Things like this breaks my heart.
I wish I could help you take care of your daughter until you are ready to get her.

You don't have other siblings that could help you take care of your daughter outside that friend. I want to believe you know your friend, and you know what she is capable of.

How come your sister wants to make you shoulder all of their responsibilities even though she is married.

Chidiesta:
Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

U are not being nice bt rather encouraging irresponsibility.


The big question is why can't she take care of her own family??

People should learn to be responsible for their families and cut their coat according to their material. How can u be paying school fees for her kid and its more the ur kids school fees?

isn't she earning an income? if so what is she doing with it?

Let her know this the the only amount u can afford to give her and after that nothing more will come from ur end untill next year or whichever timeliness u set for them for ur convenience and sanity. This will help them adjust the mindset to what they can afford only.

Here is the shocker if anything happens to u or ur finances Godforbid they will move on and they might not treat u or ur kids like u would expect. be nice bt be wise!

You see many Nigerians are greedy and they will be shouting leader. There are are many friends that are even better than blood relations, if your friend is one of them, Congratulations. You can tell your friend to help you search for an affordable boarding school that is safe for that girl, it will just be like she's helping you to change her school. That way your sister will not see it as she is taking the child from her. From there put all the girl monitor and school cater to her care. Because, I believe your sister should help you to grow and since she refused to, tactically withdraw from her too. I believe her children have father that should cater for their needs in combination with whatever you send to her.

07kjb:
Talk to her that it is not all rosy as she thinks

Never cut a good relationship with your blood

I have nothing more than this to say. Even if all my family members are mad and roaming on the streets, we roam together.

Family above everything.

07kjb:
Talk to her that it is not all rosy as she thinks

Never cut a good relationship with your blood

Bros some blood relationship is better to avoid them completely, this is just one of them.

Chidiesta:
Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

Take your daughter away from her. Before it turns into something else. Why can't your daughter relocate to meet you?

Chidiesta:


She is a female and I am also a female, she is my childhood friend my sister knows her well and I trust her too and I strongly believe that she will take care of her better than my own sister.

Sometimes you just have to follow your instincts

Chidiesta:
Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

Your sister is just envious of you and she is presently taking your daughter hostage for ransom. If you are sure of your friend's intention, I will say you should find out from your daughter if she is willing to stay with her and then proceed on the plan. Alternatively, out your daughter in a good burden school here while your friend only help you visit her and take her home for holidays pending when you are buoyant enough to move her to your base. Lest I forget, what about her dad or his relatives?

SocialJustice:
Take your daughter away from her. Before it turns into something else. Why can't your daughter relocate to meet you?

She said earlier she doesn't have papers yet and she is going through a lot to raise the money the sister keep siphoning

07kjb:
Talk to her that it is not all rosy as she thinks

Never cut a good relationship with your blood

which kind mentality is that? NEVER CUT FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS...see his sister get husband and the husband should pay for school fee and op should just support a little he can.

imasong005:
Things like this breaks my heart.
I wish I could help you take care of your daughter until you are ready to get her.

You don't have other siblings that could help you take care of your daughter outside that friend. I want to believe you know your friend, and you know what she is capable of.

How come your sister wants to make you shoulder all of their responsibilities even though she is married.

She needs to sit down and have a long conversation with her sister. Family remains family. They just need to talk. She needs to appeal to her human nature.

It is wrong to cut ties with family. Trust me, it's not good.

Look for a boarding school for her. Tell your sister things are a little bit down there.....but you can still assist her within your capabilities.
Plan to relocate your daughter to join you without her knowing.

seunak2016:
which kind mentality is that? NEVER CUT FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS...see[b] his sister get husband and the husband should pay for school fee and op should just support a little he can[/b].

Agreed.

Chidiesta:
Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

My brother find an alternate arrangement and just keep praying for your kids…she sees you as an ATM and her greed can’t let her think about the future…she is 100% in it for what she can get now…not what she can get in the future…for her your kids are welcome to come investment…

I live in the USA…I know that taking care of family abroad and doing so back home is not funny…they will just set you up to work yourself to sickness…

Apply wisdom and handle the situation in a way that will protect your kids:

Chidiesta:
Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

Thread carefully.

Restrategize bro. Put up a fake story that will look as if it will take a very long time before you can send money home except she wants you back home. Let her understand that the little you can get through, she should manage judiciously. If possible, change your number for sometime.

She would sit up..

