Morphinne:

Your goodness turns into betrayal the very moment Sandra starts hiding the transaction from her husband. Remember that you also made the husband think you weren’t communicating with Sandra at all? That’s a bright red flag, my friend.

Mandem05:

Of course na dia you think reach.

Richy4:

My brother, I taya,.. people just look at things in one parallel line as if that's just how life is... .. how do this guys brainstorm in their places of work? Or projects they were executing... Abi someone go suggest and they follow without looking at another possibility?

Bro, one even said I was the OP and was trying to keep the thread alive just imagine that stupid comment ...
And the op couldn't crawl out from wherever rat hole he is staying to say no, we are different people and have never seen or known each other... He just kept mute
Another said that I was that OP's friend... "So many wise people here".. no wonder the owner doesn't stay here but have a 'permanent resident visa' on twitter..

Make I no forget to ask, how are u man.. hope you are good

GboyegaD:


I am doing okay, thanks for asking.

Reading post here makes me wonder how we reason. I want to believe they just want to trend and sometimes, I am forced to think that things have really gone too bad with us that it has affected our reasoning so much.
How are you and the family doing?

Cheasystickylov:
What exactly are you saying
1. The friend acts as if he does not has any contact with woman
2.The friend and the woman could not give any credible explanation
3. None of them told OP about it.
4. The woman does not lack

You expect OP not to be suspicious. Can't you see that you are the one not being reasonable?.

Cheasystickylov:
You write so well, and obviously I can see you are very disciplined by refraining to get into abuse, despite provocative responses to your posts. However let us be more objective here. It is obvious something isn't quite right. The man said he does not even have his friend's number. Moreover for the fact that he discovered the funds that was sent to his wife by himself means everything but good. These could be
1. The woman and the man have a satanic and unclean agenda (why shouldn't either ot them informed the man ?)
2. The woman does not repect the man.
3. Many things between 1 and 2 which are also red flags.

If I may ask, are you married?. Turn the table around, if you were the OP and the scenario played out, so you will assume that it was fund for ice cream or similar frivolities and you will not think of cheating ?. Man and woman can hardly be just friends. Note that I used the word hardly, and not never

Richy4:

I honestly don't know what to make out of your logic..Were you implying that the friend asked Sandra to hide the transaction from the husband?

You have never come in contact with someone with trust issues that is why.. besides did he mention how the friend makes him feel that he wasn't contacting the wife?...Did he in anyway asked the friend if he has seen or been communicating with the wife and he gets a negative answers?

I like realistic people a lot..in this life time, of course, I will never have a friend whom I will ran into the wife and kids somewhere at the mall.. give the wife money for the kids icecream and he called to question me on why I did it.. that will be an insults to me...
If the wife didn't tell him about the icecream, that's her problem not mine...

The level of dirty mindset and suspicion around the world nowadays is nauseating..

Cheasystickylov:
What exactly are you saying
1. The friend acts as if he does not has any contact with woman
2.The friend and the woman could not give any credible explanation
3. None of them told OP about it.
4. The woman does not lack

You expect OP not to be suspicious. Can't you see that you are the one not being reasonable?.

Morphinne:

Kid, when you grow older you will understand better. Nobody is saying it’s wrong to ‘dash’ your friend’s wife money but pretending to not be communicating with the said wife and the wife not wanting to pick your (the friend ) call while talking to her husband is enough to unsettle any man. Could it be that she was afraid the friend might ‘misyarn’ if she had picked up the phone?
If I’m speaking with my wife on the phone and someone calls me on my second phone, I would pick up the call without necessarily asking her to end the call since I have no skeleton in my closet and if it’s about business, husband who has nothing to hide would pick up the call and put the phone on speaker just so she can hear the person’s voice (you can then end her call). Hope you understand now or you’re just after creating unnecessary argument

Morphinne:

Kid, when you grow older you will understand better. Nobody is saying it’s wrong to ‘dash’ your friend’s wife money but pretending to not be communicating with the said wife and the wife not wanting to pick your (the friend’s) call while talking to her husband is enough to unsettle any man. Could it be that she was afraid the friend might ‘misyarn’ if she had picked up the phone?
If I’m speaking with my wife on the phone and someone calls me on my second phone, I would pick up the call without necessarily asking her to end the call since I have no skeleton in my closet and if it’s about business, husband who has nothing to hide would pick up the call and put the phone on speaker just so she can hear the person’s voice (you can then end her call). Hope you understand now or you’re just after creating unnecessary argument

Richy4:


<<I didn't even read the part that says he doesn't have his friend's number... If that was the case, experience have taught me that some people leaving somewhere abroad hardly share their numbers... Especially those individuals that they want to discard... I read where he said he lend his friend money before travelling and he hasn't paid back... So if u put two and two together, u will arrive at a great conclusion on why he doesn't have his number..

<< Maybe, as one of the online person said, many people are guilty of the said thing and are looking at it on a particular lens without thinking what if(s)?.. anyone who knows me online or offline knows I try to think outside the box.. I don't fancy parallel ways of thinking...

<<If you read my earlier chat, I said that the wife should have told the husband but it's not in the place of the man to tell the husband...I still said something must have made her to forget telling the husband..

<< I want to ask u some questions..Have you done a great deed before as an individual? Do u go about announcing what you have done for people to see/ know?.. If so, it's not everyone that does that... even Jesus Christ sometimes does some good stuffs to people and charge them not to disclose it....
if the woman did not disclose what the man did, that is her problem and not the friend's headache..

