Guys im so angry right now.
I recently found out that my father has a habit of telling outsiders private and secret things discussed by the family.
It starts when he goes out to visit his friends
Soon as they start drinking , he will start opening mouth like tap.
Telling everybody pur secret family issues without Shame.
The worst part is that this is the man I have been telling some of my deep secrets.
I call him on phone almost every week
My sisters do communicate with him well

Now im scared of coming back home this December cuz everybody now knows everything about me.

It was one of his friends son that chatted me on whatsapp and started telling me sorry for getting sacked from my job.
I was so schoked that he knows about this
Only me,my dad and mum know about this.

The boy told me that he was around when my dad visited his dad. And as they were both drinking he was telling them lots of our family challenges and issue. Like wtf??
I'm so angry right now, because i know he has told many people about the things I told him.

Damn! I always avoid parrots in human form.

Well, he's your father and what he's doing is wrong. Since you've noticed this bad behavior, it's better you caution him. You should stop divulging important information about yourself to him.

When you travel home in December, express your grievances and observe him afterwards. A man that can't keep his mouth shut while drinking or after sex is very dangerous!

I can't help you here, player.

Just have another meeting with your dad and your siblings.

Provide tangible proof of his indiscretions.

Lets see if he would learn.

Let him understand that he is the weak link.

Try talk your dad out of alcohol


Tell him alcohol is poison

Go and fucking tell your father about his habit and dont disturb us . You wan day give us night cruise. Vawulence po biyi o

I need advice on what to do
This man has been my confidant for some years. I tell him things other people don't tell their fathers.
Am I wrong for trying to bond and communicate with my father?
I just feel betrayed, and I don't even feel like talking to him or coming back for Xmas.
I will just block him and speak to my mother only.

iamyungkhalifa:
Go and fucking tell your father about his habit and dont disturb us . You wan day give us night cruise. Vawulence po biyi o

mtcheeewwww

There are certain companies that can get one talking and with the aid of alcohol, the barriers of reason can be too upended.

Also, some feel that a burden shared, relieves a little.

You can feel terrible about it all. But you have to begin to recover.

I think you should feel more terrible that you have lost a confidant, than you should feel terrible about how you will be perceived when you return home later.

Now, the fellow your dad was speaking too, probably also tells your Dad about his private. The boy eavesdropping is however a case.

Discuss with Dad, let him know how dissatisfied you are, that he cannot keep your conversation with him in confidence. Tell him about your experience. Hopefully, he can apologize and you both will be good again.

MufasaLion:
Damn! I always avoid parrots in human form.

Well, he's your father and what he's doing is wrong. Since you've noticed this bad behavior, it's better you caution him. You should stop divulging important information about yourself to him.

When you travel home in December, express your grievances and observe him afterwards. A man that can't keep his mouth shut while drinking or after sex is very dangerous!

Is this Tunde ednut?

ChizzyBuna:
I need advice on what to do
This man has been my confidant for some years. I tell him things other people don't tell their fathers.
Am I wrong for trying to bond and communicate with my father?
I just feel betrayed, and I don't even feel like talking to him or coming back for Xmas.
I will just block him and speak to my mother only.

Even your mother might be doing the same. I still don't understand how y'all tell your parents every goddamn thing about your life.

ChizzyBuna:
Guys im so angry right now.
I recently found out that my father has a habit of telling outsiders private and secret things discussed by the family.
It starts when he goes out to visit his friends
Soon as they start drinking , he will start opening mouth like tap.
Telling everybody pur secret family issues without Shame.
The worst part is that this is the man I have been telling some of my deep secrets.
I call him on phone almost every week
My sisters do communicate with him well

Now im scared of coming back home this December cuz everybody now knows everything about me.

Hmmm... @ the bolded. You referred to your father like that Two wrongs don't make a right.

Your dad has an inner pain. It is psychological.
He is feeling empty and full at the same time.

Maybe your mother is not doing enough to be his all in all and he is not the type that cheats... So any opportunity to talk is a blessing to let loose of all that his eating him up.

That man needs a soulmate and a listening and caring family.

Have a crucial conversation with him where you will be able to tell him how you feel, also giving him the chance to tell you how he feels.

From that conversation, you would know for certain, if alcohol is responsible for his act, or he is nursing some inner emptiness and pains or whatever it is.

Have a physical and sincere conversation with him.

decatalyst:
You dad has an inner pain

Imagine the nonsense you typed. Inner pain will make a grown up man like that to wash his dirty linen in public and put his family at risk?

Stop giving excuses for bad behaviors.

MufasaLion:


Imagine the nonsense you typed. Inner pain will make a grown up man like that to wash his dirty linen in public and put his family at risk?

Stop giving excuses for bad behaviors.

You could have portrayed being sensible without the golden part. But alas! Seems you are more damaged!

when i keep things to my self all the time that is when i receive the name "secret boy" from my dad and everyone knows it.

Unfortunately that's the only thing giving the old man joy.

