crackhaus:

I am the same yesterday, today, and forever... I nova change o

Honestly, I won't be surprised if you tell me that you have hired a PA to handle your Nairaland account... Or you've met groups of die.. die.. die by fire by force on your way to Damascus

That statement is like something you can comfortably say without even batting an eyelid those days

Kobojunkie:
Stop that nonsense! The man eats moi-moi outside but bullies his wife over the same.On top of that, he speaks down to her telling her she is only for sex and cooking. Don't need to be a rocket scientist to realize this is more than just about beans and moi-moi.

Blessedmercy8:
Sorry to say but you're being stubborn to the man.

Your husband can not just wake up and say those things to you. You must have done something that annoyed him to make him say such, prolly to get back at you.

Now, reason I said you're being stubborn is, you know he doesn't like your moimoi, yet you keep making it. As in... Let him do his worse. Abi na?

If you truly care and respect him, you would stop but here you are telling us you can never stop making it because your children like it. By that you're already saying he should go to hell for all you care and he too gets the message reason he chose to be careless with words too.

You claim he buys it outside. What does that tell you? Yours is prolly not as fanimorous ( sorry to say). Now, what have you done to improve your moimoi because there is moimoi and there is mai-mai **chuckles** .
My dad too hated moimoi to the extent that one day after he dropped money for food and asked what we want to prepare, we all chorused moimoi (because we children loved moimoi) and he said "moimoi gbuo gi" that is, "moimoi Kee you". There and then we knew we have tormented this man with this food. So we prepared his favorite, rice and stew.

You need to calm down for your man. You chose to marry him in the first place, so do anything that will make him happy. Coming here after how many children to say you feel ashamed of yourself for letting him sleep with you makes no sense because you too have been sleeping with him. so both of you have used each other. No biggies. Forget and move on.

Look for how to spice up your moimoi. Prepare it for only your children, (give him what he wants) let him perceive your new moimoi, he'll be the one requesting for it.

You don't have to prepare it the same day you're making other meals. You can just make the moimoi on your free days and pack in the fridge for your children so you don't get to overwork yourself.

Richy4:



Honestly, I won't be surprised if you tell me that you have hired a PA to handle your Nairaland account... Or you've met groups of die.. die.. die by fire by force on your way to Damascus

That statement is like something you can comfortably say without even batting an eyelid those days

Lalakas:
Am not happy with my husband's utterances towards me. He unapologetically told me my duties are just 2: to give him se. X and to cook. This guy has really hurt me in this marriage, he seems not to know how to talk.

I work and equally contribute to everything. I dont hide my income and i give him for the building we are both building. I am not useless and i am not a liability to him.

How it all started :
Moimoi or beans is for every other Friday or Saturday ( moimoi could be ones in 6 weeks except my kids specially ask for it) but for a while now whenever I prepare any of the 2 he would complain, regect it. He told me he doesn't like them during the week and I will never prepare them Sunday to Thursday. Friday because he won't be going to work the following day. My kids like eating moimoi very well, infact, it is one their best meals. Atimes, they ask for it. My husband sees moimoi and beans as crap. Guys, he buys it and eat it outside!, my moimoi doesn't purge anyone of us. Even him but he'd keep saying he purges with moimoi, it's just an excuse.

It is difficult to cook 2 foods, i will not stop making moimoi or beans because of him, my kids like the meal so much. For the fact that he buys it out there and this food is what we usually enjoy together before now, i cant stop cooking it.

He has in many ways abused me, he is not someone I should even go the extra mile for, he doesnt sacrifice for me, he doesn't respect me, he doesn't stay close to me except when he wants se. X, always going out. He is very scarce at home. I can't cook 2 foods on days i cook moimoi or beans.

And for telling me my duties are just 2 in his life, I feel abused for allowing him have se. X with me all these while, i feel like a kitchen tool for cooking for him. His intentions and motives about a women are so demeaning.

I am feeling so ashamed of myself. He place no value on me.

Blessedmercy8:
Sorry to say but you're being stubborn to the man.

Your husband can not just wake up and say those things to you. You must have done something that annoyed him to make him say such, prolly to get back at you.

Now, reason I said you're being stubborn is, you know he doesn't like your moimoi, yet you keep making it. As in... Let him do his worse. Abi na?
You are on point and funny enough the man could have not even said those words and she is insinuating

If you truly care and respect him, you would stop but here you are telling us you can never stop making it because your children like it. By that you're already saying he should go to hell for all you care and he too gets the message reason he chose to be careless with words too.

You claim he buys it outside. What does that tell you? Yours is prolly not as fanimorous ( sorry to say). Now, what have you done to improve your moimoi because there is moimoi and there is mai-mai **chuckles** .
My dad too hated moimoi to the extent that one day after he dropped money for food and asked what we want to prepare, we all chorused moimoi (because we children loved moimoi) and he said "moimoi gbuo gi" that is, "moimoi Kee you". There and then we knew we have tormented this man with this food. So we prepared his favorite, rice and stew.

