Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

Talk to her that it is not all rosy as she thinks

Never cut a good relationship with your blood

Take your daughter from her. Your daughter is her cash cow.

1. Get a GOOD catholic boarding and enroll that girl in.
2. Come CLEAN to your sister about your finances.
3. Get a SINGLE lady you trust in your family to look after your child
4. Leave her with your aunt and STOP sending shi shi to her or your aunt.
Pick ONE

I've even got a feeling she's maltreating ur daughter at the moment. I doubt she has been treating her well

How well do you trust or believe in your friend, is your friend a female or a male? A female would be better, secondly if its a male, hope the said person has an understanding wife. If your friend is a good and reliable person, pls take your daughter from her, I dont know why some siblings can be so inconsiderate. Cant her husband pay his own kids fees. Its very annoying that your efforts are not appreciated. If your friend is trustworthy and kind pls take your daughter and make sure you hurry up plans so she can join you soonest. All the best

Blackdeewhy:
1. Get a GOOD catholic boarding and enroll that girl in.
2. Come CLEAN to your sister about your finances.
3. Get a SINGLE lady you trust in your family to look after your child
4. Leave her with your aunt and STOP sending shi shi to her or your aunt.
Pick ONE

No reasonable person should think boarding for his/her kids atm and that ur 4th point, Blood is thicker than water, so not sending shi shi to her would create enmity than can be so bad to him and the innocent kid on the long run

...

Blackdeewhy:
1. Get a GOOD catholic boarding and enroll that girl in.
2. Come CLEAN to your sister about your finances.
3. Get a SINGLE lady you trust in your family to look after your child
4. Leave her with your aunt and STOP sending shi shi to her or your aunt.
Pick ONE

She is aware that I don't have papers and i am not financial buoyant, I don't have anyone in the family who I can trust with my daughter my friend is the only person I have in mind

Na wah o!
Even babymama never demand reach that level.

What about your daughter's mother?
How are you sure most of what you're sending is not spent on her children than your daughter?
Are you sure she's treating your daughter well?

Offpointng:
I've got a feeling she's even maltreating ur daughter at the moment

Me too I have a feeling she is not taking good care of her because most of the time she doesn't want me to speak with her on video call

Chidiesta:


Me too I have a feeling she is not taking good care of her because most of the time she doesn't want me to speak with her on video call

A big red flag and I advice you do something very fast bout it. but what bout ur mum?

Hafizah:
How well do you trust or believe in your friend, is your friend a female or a male? A female would be better, secondly if its a male, hope the said person has an understanding wife. If your friend is a good and reliable person, pls take your daughter from her, I dont know why some siblings can be so inconsiderate. Cant her husband pay his own kids fees. Its very annoying that your efforts are not appreciated. If your friend is trustworthy and kind pls take your daughter and make sure you hurry up plans so she can join you soonest. All the best

She is a female and I am also a female, she is my childhood friend my sister knows her well and I trust her too and I strongly believe that she will take care of her better than my own sister.

mariahAngel:
Na wah o!
Even babymama never demand reach that level.

What about your daughter's mother?
How are you sure most of what you're sending is not spent on her children than your daughter?
Are you sure she's treating your daughter well?

I am a female lol I am her mother. I am sure she is not taking care of her well because sometime she doesn't want me to video call her

Chidiesta:


I am a female lol I am her mother. I am sure she is not taking care of her well because sometime she doesn't want me to video call her

Chai!

Please, make sure your daughter leaves her place.

Chidiesta:
Good day nairalanders, I live in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria. She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money. She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children. I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four. I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.
I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.
I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.
I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea. I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

This your friend that you want to hand over your daughter to, is she the type of person that will take bullets for you

If yes, then go ahead

But that idea is just temporary because the best option is for you to do everything possible to relocate your daughter to where you are or look for private boarding school for primary classes

Anyone you want to give that child, to will use her to milk you financially

Also make sure you give her to a family that will not abuse her in any form

As for your sister, you don't need to quarrel with her, just plan quickly especially now that there are about starting a new session

You have so send some one she knows to her house and when the person gets there, speak with your sister that you have found a boarding school where she will attend and live in the dormitory till she is on holidays

In your sister mind, she is coming back during holidays but in your own mind, you are done with her

Whatever questions she wants to ask you, be polite and intelligent with your response

If any of your family members calls you after her exit to ask you why

Just tell them she is better of in the boarding house

Your sister will be the one to report herself to them

Op...if your blood Sis can be doing that to your daughter... what expectations have you from your friend.... kindly follow the advice of the poster above ...... enroll her in a standard catholic boarding school....even during holidays... she'd be covered with much care and godly training.


