Gloriagee:
But its Ok for him to send her on errands, okwaya? You have no idea what goes in their home so mind your own business . She could be pregnant or your brother could be trying to make peace over something he did wrong...you truly dont know

Madam that's disrespect abeg in presence of inlaw... Big one

Richy4:
If that kind of arrangement works for them in their household great,...I know it doesn't work like that in many household...
As long as he wasn't complaining.. assuming he was, he would have changed it..

But OP, what was she doing when she was dishing out such instructions?...

This is the kind of situation that we all pray to have reasonable girl child as siblings...Ladies have ways of settling this kind of disrespect..
Assuming OP was a woman,... I doubt she would have ignored her...As the brother left for that errand, there would have been some exchange of words...Some female siblings will attack like dogs that even real dogs will be proud..

The wife did bad there ... No two ways ...

mariahAngel:
To be honest, your brother's wife disrespected her husband by sending him on such an errand in your presence.
She belittled her own husband.
Couples should learn to treat each other with respect, especially in front of others.
Show others how to respect your spouse.

Op, as much as it hurt you to see that, try to stay out of it. It is their business.
Also, that should not stop you from respecting your elder brother.

So we still have sensible and objective ladies here?
And I someone once referred to you as a good cook.
Your type is rare.

latolz:
Is she pregnant? If yes, understand he's trying to be helpful..

Still she should have said it in a better non-demeaning way or like most Nairalanders said call him to the side and tell him. It is very obvious that his brother's wife lacks manners and unlike Op, I will address it right there and then as a sibling.

frozen70:


Your brother is not complaining

If he can't see anything wrong with that

Then let them be before his wife will start having family problems with you and yours

Mind your business

Na disrespect abeg ... If the inlaw no dey now ... That one dey ...

Romanoff:


It shouldn't be anyone's business what your arrangements with your woman is.

You should own it and not be ashamed of it. If you're ashamed of it, maybe you shouldn't agree to such terms.

I so rest sir.

Yeah it is no one's business if its stays private that is why she should not bring it up in front of visitors/3rd party cos that automatically makes it there business.

when you are in rome behave like roman is what they, know that know peace maam

[color=#006600][/color]

madridguy:
This is so touching. How come you people neglected him to that extent? I felt for him. Many men are in bondage of their wife i swear.

My brother you will not understand. We tried everything possible to discourage him but his mind was made up.
He is in love with a manipulative woman and he wanted to prove how enlighten and real he is as a man.

As of the financial assistance of a thing, I can not bring myself to help a man that intentionally and purposefully resigned from a job he was earning 250k a month to become a house husband so as to prove his love and manhood to a manipulative wife even though she earns higher than him.

seanwilliam:
If I were you , I will talk. Doesn’t matter wether my brother is ok with it or not , but I will register my opinion instantly and she must tell me the reason she had to do that. If it’s reasonable enough , I’ll let it slide… and tbh, I doubt if any of my brothers’ wives can do this in my presence . I’m not bragging .

I get bad mouth and I don’t think any of them will try to tackle me, I rarely visit anyone , but if I visit them once , respect too much ( dem fit Dey fake am, I no care ).

All these signs are always there but your brother is blinded by love ..
Most of these girls possess that character , na u no go gree,
I remembered the day I went out with my girl to super market, we just started dating, we bought stuff and I paid, was pressing my phone and she wanted to hand over one of the bags to me to hold , I told her to put it on my head. Everyone was laughing and she felt embarrassed. I was praying she would bring up the matter again when we reach house, wetin she Fõr hear that day . If you no fit carry am drop am for ground! When no be something wey heavy.. even if it’s heavy, na me supposed tell you to bring am no be you go tell me.. Rubbish!




Anyway I’m an honest vendor who
buys all gift cards and funds( cashapp, greendot, PayPal,zelle, Moneycard skrill,perfect money , Neteller,money gram , western union etc) And WeChat payment all @ your rate

You be man!

etrange:
OP, you can't just use your own idea of what is ideal to judge other people's happiness. You don't know the couple's love language. You don't know what tickles the woman's fancy or what turns the man on. You don't know the specific situation that led to the man being the person to go down that specific street to that specific shop at that specific time. All you saw was that your brother was sent on an errand. Unfortunately for you, you can't just walk in there and tell them how they should be married. It's not your marriage and if you're not happy with what you see, leave thier house for them. When you get married and your wife asks you to help with such things, kick her out. Your brother did not complain to you.

