Your sister is wicked and inconsiderate! Someone advice you take her to a Catholic private school! Please do that very fast, but don't do it to create ememity, first tell your sister you want the best for your Daughter, that u want to transfer her to a boarding school, then tell your friend to open an account for your Daughter, tell your friend to go there make friends with the director or principal of the school, the principal or Reverend sister's number you can always reach on video calls to talk to your daughter.. buy this small nokia touch light phone for her.let her leave your sisters place. Your friend to might take advantage of you in time to come.this is the best way to handle it

mariahAngel:


Nne, op is the mum.
You can imagine how helpless she feels as she cannot rely on her own elder sister to take care of her child.

What about the dad

Chidiesta:
Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

Take your daughter.

Your sister took care of her kids and herself first from your money. It says a lot.

Your daughter might be suffering and you would not know it.

Find a friend or a boarding school, take your child there and send very little to your sister.

Start saving to bring your daughter to Germany

You also need someone to be your pillar to support you through hard decisions.

Newborn27:
Op...if your blood Sis can be doing that to your daughter... what expectations have you from your friend....

Cheers

Some friends could be better than your relative.

Guyman01:


She said earlier she doesn't have papers yet and she is going through a lot to raise the money the sister keep siphoning

Thank you. Some relatives are wicked. She should look for a someone she can trust to care for her daughter.

In my opinion, don’t take your daughter to live with your friend. She is also a single mom like you with commitments and may not have time for the kid.

Is your sister’s husband unemployed and irresponsible? Why can’t he take care of his family?
Did you know your sister as the greedy and selfish type? If yes, then it was your bad asking her to take care of your daughter.

You said you have a one year old kid. This means the child was born in Germany. Haba aunty, you should slow down and take things easy with the way you frolick with men. You should have sorted out your 8 year old problem first before birthing another.

My advice is for you to renegotiate with your sister. Tell her straight up you can only afford your daughter’s school fees and feeding allowance for now. Then always insist on a video call with your daughter.

If your sister isn’t down with your proposal, then ask your friend to assist with enrolling her in a boarding school. Under no circumstances should you hand your daughter over to your friend. Trust me, single parenting is never the best option.

Acidosis:


So what's good about OP's relationship with her sister?

@OP, it is a difficult situation. Your relationship will never be the same again with your sister if you go ahead to involve your friend. You also have to consider your friend's stability. Is she married? Is she opened to relocation? What happens if and when she decides to relocate? You'll take your kids back to your sister?

My advice is to hasten your kids' travel arrangement. What exactly is the issue? You have been sending home some money...so what's the issue?

Na Edo gal. Hustle no easy that way o

meetme01:


Thread carefully.

Restrategize bro. Put up a fake story that will look as if it will take a very long time before you can send money home except she wants you back home. Let her understand that the little you can get through, she should manage judiciously. If possible, change your number for sometime.

She would sit up..

devil don't understand dialogue. The best you can do is to run as fast as you can. He should Take the daughter away imidiately, I mean now

Chidiesta:
Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

Are you sure she takes care of your daughters like they are hers, I will advise you to send some of your friends in Nigeria to check the the wellbeing of your kids unannounced. Cos families don't treat families the way she is doing you.

morinto:

I understand. Even though am not in your shoes but I lived in the UK and most people in Nigeria think we are rich and abroad have a tree to pluck money. So everyone want to drain you. Taking your child to Germany is a good idea because your sister might not be giving her the proper love even though she is going to a good school. Your visa suppose to cover for your daughter because mine can cover for my wife and daughter even though am not married. Just be wise my dear in sending money and try to take your daughter to Germany to get the love from u

Which visa?

lawrenzooo:

Some friends could be better than your relative.

For sure

That your sister sha.Na real "Olivia Twist" she be.

Yes it does but on low key. U welcome. But I think that should be a last resort though.

descarado:

Thank you.
I never know such places exist.
If she is interested,she should make enquiry so she can have peace of mind.

vickydevoka:

What about the dad

what if the dad is sparm donor?

Chidiesta:
Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

When you die, your sister will move on.
Look for a way to get your child away from her. From what I have seen, anytime she ask you for money and you don't give her she will take it out of your child.
Na true I dey tell U


Sister from hell fire

DBestDoc:
Are you male or female?

If you’re a man and the mother of that lil girl is alive and well, please return that child to her mum. She needs her mum at this point of her life

If you’re female like I suspect, your best option may be to take the boarding school route.

Ask that friend of yours to help you scout for a good boarding school and enroll your kid there. Pay something extra for additional upkeep and have your sis or friend pick her up during holidays. This way, you’re sure your child is ok and at the same time, avenues for milking will be duly blocked.

You don’t need to fight with your sis, just peacefully remove your child from her custody at the moment because anyone that could divert money meant for a child’s schooling to personal use is not a trustworthy person. Quietly disengage from the previous arrangement.

All the best!

Although the OP is a woman, but a baby mama might do worse

Chidiesta
Your sister feels entitled and feels you're swimming in money.

If you trust your friend will take good care of your daughter, then drop her with your friend.

You can assist your sister but never bight more than you can chew. Draw the line. You'd be shocked she'll build a house b4 you the way she's going. When you have nothing to show for your sojourn for 20 years in Germany, you'll be used as an example of those who travelled and blew their life away.

Meanwhile, she would have built a house in Nigeria, her kids who you trained would be graduates, some having white collar jobs in the West.

neoG:
This your story really moved me to type.
Mehnnnnnnn I am speechless.
People get mind oooo
U mean your BLOOD Sis abi ADOPTED Sis?