There's a miss somewhere.

decatalyst:


You could have portrayed being sensible without the golden part. But alas! Seems you are more damaged!

Damaged? Hell no!

You seem to be the damaged one since you run your mouth like a faulty tap to anyone just like his father!

Goodbye!

MufasaLion:


Damaged? Hell no!

You seem to be the damaged one since you run your mouth like a faulty tap to anyone just like his father!

Goodbye!

You are senile!

ChizzyBuna:
Guys im so angry right now.
I recently found out that my father has a habit of telling outsiders private and secret things discussed by the family.
It starts when he goes out to visit his friends
Soon as they start drinking , he will start opening mouth like tap.
Telling everybody pur secret family issues without Shame.
The worst part is that this is the man I have been telling some of my deep secrets.
I call him on phone almost every week
My sisters do communicate with him well

Now im scared of coming back home this December cuz everybody now knows everything about me.

Na your father you dey insult like this? That man need to go for DNA test because as I dey see you like this? You are a bastard

decatalyst:


You are senile!

Seems you just learnt a new word. Unfortunately for you, this word doesn't apply to me.

Go learn another one and come back.

MufasaLion:


Seems you just learnt a new word. Unfortunately for you, this word doesn't apply to me.

Go learn another one and come back.

Quite laughable and it suffice to pass time, albeit unfortunately.

Biko, skedaddle from here into your hole.

Your dad discuss his family issues with his friend(s) who is probably a confidant. You on the other discuss your family with the world ( nairaland forum. Sir, you're your dad pro max.

Your dad discuss his family issues with his friend(s) who is/are probably a confidant. You on the other discuss your family with the world ( nairaland forum. Sir, you're your dad pro max.

Don't relay your secrets to him.

Keep your life situations shut from him.

People's lives had been wrecked because of the attitude your dad is displaying.

Who knows , may be you got sacked because he talked to your enemy that you had a job?

Now you know what manner of man he is, be careful of spilling your personal secrets to him.

ChizzyBuna:
I need advice on what to do
This man has been my confidant for some years. I tell him things other people don't tell their fathers.
Am I wrong for trying to bond and communicate with my father?
I just feel betrayed, and I don't even feel like talking to him or coming back for Xmas.
I will just block him and speak to my mother only.

Stop telling him anything again and distance yourself a little from him

ChizzyBuna:
I need advice on what to do
This man has been my confidant for some years. I tell him things other people don't tell their fathers.
Am I wrong for trying to bond and communicate with my father?
I just feel betrayed, and I don't even feel like talking to him or coming back for Xmas.
I will just block him and speak to my mother only.

OP i understand you trust me it is not good at all i hate that with all my life,whatever we discussed as family stays between us.

So reduce the way you tell him some things you just have to try to do that,e get something's wey outsider no suppose dey hear we don't know who is who,bad belle too dey dis world

ChizzyBuna:
I need advice on what to do
This man has been my confidant for some years. I tell him things other people don't tell their fathers.
Am I wrong for trying to bond and communicate with my father?
I just feel betrayed, and I don't even feel like talking to him or coming back for Xmas.
I will just block him and speak to my mother only.

Bro, we have only few sensible and matured people on here that would understand. Some of them don’t have a life outside Nairaland so you gotta ignore them.
My advice is that sometimes we always feel we need to listen to others show us the right path in order not to make a mistake but anything you know you want badly, you have to sit down, think and not say a word to anyone about it.
For some, it is their mother that doesn’t know how to keep family issues private…out of too much joy, they tend to even tell their enemies. I learnt in a hard way bro, its better you talk to someone that doesn’t even know much about you than those that can use words of the mouth to ruin your plans. And stop giving a f**k about what people say, the time you are wasting in doing it is not worth it!!!

He wasn’t announcing it now. It’s normal for him to chip that in when having a chit-chat with his friends, especially if they have been friends for years and are now like family. The friend too must have been telling him things and they are able to both cruise this life knowing they both have challenges here and there.
Maybe you are not okay with the type of friends he has.

ChizzyBuna:
Guys im so angry right now.
I recently found out that my father has a habit of telling outsiders private and secret things discussed by the family.
It starts when he goes out to visit his friends
Soon as they start drinking , he will start opening mouth like tap.
Telling everybody pur secret family issues without Shame.
The worst part is that this is the man I have been telling some of my deep secrets.
I call him on phone almost every week
My sisters do communicate with him well

Now im scared of coming back home this December cuz everybody now knows everything about me.

Die d mata. Him talk am to see if elp fit come from the society.

I'm currently learning to keep my things to myself nowadays. I've been telling my family too much about me, and it's giving them the opportunity to monitor my life.

You may decide to take such approach too. My mom also has the habit of telling people about what's happening to her children, but I always warn her sternly whenever I tell her things. She's learning now though, she now sees that telling people your problem to get sympathy would only give them reasons to mock you. Who go help go still help.

Start keeping your things to yourself, you're old enough to face your life.

Dem no dey talk secret with microphone, na with low voice. Your papa name na MIKE?