You are upset to see that he went out to check something for his own wife. The fact that this wife might be the one doing the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc all became irrelevant because the man went out to see if a shop is open. You're probably living in the past, but let your own wife bear the consequences of that. Please, don't use your own toxic masculinity to spoil another man's home.

E no go better for the woman...... For my presence... She dey madt ni

Lama70:
Your Brother he haff chop vegitable or EFO RIRO.

On a serious note it is purely abnormal. Why I am contributing to this topic is that an elderly woman living in my compound upstairs warned me to stop my wife from relating with a certain neighbor. Her reason was for a similar thing like this. Mama is nearly 90yrs.

This woman does nothing at home. The man takes the children to school and goes to pick them. This madam is friends to all the shop owners in the vicinity. I have seen her taking their gas cooker to assist other women to cook meals.

Just when I came back to pick an item at home about 40 mins ago her husband arrived with the children from school. Pepper, ewedu, tomatoes and fufu were some of the thing I saw in his hands. He drives for a pure water company.

Guess what? Madam was in somebody's shop gossiping again. It was when she saw the truck she came to say a very weak welcome to him. And she was questioning the man over certain things I didn't even bother to listen to.

I believe what mama upstairs told me. Obviously, your brother is acting under some influence.

Whoever likes can insult me among the ladies here. But I believe the menfolks will understand and watch.

Abi. This disrespect and demeaning action passes the normal and now abnormal, now spiritual!

Acidosis:
That's bad. The fact that she had to do it in your presence is completely embarrassing. But context is everything...

There's a difference between:

"Honey...baby...please I'm stressed.. can you help out with this and that on the next street?"

AND

"Oya bia, go collect change from iya shakiru" *with a straight face*

If my sister in-law uses the first context, I would even volunteer to run the errand. For the second context, we will surely have problems.

Na the presence be the thing

Richy4:


In as much as I wanted to agree with you but her attitude is inexcusable.. she was wrong.. her husband can do chores around the house but that kind of errand is just downgrading him to a junk status in the presence of his siblings. I don't care about their financial status..

She will not die if she does honey can I speak with you privately kind of thing..I believe that OP did not just drop inside their household unannounced... She can always hide the fact that she was wearing the bigger trouser instead of doing it Infront of his siblings..

As far as I am concern, that errand was not an emergency... She can always do that herself since the husband was with his siblings or she can wait for them to go.. Opening her mouth and even saying the reason why the man must get up while he was with his siblings was just a no no...I believe the husband will never send her for an errand if she was with her siblings..

Bless you

NemoDatQuod:
I wish I were female in this instance and your sister in-law. You will talk?
I will put strong pepper in your mouth and you will explain to me what you are doing in my house, let alone asking me to explain myself to you. I am not married to you. I am married to your brother. Because I tolerated your presence in my house, you then have the audacity to ask me questions about my family affair.

Most of you need to have your heads examined. Really!

You don't understand the concept of boundaries and privacy. She owes you nada! and your own brother also owes you no explanation with regards to his relationship with his wife.

It seems most people in that Nigeria are mad in one form or the other. You wake up, dust your seat pants, go to someone else's home and start questioning her on how she relates with her husband. Come and try it here and see where you will spend the night.

It is men like you who will subject a widow to all sorts of indignities on the death of her husband, instead of having fellow feeling for her and comforting her on the loss of her closest companion. Mtchew!

Ode

My wife just ask me to cook for her and the children and I did. Leave your Bro and his wife they understand themselves more than you.

mariahAngel:


Thank you.

What was she trying to prove, using her husband to shine?
She could've beckoned her husband to come close, then whispered her request into his ear, but no, she had to show herself.

If she could do that in front of her husband's younger sibling, then she could probably do that in front of a random guest.

