maasoap:


More reason to take her away from her for good. Why would you be so comfortable with not being able to speak to your daughter regularly despite calling her guardian and making demand to speak to her?

I speak to her regularly but sometime when it comes to video call she always make excuses that she can't turn on video because the network is bad

Chidiesta:


I am a woman and my friend is also a woman I don't know why a lot of people thinks I am a man lol. I strongly believe she will take care of my daughter better than my own sister

no. Dont take your daughter to your friend. Your sister is better.
Your sister is family and because you are bringing money she would do everything to make sure daughter is ok. Your friend has nothing to loose, if your dsughter falls into trouble she might not do anything to help even if you give her money. Tell your friend to check up your daughter in school. You can call your daughter through her to confirm things.
You said you are not eligible for work, are you on an asylum or some other status?
Why I ask is how do you see in this in the long run, are you going to bring your dsughter lets say before she turns 15?

My sister don't miss calculate, just get someone to verify what's going on around your daughter first. May be she is ok or she going to school at all ? Secondly truth nobody even your friend you are referring to. may God leads you.

Take your daughter to your friend. Don't take her to a "burden" school if you still value her mental health.

Chidiesta:


Our mum sister did worse when we lost our mum , I prayed for things to get better for me in this country so I can bring my daughter. I am tired of thinking and crying g every night

Chai! Ndo.

Don't worry, when you're finally reunited with your daughter, you will make it up to her.
Nwe ndidi.

Chidiesta:
Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

Hmmmm , I really felt for your child , some people are just naturally wicked , to me , tell her that you want to video call all of them including her own children , she might even be building a mansion with her husband

As for me , if you so trust her to the extent of you letting your daughter stay with her , then is good & fine.

Newborn27:
Op... if your blood Sis can be doing that to your daughter... what expectations have you from your friend.... kindly follow the advice of the poster above ...... enroll her in a standard catholic boarding school....even during holidays... she'd be covered with much care and godly training.


There are some pupils in my school whom are in your shoes....it aches my heart seeing the way those kids are treated...they dare not tell anyone including you the diaspora parents...but as a Teacher...we get to know each of them and sometimes comfort them.

I'd recommend Louis ville girls high school...they have both primary and secondary.
You won't regret enrolling your child in a Catholic school and she'd be treated equally like other pupils...unlike your sister's house where she'd be harshly treated while she suffers in silence.


In all that you decide to do...do not fight with your sister....give her positive reasons why you think she should in the boarding.....no one knows tomorrow.

Cheers

What kind of logic is this? Human beings are not the same and good nature is not about "blood or water". Be calming down

It is very depressing having blood relation full of selfishness. Come what may leave your daughter with your sister just cut the amount you're sending to her bc she will never agree you paid her children school fees so stop pleasing her to displease yourself just be adamant if she ask does she think you pick money from the ground over there!? She's her niece so just leave her with God if she maltreats her with all the efforts you're making cut the money so you have started saving to bring your daughter over.

Why is no one talking about the second one year old baby the op has with the sister too abi that one is not a baby

BRATISLAVA:


Take her to where?

Does he not have any other family members or friends?

BRATISLAVA:


I don't understand you.

You traded such heated words with your sister to the point of hanging up, even when you know your daughter lives with her? Isn't that too much of playing with fire? You expect your sister to roll out the red carpet for your daughter afterwards? Or you think it doesn't matter?

Please, where is your husband, and your other relatives? Or are they all like that? What if you send her to your friend, and since they aren't blood they decide to abuse her much worse than whatever your sister is doing to her? Not to say they will do that to her, but you never can tell. If your own sister could be that bad, how much more this friend?

The choice is yours, but have you ever explained to your sister what your finances are like in Germany? Do your pictures/lifestyle give her another idea? Or do you owe this sister of yours something (sentimental or financial) that you cannot disclose here?

Make up with your sister ideally. And if she isn't the listening type, then you've got your work cut out for you on the matter. Ship her to a boarding school. But that is a cross of its own.

This whole thing reeks of dumb. You made absolutely no sense.

Chidiesta:
Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

Can you trust your friend not to molest your daughter? Best option remains to bring your daughter over as soon as possible

Romanoff:


Does he not have any other family members or friends?

That's what I'm wondering, too. Unless they're largely dysfunctional or she's an only child, there should be other relatives.

Your friend is better.


And please dey do video call with your daughter.

And know that your sister may not want to release her.
But let your friend get her with wisdom, and when gotten, call to confirm it was you.

And do not alllow you emotionally get you guilty.

Know that blood sef dey kill.

Chidiesta:
Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

mariahAngel:
Na wah o!
Even babymama never demand reach that level.

What about your daughter's mother?
How are you sure most of what you're sending is not spent on her children than your daughter?
Are you sure she's treating your daughter well?

What about your daughter's father..you mean to say...cos OP na woman

Chidiesta:


Me too I have a feeling she is not taking good care of her because most of the time she doesn't want me to speak with her on video call

if your cool with your friend,take your daughter from your sister,she is just using her to milk u dry,nd of course u gat no choice.

Na the reason wey make her live for husband house be that na...

No man want a ripper of a woman who wil later drain them emotionally.


