i926:


I never believed her story anyway.

And next time, you dont have to explain yourself like you did now. I don't like it.

Long posts from men is a sign that they're difficult and nags.

NoToPile:





This lady ehn Chai

The best and most effective way to say no to pile is to take a dosage of Daflon 500mg and kotase. Thank me later

mariahAngel:
Breeze don blow!
E remain make Gâbless fiance come tell us im own side of their story.

Na why I no dey judge based on one sided story especially half baked

We are waiting

LilMissFavvy:
This post is a fake post, meaning the first one was also fake.

FAKE FAKE FAKE

It's a talkative man who is miles away from his home and trying to assert his importance over that if his wife.

The two of them are similar in tactics. At least they're both sticking to the same story line.

jubrilELsudan:


ODE

Mr. ODE, come out with new insult. That one is stale. You are becoming asinine.

Abilistic:


If you’re being true to yourself and it isn't enough for the people around you, maybe it's time to change the people around you.

Thanks for echoing this again.
I started breathing much fresher air the moment I did this sometime ago.....

membranus:


Mr. ODE, come out with new insult. That one is stale. You are becoming asinine.

THUNDER FIRE YOU YOU VILLAGE SACRIFICE

This man obviously is madly in love with his wife....the wife is only cranked up cos of lack of affection and sex she isn't presently getting...love her right and she would be a perfect wife.

This man is Gold.
God bless you.
I know your pain because I have experienced this.
You did great.
Hope your wife sees reason and if she doesn't LIFE GOES ON!

Hmm, maybe. Hopefully, she had appologised and he will forgive.

BRATISLAVA:


It's a talkative man who is miles away from his home and trying to assert his importance over that if his wife.

The two of them are similar in tactics. At least they're both sticking to the same story line.

BRATISLAVA:
More claims of innocence from a man miles away from his wife. She needs to come back and expose him some more. And then he can play his innocent trope again.

All we have here is simply him claiming he's so maltreated and he's doing so much, meanwhile he's all but abandoned her with toddlers half way across the globe from himself.

He needs to get on his knees and pray for his marriage. The strange woman that's making him resent his wife isn't good for him. He needs to invite the Lord to restore his marriage, because marriage is all about forgiveness, not the revenge he's showing us.

I agree that 7 years away from home is not yams . But the rest of your statement is not fair . Based on his narrative he is still in active communication with her and her family . Besides he said he had the same attitude from her when they were together physically . Maybe baba use style run away from her wahala , we may never know . There may be reasons they have not shared that keeps them in two different countries .

pocohantas:
Naso. Una done start.

From Joro to Joro.

see wetin you dey talk na,if reverse was the case now,you don rush castrate the man to death,dey run mouth up and down and dem go dey hail you queen poko your head go dey swell.....you dey try wan dey form neutral but last last all of una na the same.....

NoToPile:





This lady ehn Chai

I been suspect the first thread, but I say maybe na serious person. But this supposed thread from the husband has confirmed my suspicion.

This issue should have been resolved or discussed offline. The Madam f up...

I m happy you guys came out of this safely! this is a form of domestic issues that some couples are unlucky to give the tales.

So, your decision to give peace a chance is great!

There are 3 factors that can make a woman behave like this:

1. She never loves and respect you, not even 10%.

2. She is a cheat who is emotionally imbalance.

3. She has mental issue.

Op made a very big mistake by allowing her to continue this way in the name of being a good husband. If all you wrote were true, I swear she can't live in the same house with me for 2 months. Infact where did you guys see these kind of women sef.

BRATISLAVA:


It's a talkative man who is miles away from his home and trying to assert his importance over that if his wife.

The two of them are similar in tactics. At least they're both sticking to the same story line.

He's no longer asserting. He has made peace with the woman by freeing her to search for another man that will tolerate her. He has moved on, am certain that will be his last statement on the issue. The woman too should move on, no need for her to bring the issue to Nairaland in first place....
All things being equal, you can now rest before you sound feminist....

Everywhere's good....