You be correct woman... The woman just use her hand find family problem... Normally if no one is there ... Why not ... I do so many things for my madam... But somethings no join....

seanwilliam:
shut up your dirty mouth. That you’re married to my brother doesn’t give you the temerity to treat him anyhow and throw caution out of window. we’re related by blood and I’m closer to him than you are. ‘no matter the bonds you share with him, you’re still an outsider. If something bad happens to him you can deny him and go your way but someone like me won’t do that !. If that’s how you treat your own husband all in the name of love , fine! But it won’t work with me.
This is Africa. No come Dey form americana for someone like me, I go over embarrass u.

I will put mouth instantly and if my brother is not ok with that then I will shut up by mouth and will never visit them again!.

Mind you, I don’t visit anyone except I’m invited and I rarely honor invitation self. Not all in laws are jobless like yours!


As regards to widow, I have no business poke-nosing in that regards. She’ll be the one to handle her husband’s stuff in order to take care of their children and I will do what I’m supposed to do to support them. Also par-adventure they never had kids together until his demise, then we will have to follow his wills and order.


He’s your husband but he’s my brother first .

You can say that again at the last statement!

mariahAngel:


Thank you.

What was she trying to prove, using her husband to shine?
She could've beckoned her husband to come close, then whispered her request into his ear, but no, she had to show herself.

If she could do that in front of her husband's younger sibling, then she could probably do that in front of a random guest.

you know, have always known you as an enabler of female excesses. For the first time, you commented like a reasonable human being

akinmusi:
There may be a reason to some of these things you see at home nowadays.
Though whatever mystery behind it may be associated with factors seen and some unseen.

Managing homes under this regime could make a man so lowly and very humble as a result of the gargantuan demands that come with it. Some have however resorted directly or partly to shared responsibilities, "consciously and unconsciously", in quote.

There are things, while not trying to paint this regime bad, has humbled many men to do.

I know I keep speaking in mystery. Lmao.
It's well.

Baba I understand well... But this is wrong from the wife

Richy4:


When I was reading that, I was just smiling thinking about what my 2 immediate elder sisters would have done... Pitbulls would be really proud

you look like a mugu and simp to me

NaijaRoyalty:

Shut up please. Will you stay on your lane and mind your business if the said man happen to be your own brother?

Abi you too don tie someone's son somewhere?

Lolzzzz

NaijaRoyalty:

Shut up please. Will you stay on your lane and mind your business if the said man happen to be your own brother?

Abi you too don tie someone's son somewhere?

Their type no dey gree

aspabay:
When people learn to mind their own business, this world will be a better place to live in.

Your brother and his wife are one and their family matter should not be your, go and build your own family.

Arinya

Juoflife1:
Exactly my thoughts. But Nigerians will always like to meddle. OP stay out of their business.

Na that kind woman your pikin boy go marry then do am for your presensce

KosyJerry:
Stay out of their business.. When you'll advice is needed, you'll know. But for now, stay clear.... Nothing concern YOU

Arinya

harmargedon:
a lot happens in marriage, but when love is attached, a lot seems normal. Possibly they were very close before marriage, eventually they turn from friends to couples.
It's normal for your girlfriend/female friend to say "babe please help me check if the woman outside is selling drinks" and you'd hurriedly do it without attaching sentiment to it.
He's doing it based on understanding, and not because she's controlling him. He wouldn't have to tell you what the lady in turn had sacrificed for him.

Its no biggie... But in presence of inlaw or guest its disrespect

JoshB92:
Sometimes it's not about bread winner or juju, it's about the mumu love you allowed from the start, when a man shows too much care and love this gender seems to jump and feed on that thereby making it a trap to get you whenever you need them and if care not properly taken, it will grow into the marriage and you won't be able to control it, by then you go think sa na love but na mumuness. I had this girl that I literally do most of the things for whenever she comes visiting, from doing the cooking myself (cus I love cooking) to serving her the food, but this girl so enjoyed this to the point that she expects me to bring her water, after that she expects me to help her pack the plates she used in eating, she will sit down and be like please help me bring this and that, long story short the day I changed it for her she was more than shocked, she vex go her papa house and I no send since then dem no born her well, even the food sef o dy hungry

you've been a mumu

seanwilliam:
shut up your dirty mouth. That you’re married to my brother doesn’t give you the temerity to treat him anyhow and throw caution out of window. we’re related by blood and I’m closer to him than you are. ‘no matter the bonds you share with him, you’re still an outsider. If something bad happens to him you can deny him and go your way but someone like me won’t do that !. If that’s how you treat your own husband all in the name of love , fine! But it won’t work with me.
This is Africa. No come Dey form americana for someone like me, I go over embarrass u.

