Offpointng:


No reasonable person should think boarding for his/her kids atm and that ur 4th point, Blood is thicker than water, so not sending shi shi to her would create enmity than can be so bad to him and the innocent kid on the long run

Blood is thicker than water, yet same blood dey use siblings for money rituals.

OkoRemi2023:
what of their dad? single parenting have a big advantage and people will say otherwise


where is your mom?



is your married sister the only siblings you've?



don't ever keep your kids with your friends, the only worse thing your sister can do is not to feed them well but your friend my abuse them verbally, sexually and psychologically



and do you've direct communication with the management where your kids are schooling, if you don't, you goofed. you have make your jobless sister to taste your hard earned money and you don't want him to want more?

Her dad denied the pregnancy, my mum is late , I also have a elder brother who is married with kids but I don't trust his wife with my child. I don't have a direct communication with the school, she is not jobless she is a business woman she has a clothing store

pocohantas:


Because the husband is an accomplice. These things happen all the time. If she refuses to drop money, the husband would start raising tension and asking the OP should come take her child, so that his wife can focus on their own kids. The OP would now calm down and send the money. While hoping for the day she comes for her daughter or the girl is independent enough to survive a dormitory.

Chidiesta, no be so?

Family embezzling or wasting money of abroadians is an established and cherished naija culture

ibinaboonline:
Considering the going ons in our country these days, no matter how much you trust your friend, I wouldn't recommend handing your girl child to him, even if he's married. I mean, girl children aren't safe in their own homes living with mom and pop. Come to think of it, how safe and loved and properly cared for is your daughter in your sister's hands who clearly see you (in extension, her) as a cash cow? It's not just about the guardians, it can also be the environment. That's why my first question is, where is the girl's mother? A situation like this have a tendency to end in emotional or even physical injuries for the kids. Where is the child's mom?

I am her mother my friend is a female I strongly believe she can take of my daughter better than my sister

May God bless OP's handwork so he can send more because children grow and so do their need for clothe, education, and food. 300k is like 600 Euros.

But doesn't your sister have a husband to cater for his own children? If yes, then why disturb you for what should be her husband's responsibility.

Chidiesta:
Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

Niegria is not okay now ooo...everything is expensive and hard .....dont let one outsider sell your pikin for money ritual....

ibinaboonline:
Considering the going ons in our country these days, no matter how much you trust your friend, I wouldn't recommend handing your girl child to him, even if he's married. I mean, girl children aren't safe in their own homes living with mom and pop. Come to think of it, how safe and loved and properly cared for is your daughter in your sister's hands who clearly see you (in extension, her) as a cash cow? It's not just about the guardians, it can also be the environment. That's why my first question is, where is the girl's mother? A situation like this have a tendency to end in emotional or even physical injuries for the kids. Where is the child's mom?

you apparently didn't read the thread, Op is female and her friend too is female.

GloriousGbola:


Family embezzling or wasting money of abroadians is an established and cherished naija culture

Well said. My aunties and uncles showed my dad shege! They milk in conjuction with their husbands o. If my dad remember am, e fit start to cry.

YourFavorite21:
I think the best option for you now is to take your daughter to a good boarding school, then she can only go to your friend's house during holidays, Nobody can treat and take care of a child like the parents.

I am not a fan of boarding school I want her to attend a day school and with my friend so I can video/ call her anytime I want so she won't feel left out

OP people are talking about good boarding school here for kids her age. Are you not seeing the comments?

Take your daughter from your sister ASAP!
No need to discuss anything as she can't change.
There is always a convenient plan B.


When your daughter has left her house,it is now left if you will allow her to continue to milk you in other ways.

I've even got a feeling she's maltreating ur daughter at the moment. I doubt she has been treating her well

Na you know the kind person you dey deal with Sir. However, I'll advice that you have a candid and loving, heart to heart talk with her. If, after doing this she doesn't change, then take your kids to a better person you can trust. Don't, stop doing what you can for her though.

May the good Lord help you out. Diaspora life no too easy like that and it's painful to have your own blood making things worse for you.

SocialJustice:
Take your daughter away from her. Before it turns into something else. Why can't your daughter relocate to meet you?

I don't have papers yet

Chidiesta:
Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

Take your daughter to another person because if you don't she will not stop, you're her everything

Evolutionlove:
Sigh Nigeria and Bearing too many unwanted kids. Most Nigerians are CURSED walahi. You that you are In a better and a prosperous nation have Just only one child but she that she Is In a Cursed, No Progress and Evil Poverty Headquarters has 4 Children. Chai..

She has three plus my daughter four

I haven't seen you baby mama in the picture.

Chidiesta:


Me too I have a feeling she is not taking good care of her because most of the time she doesn't want me to speak with her on video call

that's not good at all. Why won't she allow you to see your own daughter, please take that girl away from her, before she groom her to be worse than her.

Send her to any of your grandma.
This generation no get soul again.
Ur grandma will appreciate anything u give and enroll your daughter In a remote school.
Before u check date, u don come carry her.

