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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name (29161 Views)
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Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by SirJerrie(m): 1:49pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
If your parents were legally married, and legally divorced(filed and granted by a law court), she has every right to change her name back to her maiden name and so should you(since your 'dad' ) doesn't want anything to do with You, your brother or your mom). "...Since the purpose of a divorce is to excise him from your mom, what's the point of still being chained to his name?...Comment by budaatum Here's a link to a Thread with a similar case https://www.nairaland.com/6541254/women-still-bear-husbands-names Here a link to another article on that thread to further help with your question https://www.netlawman.co.uk/ia/change-name-death-divorce-separation 4 Likes |
Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by Deicide: 1:50pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
How women day take fall for this kind of men self? 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by pargelenis(m): 1:50pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
After reading all this below, I wonder why you want to continue bearing the last name of that deadbeat individual? ”…My dad was never part of the family. They both separated because of infidelity and harsh treatment. Since then, my dad, I guess erased our memories from his life…”. . 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by einsteine(m): 1:50pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
Your papa name dey bring money?? 4 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by blackslayer: 1:50pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
Sorry but your bitch mother is salty! That is nothing but a fact! Did it ever occur to you that your mother caused your dad not to be in your lives? Some women are so evil that the best thing a man can do to survive is to erase the woman from their lives and sometimes by extension the children or child produced from the failed union. Keep your dad's name or take your mom's name, it doesn't really matter. 10 Likes |
Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by obedience4(m): 1:50pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
Change it, follow the wise counsel of your mum 8 Likes |
Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by totosucker(m): 1:50pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
Like someone pointed up there. Be diplomatic about it. It will bring confusion for you in the future especially you the female child. 1 Like |
Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by ibechris(m): 1:51pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
It doesn't change anything at all. Most single Women are like that. Go and look for your dad and find out from him why he abandoned u guys first hand and then,take your decision after wards. I doubt if that was the whole truth. 8 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by afbstrategies: 1:52pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
Alexxx2000: My question is not whether it's right or wrong to do this, but what you and your siblings stand to gain by not bearing your father's name. I hope and pray that eventually both of them will act like adults and keep this drama from affecting you emotionally and financially. Marriage is not a cake walk. After 18 years of marriage, all I can tell anyone thinking of doing it, is to take time and get to know who you are settling down with. Trust is important in marriage. I honestly don't think a marriage is worth it when betrayal of trust occurs. Don't hurt your husband or wife and think he or she is going to get over it. 1 Like |
Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by Reference(m): 1:52pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
Alexxx2000: Why hasn't she gotten a divorce all these years to avoid all the legal hurdles you may experience till you get married (and be opportuned to change by law)... except if she was not formally married to him. Anyway if you operate below legalistic radars you may just adopt new names for peace sake. |
Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by Dchampion65: 1:53pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
She is talking from a betrayed heart. If you changed now and the matter is settled in future, are you going to revert back? Don't fight the battle that did not concern you nevertheless be wise in dealing with her, you and your sibling should be a succour to her. 2 Likes |
Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by fredoooooo: 1:53pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
Wetin go push you back to him is hiding in the future. . Blood they say is thicker than water . 1 Like |
Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by Kobojunkiee: 1:54pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
Alexxx2000:According to you, the man likely already erased you from his memories, and he does not care about the difficulties his own children are having to endure, so what do you gain from wearing his name as a badge? If you are a minor, there isn't much you can do if your mum decides to change your names, but if you are an adult, then the decision to pursue a name change ought to be yours. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by temitope27(m): 1:55pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
If your father is not responsible for ur wellbeing, is her own father responsible too 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by 2Radii: 1:55pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
Alexxx2000:Ur mum cheated on ur father, Ur father cut her away to regain his sanity. Now she wants more by telling u guys to change from his name Lol, universe has a way of inflicting this kind of people with some mysterious afflictions 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by lawrenzooo: 1:55pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
