pocohantas:


She is not cray. Even me wey be adult, I no trust any and I don’t hide it. Highest you go vex, but better safe than sorry.

sorepco:


I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet .




My dear i support you 100% on di above.
Take your girl to your friend. Do not tell your sister yet. When you are sure of the above just tell your sis you want you kid to spend a few days with your friend. She will never go back to your sis! Na small small she go collect her clothes.

You see, most Nigerians do not realize life is tough in Europe. They think you pluck monies from the street. Is shea W not married? They are so ungrateful and cunning. Goodluck dear

Zl
@chidiester......if you should take this step...just know you're moving from trying pan to fire..... enroll your child in a boarding school with the help of your friend then get the school's direct contact and website....TRUST NO ONE.....and the said friend is also a single mom.....hmm...I pity that innocent girl.

Here is my last contribution....... don't endanger your daughter's life cos of one frenemy.... you'd see the script replaying itself worse than your blood Sis.

Chidiesta:


She is 8 years old

Where is the child's father? Sorry if I'm making you repeat yourself. Your daughter needs to leave that place. She's so young.

Blackdeewhy:
1. Get a GOOD catholic boarding and enroll that girl in.
2. Come CLEAN to your sister about your finances.
3. Get a SINGLE lady you trust in your family to look after your child
4. Leave her with your aunt and STOP sending shi shi to her or your aunt.
Pick ONE

Lol. She doesn't have to stopping sending money to her now! Just what she can afford

07kjb:
Talk to her that it is not all rosy as she thinks

Never cut a good relationship with your blood

so what's good about this relationship now, Carrying the burden of a family just because he's in Germany...Most times, A friend will treat you better than some of your family members...I have seen cases where friends are taking care of business projects and houses for their abroad friend while a family member will likely to squander everything because he/she believes their will be no repercussions and nothing will happen, afterall we are family....!!

Chidiesta:
Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

Your daughter living with your friend is even worse. He might molest her or expose her tp molestation. Nigerians like to extort using different guises. Infact they feel entitled like money grows on trees. Find way and bring your daughter to join you. Let her continue staying with your sister till you put everything in place

NoToPile:


My cousins wife told me years back that the only adult male she trusts with her daughter is her father (things were not even this bad then) I felt she was cray but now I understand her better.

One of my guys had his wife's brother staying with them. Na so one day the daughter casually said the brother put his hands on her vagina when bathing her.

She didn't even know what was happening ; she was just telling how my day went.

I think we need to shelve this warped mentality that my sis is my sis or my brother is my brother. You're only my sister or brother if you treat me well.
The money you sent to your sis can take care of three kids at least. So, she meant she and her husband cannot cater for their third child?
Just try and be smart about this. I wish you all the best.

Draft a financial budget for your sister as regards to the care of your child... Let's say a pay plan every 4 month's. That's depositing a specific amount to your sister three times a year. You could even make the payment every six months and that's twice a year. Come up with a substantial amount you can pay during the chosen periods and inform your sister about your plans.

mariahAngel:


Have you spoken to your daughter recently?
How did she sound?

I spoke with her on the 19th of August she was okey even tough she didn't talk much, sometime I feel like she has a lot to say but she is scared of my sister. I know when she will be with my friend she will tell me everything she passed through with my sister.

Romanoff:
Take your daughter from her. Your daughter is her cash cow.

Take her to where?

Offpointng:


No reasonable person should think boarding for his/her kids atm and that ur 4th point, Blood is thicker than water, so not sending shi shi to her would create enmity than can be so bad to him and the innocent kid on the long run

Are they entitled to his money?

Klass99:


You made me smile, what exactly is good about the relationship between OP and her sister? OP is the one being good by taking care of her sister's responsibility towards her children, while the sister is being a typical grabber and entitled relative. There is nothing good about parasitic relatives who leech off you, who only know how to take, take and take some more, hardly ever giving back in return. Blood should never be thicker than water when it comes to such relatives.

People who didn't read should not be commenting. I assume you didn't.

The sister is performing a parental role for his daughter.
I don't know about you but such job are highly valuable especially
when it helps the real parent have peace of mind.

Perhaps you are confused about the meaning of "parasite".

@Chidiesta, you will regret it if you move your daughter to your friend's place.
Never ever gamble with your children's wellbeing.

There are family members even extended ones who look after their kin's
children for free. Unless you guys were never close while young I see no
reason while you cannot pull an emotional on your sister.

Your other option is to find another trusted family member to help.

My heart breaks reading this. I had these childhood experiences and it has made me to be over protective of my son. Take your child away from your sister pls. If you don't want her to go to a boarding school, keep her with your friend and she must not go back to her old school next month. Put her in another school, that way, your sister will not be able to find them. The deal is you have to open up to your friend and let her know how things are with you, let her tell you how much she lives by every month and what she wants you to send every month for your daughters upkeep. Then appreciate her separately whenever you have. She will be willing to help.

Chidiesta:


You are right everytime I speak with my daughter feel like she has a lot of things to tell me but she is scared of my sister

jesmond3945:

Your daughter living with your friend is even worse. He might molest her or expose her tp molestation. Nigerians like to extort using different guises. Infact they feel entitled like money grows on trees. Find way and bring your daughter to join you. Let her continue staying with your sister till you put everything in place

I am a woman and my friend is also a woman I don't know why a lot of people thinks I am a man lol. I strongly believe she will take care of my daughter better than my own sister

GloriousGbola:


One of my guys had his wife's brother staying with them. Na so one day the daughter casually said the brother put his hands on her vagina when bathing her.