<< As old as I am, I can't keep shitty friends and the ones that I have, if they buy or give money to my wife and I see it, and I asked my wife and she explained what OP's wife told him, I will take it.. because I have some level of trust on her...

<<Has it even occurred to you guys that some people got trust issues in this world?.. every movement is always suspicious to them... When u greet a neighbour, the manner in which you greeted will be scrutinized.. Assuming he doesn't have trust issues, he would have stated here what the wife told him the money was meant for... There's no way the woman will not give an explanation... Hence he called the friend to confirm or collaborate with the wife's answer... instead of telling us what the wife told him the money was meant for, he jumped into the arguments part where she may have talked about privacy of phones so that you guys will validate whatever he has in mind...

<< Buddy, I don't wanna dwell much on this, because I don't know how to deal with people with trust issues... He should go and sort himself out.. I'm done with this thread..

Cheasystickylov:
Well, let me just say this, I hope you do realise that thinking outside has nothing to do with ignoring the facts and lieu of alternatives.
Look at the example you gave in your opening statement that people do not do good things and start announcing what they have done ?. How exactly does this relate to the facts on ground. The oga is broke for crying out loud, so why will he be doing one giving put money to the person's wife he is owing, and also begging favour from.
Talking about announcements, you should know that in this case, announcement is the best thing to do.
This has nothing to do with trust, it has everything to do with doing things properly.
Then people should get marry without signing any document because they trust themselves, no need to sign any paper.
What is wrong is wrong. No need for this justification.
Lastly this is not thinking outside the box. Thinking outside the box has a completely different meaning

Richy4:
<< Trust is really dead in this weird world..
***Does it mean that this can never be a possible scenario any more in this weird world?**

<< John my friend stays in France, the wife Sandra stays in Nigeria...
<<On a good day, out of my kind and benevolent heart, gave Sandra 30K to buy icecream for the kids and herself.. thinking I was looking out for the interest of my friends John..
<<John came back to Nigeria, saw the alert on the wife's phone and began to "Meleske"
<< My goodness, suddenly turned into betrayal, adultery and infidelity
<< Na waaaOo!!

virginprincess:
So because your friend gave your wife money you just concluded that she is cheating on you without any concrete evidence ,nawa for some men sha,anyway,what i see there is that you never trusted your wife from the onset if not why would you just conclude that she's cheating on you .

Qtrpst4:
Sorry to hear that though marriage is beautiful with the right person.

My attack on the guy is that he is not even married but talking rubbish, I suspect his gay.

Guy, stay safe and take care of your self oh

Osama2478:


Thank you very much for your contribution. I have read every comment here dispassionately because I wanted broader views on what has happened.

While I understand that some people naturally always have a contrarian view of issues, the view would only become credible if it is intelligently constructed and presented.

I chose to ignore @Richy4 because he is deliberately trying to create a forced narrative of events that never happened just to present himself as the most intelligent person here. At a point, he threw a direct insult at me for not coming out to debunk an earlier claim we interchange monikers, meaning, we are the same person trying to keep the thread alive.

For the record, there was nowhere I said that I don't have my friend's number. I said that I don't have his wife's number because I don't interact with any of my friends' wives except when we go for family visits. Again, in his diabolical analysis, he had already made a conjecture that I wanted to discard my friend because I traveled abroad. The reality is that I won't open too much about my personality or situations around me just because you wanted to force a misleading narrative devoid of any intelligence.

No matter what, I will still say thank you for following the thread @Richy4

iamme1234:
Brother
You are a real guy man.
Only a wise man would note all this and sense something afterward.
It’s not easy to leave a woman down and went to Europe to hustle and at the end
Bullshit is happening.

As a learned old street man with sense
I wil tell you to seat your wife down
And ask her
Babe who am I to you
If she says husband or fiancée
Ask her for the last time
What is the purpose of that money
And why is my friend always calling you

Brother if she has no tangible response according to me I will send her away
It’s not easy make you Dey hustle for her to be happy and another man is seeing her at the back
Brother don’t put fire on the mountain
Those ladies are devil.

Don’t be surprise if you returned back someone else would be sampling her potato.
Peace be unto you

TheGiftedOne:
I feel he was in need of money, so your wife borrowed him. He only returned it via transfer. Something like he saw a cheap car or land and didn't want to miss it, so he asked for loan to buy and refund with small eyesaw possibly.

Meanwhile they both no want tell you cos you go vex say money wey you send come home for family, na I'm she go borrow out or take do business.




Everything no be cheating. Meanwhile this nonsense culture of keeping a woman like a standby generator to go wherever you men like, have "fun" as you all like and come back to FROWN at the women over infidelity.

Women na wood? What kind of entitlement mentality be that? Emotionally abusing women and playing victim.

Uchefx:
Calm your pressure down, act like a fool to get what you want. Get a laptop, and hack your wife's WhatsApp number. Then never touch her phone again, you can be seeing all what she is doing on your laptop, if possible, put hidden camera on your room and maybe travel for the next one week. You must get further information, if actually she is cheating on you

jasminer:


Exactly, osama2478 sounds very very suspicious. For my husband to suspect me to that level is very very bad. Imagine ordering your wife to pickup her call while you're on a call with her.

Snooping through her phone and even credit alerts. If his wife puts a password on her phone, that will be enough evidence to divorce her . He must have checked her chats and even social media and the only thing he found was that alert.

I think the lady and his friend got closer after he left but due to his attitude, she didn't tell him such information make the marriage no scatter. I know many women like that, they even have to hide their dream from their husbands that reads meaning into everything even the kind of dream they have.

Chances of her cheating is 20%, chances of osama2478 being paranoid is 80%.