If it is me, you see this last money she collected and used to pay her children school fee, i will make sure she returns it back. I will not need the money but people wey need d money will arrange her.

For those saying is your blood and shit. This your Sis can kill and not look back.
In this age of video calls that is when your Sister has not allowed you to speak and see your daughter and you are here still typing? Are you sure ur daughter is even going to school?

You are a woman hustling without papers abroad just to make ends means and not a man and your Sister no pity you. Please stop asking questions and take your daughter out of that place immediately.

If your daughter is at the age of going to secondary school, use your friend and take her to a Catholic boarding or any other Christian boarding school.
Most friends are better than siblings.
Instead of having just a friend looking after her, see if there's another friend here you trust.
It will help to foster transparency than just having one friend.

Ensure that this your friend is not from frying pan to fire situation you are about to enter.
Wish the best and pray that God grant you grace and speed so you be stable to bring your daughter over quickly. Cos no one can take good care of her than you.

I swear adopted sure pass blood. Anything blood na scam.

SocialJustice:
Thank you. Some relatives are wicked. She should look for a someone she can trust to care for her daughter.

as far as it's Nigeria, nobody to trust

I was in a similar relationship with my two sisters until May this year. After realizing that the two were building their houses in Ikorodu, using money they are constantly demanding from me; I realized I was dealing with two horrible people; they are not even considerate given my fragile health condition and my own pregnant wife.
One even scammed me after lying about health conditions to and another used a rubbish story about her husband been in police trouble which I almost fell for. My own blood sisters; same mother and father oh! Even my younger brother who is only 20 years old and in school is now acting like them and recently asked me for 200k which he needs to fix his result. I had to a mad man and cut off every single financial commitment to them. And I’m never ever going to give cash to them ever again only whenever I feel like and it will be rarely.
Don’t mind people telling you to talk to your sister, I realized that most of those who advised me to be patient were also parasites and totally useless people sucking their respective families dry and who see nothing wrong in younger ones living on their elders.
So far you keep giving her, she will continue milking you and when you eventually run down, she will laugh at for been a loser. Get your child to a decent boarding school, and have someone you trust other than her to take care of the child. Cut off the relationship for a year, let her see how important the small you are doing really is. I’ve been where you are and since I cut off that useless relationship I’ve been doing better things and developing my own projects too. Shey na me to build houses for two sisters married to lazy and useless men. Too many ungrateful souls in this world.

God is your strength

Chidiesta:


Me too I have a feeling she is not taking good care of her because most of the time she doesn't want me to speak with her on video call

Where's your husband?, let's start from there

All is well

Offpointng:


No reasonable person should think boarding for his/her kids atm and that ur 4th point, Blood is thicker than water, so not sending shi shi to her would create enmity than can be so bad to him and the innocent kid on the long run

Sometimes, that enmity is needed. I have had to cut off several family members when they they started being overly demanding. Everyone is looking for someone to make their client.

Chidiesta:


She is aware that I don't have papers and i am not financial buoyant, I don't have anyone in the family who I can trust with my daughter my friend is the only person I have in mind

Then contact your friend and let your daughter stay with your friend. Some friends are better than some family members.

Explain things to her and make her see reasons and reduce sending plenty money, as mannas don't fall in Germany from my heaven
And taking your kids from your sister to your friend might not go down well with her. Because the angel you know is better than the devil you don't know

My own advice to you is little, just call your sister and the two of you should discuss on how to reduce the financial burden like probably enroll those kids in a more cheaper school. Not everyone you can entrust your wards with it is a dangerous adventure. And from what you say, you have to children with her, even if you are in the country, do you think it is easy to take care of two children, moreover where is the mother of your kids.

Acidosis:


So what's good about OP's relationship with her sister?

@OP, it is a difficult situation. Your relationship will never be the same again with your sister if you go ahead to involve your friend. You also have to consider your friend's stability. Is she married? Is she opened to relocation? What happens if and when she decides to relocate? You'll take your kids back to your sister?

My advice is to hasten your kids' travel arrangement. What exactly is the issue? You have been sending home some money...so what's the issue?

but you read somewhere she said she doesn’t have papers yet?

imasong005:
Things like this breaks my heart.
I wish I could help you take care of your daughter until you are ready to get her.

You don't have other siblings that could help you take care of your daughter outside that friend. I want to believe you know your friend, and you know what she is capable of.

How come your sister wants to make you shoulder all of their responsibilities even though she is married.

Because the husband is an accomplice. These things happen all the time. If she refuses to drop money, the husband would start raising tension and asking the OP should come take her child, so that his wife can focus on their own kids. The OP would now calm down and send the money. While hoping for the day she comes for her daughter or the girl is independent enough to survive a dormitory.

Chidiesta, no be so?

Klass99:


You made me smile, what exactly is good about the relationship between OP and her sister? OP is the one being good by taking care of her sister's responsibility towards her children, while the sister is being a typical grabber and entitled relative. There is nothing good about parasitic relatives who leech off you, who only know how to take, take and take some more, hardly ever giving back in return. Blood should never be thicker than water when it comes to such relatives.

All this blood thing na scam ooo...
See wetin her blood dey do her.. Na person wey do me good be my blood

hope4nigeria:
as far as it's Nigeria, nobody to trust

Sad. How old is the girl?

Chidiesta:


I am a female lol I am her mother. I am sure she is not taking care of her well because sometime she doesn't want me to video call her

Get your child out of there fast