Hi Guys,

I need your help on how to approach girls in public and meet new ones.

I was a chronic introvert for the most part of my life, though I have evolved a bit and I can talk to people, however, I noticed that if it is a girl I find attractive and would want to have something with, walking up to her to strike a conversation and possibly get her contact seems tough for me. I can handle anything after that phase or stage but walking up to her and talking is where I seem to have challenges.

I will appreciate any tip that can help me overcome this phase because I do understand that a man can't do without it.

In the past, I tried meeting some females online and trying to date but there are too many problems that come with that:

1. They are rarely at my location, which means it is a distant thing.

2. Because of my personality (I am too kind), they assume I am a slowpoke for being myself. Because of this, one said and I quote "if I want to bill you, I will bill you but to what end" In her mind, she thought that the little I did was because she is a girl and I don't have a mind of my own that she can just press any button and I will do her bidding all because she saw I took interest in her and making effort.

I didn't blame her but myself because nobody can insult you without your permission.

Sadly, this is who I am. I met someone on Nairaland in the past, we got talking on the phone and I asked him what he was doing. He told me he finished his exam but was stranded as there is no money to go back home. I asked him how much does he need to go back home and he told me. I sent him the money instantly. We are still friends today. I never met him before I did that and it was 2 years later that we met and he stayed at my house for a few days. If I had done that for a girl, she would be thinking something else.

A friend needed a laptop, again, I have never met him but we have been communicating and doing some stuff together . I promised to help him and despite the challenges I had last year, I saved up the money and sent it to him bit by bit until it was complete.

After the experience with the girl above, I started having anxiety about giving girls money or caring much, even though I have had the urge to help a few times, except the women are older like 2 days ago when 2 women were begging keke driver to carry them. I stood there and told the keke driver to carry them and paid for it. But if it were younger girls, I wouldn't do that.

3. Doing this online stuff is hard because the girl involved can be dealing with 10 guys and most times, you could be messed up, no matter how genuine your intentions might be. I even had one experience with a Nairalander and it didn't end well either. They see my effort as desperation so, I am ruling out anything online.

4. You can't gauge the other person's commitment and it is easy to be played by the other person. They can easily go back on their words like they never had anything with you. Had a girl do that and she just acted like she didn't have any prior discussions with me.

It was some Hitech emotional siege or ambush. You can't confront her because you don't even have evidence, or you will be seen as nagging.

Apparently, I was just used to while away time pending when another guy came and she jumped ship lol. She blocked twice me because I reacted. By the time she unblocked me, I stopped responding to her and she has tried all manner of tactics to get me to respond for more than 4 months. I have had the urge to tell her to furk off but that will be a reaction from me which she is desperately seeking. My silence is enough.

It may have worked for others and I wish them well but certainly, I wouldn't try it again.

I would appreciate the help in overcoming this challenge and please, men only should respond. I don't want to do anything online again or use the money to attract any woman into my life. Please help!

This used to be me way back.
*Learn to love yourself more
*Don't be a "woman-pleaser" - some prefer a hard guy.

Read up on self-discovery, temperament etc, it helps.

plantainbender:
This used to be me way back.

*Learn to love yourself more

*Don't be a "woman-pleaser" - some prefer a hard guy.


Read up on self-discovery, temperament etc, it helps.

Yeah, I am doing that and loving it so far

Teachingmenfashion channel on youtube will help you alot trust me.

Patrioticbreed9:
Teachingmenfashion channel on youtube will help you alot trust me.

wow. Thanks.i have come a YouTube addict of recent o.

PublicEye:
wow. Thanks.i have come a YouTube addict of recent o.

You are welcome.

I was just like you in my uni days.

Patrioticbreed9:

You are welcome.

I was just like you in my uni days.

how did you overcome it?

PublicEye:
how did you overcome it?

I was determined to!

I felt it was enough!.

So..

I took what ever am learning serious and started manifesting them asap.

Get a body size mirror if you can, for pratice.

Learn how to smile with confident and not sheepish smile, 80% of your problem will be solved.

Secondly just as rema said: oga calm down, calm down.

