Why Shouldn't It Be Okay, That Some Women Don't Want Kids - Family - Nairaland
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| Why Shouldn't It Be Okay, That Some Women Don't Want Kids by IyaTola: 3:09am On Aug 14, 2022 |
Following the thread, https://www.nairaland.com/7276978/just-need-family "I just need a family" Let me turn the question on it’s head and ask: Why shouldn’t it be ok, that some women don’t want children? The answers to which are likely to be some very objectifying, regressive, sexist ideas about what it means to be a woman. Ideas that reduce an individual, to a role. In this case, being a mother. A woman should naturally have a desire to be a mother. A woman is not complete till she experiences motherhood. Women are nurturing by nature. The greatest thing a woman can ever do, is to bring life forth. No. Romanticizing and glorifying motherhood, does not make it the feminine imperative that the world would have you believe it is. No individual needs to be told by others what fulfillment, success and achievement should look like, for them. It’s incredibly condescending to tell someone what you think they should consider the barometer of happiness, success and fulfillment in life. It is for the individual to decide what does and doesn’t count as “being a man/ woman”. A woman is perfectly complete as the individual that she is, if she so thinks. The highest stature a woman can aspire to is not motherhood, if that’s not what motherhood is to her. Feminity and nurturing do not necessarily have to go together, if a woman does not feel so. See, there’s this radical idea doing the rounds that women and men…are people. Individuals. Independent entities. Autonomous beings. So they get to define what they do or don’t want out of their lives and not social tropes and stereotypes. Parenting is not a feminine imperative. It’s a personal preference. I know…Shocking, right? 8 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Why Shouldn't It Be Okay, That Some Women Don't Want Kids by Romanoff(f): 4:42am On Aug 14, 2022 |
I know men who also do not want kids. It's better to not have kids than to bring kids into this world only to destroy their lives. But then, this stance should be made known when dating or before walking down the aisle to avoid issues later. 9 Likes |
| Re: Why Shouldn't It Be Okay, That Some Women Don't Want Kids by Nobody: 6:05am On Aug 14, 2022 |
Hmm! Everything is not about forming "wokeness" o; atleast in the context of the thread you referenced. If anybody chooses not to want to have kids, is not, by itself, a bad thing; it is only expected that this discussion is made with an intending spouse. If the person shares in your views, fine; if not, go your seperate ways. Everybody has the right to want to have kids, just as you have the right to not want to. 2 Likes |
| Re: Why Shouldn't It Be Okay, That Some Women Don't Want Kids by cococandy(f): 7:08am On Aug 14, 2022 |
Obviously that wife didn’t do okay by hiding that fact from her husband. But just like you OP, I find it dumbfounding that there are people still existing today who haven’t realize that not everyone wants or should have kids. Based on the comments on that thread, there seemed to be quite a lot of comments of people not just focusing on the poster’s wife but on ladies in general who don’t want kids like it’s something terrible. For the deliberately obtuse ones I think she was wrong for not letting him know before marriage that she doesn’t want kids. Just repeating myself because some doofus is still going to quote me to insinuate that I support hiding such preferences from one’s potential spouse 10 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Why Shouldn't It Be Okay, That Some Women Don't Want Kids by crackhaus: 8:00am On Aug 14, 2022 |
As long as the woman who doesn't want to have kids lets the man know right off the bat, all is well. 4 Likes |
| Re: Why Shouldn't It Be Okay, That Some Women Don't Want Kids by Klass99(f): 9:58am On Aug 14, 2022 |
... 5 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Why Shouldn't It Be Okay, That Some Women Don't Want Kids by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 10:44am On Aug 14, 2022 |
crackhaus: Marriage has changed you for the better. Who would have thought you could be this calm? Former Redpill ambassador. I like this version of you.  1 Like |
| Re: Why Shouldn't It Be Okay, That Some Women Don't Want Kids by IyaTola: 1:24pm On Aug 14, 2022 |
 Klass99: 3 Likes |
| Re: Why Shouldn't It Be Okay, That Some Women Don't Want Kids by crackhaus: 4:55pm On Aug 14, 2022 |
UyaiIncomparabl:Fine geh... Na story you dey find. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Why Shouldn't It Be Okay, That Some Women Don't Want Kids by IyaTola: 6:29pm On Aug 14, 2022 |
UyaiIncomparabl:NL red pillers are hypocrites. 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Why Shouldn't It Be Okay, That Some Women Don't Want Kids by Ebonygeek(f): 9:59pm On Aug 14, 2022 |
Thank you for this thread Op. The responses to the previous thread were so appalling. Just because a woman says she doesn't want kids, it means she has destroyed her womb. Any Nigerian man reading this thread, please accept it into your thick skull that not all women want to bear kids and they have various reasons for this. 3 Likes |
| Re: Why Shouldn't It Be Okay, That Some Women Don't Want Kids by IyaTola: 1:34pm On Aug 19, 2022 |
Ebonygeek: |
| Re: Why Shouldn't It Be Okay, That Some Women Don't Want Kids by IyaTola: 5:44am On Aug 20, 2022 |
Jamznato |
| Re: Why Shouldn't It Be Okay, That Some Women Don't Want Kids by EmahBoss(f): 4:36pm On Aug 20, 2022 |
If any woman desires not to have kids let her be without being shamed likewise any man who does not want kids. Couples who do not want kids should stop being shamed. A man and a woman can sure live together in matrimony and not desire to have kids. If your career is a priority then face it squarely without letting anyone lure you into parenthood. It is not as fun as society makes it seem. Kids are no longer means to show off wealth, rather they consume wealth. Let those who don't want kids and marriage be left alone. 2 Likes |
| Re: Why Shouldn't It Be Okay, That Some Women Don't Want Kids by EmahBoss(f): 4:40pm On Aug 20, 2022 |
Ebonygeek: My only concern in that thread was that she was not in agreement with her spouse for not wanting kids from the onset if the marriage. If a woman does not want kids, it is no crime, but let her inform her intending partner about it so they can make their own decision. 3 Likes |
| Re: Why Shouldn't It Be Okay, That Some Women Don't Want Kids by Nobody: 7:05pm On Aug 20, 2022 |
It's the policing, they are afraid of the fact that the era of policing women in Africa/Nigeria will soon come to an end. The fact that we are becoming aware of exercising our right to live as we see fit regardless of societal views and what is classified as the norm, away from culture subjugations and expectations that we have to conform to, to be seen a certain way acceptable only to them. 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Why Shouldn't It Be Okay, That Some Women Don't Want Kids by Blue86(m): 1:24pm On Aug 21, 2022 |
If people are still killing themselves over someone not wanting to have kids, let them go mind their business. But you that do not want kids : 1. Be with someone such as yourself 2. Do not fertlize, so that you may not commit murder by aborting a baby in your womb. That is, lock your womb ; let pregnancy not come up. |
| Re: Why Shouldn't It Be Okay, That Some Women Don't Want Kids by IyaTola: 4:06pm On Aug 27, 2022 |
EmahBoss: |
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