She didn't even know what was happening ; she was just telling how my day went.

Wowzerfull, one of the reasons it's good to always encourage children to give an update of how the day went,

One will get to hear a lot of irrelevant things like who peed on the body in school, who did this and that but the day anything strange happens that's how they will say it.

I hope you know your sister won't release your daughter to this friend of yours... It's like asking a gambler to release his winning ticket..

Chidiesta:
Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

Let your friend take care of her.

Briells:
OP most times, those who we think are our family end up being the enemy. You can enroll your daughter in a boarding school, so you know it’s just during holidays that she would need to stay with anyone. You may be surprised to find out your daughter is being maltreated, since your sister can comfortably open office on your head despite the fact that youre still struggling. Your sister has no right to make you solely responsible for her childrens education, that’s highly unfair. At this rate, how do you save up money for your daughter to come over? If your daughters location is Abuja, I may be able to help with where she can stay during the holidays (obu na e bu Nwafor o… a nu gom di, muo nwa, nwe maid).

The lady bụ nwafọ. The advice you gave here is good. Boarding school dị mma karịa ya nwa inọ with that sister of hers that's milking her dry on a steady.

Ulunne777:


It is what killed my father.Even the bible says that there's a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Until you are in a fix, a tight one.that is when you'll be able to gauge who is who.

Family is blood + any who comes to my rescue in times of need.

Sis, sorry about your loss. Take heart.

achillesfoot:
I hope you know your sister won't release your daughter to this friend of yours... It's like asking a gambler to release his winning ticket..

I know she won't because she will not want the money to go to someone else and if she refuse to release her I will involve human rights but I hope it will not reach to that level

Chidiesta:


I spoke with her on the 19th of August she was okey even tough she didn't talk much, sometime I feel like she has a lot to say but she is scared of my sister. I know when she will be with my friend she will tell me everything she passed through with my sister.

I don't understand you.

You traded such heated words with your sister to the point of hanging up, even when you know your daughter lives with her? Isn't that too much of playing with fire? You expect your sister to roll out the red carpet for your daughter afterwards? Or you think it doesn't matter?

Please, where is your husband, and your other relatives? Or are they all like that? What if you send her to your friend, and since they aren't blood they decide to abuse her much worse than whatever your sister is doing to her? Not to say they will do that to her, but you never can tell. If your own sister could be that bad, how much more this friend?

The choice is yours, but have you ever explained to your sister what your finances are like in Germany? Do your pictures/lifestyle give her another idea? Or do you owe this sister of yours something (sentimental or financial) that you cannot disclose here?

Make up with your sister ideally. And if she isn't the listening type, then you've got your work cut out for you on the matter. Ship her to a boarding school. But that is a cross of its own.

Chidiesta:


I spoke with her on the 19th of August she was okey even tough she didn't talk much, sometime I feel like she has a lot to say but she is scared of my sister. I know when she will be with my friend she will tell me everything she passed through with my sister.

How can your sister be that cruel against her own niece!? Na wah!

Your sister is doing building project with your money simple

Chidiesta:
Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

Chidiesta:


Me too I have a feeling she is not taking good care of her because most of the time she doesn't want me to speak with her on video call

More reason to take her away from her for good. Why would you be so comfortable with not being able to speak to your daughter regularly despite calling her guardian and making demand to speak to her?

Melap:


You traveled without papers, your leg never balance for Germany and you are still doing baby mama giving birth to more children.

Don't blame her though. She is doing all this to secure the green paper by all means. May be father of this her 1 year old child is an European.
All for the hustle

To me, the guy should just take his daughter away from that she devil. Don't be surprised that the husband is even taking care of his kids only for his wife to be milking her own blood.

God knows that I would not quarrel with my sister or put a fight or argument. I'll just move my kids out and let her be, after all, na me look for trouble (by giving her my responsibilities to handle).

So bro, keep your kids there as I prefer the devil I know, pending when you can get them out of that place.

It's not going to be easy, just endure her excesses at the moment. At least make she use your money buy meeting cloth for now as that's all it can get her.

rexchazy:
Your sister is doing building project with your money simple

Lol.

At least commend her for still enrolling the niece in any school.

donsheddy1:
To me, the guy should just take his daughter away from that she devil. Don't be surprised that the husband is even taking care of his kids only for his wife to be milking her own blood.

God knows that I would not quarrel with my sister or put a fight or argument. I'll just move my kids out and let her be, after all, na me look for trouble (by giving her my responsibilities to handle).

So bro, keep your kids there as I prefer the devil I know, pending when you can get them out of that place.

It's not going to be easy, just endure her excesses at the moment. At least make she use your money buy meeting cloth for now as that's all it can get her.

*Her

mariahAngel:


How can your sister be that cruel against her own niece!? Na wah!

Our mum sister did worse when we lost our mum , I prayed for things to get better for me in this country so I can bring my daughter. I am tired of thinking and crying g every night

Invest4growth:
You are in the midst of two devil's. The best option open to you is to work on your daughters papers and take to Germany. I can tell you for free that your daughter us being deployed as house girl. Secondly, her education might have been compromised or she is out of school or in a public school while your sisters children.are in private school. They might be packaging pictures for you. They tell and show you what you want to hear and see

If you release your daughter to your friend then you have given him a house girl and or a second wife or baby mama. Wickedness is legion. Don't trust anyone but God. Hope you do not blame yourself in the end.

Take your girl with you wherever you are

Sounds funny, but true.