U sef wetin happen to ur husband??


I hope this is not a family tins.

Rafiquie:


This whole thing reeks of dumb. You made absolutely no sense.

No vex
Na the sister write am
She dey nairaland too

Rafiquie:


This whole thing reeks of dumb. You made absolutely no sense.

Stop projecting your trashy self about. You have no sense.

Your post is extra dumb and only a stupid person begins their post with insults—YOU. I think we all know you're the absolutely dumb and senseless one here.

Since you have nothing worth saying, you can move your idiocy to the next person you quote.

We4all:
In my opinion, don’t take your daughter to live with your friend. She is also a single mom like you with commitments and may not have time for the kid.

Is your sister’s husband unemployed and irresponsible? Why can’t he take care of his family?
Did you know your sister as the greedy and selfish type? If yes, then it was your bad asking her to take care of your daughter.

You said you have a one year old kid. This means the child was born in Germany. Haba aunty, you should slow down and take things easy with the way you frolick with men. You should have sorted out your 8 year old problem first before birthing another.

My advice is for you to renegotiate with your sister. Tell her straight up you can only afford your daughter’s school fees and feeding allowance for now. Then always insist on a video call with your daughter.

If your sister isn’t down with your proposal, then ask your friend to assist with enrolling her in a boarding school. Under no circumstances should you hand your daughter over to your friend. Trust me, single parenting is never the best option.

Bros no too blame the sister, she is trying to survive and working hard to sort out her immigration. She probably had a new child to enable her get child benefit in the country. I assume it is from the child benefit, she sends part to Nigeria to help the older daughter.

Op don't mind people advising you to grab the child from your sister, in my tribe ( things) like this need care and thinking to handle, you know she is the one taking care of the kid for you since time of your relocation,
The reason it got you now is the Global economic meltdown faced by people all over the world, you know your sister financial capacity before you drop ur kid for her, if she is financially okay, she might not bother you for anything even on your kid,
So you are the only one that know her in and out, if she is a wicked type or not, no let anybody push you against ur family, u might need them oneday.

I don't even know what to say

Dmacqh:
She’s your blood. She can donate blood for you.
Your child have her cousins close. She’s growing in mist of family.
Your sister can’t kill her. Shun sentiment, your sister kids are yours also. Tell her half of the income you are making.

When a corpse starts smelling, friend that’s better than blood will depart.

As for your child welfare, put her in boarding school (Catholic nunnery). Connect directly to the teachers and management. Pay her school fees directly with other fees. She will only be back home to your sister during holidays.

This way your sister attitude have minimal impact on her. Any money you are sending your sister, you know it’s for her. The nunnery takes care of your kid. Nobody will take you hostage because of your daughter.

You maintain the relationship between your sister and same , you are rest assured your child welfare is cool.


Which connection carry you go there ? I’m interested dear ? I like that your work. Help me or should I chat you privately ?
I’m a guy.

Dumb.

Starz825:

No vex
Na the sister write am
She dey nairaland too

Rafiquie:
Take your daughter to your friend. Don't take her to a "burden" school if you still value her mental health.

I will not take her to boarding school

Chidiesta:


Me too I have a feeling she is not taking good care of her because most of the time she doesn't want me to speak with her on video call

Aaaahhhhhhh


Will u take ur child from her before she make the life of ur daughter unfortunate!! I pity u ooh.


Na so my neighbor here dey do, a dey pity the girl always.

Please I'm begging you in the name of God, I also thank you for bringing it here looking for advice on the issue. Take your daughter away from your sister and the person you are trying to take your daughter to should not be aware of your experience with your sister else it'll be same draining storyline. It could be worse than the beginning, God help you out of this , but I hope you have other family members rather than a friend?

CedarHoldings:
Op don't mind people advising you to grab the child from your sister, in my tribe ( things) like this need care and thinking to handle, you know she is the one taking care of the kid for you since time of your relocation,
The reason it got you now is the Global economic meltdown faced by people all over the world, you know your sister financial capacity before you drop ur kid for her, if she is financially okay, she might not bother you for anything even on your kid,
So you are the only one that know her in and out, if she is a wicked type or not, no let anybody push you against ur family, u might need them oneday.

She is financially OK she has a clothing store and her husband sell appliances

Starz825:

No vex
Na the sister write am
She dey nairaland too

Two idiots in an online romance. Tell us something new.

BRATISLAVA:


Stop projecting your trashy self about. You have no sense.

Your post is extra dumb and only a stupid person begins their post with insults—YOU. I think we all know you're the absolutely dumb and senseless one here.

Since you have nothing worth saying, you can move your idiocy to the next person you quote.

Who sprayed the DUMB™ perfume again...smells like hell

Chidiesta:
Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

As a parent and also if what you are saying is true, I will advice to leave her with your sis for now and ask your friend to check up frequently on your baby. If she is residing in lagos I can drop by to check up on her cuz I don't like the kind of wolves we have in our society now. I don't joke with my daughter even with my family.

Rafiquie:


Who sprayed the DUMB™ perfume again...smells like hell

You keep spraying yourself down with your fragrance of dumbness, almost on every post. No wonder you're smelling yourself.

Go back to talking about your god. Deeply religious pool of shiit