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Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. / You Must Marry Me - Lady Tells Married Man / My Wife Says She Is Not Sexually Attracted To Me (2) (3) (4)

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Re: . by Juliusdaughter: 11:39am On Aug 27, 2022
akinade28:

Disclaimer: I'm not married and I'm approaching my 30s. But I have had to let go of guys because of the reasons you mentioned. I cannot imagine myself getting married to a guy I'm not attracted to or vice versa. Why should I suffer someone's son because of my selfish reasons.
Sis, don't just consider what the man has to offer you (husband material and money). Also, consider what you want to offer the man. Marriage should be based on selflessness, not selfishness.
Attraction is also important in marriage. Don't marry someone you are not attracted to or admire. Attraction is important for good sex
life. You will suffer yourself and the man.
I'm tired of seeing threads of men complaining about their wives denying them sex, cheating or disrespecting them.
Thank you
Re: . by Seunforward: 12:02pm On Aug 27, 2022
Juliusdaughter:


Thank you so much. I have nothing to show for the past relationships where I had feelings for my partners, like you said, I was the one proving the love in most cases.
Like you said, what have you gained from your past relationships where you had feelings for your partners? Feelings are temporal and subject to change based on events and circumstances. Going from your past experience, what should matter to you now is how you will have a happy home, and attractions and feelings and attraction won't make you a happy home. If you had said you don't love the guy, I would have joined the bandwagon of those saying you should not marry him. Even at that, there are marriages that did not start on love. Both parties just agreed to give it a shot and with communication, commitment, and patience, they started having feelings for each other and the feelings eventually translated into love which is the bedrock of every happy home.

Many single who are asking you not to marry him because of what you said don't know a jack about marriage. They think marriage is all about sex which is more than that. Funny enough, some of them will jump at the man if they have access to him and divert his attention from you forever. In this era that many single ladies are looking for a man that his head is correct, you found one and you are saying he is dark and short? Is he impotent? Is he a dwarf? Is he not responsible? Please, give me his contact I have girls looking for such a man.

4 Likes

Re: . by Seunforward: 12:03pm On Aug 27, 2022
Samantha123:
Get married to your type of a man, someone you're compatible with, not because he's a husband material..

You can marry a husband material but not be happy in the marriage because you two would not be compatible..

What's the use of rushing into marriage only to be unhappy for the rest of your life

What is compatibility in marriage?
Re: . by intruder15(m): 12:19pm On Aug 27, 2022
Juliusdaughter:
I met a man through my long term friend and he has made his intentions about marriage known from the start. He loves me, is attracted to me and loves to do PDA when we are out together.

He has everything a woman would want in her husband, but I am not attracted to him neither do I have feelings for him. I love him as a friend tho because his physical attributes will not matter in that instance. I am slightly taller than him, even tho I'm not a tall person, I am dark skinned and he is darker than me. He has a really small stature and you wouldn't know he has money or works in good company.

He has told me his plans for us and it's a really good one, he works in top management role and he earns over 20 million naira per annum.

I have told him what I feel and he is really persistent, he says I should try and reciprocate his feelings and love towards me and the feelings will grow, that I shouldn't worry about the height of our kids angry
I can't lie, I don't feel proud this few times he's done PDA with me, I see the way that makes him happy, making me feel like a trophy wife.

There was this other guy I had feelings and attraction for, and it disappeared the first time I saw him and realized he isn't who he said he is. This confirms to me that feelings is flimsy and depends on circumstances.

To married people here, both long or short years in marriage; is attraction and feelings one of the major things holding down your marriage? Did you marry who you weren't really attracted to but you're happy now in the marriage? How will I deal with public perception of us especially when it's comes to flaunting him as my husband?
I have entered my late 20s and I don't wanna waste time, I don't wanna waste my time in vain waiting for the guy I'll feel all these for, what if he isn't worth it?


In marriage, communication is key. Feelings is relative because you can have feelings for anyone based on several reasons. What matters is the communication. Ability to forgive, sacrifice and let go.

You also need to have an open mind. With time, the feelings will come.

Re: . by wetlandagroalli: 12:36pm On Aug 27, 2022
My sister , don't based your decision on the physical attributes such as height or color .

Try and base yourself on God factor, commitment , love , selflessness of both parties to sacrifice for each other irrespective of the conditions of life .