07kjb:
Talk to her that it is not all rosy as she thinks

Never cut a good relationship with your blood

Blood never do you something before that's why .
@ op please if you trust your friend, Let her take your daughter from your sister. it's obvious she's also maltreating the poor girl, i don't see a reason she doesn't want you to talk to your daughter on video call. please act fast for the sake of the little girl. i know what i passed through in the hands of My mother's sister growing up, it took me years to really forgive her from my heart

chaiii. some people can be so greedy. such a greedy sister.

Chidiesta:
Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

first your daughter is not save in your sister hand. And this is difficult to say because the friend own too might be worse. Look for someone neutral to search for a burden school. Let your daughter be there pending when you will be stable to take her with you. Note nobody can ever like your child like you do. People don't care what you are passing through. They only want exploit you.

mariahAngel:


They might turn her to a maid.

Having that in mind...
That's why I used the terms "Trustworthy & Reliable"

Chidiesta:


I am a female lol I am her mother. I am sure she is not taking care of her well because sometime she doesn't want me to video call her

Ah kindly withdarw ur wards...ile lasheni n gbe o..she may be maltreating ur child..conside d second option..it 4 ur own gud.

Chidiesta:
Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

There is a very standard Christian school I can recommend to you where your 8 year old can be. Well taken care of. You will never regret it if you put your child there.

Then Run

Chidiesta:
Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

I use God beg you please take your child away from your sister and find someone you can trust a little to look after her. please don't be afraid as some family can't be pleased.

God forbid bad thing, if something happened to you and your child is with your aunt, your child will suffer and your sister is an INGRATE who will never remember your good deeds.

even if na your sister send you abroad or raise you while you are young, it doesn't mean she should be doing like that. your sister husband should pay for the school fee not you

Chidiesta:
Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

I understand. Even though am not in your shoes but I lived in the UK and most people in Nigeria think we are rich and abroad have a tree to pluck money. So everyone want to drain you. Taking your child to Germany is a good idea because your sister might not be giving her the proper love even though she is going to a good school. Your visa suppose to cover for your daughter because mine can cover for my wife and daughter even though am not married. Just be wise my dear in sending money and try to take your daughter to Germany to get the love from u

Some family members are not worthy to be called a family. I have had this kinda of experience but in a different scenario. Please take your daughter away from her. She's using your daughter to cash out from you, and that's very selfish and inconsiderate of her.

07kjb:
Talk to her that it is not all rosy as she thinks

Never cut a good relationship with your blood

Where is the good relationship??

Family is not always about blood. Dont use your good family experience to judge another man's own.

Omoluabi16:
I can't comprehend how siblings who grew up together begin to treat their nephew/niece like shit. God forbid if you no dey that your sister will never spend a dime on your kid. I can bet her family takes the lion share of whatever you send.... And there's the irresponsible husband who allows his sister train his kids.

You never see anything. The best thing is for the OP to take her child with her or enroll the child in a good boarding house.

If she fails to act fast, she would lose the motherly influence and deep connection with that child. She should better act fast.

Chidiesta:
Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

if ur own sister is behaving like this, do u think someone dat u claim t be ur "friend is better? someone that is not related to u, omo let me tell u, the best attitude u can ever get is from ur own family, Both u and ur sis, need to trash this out, the economy is hard and is also hard for u, besides where's the husband of ur sis in all this, abi is she a single mother, if she is then both of u should reach a compromise, No body would ever take care of ur child like ur own sister, even if she maltreats them, is nothing compared to wat ur so called friend would do, if u think ur own sis is a cash cow go ahead and give ur child to ur friend, abi u want the husband of ur fiend 2 rape d child continously, if it happens do u think ur friend would av d conscience to tell u, when ur friend and ur daughter is walking in d Road, she might easily forget ur daughter in d bus and go down cos she no get value 4 ur girl, she only realizes when she gets t work that she left ur girl in d bus, u would hear eweeeo! Leave ur daughter with ur sis and let both of u talk and reach a compromise, she should be willing to take her own children to lesser schools, ration food, cut down on luxuries, basic necessity are Food, clothing, Home and water, education for a child another is luxury

Hafizah:
Then go ahead, take your daughter from your sister and hurry your plans for your daughter to join you asap. All the best

Join asap.she never secure her own paper. You guys dey read so?

descarado:
What happened to the mother of the child abi she don't have mum?
What about your mum?
What about the child's grandma from her mum side?

When relationship hit the rock, as long as there is a kid, we should swallow our pride and do the needful.
Nobody will take care of a child like the mum and the grand mums.

This friend is good today, I agree but she may be worst than your sis tomorrow.

If those options are not available make arrangement to take the child to a nunnery. Yes, the chikd will be taken care of.

OP THIS IS THE BEST ADVISE SO FAR .
Let the mother of the innocent baby come and take her if she’s still alive

No need of cutting the relationship