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What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by kernniejay(m): 8:34pm On Aug 16, 2022
Lalakas:
Am not happy with my husband's utterances towards me. He unapologetically told me my duties are just 2: to give him se. X and to cook. This guy has really hurt me in this marriage, he seems not to know how to talk. intentions and motives about a women are so demeaning.
I am feeling so ashamed of myself. He place no value on me.
Sorry sister. Meanwhile, dont listen to most of those people blaming you and condemning you for cooking moimoi. Most of them are living a miserable life outside internet. What I will tell you is this; when your husband is lively or in good mood, bring up this issue and let him know how bad you feel about his statement. Let him know that his children like moimoi and that's why you always cook it. Let him know that you are a human being and not a piece of property in his house. However, let him know that you dont have a problem in cooking what he likes but you also want his children to be happy. Make sure you dont disrespect him.
NB. I am also a married man with a kid.

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Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by bukatyne(f): 9:09pm On Aug 16, 2022
lilioj:

If I get you properly, you said we should fry the pepper and spices in vegetable oil before adding to the grinded beans? Thanks

This cracked me up!
Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by lilioj: 12:12am On Aug 17, 2022
bukatyne:


This cracked me up!
Really? Why smiley
Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by softy(m): 7:52am On Aug 17, 2022
Madam well done.

To adjudge your case carefully, I practically ate beans for two days this week and the rate at which I was releasing gas ( mess or flatulence) was so amazing and embarrassing. Imagine if I was in the meeting with customers, or High Profile persons or in front of my boss or in front of my team, how do I find myself encouraging and be proud about it?

About the toxic words from your husband, calm down and discuss it with him. I know apart from this bad experience, he is a very good man and that is why you felt hurt and care about him.

God bless your home, Ma'am.

1 Like

Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by ETIIKO: 8:06am On Aug 17, 2022
sorry for what you are passing through. Please note that all marriage faces different challenges because everyone are brought up in different family background and environment. Yes, telling you that you only have two responsibilities is not fair, please don't take it to heart; continue to do your best do not resist from carrying out your responsibility as a wife.
Wait for a good day that he will be in a good mood and then express your feeling to him. Thank you
Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by NoToPile: 11:03am On Aug 17, 2022
.
Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by meobizy(f): 4:25pm On Aug 18, 2022
Two of you grew under different roofs. Una go compromise in due time. Marriage no easy.
Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by olamoses75(m): 4:27pm On Aug 18, 2022
He said he doesn’t like moimoi, for a reason best known to him. But you keep preparing it because your kids love it. Are you placing your kids above your husband? Think about it.

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Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by Pastev1(m): 4:28pm On Aug 18, 2022
MY DEAR THE SUMMARY OF IT ALL IS THAT YOU ARE MARRIED TO OFFER A GOOD/TIMELY SEX AND TO ENSURE FOOD IS AVAILABLE WHEN NEEDED WHICH GOES ALONGSIDE WITH GOOD HOUSEKEEPING... THANKS
IF ANYONE MISLEAD YOU, THEY DON'T LIKE YOU. REMEMBER, MARRIED HAS NO MANUAL, IT'S YOUR HUSBAND'S DESIRE, AND UNDERSTAND THAT YOU BOTH ARE YOUR MANUAL TO WORK ON. ONCE AGAIN THANKS
Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by Kobojunkie: 4:28pm On Aug 18, 2022
olamoses75:
He said he doesn’t like moimoi, for a reason best known to him. But you keep preparing it because your kids love it. Are you placing your kids above your husband? Think about it.
So she should deny her children moimoi because her husband, who also eats moimoi when cooked outside, says so? undecided

1 Like

Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by Emeka71(m): 4:29pm On Aug 18, 2022
Cook food.
Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by Kobojunkie: 4:29pm On Aug 18, 2022
kernniejay:
Sorry sister. Meanwhile, dont listen to most of those people blaming you and condemning you for cooking moimoi. Most of them are living a miserable life outside internet. What I will tell you is this; when your husband is lively or in good mood, bring up this issue and let him know how bad you feel about his statement. Let him know that his children like moimoi and that's why you always cook it. Let him know that you are a human being and not a piece of property in his house. However, let him know that you dont have a problem in cooking what he likes but you also want his children to be happy. Make sure you dont disrespect him.
NB. I am also a married man with a kid.
That statement essentially comes from her being a piece of property to him. lipsrsealed

1 Like

Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by royalfly(m): 4:30pm On Aug 18, 2022
Lalakas:
Am not happy with my husband's utterances towards me. He unapologetically told me my duties are just 2: to give him se. X and to cook. This guy has really hurt me in this marriage, he seems not to know how to talk.