There are some pupils in my school whom are in your shoes....it aches my heart seeing the way those kids are treated...they dare not tell anyone including you the diaspora parents...but as a Teacher...we get to know each of them and sometimes comfort them.

I'd recommend Louis ville girls high school...they have both primary and secondary.
You won't regret enrolling your child in a Catholic school and she'd be treated equally like other pupils...unlike your sister's house where she'd be harshly treated while she suffers in silence.


In all that you decide to do...do not fight with your sister....give her positive reasons why you think she should in the boarding.....no one knows tomorrow.

Cheers

What happened to the mother of the child abi she don't have mum?
What about your mum?
What about the child's grandma from her mum side?

When relationship hit the rock, as long as there is a kid, we should swallow our pride and do the needful.
Nobody will take care of a child like the mum and the grand mums.

This friend is good today, I agree but she may be worst than your sis tomorrow.

If those options are not available make arrangement to take the child to a nunnery. Yes, the chikd will be taken care of.

Are you male or female?

If you’re a man and the mother of that lil girl is alive and well, please return that child to her mum. She needs her mum at this point of her life

If you’re female like I suspect, your best option may be to take the boarding school route.

Ask that friend of yours to help you scout for a good boarding school and enroll your kid there. Pay something extra for additional upkeep and have your sis or friend pick her up during holidays. This way, you’re sure your child is ok and at the same time, avenues for milking will be duly blocked.

You don’t need to fight with your sis, just peacefully remove your child from her custody at the moment because anyone that could divert money meant for a child’s schooling to personal use is not a trustworthy person. Quietly disengage from the previous arrangement.

All the best!

descarado:
What happened to the mother of the child abi she don't have mum?
What about your mum?
What about the child's grandma from her mum side?

When relationship hit the rock, as long as there is a kid, we should swallow our pride and do the needful.
Nobody will take care of a child like the mum and the grand mums.

This friend is good today, I agree but she may be worst than your sis tomorrow.

If those options are not available make arrangement to take the child to a nunnery. Yes, the chikd will be taken care of.

Nne, op is the mum.
You can imagine how helpless she feels as she cannot rely on her own elder sister to take care of her child.

.

Chidiesta:


I am a female lol I am her mother. I am sure she is not taking care of her well because sometime she doesn't want me to video call her

You are a woman.
Should have specified earlier.
What about the dad or he didn't acknowledge the pregnancy or child.

If that is the case, make use of nunnery.
At least they do this kind of work unbiased.
At the right time, you come for your child.
You won't regret it.
Goodluck.

07kjb:
Talk to her that it is not all rosy as she thinks


Never cut a good relationship with your blood

So what's good about OP's relationship with her sister?

@OP, it is a difficult situation. Your relationship will never be the same again with your sister if you go ahead to involve your friend. You also have to consider your friend's stability. Is she married? Is she opened to relocation? What happens if and when she decides to relocate? You'll take your kids back to your sister?

My advice is to hasten your kids' travel arrangement. What exactly is the issue? You have been sending home some money...so what's the issue?

Chidiesta:


She is a female and I am also a female, she is my childhood friend my sister knows her well and I trust her too and I strongly believe that she will take care of her better than my own sister.

Then go ahead, take your daughter from your sister and hurry your plans for your daughter to join you asap. All the best

Chidiesta:


She is a female and I am also a female, she is my childhood friend my sister knows her well and I trust her too and I strongly believe that she will take care of her better than my own sister.

Nice!
Your friend can stand in as a guardian. Visiting, relating and pick up during holidays. This may be a better long term option than having the child live permanently with her.