igbowoman:If his name doesn't mean a thing why change it in the first place? Women and their sentiments I understand your mums position raising kids alone when their father is alive and not supporting can be a pain in the heart but however changing the child surname doesn't change anything.... 1 Like |
Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by Kobojunkiee: 1:56pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
lawrenzooo:Why bare a name that means nothing? Isn't a name supposed to mean something? 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by Tayor23(m): 1:57pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
Alexxx2000:Better you don’t listen to these emotional humans giving you advise.Dead beat father deserve nothing good in life.Change the damn surname and see what will happen next! 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by Kobojunkiee: 1:57pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
northbird:Benefits such as? 2 Likes |
Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by lawrenzooo: 1:58pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
If changing the name make you guys better economically go ahead if not reason your mother street (I mean be diplomatic with her) as for your brother there is little or nothing you can do... |
Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by Kobojunkiee: 1:58pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
tydi:The father already made them bastards by erasing them out of his memory. Holding on to just his names means nothing after that. 7 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by ngmoses17(m): 2:00pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
She's acting that way because each time she is conscious of the fact that you guys still bears your father's name - it rings a bell in her head & ear with a displeasing sound. Just take it easy with her, she's wounded already. Don't compound it. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by LilMissFavvy(f): 2:00pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
So in all of these you do not pity your mother? You are still contemplating on wether to listen to her or not? Sorry, your dad has failed* her, failed* you and failed* your brother. Listen to your mom and dump* his name. 5 Likes |
Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by topsyking: 2:00pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
excellence44:This is what my uncle did many years ago.. he add her mom's surname with this sign (-) something like femi fani-kayode. What do you think? 2 Likes |
Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by Kobojunkiee: 2:01pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
Qatar2022:Tell that bullsheet cock'n'bull to millions of Nigerians who grew up and died never welcomed by their so-called fathers. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by Dcoy: 2:01pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
If this is a true story....then you really get mind oh.... After she suffered bringing you up all alone in the harsh economy....no financial and emotional help from anyone.... you are talking this trash..... ungrateful you are... If your father's family are not in any way involved in your lifes that means they are irresponsible, because no responsible family leaves two male bloodlines outside... Except if there is another dimension to your story ... Irresponsibility and thus ungratefulness runs in the blood... 7 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by harmargedon: 2:01pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
Alexxx2000:how old were you when your parents separated? |
Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by casualobserver: 2:01pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
Alexxx2000: Your Mom is wrong. 1) there are 2 sides to every story, no reasonable man abandons his children without good reason. If your mother married an unreasonable man then whose fault is that..the man or hers? Your mum isnt going to tell you she messed up if she did is she? Seperated/single mothers tend to brainwash and weaponise their children against their fathers. 2) it is bad enough that you grew up without a father but to remove his name is to deny who you are. 3) secondly it is emotional blackmail and selfish for your mother to use her children to fight her battles, you are suffering enough as it is without a father, she shouldnt add her drama to your life. your mother should be looking to sooth the fact that you have no father in your life (which is very important for any child) not to further damage you pyschologically. 4) I assume you are an adult, it is your decision to make not hers!!! She cannot deny who you are simply because of her mistakes in life. And yes it is her mistake because she made a choice to have children with a man who is no longer in the picture for whatever reason...whether it is her fault or his, it shows bad judgement on her part. It shows at the very least she chose to have have children with the wrong man...thats on her..thats her fault!!!!!! The fact that she is weaponsing you children says a lot about her if you ask me. 6 Likes |
Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by jasminer: 2:03pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
If your father has erased you from his life, why are you catching feeling over dumping his name? If taking your mother's name will give her some joy for the sacrifice she's making on you and your sibling's life, what's the big deal? If she decides to walk away from you and go find her own life since you're his daughter afterall, I hope you'll be happy. Name you'll still change when you get married. LOL 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by harmargedon: 2:03pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
pargelenis:was she a witness to her dad's infidelity or she was told about it by her mother. You would be surprised how hard her father is trying to locate them now. 1 Like |
Re: My Mother Wants Us To Stop Bearing Our Father's Name by judedwriter(m): 2:04pm On Sep 20, 2022 |
Alexxx2000: Your mum is bitter and acting out of vengeance to your dad. But she doesn't have the right to change your surname. It's your decision as an adult, not hers. Take your stand. Besides, no condition is parmanent. 2 Likes |
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