I will put mouth instantly and if my brother is not ok with that then I will shut up by mouth and will never visit them again!.

Mind you, I don’t visit anyone except I’m invited and I rarely honor invitation self. Not all in laws are jobless like yours!


As regards to widow, I have no business poke-nosing in that regards. She’ll be the one to handle her husband’s stuff in order to take care of their children and I will do what I’m supposed to do to support them. Also par-adventure they never had kids together until his demise, then we will have to follow his wills and order.


He’s your husband but he’s my brother first .

Na insult sef

Middleborn:


I'm not in support of men who are clueless and weak...they allow the woman be the man of the house, but i want to point out that there could be more to the story.

I say this because i have seen different families and how they could differ due to the personalities of the couples involved.

On this note, imagine if in this story, both husband (his elder brother) and wife are career people and they have 1 or 2 small kids and they don't have a house help. Maybe wife just got pregnant. Wife comes back from work, does her house-keeping and kitchen stuff...many wives in her circumstance need assistance. Maybe she cooking and wants to buy stuff from the provision shop, which is just a few steps from their house and the husband isnt doing anything at the time...she might have also asked politely...why can't he help out? i'm just telling you how it may have happened and how the OP may not have gotten all the details.

I do also think that African civilized society has gotten past that point where the men heaps all the house work on the woman. Some assistance is needed.

But the key is the way the lady says it. Op obviously concluded he ordered him round. We can because of this "woke" generation be tolerating disrespect as men, fathers and husbands. There is a word - please and obviously telling him to the side not publicly as this mannerless wife did.

wiseone28:
That's what my ex did..


I went to barb she went to wash her hair.

After i was thru with my own i waited for her to be done.

Though we were not very far from the hostel, rain suddenly start drizzling.

She tell me to run and remove her clothes outside before rain wet it.

The kind eye i looked her she respect herself

I refused to go after we left there i cautioned her.

you are a useless fellow

Konjiboii:
When it comes to being a redpiller and an absolute alpha male I will tell you now that there is nothing wrong with what happened, as a married man or even dating there is nothing wrong assisting a woman, your brother is a real man without such petty pride. There are certain things as a man you shouldn't do and this is not one of it.you look at it as running errands but you don't understand why he is doing it, just mind your business and let them live their lives, when you marry send your wife errands and let her wipe your yansh because she's a woman. Women are meant to be partners and not slaves.
Let me give instances so y'all will understand since una dey reason like cavemen.
Imagine she's cooking and there's no seasoning.
Imagine they ran out of gas.
I wish a nigga on nairaland would point at me and call me a simp.

Bros man goes to the kitchen woman goes out if guest present or in-laws... No dey talk rubbish abeg... This kind situation before she talk finish sef my brother fit don jump out sef

Monaboo:
This is Funny but it happens.

But it depends on how she says it.

If I marry and I decide to do such, I would say it this way.

"Please honey, can u kindly help me check if the provision woman is at the shop. I would have gone but I'm so tired".

I will also say it calmly as if I want to faint

Believe me, no husband will refuse going and even if his family members are there, they won't feel bad.

The family members may even decide to go sef

P.S
It's Vice Versa. Same way the husband can use same strategy and send the wife message in the presence of her people and won't look controlling.

shut up there. Liar

MLSM:
Next time, u could just ask ur bro to never bother n u do d errend on his behalf. This, with time will send message to ur bro' s subconscious.
Also, u can also tell ur bro how u feel when his wife sends her on an errand, he might open up to u.

The woman didn't take caution ... And like you said ... I will do the errand too