Some family members are more dangerous than complete strangers that you'd begin to wonder and doubt your blood relationship with them.

Your sister has found a colony and a goldmine in you through your daughter. A very big office she has set up.

If she can use your money to sort her own kids school fees before yours, you can only begin to imagine how she gets treated with food in comparison to her own kids.

Why some women are this evil and demonic to other people's kids beats my imagination.

Find a way to ease your kid out from her care as fast as possible but be prepared for a battle between her and your friend over the loss of her evil enterprise exactly the same way the people holding Nigeria down will fight anyone trying to free it from their stranglehold.

I wish you the wisdom to tackle this without much fighting.

I'd advise you to arrange with your friend through your daughter's school management to pick her up and change her school before them poison or kill your innocent daughter.

mariahAngel:


Nne, op is the mum.
You can imagine how helpless she feels as she cannot rely on her elder sister to take care of her child.

Just seeing it. Thanks.
Have answered appropriately.

I know Catholic nuns do something like this.
A daughter of a very strict disciplinarian got pregnant by one agboro and it was a slap on the family. The babe disappeared and reappeared like after one Yr. When I asked her, she told me what happened and that her dad pays for the child upkeep in a nunnery until he can bear to face reality. She went back to school.She said the place houses some children by mostly parents that are in a compromising positions to live with their kids and they visit often especially teen mums. That was somewhere in imo state. My mistake was not asking where.
It won't last forever. I do feel for her.

07kjb:
Talk to her that it is not all rosy as she thinks

Never cut a good relationship with your blood

You cut off roaches in your life if you want to succeed and breath fresh air. Blood inclusive.

This world is heartless. For you to survive, kill emotion.

This your story really moved me to type.
Mehnnnnnnn I am speechless.
People get mind oooo
U mean your BLOOD Sis abi ADOPTED Sis?

If it is me, you see this last money she collected and used to pay her children school fee, i will make sure she returns it back. I will not need the money but people wey need d money will arrange her.

For those saying is your blood and shit. This your Sis can kill and not look back.
In this age of video calls that is when your Sister has not allowed you to speak and see your daughter and you are here still typing? Are you sure ur daughter is even going to school?

You are a woman hustling without papers abroad just to make ends means and not a man and your Sister no pity you. Please stop asking questions and take your daughter out of that place immediately.

If your daughter is at the age of going to secondary school, use your friend and take her to a Catholic boarding or any other Christian boarding school.
Most friends are better than siblings.
Instead of having just a friend looking after her, see if there's another friend here you trust.
It will help to foster transparency than just having one friend.

Ensure that this your friend is not from frying pan to fire situation you are about to enter.
Wish the best and pray that God grant you grace and speed so you be stable to bring your daughter over quickly. Cos no one can take good care of her than you.

I know such places.

descarado:

Just seeing it. Thanks.
Have answered appropriately.

I know Catholic nuns do something like this.
A daughter of a very strict disciplinarian got pregnant by one agboro and it was a slap on the family. The babe disappeared and reappeared like after one Yr. When I asked her, she told me what happened and that her dad pays for the child upkeep in a nunnery until he can bear to face reality. She went back to school.She said the place houses some children by mostly parents that are in a compromising positions to live with their kids and they visit often especially teen mums. That was somewhere in imo state. My mistake was not asking where.
It won't last forever. I do feel for her.

Even bible said there exists a friend that is closer than a brother... Pls collect your children from that your wicked sister. Put her with your friend and make sure its strictly transactional. Don't do pls help me... Let her know it is a business deal. Discuss how much you will be paying her and how much you will be sending for the children's upkeep. Strictly business and if she doesn't deliver, consider other arrangements. If you feel your friend will not deliver and need someone reliable to do this for you, inbox me. I have children within your kids age range as well and have a school that I am running which they can enroll.
Good luck.

If the story is true
Your sister is not doing well, she is self-centered and ingrate fellow.

Let me tell you nobody can care for one child better except the parent. I doubt your friend will do better than your sister

Where is your wife?
Modified: Op is a woman, woman hating woman. This gender cannot help themselves. Very bad

I suggest you take her to good school with good hostel accommodation pending the time she join you Abroad.