I work and equally contribute to everything. I dont hide my income and i give him for the building we are both building. I am not useless and i am not a liability to him.

How it all started :
Moimoi or beans is for every other Friday or Saturday ( moimoi could be ones in 6 weeks except my kids specially ask for it) but for a while now whenever I prepare any of the 2 he would complain, regect it. He told me he doesn't like them during the week and I will never prepare them Sunday to Thursday. Friday because he won't be going to work the following day. My kids like eating moimoi very well, infact, it is one their best meals. Atimes, they ask for it. My husband sees moimoi and beans as crap. Guys, he buys it and eat it outside!, my moimoi doesn't purge anyone of us. Even him but he'd keep saying he purges with moimoi, it's just an excuse.

It is difficult to cook 2 foods, i will not stop making moimoi or beans because of him, my kids like the meal so much. For the fact that he buys it out there and this food is what we usually enjoy together before now, i cant stop cooking it.

He has in many ways abused me, he is not someone I should even go the extra mile for, he doesnt sacrifice for me, he doesn't respect me, he doesn't stay close to me except when he wants se. X, always going out. He is very scarce at home. I can't cook 2 foods on days i cook moimoi or beans.

And for telling me my duties are just 2 in his life, I feel abused for allowing him have se. X with me all these while, i feel like a kitchen tool for cooking for him. His intentions and motives about a women are so demeaning.

I am feeling so ashamed of myself. He place no value on me.

All you kept saying is my kids mykids.. how about our children or our kids.. something tells me u are a self centered person.

In short I did not finish reading before I made my earlier comment. Seemed ehhh my friend shut up. U nor wise.. sorry if na insult o but na the truth so e nor fit be insult

2 Likes

Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by olamoses75(m): 4:30pm On Aug 18, 2022
Kobojunkie:
So she should deny her children moimoi because her husband, who also eats moimoi when cooked outside, says so? undecided
then she should seek commitment and respect from her kids and leave the man alone with his attitude.

2 Likes

Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by Kobojunkie: 4:32pm On Aug 18, 2022
olamoses75:
then she should seek commitment and respect from her kids and leave the man alone with his attitude.
But the man is the one who attacked her with his statement? undecided

3 Likes

Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by nooboody: 4:34pm On Aug 18, 2022
U no sabi cook another food or Na only moimoi you know cause your problem is very stupid. He doesn't like it then cook something else

Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by bcomputer101: 4:34pm On Aug 18, 2022
Blessedmercy8:
Sorry to say but you're being stubborn to the man.

Your husband can not just wake up and say those things to you. You must have done something that annoyed him to make him say such, prolly to get back at you.

Now, reason I said you're being stubborn is, you know he doesn't like your moimoi, yet you keep making it. As in... Let him do his worse. Abi na?

If you truly care and respect him, you would stop but here you are telling us you can never stop making it because your children like it. By that you're already saying he should go to hell for all you care and he too gets the message reason he chose to be careless with words too.

You claim he buys it outside. What does that tell you? Yours is prolly not as fanimorous ( sorry to say). Now, what have you done to improve your moimoi because there is moimoi and there is mai-mai **chuckles** .
My dad too hated moimoi to the extent that one day after he dropped money for food and asked what we want to prepare, we all chorused moimoi (because we children loved moimoi) and he said "moimoi gbuo gi" that is, "moimoi Kee you". There and then we knew we have tormented this man with this food. So we prepared his favorite, rice and stew.

You need to calm down for your man. You chose to marry him in the first place, so do anything that will make him happy. Coming here after how many children to say you feel ashamed of yourself for letting him sleep with you makes no sense because you too have been sleeping with him. so both of you have used each other. No biggies. Forget and move on.

Look for how to spice up your moimoi. Prepare it for only your children, (give him what he wants) let him perceive your new moimoi, he'll be the one requesting for it.

You don't have to prepare it the same day you're making other meals. You can just make the moimoi on your free days and pack in the fridge for your children so you don't get to overwork yourself.


God bless you jor
Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by sukkot: 4:35pm On Aug 18, 2022
the nigga sounds obedient

Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by Savedday: 4:37pm On Aug 18, 2022
Na d children marry u or na him?