If you perfect this two point you are 90% ready!

You can freestyle the remain 10% inbuitly dont try to copy someone else or fake it, that 10% is you.

Every lover must not be like spiderman, blackpanther is also a good lover.

Your personality is what will make her talk to lenubari and still talk to you.

Hi hello give me ur number make i call u.

Finish

It's just practice man
I was like this in secondary School until around when I wrote ssce then I started meeting guys older than me and we were placing bets on meeting girls, I don't want to fall hands so I joined that's what we did everyday after waec lessons. We did it for fun back then but it really helped my confidence. By the time I entered uni I was approaching every pretty girl like a mad man � without really having any intention or what to do with them.
So
Approach every lady you find attractive, make mistakes learn and keep repeating it it's fun

Smiles.
So all the epistle is to how to toast a lady..
It is not all men that toast ladies na especially matured men. So maybe you belong to that group.
As little as 'can you be my friend' will do. You don't have to be a Romeo or recite songs of solomon in the first days
Ladies at not stupid they understand when a man is interested in them even without been told.

Medianna:
Smiles.
So all the epistle is to how to toast a lady..
It is not all men that toast ladies na especially matured men. So maybe you belong to that group.
As little as 'can you be my friend' will do. You don't have to be a Romeo or recite songs of solomon in the first days
Ladies at not stupid they understand when a man is interested in them even without been told.

Thanks.

The epistle was just to give a background of my experience. It got so bad at a point that I started thinking something is wrong with me... but then, male friends that I have had feel I am a great guy, but why are these girls making a mess of my effort as if I am so terrible? I asked myself multiple times. I mean, the same way I give to my male friends is the same way I tried to extend it to ladies I met. While one gender appreciates my caring nature, the other ones see me as moro.n and still brag about it to my face. Do I blame them? NO! I caused it. In an attempt to hide my weakness in approaching ladies simply because technology made it easy, I brought disrespect to myself.

The last one just used me to while away time...blocked me twice and threatened to block me for the 3rd time. WHY? because she got another guy. I looked at myself and said I can't allow this to continue, I just can't.

Sorry about the epistle... I just wanted people to know why I really need to get help so that they can take out time out of their busy schedules and help me out.

Thanks for your tip. I will put them to actions.

chikasnight:
It's just practice man
I was like this in secondary School until around when I wrote ssce then I started meeting guys older than me and we were placing bets on meeting girls, I don't want to fall hands so I joined that's what we did everyday after waec lessons. We did it for fun back then but it really helped my confidence. By the time I entered uni I was approaching every pretty girl like a mad man � without really having any intention or what to do with them.
So
Approach every lady you find attractive, make mistakes learn and keep repeating it it's fun

Thank you. I will do that.

PublicEye:


Thanks.

The epistle was just to give a background of my experience. It got so bad at a point that I started thinking something is wrong with me... but then, male friends that I have had feel I am a great guy, but why are these girls making a mess of my effort as if I am so terrible? I asked myself multiple times. I mean, the same way I give to my male friends is the same way I tried to extend it to ladies I met. While one gender appreciates my caring nature, the other ones see me as moro.n and still brag about it to my face. Do I blame them? NO! I caused it. In an attempt to hide my weakness in approaching ladies simply because technology made it easy, I brought disrespect to myself.

The last one just used me to while away time...blocked me twice and threatened to block me for the 3rd time. WHY? because she got another guy. I looked at myself and said I can't allow this to continue, I just can't.

Sorry about the epistle... I just wanted people to know why I really need to get help so that they can take out time out of their busy schedules and help me out.

Thanks for your tip. I will put them to actions.

Relationship matters are complicated at times
Its just like some have shoes but dont have leg and some have legs but don't have shoes to wear.
Its not about your approach its about the ladies you meet.
I'm sure with time you'll meet the right one, nobody or only few have it all when it comes to relationship.
Just be patient or you might continue meeting the treble ones.
Just make sure you'll comfortable with yourself even without a babe

PublicEye:
Just send your nigerian number to this temporary line on whatsapp I will call you myself. na me need help, na me suppose to call. Thanks for willing to help... I am grateful.

who is this one, u no sabi book?

bmddmix:
who is this one, u no sabi book?

lol bro, I mean I should do the calling. I don't want you to spend your airtime cos I am the one that needs help and should also be the one to spend the airtime. It is just courtesy but you feel offended. I didn't intend to offend you.