If all these are there , the love would come in as much as you are ready to make it work .

Many are looking for this greater opportunity my Sister ,please don't misuse it and don't let other woman take advantage of this .

Wish you all the best in the relationship and marriage !
Re: . by akinade28(f): 1:47pm On Aug 27, 2022
Seunforward:

Like you said, what have you gained from your past relationships where you had feelings for your partners? Feelings are temporal and subject to change based on events and circumstances. Going from your past experience, what should matter to you know is how you will have a happy home and attractions and feelings and attraction won't make you a happy home. If you had said you don't love the guy, I would have joined the bandwagon of those saying you should not marry him. Even at that, there are marriages that did not start on love. Both parties just agreed to give it a shot and with communication, commitment, and patience, they started having feelings for each other and the feelings eventually translated into love which is the bedrock of every happy home.

Many single who are asking you not to marry him because of what you said don't know a jack about marriage. They think marriage is all about sex which is more than that. Funny enough, some of them will jump at the man if they have access to him and divert his attention from you forever. In this era that many single ladies are looking for a man that his head is correct, you found one and you are saying he is dark and short? Is he impotent? Is he a dwarf? Is he not responsible? Please, give me his contact I have girls looking for such a man.
I find your response interesting, however, I have a question for you. Let's assume the reverse was the case, and the man in question was someone you know personally. He came to seek your advice concerning the lady he wishes to marry. He has found a good girl to marry but he doesn't think the lady is attracted to him, and she has issues with his physical appearance. Will you give him this same advice?

3 Likes

Re: . by GboyegaD(m): 2:23pm On Aug 27, 2022
Marriage is about commitment. Attraction does matter and do does love however, to love someone is a decision one has to make.

1 Like

Re: . by Seunforward: 2:31pm On Aug 27, 2022
akinade28:

I find your response interesting, however, I have a question for you. Let's assume the reverse was the case, and the man in question was someone you know personally. He came to seek your advice concerning the lady he wishes to marry. He has found a good girl to marry but he doesn't think the lady is attracted to him, and she has issues with his physical appearance. Will you give him this same advice?
Well, I don't know the part of my response that interests you. To be candid, there's no advice I have for the man because he doesn't have any issues with the lady's physical appearance, it is the lady that needs every advice that will guide her to choose rightly.
Re: . by crackhaus: 2:31pm On Aug 27, 2022
Please wait for a man you will be physically attracted to. It won't be hard, lots of attractive men around.

I'm saying this on behalf of that man though, he shouldn't be with someone who will end up thinking she did him a favour by marrying him.

I wish I could talk some sense into him.

8 Likes

Re: . by Adunn1ade(f): 2:43pm On Aug 27, 2022
Please, give me his number. I want to give my sister.

2 Likes

Re: . by mariahAngel(f): 2:48pm On Aug 27, 2022
Juliusdaughter:

He is very attracted to me, it's me that don't find him attractive

If you don't find him attractive, then what is keeping you from telling him? I hope it's not his money sha.
This one you're acting like you don't know what to do.

1 Like

Re: . by babajeje123(m): 2:52pm On Aug 27, 2022
Adunn1ade:
Please, give me his number. I want to give my sister.

3 Likes

Re: . by Nobody: 2:57pm On Aug 27, 2022
This life no balance sha

Someone's dream is another person's nightmare

Don't marry him pls, be patient, your preference will come to you in no distant time.

1 Like

Re: . by akinade28(f): 3:10pm On Aug 27, 2022
Seunforward:

Well, I don't know the part of my response that interests you. To be candid, there's no advice I have for the man because he doesn't have any issues with the lady's physical appearance, it is the lady that needs every advice that will guide her to choose rightly.
Yes, the man doesn't have any issue with the lady's physical. But, the good girl he wants to marry has issues with his own physical appearance. So what advice wil you give the man, if he had sought your advice concerning this issue?
Re: . by Seunforward: 3:16pm On Aug 27, 2022
akinade28:

Yes, the man doesn't have any issue with the lady's physical. But, the good girl he wants to marry has issues with his own physical appearance. So what advice wil you give the man, if he had sought your advice concerning this issue?
Oh, I get you now. I will tell him to push further and be patient. But if the girl still insists, he should leave her.
Re: . by Helpout12345: 3:17pm On Aug 27, 2022
OP. If you don't have any feeling for him before marriage, there is high chance you will not develop genuine feelings to him later if you marry him.