Chidiesta:
Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

This is the worst place to get a good advice on sundry issues.
Everyone will be telling you to scatter things. You have to thread carefully. Nigerians have a very wrong impression of those living abroad. I have experienced this for almost 2 decades now. No matter how you ty to explain to folks back home about how difficult things can be, they will still think you pluck dollars from the trees. I will just suggest that youj make out time to call your sister and paint a very difficult picture of your life in Europe to her. Tell her that things are very difficult and try to convince her calmly to exercise patience till you make it bigger. Talk calmly but firmly. And while you're at it, try to reduce the number of showoffs back home. All the good pictures and all that. Do keep in touch with your daughter and when you're ready, take her with you. Quarreling with your sister or sending your daughter to a friends place might create some dysfunctions that may prove serious for everyoause..ne in deu

Chidiesta:
Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

Where is her father ?

I hope you have time to read my comment.
There are friends that are far better than blood relations, if your said friend is such, send your daughter there. Of course it will lead to friction between you and your sister,so get ready for it.
I will also go with the idea of a good Christian boarding school, trust me, irrespective of what is happening to boarder students, they have not new anywhere in the world, by the way, I'm a teacher and so I know what I'm saying.
Not all blood relations wants the best for their relatives in life, k guess your sister is one of such.
Above all, whatever the choice of your decision, know that your daughter will survive with or without you, so also your sister, so commit your choice to God to help you out on it. Shalom

Chidiesta:


Her dad denied the pregnancy, my mum is late , I also have a elder brother who is married with kids but I don't trust his wife with my child. I don't have a direct communication with the school, she is not jobless she is a business woman she has a clothing store

please put more effort in bringing them down to your location, not even because of your sister draining you but because of parental love



those kids are too young not to enjoy mother or father's love at their age. as grown as I'm I feel unsettled when I didn't hear from my parents in two weeks

just have a .diplomatic discussion with your sister, let her know your earning in a month is below what you're sending that you do even borrow most of the money you sent and repay the person back immediately they pay you the little you earned so that her pressure can reduce then work hard to bring those kids close to you



May God crown all your efforts

You didn’t mention her husband and you didn’t tell us where the mother of your children is,why?

Chidiesta:
Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

lawrenzooo:

Some friends could be better than your relative.

People change....or lemme say...money overturned people's character...the said Sis of hers was never like that in the beginning....see where greed is taking her?


Once kids are involved....her said better friend will always choose her own biological kids over here....if she's single... won't she be having a fiance is whom might molest the girl and others.


TRUST NO ONE!.... paedophile are everywhere....e no dey show for face.

I suggested a Catholic boarding school because she can take necessary legal actions if the daughter is not well taken care of.... she's paying let her money take care of her daughter while she do away with greedy and self-centered frienemies and family.


Her post really got me mad at her sister...this is cruel....I can imagine the the things that Lil girl is passing through...I have them around and see them on daily basis...so I know how hurting it is on the victim.


@chidiester abeg act fast...a new session is starting soon.....take your daughter out of that toxic family.

Cn you imagine 120k for food?
Dem no get papa ni?


Eni bururku ti beyan rere je gan o.

My humble advice is to get a good boarding school for ur daughter n pay a teacher in dat school to be an eyes for u.ur sis may not even send her to d sch u said u paid such fee for her education hence why she avoid u making a video call with her daughter there is more she is hiding from u aside dat she might be maltreating d gal.if u trust ur friend let her be going to her plc during holiday.

Best bet is for you to make necessary arrangements with your friend...get your daughter enrolled in a boarding facility....let your friend be the one to check on her when it's visitation day...Send all necessary upkeep to your friend and always make sure you talk to your daughter on video call...see her and know if she is doing fine....

As for your sister..don't ever let her see this coming...don't make any trouble with her...just withdraw quietly....

My little advice..

Chidiesta:


Her dad denied the pregnancy, my mum is late , I also have a elder brother who is married with kids but I don't trust his wife with my child. I don't have a direct communication with the school, she is not jobless she is a business woman she has a clothing store

Klass99:


You made me smile, what exactly is good about the relationship between OP and her sister? OP is the one being good by taking care of her sister's responsibility towards her children, while the sister is being a typical grabber and entitled relative. There is nothing good about parasitic relatives who leech off you, who only know how to take, take and take some more, hardly ever giving back in return. Blood should never be thicker than water when it comes to such relatives.

God bless you. Such kind of relative would drain her until she comes back to Nigeria empty handed and join the relatives in the aluta continua suffering. They are the kind of relatives that will divert money sent for a building project for their own personal lavish spending not minding how the hustler abroad is risking her life to survive.

Chidiesta:


She is a female and I am also a female, she is my childhood friend my sister knows her well and I trust her too and I strongly believe that she will take care of her better than my own sister.

Then take her there.

Lucius899:
Na you know the kind person you dey deal with Sir. However, I'll advice that you have a candid and loving, heart to heart talk with her. If, after doing this she doesn't change, then take your kids to a better person you can trust. Don't, stop doing what you can for her though.

May the good Lord help you out. Diaspora life no too easy like that and it's painful to have your own blood making things worse for you.

you spoke well