You need to calm down for your man. You chose to marry him in the first place, so do anything that will make him happy. Coming here after how many children to say you feel ashamed of yourself for letting him sleep with you makes no sense because you too have been sleeping with him. so both of you have used each other. No biggies. Forget and move on.

Look for how to spice up your moimoi. Prepare it for only your children, (give him what he wants) let him perceive your new moimoi, he'll be the one requesting for it.

You don't have to prepare it the same day you're making other meals. You can just make the moimoi on your free days and pack in the fridge for your children so you don't get to overwork yourself.

RightToReject:



The fact that he doesn't like moi-moi (or the one she prepares) but the majority do is enough reason for him to accept her decision to continue preparing it as a meal for the family in good faith. Life doesn't revolve around him; that is what it means to be thoughtful as a man. Where there was no existing/hidden animosity between him and his wife, and assuming that they have always been mutually sacrificial toward each other, the wife could cheerfully and seamlessly find a way of making an alternative meal available for him; just as he could always personally find a way to fix his own meal in such an instance too, when the wife is sincerely unopportune to do so, unless he's destitute that is incapacitated and can't afford to fix his own meal directly or indirectly.

There's hidden animosity between them; this issue of a meal is just an afterthought. And she and her husband alone know the cause of the rift in their union.

The majority of couples are nothing more than frenemies living together.

lereinter:
To avoid fornication, let every man get his wife, and every woman her husband.

If fornication wasn't a sin, who will marry?

Blessedmercy8:


What makes you think this things you listed will spice up the moimoi?

What makes moimoi delicious is the following

Fresh tatashe
Tin tomatoes
Those long dry pepper

If you fry these Peppers with the tomato paste in enough vegetable oil very well and add to your moimoi, any body who eats it will be hooked on it.

Im a caterer and I cook for events. Ive worked with the local olopos. That's how we cook party moimoi.

Mindlog:


Well written.

I

lilioj:
It seems marriage is overrated, to many unhappy stories about marriage

RightToReject:


Lol, trouble maker, you are laughing today. Well, it will not stop me from sending you an e-slap if you misyarn the next moment, just as I will try to make another arrangement when in town for you to come to my aristocratic enclave so that I can better your life. You must leave Jaywick as far as I am concerned, whether you like it or not.

Stay safe and blessed just for this moment.

lilioj:

If I get you properly, you said we should fry the pepper and spices in vegetable oil before adding to the grinded beans? Thanks

RightToReject:


Lol, trouble-maker, you are laughing today. Well, it will not stop me from sending you an e-slap if you misyarn the next moment, just as I will try to make another arrangement when in town for you to come to my aristocratic enclave so that I can better your life. You must leave Jaywick as far as I am concerned, whether you like it or not.

Stay safe and blessed just for this moment.

Kobojunkie:
Yet what appears a majority in marriage do fornicate. So, is avoidance of fornication the true reason why many marry? Please snap out of this delusion for your own sake.

RightToReject:



The fact that he doesn't like moi-moi (or the one she prepares) but the majority do is enough reason for him to accept her decision to continue preparing it as a meal for the family in good faith. Life doesn't revolve around him; that is what it means to be thoughtful as a man. Where there was no existing/hidden animosity between him and his wife, and assuming that they have always been mutually sacrificial toward each other, the wife could cheerfully and seamlessly find a way of making an alternative meal available for him; just as he could always personally find a way to fix his own meal in such an instance too, when the wife is sincerely unopportune to do so, unless he's destitute that is incapacitated and can't afford to fix his own meal directly or indirectly.

There's hidden animosity between them; this issue of a meal is just an afterthought. And she and her husband alone know the cause of the rift in their union.

The majority of couples are nothing more than frenemies living together.

RightToReject:


Lol, trouble-maker, you are laughing today. Well, it will not stop me from sending you an e-slap if you misyarn the next moment, just as I will try to make another arrangement when in town for you to come to my aristocratic enclave so that I can better your life. You must leave Jaywick as far as I am concerned, whether you like it or not.

Stay safe and blessed just for this moment.

Kobojunkie:
Marriage isn't the problem. Same way business is not the problem when a business partnership fails.

lereinter:
If a married person is fornicating that's up to him and his God

What you call delusion is the word of God in the Bible, if you don't agree, so it's left to you

Go to buy good marriage books eg ojagbulu books and learn

Blessedmercy8:


Yes, fry before adding to the moimoi. If you don't fry it, it will make the moimoi sour quickly.

Try it and see. You won't make moimoi any other way again

Jovialjune1:




The only time you made sense, and I had no choice but to like your comment

It is either someone is commenting on behalf of this moniker, or you woke up on the right side today

Kobojunkie:
It isn't the word of God but the opinion of a man that happens to be written in your Bible.

There are no books out there that will give you a good marriage. A marriage is clearly defined as an agreement between a man and woman. All the books in the world can't get two to agree unless they both work towards it. And marriage isn't meant to be a prison for anyone meaning it is ok if it fails.

RightToReject:


This your usual indirect way of telling me that you've missed me a lot and need my attention for your refreshment is now old, lol. Anyway, I'm not available for you, small girl, and I promise not to be the reason you'll cry today.