It's difficult for anyone to see 100pct attribute they want in a potential life partner. Having said that, everyone knows their deal breakers. If your deal breaker is height, don't move forward. But if height is just a secondary attribute, you can try to focus on other good attributes you like in him to build your feelings for him.

Please don't marry him until you have developed feelings for him. I don't believe in feelings development after marriage.

In fact, feelings tend to decrease in most marriages because both parties will become more relaxed and show their true selves. During courtship, both parties are at their best behaviours trying to impress.

1 Like

Re: . by Nobody: 3:19pm On Aug 27, 2022
The fact that you don't like to be publicly seen with him in affectionate postures says all there is to know. Please for that man's sake don't marry him. You can deal with whatever comes out of your decision, i do not care. But that man deserves better than a selfish partner.

3 Likes

Re: . by Lovekeg: 3:44pm On Aug 27, 2022
I smell lies your story is so fake why do you guys love stressing people here on Nl with made-up stories tueeh!! You relocated with you husband to abroad now you don't like a man that wants to marry you shame on you for cooking up stories

4 Likes

Re: . by Gloriagee(f): 3:55pm On Aug 27, 2022
So wat kind of pda, does he enjoy? wink

Juliusdaughter:

I guess you and your wife are both not big on sex. What if he is? He hasn't asked for sex and I don't think he will until we are married. He is a principled Christian
Re: . by Nobody: 4:04pm On Aug 27, 2022
Go check for the word compatibility in your dictionary and you'll get your answer..
Seunforward:

What is compatibility in marriage?
Re: . by optm(m): 4:32pm On Aug 27, 2022
Not quite an easy one . Since you are a Christian, just tell God to help you love him and be attracted to him if he's the right man for you. Sometimes, people do not get to like certain persons at first but overtime , they become friends and in some cases , best friends. Just take your time about it. Do not be in a hurry calling it off .

2 Likes

Re: . by Bambam321(m): 5:27pm On Aug 27, 2022
what's PDA
Re: . by Noxico(m): 5:46pm On Aug 27, 2022
Wats PDA bikonu
Re: . by Seunforward: 5:48pm On Aug 27, 2022
At OP, what do you look out for in a man? Is it all about physical appearance and not the substance the man carries? Do this, list out all you desire in a man and prioritize them and see if this guy ticks most of your boxes. I read some of your past posts and was wondering why you will have prioritize outlook despite your experience in the hands of guys. You can't have it all in this life and from your description of the guy, I think he has substance. Give him a chance at least and see if you will have feelings for him.
Re: . by jeromestarks: 5:49pm On Aug 27, 2022
Juliusdaughter:
I met a man through my long term friend and he has made his intentions about marriage known from the start. He loves me, is attracted to me and loves to do PDA when we are out together.

He has everything a woman would want in her husband, but I am not attracted to him neither do I have feelings for him. I love him as a friend tho because his physical attributes will not matter in that instance. I am slightly taller than him, even tho I'm not a tall person, I am dark skinned and he is darker than me. He has a really small stature and you wouldn't know he has money or works in good company.

He has told me his plans for us and it's a really good one, he works in top management role and he earns over 20 million naira per annum.

I have told him what I feel and he is really persistent, he says I should try and reciprocate his feelings and love towards me and the feelings will grow, that I shouldn't worry about the height of our kids angry
I can't lie, I don't feel proud this few times he's done PDA with me, I see the way that makes him happy, making me feel like a trophy wife.

There was this other guy I had feelings and attraction for, and it disappeared the first time I saw him and realized he isn't who he said he is. This confirms to me that feelings is flimsy and depends on circumstances.

To married people here, both long or short years in marriage; is attraction and feelings one of the major things holding down your marriage? Did you marry who you weren't really attracted to but you're happy now in the marriage? How will I deal with public perception of us especially when it's comes to flaunting him as my husband?
I have entered my late 20s and I don't wanna waste time, I don't wanna waste my time in vain waiting for the guy I'll feel all these for, what if he isn't worth it?


