOOLISH and STUPID IDEA. He went on to use that as a solution and it led a a bitter quarrel between him and his wife, but the sisters were eventually banned from the home. He achieved his goal but the solution and method was horrible. Men can be crazy. And men go through a lot and do crazy things in order to be men. Now back from my digression. You are the best person to approach him and speak with him to know the problems. If he doesn’t speak of it on your video calls for instance, then chat with him. Let him know he can discuss and tell you anything bothering him. Perhaps when you know what is bothering him, we may then be able to give you tips in keeping a man faraway overseas, that other women are probably “eyeing” too. 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Help Boyfriend Withdrawing by Sammy101111(m): 6:41am On Aug 06, 2022 |
Before you marry any one don’t make money your priority. Can he make you happy can he make you smile Can he make you comfortable He’s he cool with you Are you enough for him Are you he’s last bus stop Can he interact with you Remember marriage no be rice and beans Marry a man that will be your friend , brother , father an partner in everything 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Help Boyfriend Withdrawing by Nobody: 7:35am On Aug 06, 2022 |
Don't force him. Keep the chatting and communications flowing without talking about the relationship, so that you won't look desperate. Don't be a leech in any form. He may be going through alot and you should take the advantage of that to provide solutions, and give the best advice. Pray for him physically and in your mind. Don't hide that. Don't even ask him any thing for now. Just pure friend level with zero mind. Always ask of his wellbeing and be more concern what you can assist him emotionally than what you can gain physically. Alot of us when change countries might be challenging in first few years and we need clear head and good support to keep going. If he likes you, with time, he will keep it flowing and you will know. (Many grown up naija that are yet to marry still prefer someone that has similar backgrounds and cultural beliefs like them). While doing that, keep everything open incase you see someone that is really ready for you, but before you make your final decision on that, make sure that you stylishly ask him about his future when you have built your bond well. But definitely not now. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Help Boyfriend Withdrawing by jeromestarks: 8:33am On Aug 06, 2022 |
Sayqueen:Every man gets tired of a non virgin woman eventually because the best part of them is what we see on the first date. Everything underneath is not pleasing. Don't worry, he has lost interest because you're not a virgin. Go and look for the man who disvirgined you and leave this innocent man alone to have a happy home. You said you love him right? Then let him go! You will cause nothing but pain and sorrow to him ( since you have lost your flower). He knows this, that's why he is gradually moving away from you. 2 Likes |
Re: Help Boyfriend Withdrawing by Killerbag36: 11:32am On Aug 06, 2022 |
Sayqueen: Seriously he has finally find out u ve nothing to offer aside sex nd you re broke busy waiting for him to marry u nd take you to usa then u will later cheat on him, he's wiser now we don talk to am after all no b him disvirgin u go find ur fellow broke level to level up. |
Re: Help Boyfriend Withdrawing by VladimirPutiin(m): 12:46pm On Aug 06, 2022 |
Haakeem: .
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Re: Help Boyfriend Withdrawing by VladimirPutiin(m): 12:49pm On Aug 06, 2022 |
Nairalanders are just too brutal. See comments.. I know the OP will be regretting bringing this here now ![]() ![]() ![]()
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Re: Help Boyfriend Withdrawing by Figger(m): 2:56pm On Aug 06, 2022 |
I keep wondering how people cope in a distance relationship, I no fit. |
Re: Help Boyfriend Withdrawing by advanceDNA: 3:29pm On Aug 06, 2022 |
Sayqueen: Relationship is a risk....put in your best....and hope for the worst and best at the same time....long distance relationship can be uneasy...so what you are experiencing is kinda common....u just need to put in more effort So....Before you ask or nag him about what the issue is...just try and put in extra effort in being a good girl friend first.... dont always collect, collect, collect...ask for his home address..order something online and ship to him...no matter how rich a man is...he will always appreciate a woman thats thoughtful enough to give him things once in a while apart from sex and asking if he has eaten...u are even fun another time zone...so no sex...its just "have you eaten" Be interesting on the phone, show you desire him .....men like the feeling if being desired too.....if you put in more effort and he's still being distant...then u can initiate a talk about it.. How ever way it goes...u go dey alright las las.... 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Help Boyfriend Withdrawing by advanceDNA: 6:27pm On Aug 06, 2022 |
Figger: Na long distance dey sweet pass...u'll miss each other, build anticipation, making the sex and seeing each other super exciting everytime U see that girlfriend wey dey stay two street away?? Make i nor talk too much.... |
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