Ur husband has now confirm that u are useless.

When I use to tell him here, he refuse to listen. Now see what u are making him go through!

9ja girls! They are nothing but useless. All of them...

Know this and know peace

1 Like

Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by BloomingDale(f): 4:40pm On Aug 18, 2022
Na wa o. Where do women meet this kind of men? My husband will tell me I’m just a sex tool and a cook. I can’t even fathom someone telling me that, so I got no advice to give.

On the other hand I don’t believe this story. Seems made up.

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Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by ezeukwu1(m): 4:40pm On Aug 18, 2022
@Lalakas The case is simple: cook ur moimoi and buy his own outside
Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by Nobody: 4:42pm On Aug 18, 2022
Aunty run before he kills you. You married a psychopath

3 Likes

Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by Alawode01(m): 4:47pm On Aug 18, 2022
What is others duty you think that you owning him please? aside to have a good teast of you, I can see that you didn't summisive enough,if so you're to change from what he didn't want to what he wants,say your duty is just two doesn't mean he didn't appreciate you,nor dislike you but it's you that is rising ego to giving him what he dislike.like me,my wife have know that she can't cook yam,beans,or miomio because of me, and I like beans cake,so is just as if you want to poison him, when you cooked unfavorable food for him.

1 Like

Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by Alawode01(m): 4:48pm On Aug 18, 2022
Ok
Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by phemy36(m): 4:52pm On Aug 18, 2022
Savedday:
9ja girls!

They are nothing but useless. All of them...

Know this and know peace

My brother. Nigerian female heeeee. They should be avoided by all means
Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by alaska4life: 4:53pm On Aug 18, 2022
Your husband is the head of the family! He doesn't stop you from eating what you like. Just try and prepare his favorite meal. You can prepare more than a meal, if you wants to. Maybe your husband used those words on you base on anger but I promise you one thing if you start preparing is favorite, he will surely cherish you!
Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by phemy36(m): 4:54pm On Aug 18, 2022
masmnd8:
Aunty run before he kills you. You married a psychopath

A single mother advising a married woman, so that two of you will be in same level. Da bi motida

1 Like 1 Share

Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by RepoMan007: 4:56pm On Aug 18, 2022
Lalakas:
Am not happy with my husband's utterances towards me. He unapologetically told me my duties are just 2: to give him se. X and to cook. This guy has really hurt me in this marriage, he seems not to know how to talk.

I work and equally contribute to everything. I dont hide my income and i give him for the building we are both building. I am not useless and i am not a liability to him.

How it all started :
Moimoi or beans is for every other Friday or Saturday ( moimoi could be ones in 6 weeks except my kids specially ask for it) but for a while now whenever I prepare any of the 2 he would complain, regect it. He told me he doesn't like them during the week and I will never prepare them Sunday to Thursday. Friday because he won't be going to work the following day. My kids like eating moimoi very well, infact, it is one their best meals. Atimes, they ask for it. My husband sees moimoi and beans as crap. Guys, he buys it and eat it outside!, my moimoi doesn't purge anyone of us. Even him but he'd keep saying he purges with moimoi, it's just an excuse.

It is difficult to cook 2 foods, i will not stop making moimoi or beans because of him, my kids like the meal so much. For the fact that he buys it out there and this food is what we usually enjoy together before now, i cant stop cooking it.

He has in many ways abused me, he is not someone I should even go the extra mile for, he doesnt sacrifice for me, he doesn't respect me, he doesn't stay close to me except when he wants se. X, always going out. He is very scarce at home. I can't cook 2 foods on days i cook moimoi or beans.

And for telling me my duties are just 2 in his life, I feel abused for allowing him have se. X with me all these while, i feel like a kitchen tool for cooking for him. His intentions and motives about a women are so demeaning.

I am feeling so ashamed of myself. He place no value on me.
he has expresses his opinion about your duties to him. What about your duty to your children and your own personal opinion?
As for rejecting bean cake inside and buying outside, maybe he is just being genuine or being malicious and giving you a signal to bad things he has in stock ahead.

1 Like

Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by rippa(m): 4:58pm On Aug 18, 2022
Lalakas:
Am not happy with my husband's utterances towards me. He unapologetically told me my duties are just 2: to give him se. X and to cook. This guy has really hurt me in this marriage, he seems not to know how to talk.