I didn't read this long shit but I can confidently tell you that very soon, you will wish you married him.
On a second thought, don't marry him because he is a stupid man. He is so stupid that he wants to force love on a woman. It never ends well.
Re: . by general111(m): 7:01pm On Aug 27, 2022
pointblank247:
First wetin be PDA.

Second is that you should know that you are simply being a girl, girls don't recognize husband materials and some that do ,do not know how scarce they are, they are more attracted to bad boys with swag until they have been completely barterd, bot physically and emotionally and abandoned with some kids,

I really don't think you know how lucky you are
She met a husband material and she is still complaining..
Re: . by optm(m): 7:18pm On Aug 27, 2022
@op watch this clip by pastor kingsley okonkwo, it would help you decide better
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sjfBnjAF2I
Re: . by yemmit90: 8:23pm On Aug 27, 2022
One thing I have learnt about life is that, those who don't base their judgements on emotion and love are the most successful in life.

If Remi Tinubu were to be like this op, she would never married the like of Tinubu.

Nigeria women are the most selective women in Africa, go to Facebook pages of another countries in Africa, you will see fine fine babes and their not good looking husbands looking happy together.
Re: . by yemmit90: 8:29pm On Aug 27, 2022
jeromestarks:

I didn't read this long shit but I can confidently tell you that very soon, you will wish you married him.
On a second thought, don't marry him because he is a stupid man. He is so stupid that he wants to force love on a woman. It never ends well.

You are very right, the man is so stupid with low self worth mentality. Imaging someone with good paying job begging a woman to consider him. Las Las, he will end up training another man's children, so pathetic.
Re: . by Es350: 9:07pm On Aug 27, 2022
mariahAngel:


If you don't find him attractive, then what is keeping you from telling him? I hope it's not his money sha.
This one you're acting like you don't know what to do.
Spoiler alert: She loves his money. grin
Re: . by Ajibade123(m): 9:22pm On Aug 27, 2022
Juliusdaughter:
I met a man through my long term friend and he has made his intentions about marriage known from the start. He loves me, is attracted to me and loves to do PDA when we are out together.

He has everything a woman would want in her husband, but I am not attracted to him neither do I have feelings for him. I love him as a friend tho because his physical attributes will not matter in that instance. I am slightly taller than him, even tho I'm not a tall person, I am dark skinned and he is darker than me. He has a really small stature and you wouldn't know he has money or works in good company.

He has told me his plans for us and it's a really good one, he works in top management role and he earns over 20 million naira per annum.

I have told him what I feel and he is really persistent, he says I should try and reciprocate his feelings and love towards me and the feelings will grow, that I shouldn't worry about the height of our kids angry
I can't lie, I don't feel proud this few times he's done PDA with me, I see the way that makes him happy, making me feel like a trophy wife.

There was this other guy I had feelings and attraction for, and it disappeared the first time I saw him and realized he isn't who he said he is. This confirms to me that feelings is flimsy and depends on circumstances.

To married people here, both long or short years in marriage; is attraction and feelings one of the major things holding down your marriage? Did you marry who you weren't really attracted to but you're happy now in the marriage? How will I deal with public perception of us especially when it's comes to flaunting him as my husband?
I have entered my late 20s and I don't wanna waste time, I don't wanna waste my time in vain waiting for the guy I'll feel all these for, what if he isn't worth it?


you are in your late twenties and height is still your problem
you have seen a great man but height is why you would be rejecting him
is he shorter than Lionel messi or wizkid?
Re: . by Ajibade123(m): 9:29pm On Aug 27, 2022
akinade28:

Disclaimer: I'm not married and I'm approaching my 30s. But I have had to let go of guys because of the reasons you mentioned. I cannot imagine myself getting married to a guy I'm not attracted to or vice versa. Why should I suffer someone's son because of my selfish reasons.
Sis, don't just consider what the man has to offer you (husband material and money). Also, consider what you want to offer the man. Marriage should be based on selflessness, not selfishness.
Attraction is also important in marriage. Don't marry someone you are not attracted to or admire. Attraction is important for good sex
life. You will suffer yourself and the man.
I'm tired of seeing threads of men complaining about their wives denying them sex, cheating or disrespecting them.
what if he doesn't attracts you after marriage what will you do??
do you know a lot of good looking fit men becomes obese after marriage
what will you do in that case
divorce him or stop having sex with him?

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