Patrioticbreed9:

I was determined to!

I felt it was enough!.

So..

I took what ever am learning serious and started manifesting them asap.

Get a body size mirror if you can, for pratice.

Learn how to smile with confident and not sheepish smile, 80% of your problem will be solved.

Secondly just as rema said: oga calm down, calm down.

If you perfect this two point you are 90% ready!

You can freestyle the remain 10% inbuitly dont try to copy someone else or fake it, that 10% is you.

Every lover must not be like spiderman, blackpanther is also a good lover.

Your personality is what will make her talk to lenubari and still talk to you.

Thanks man. I appreciate this a lot. Hopefully, I will get over it soon. I will work towards improving it

Am an introvert like you but I talk to anyone who wants to.

chikasnight:
It's just practice man
I was like this in secondary School until around when I wrote ssce then I started meeting guys older than me and we were placing bets on meeting girls, I don't want to fall hands so I joined that's what we did everyday after waec lessons. We did it for fun back then but it really helped my confidence. By the time I entered uni I was approaching every pretty girl like a mad man � without really having any intention or what to do with them.
So
Approach every lady you find attractive, make mistakes learn and keep repeating it it's fun

I like this ur achievement oOoOO. Hope u are awarded trophy, trophy you will show for children and great grandchildren.

Congratulations boy I’ve noticed you...

Fiscus105:




I like this ur achievement oOoOO. Hope u are awarded trophy, trophy you will show for children and great grandchildren.

Just have money and clean ride, na dem go dey approach you. Everywhere you go like MTN

Antimarraige:
Just have money and clean ride, na dem go dey approach you. Everywhere you go like MTN

lol bros, I am not broke but sincerely, I wouldn't want to attract a woman with material stuff. I want to learn how to do it without those cos there are guys doing that.

mehn bruv its hard i no go lie
everyday on my way home, i see a lot of fine girls in the bus or at the bus stop
its so hard to approach to them....make they no wash me
online dating sucks more sef

Medianna:
Smiles.
So all the epistle is to how to toast a lady..
It is not all men that toast ladies na especially matured men. So maybe you belong to that group.
As little as 'can you be my friend' will do. You don't have to be a Romeo or recite songs of solomon in the first days
Ladies at not stupid they understand when a man is interested in them even without been told.

I had to come back to this thread because of this statement. The emboldened is very true as I used it to eventually get a lady in church. I complimented her outfit and asked if we can be friends, asking for her name and number. She gave it and even buzzed me by herself as soon as I got home.

Thank you Medianna and everyone who commented on this thread. And yeah, ya boy has over 5 girls on his contact now...

Adebaba1:
mehn bruv its hard i no go lie
everyday on my way home, i see a lot of fine girls in the bus or at the bus stop
its so hard to approach to them....make they no wash me
online dating sucks more sef

It is not hard bro. Women want you to approach them, they want you to talk to them and if you do it in a crowd of people, it will even boost your credential in her eyes.

Watch these videos on this channel for like 1 week and your mindset will change: https://www.youtube.com/@socialanimal

Bro I will try your method today

Adebaba1:
Bro I will try your method today

Just look for something around to compliment. Let say you see she made a hair... or looks good in her dress, tell her you like the hair or dress as it looks good on her. Ask for her name and ask whether you guys can be friends... that is all. no long story.

To get a lady, just look for something around her to start the conversation... it could be anything like her phone, her dress, her hair, her nails, anything at all.

there was even a girl I used her glasses to start conversation with... all i said was "is that a recommended glass"? and we exchange words and conversed briefly but I didn't want to proceed beyond that...

You can even use tribal marks on their faces if they have one. I have done this too by asking whether a lady is from Edo state...

The problem I had was starting conversation and this has helped me.