I work and equally contribute to everything. I dont hide my income and i give him for the building we are both building. I am not useless and i am not a liability to him.

How it all started :
Moimoi or beans is for every other Friday or Saturday ( moimoi could be ones in 6 weeks except my kids specially ask for it) but for a while now whenever I prepare any of the 2 he would complain, regect it. He told me he doesn't like them during the week and I will never prepare them Sunday to Thursday. Friday because he won't be going to work the following day. My kids like eating moimoi very well, infact, it is one their best meals. Atimes, they ask for it. My husband sees moimoi and beans as crap. Guys, he buys it and eat it outside!, my moimoi doesn't purge anyone of us. Even him but he'd keep saying he purges with moimoi, it's just an excuse.

It is difficult to cook 2 foods, i will not stop making moimoi or beans because of him, my kids like the meal so much. For the fact that he buys it out there and this food is what we usually enjoy together before now, i cant stop cooking it.

He has in many ways abused me, he is not someone I should even go the extra mile for, he doesnt sacrifice for me, he doesn't respect me, he doesn't stay close to me except when he wants se. X, always going out. He is very scarce at home. I can't cook 2 foods on days i cook moimoi or beans.

And for telling me my duties are just 2 in his life, I feel abused for allowing him have se. X with me all these while, i feel like a kitchen tool for cooking for him. His intentions and motives about a women are so demeaning.

I am feeling so ashamed of myself. He place no value on me.
You too get wahala
So u cant cook the food your husband want simply because ur children enjoy moimoi? Even if he buys it outside, that is not ur problem, give him what he wants at home.
You were together before the kids for goodness sake.
That man feel disrespected because u are not doing what he asked u to do.
Why is it that when women start having kids, they switch their love to their kids and stop loving their husbands.
You can love your kids and still have that special love for your husband.
Do what he wants and see if he will not change. The earlier u change the better for your marriage before another woman start giving him what he is looking For, if it has not even started (going with the sex and food statement from him)

1 Like

Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by ajidikun: 4:58pm On Aug 18, 2022
wis3:
It's not like he doesn't eat moi-moi, he buys it outside but dislikes it when it is prepared in the house. It's just one of those times when people just get fed up with each other for no just reason but he will come around. What she needs is to be less available for his every needs and work on her esteem and and will be well.
then try and tastethe moi-moi that he eats outside and see the difference,so that you can take corrections.
Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by Louis8796: 4:59pm On Aug 18, 2022
go and ask ur grandmother.
Lalakas:
Am not happy with my husband's utterances towards me. He unapologetically told me my duties are just 2: to give him se. X and to cook. This guy has really hurt me in this marriage, he seems not to know how to talk.

I work and equally contribute to everything. I dont hide my income and i give him for the building we are both building. I am not useless and i am not a liability to him.

How it all started :
Moimoi or beans is for every other Friday or Saturday ( moimoi could be ones in 6 weeks except my kids specially ask for it) but for a while now whenever I prepare any of the 2 he would complain, regect it. He told me he doesn't like them during the week and I will never prepare them Sunday to Thursday. Friday because he won't be going to work the following day. My kids like eating moimoi very well, infact, it is one their best meals. Atimes, they ask for it. My husband sees moimoi and beans as crap. Guys, he buys it and eat it outside!, my moimoi doesn't purge anyone of us. Even him but he'd keep saying he purges with moimoi, it's just an excuse.

It is difficult to cook 2 foods, i will not stop making moimoi or beans because of him, my kids like the meal so much. For the fact that he buys it out there and this food is what we usually enjoy together before now, i cant stop cooking it.

He has in many ways abused me, he is not someone I should even go the extra mile for, he doesnt sacrifice for me, he doesn't respect me, he doesn't stay close to me except when he wants se. X, always going out. He is very scarce at home. I can't cook 2 foods on days i cook moimoi or beans.

And for telling me my duties are just 2 in his life, I feel abused for allowing him have se. X with me all these while, i feel like a kitchen tool for cooking for him. His intentions and motives about a women are so demeaning.

I am feeling so ashamed of myself. He place no value on me.
Re: What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help! by Kobojunkie: 5:00pm On Aug 18, 2022
ajidikun:
then try and tastethe moi-moi that he eats outside and see the difference,so that you can take corrections.
What about him buying this fantastic moi-moi he eats outside on moi-moi days so his wife and kids can eat it with him instead? undecided

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