Brother , women are generally the way you described your wife.
1. Keeping malice unnecessarily.
2. Turning around to blame you if you've decided to go along with the malice and not beg.
3. They are always exhausted with the kids. If kids no dey na another wahala.
4. They always claim to be overworked etc, to seek "weldone" from your mouth.
5. Cry foul when you reciprocate the harsh and cold treatment They dish out.

It up to you to accept these and continue with your marriage. I know you miss the peace of mind during bachelorhood days. The kids will always give joy that makes you happy.

Romanoff:
It takes two to make a marriage work. Your wife is terrible at communicating and she seems to be stuck in her ways.

Despite all of this, the marriage is still fixable if both of you are willing to accept your faults and work on each other in other to work on your marriage.

Asides infidelity or abuse, I think this marriage is fixable if work is put into it.

But are you two willing?

Settle wetin? U want to convince him to go back to prison when he is enjoying his peace? Good luck with that.

The number 1 thing I look for is "if we fight, can we settle?"

Sadly, majority of women always think they can never do wrong. And I always move quickly to terminate whatever we have together, I no come this world come beg u

MuslimIgbo:
Good.
[/b]

Seriously, you are bitter, ignorant and your sanity is held by a tiny, weary thread.

So, I, the true son of his father will now come to Nairaland to thrash issues with my wife. Not even my dead body. If my wife decides to show the mental unstable part of her by bringing family issues to Nairaland, I will not come down to that gutter level

Divorce for your sanity please! (Check to make sure you're not effed financially).

ontarioache:
Hello all,

A mutual friend has drawn my attention to this thread

https://www.nairaland.com/7357845/complex-marital-issue-thoughts-please/15#117128240

MY RESPONSE.
First let me thank our mutual friend Imelda for drawing my attention to this.

Well, I am here to set the record straight.
I did not see any need to respond, but some commentators really got me laughing hard so let me indulge you all.

To kick start, I am in touch with my 2 kids on almost a daily basis, and the event she described is not the first time. Hanging up on me is a routine since we married, it has happened un-countable times. Also the guys that said I am childish are right, when they finish reading they will truly know that, no man will behave the way I have, except a child. Lastly, I am fully responsible for the upkeep of my family, every penny and not much age difference between us. I have never hung up on her for one day. She has even blocked me on phone over some arguments while we live in same house. (LOL)

For the readers, what happened is this :

You called me that you were going to made some budget and you will be spending … amount of money on that plans- you know the plan. I told you it was okay and we kept on talking about It. ( I did not raise any issue immediately to avoid conflict) so after some days, I told you that next time, it will be appropriate that we ought to discuss such plans together and that it was not the best for you to decide all by yourself and only informed me of what you have chosen to do for a decision that affects the both of us. You flared up immediately that I do not have the right to tell you that, and THAT YOU ARE ALONE WITH THE CHILDREN (like you always say) and furthermore, you said you have many things that you are doing at the same time. I then replied you that I also have many things going through my mind. ( I replied you this way because you always say this, anytime I want to have a discussion with you. You even say this even while we were together, and I will just be amazed). You flared up and insulted me then hung up.

I called you immediately many times. I called you again at night, I sent you several messages, although I did not apologize directly but the messages I sent reflected that I was sorry. In one of the messages, I explained that I was critical of the amount you intend to spend , because you do know we have other more pressing plans that we needed funds for, and that what your budgeted was a bit too high. But you refused to let go like you have always done for these 8 years. Every week for 6 weeks I sent you messages that you never replied to.

In this period, you also changed apartment without even deeming it fit to tell me. (Yes I know before this misunderstanding, it was already the plan that you will be changing apartment. But the anger still did not allow you tell me as at when you finally moved to the new apartment, till now, it has been more than 3 months that you moved, you still did not inform me although the children told me about it, you know they did, but I expected that at least you should tell me about it by yourself.)

I did not just stop picking your calls because I wanted to stop, I did it for my self respect and sanity. It is the first time I am refusing to pick your call, or even not to talk to you after 8 years of marriage.

Have I ever held any grudge against you for more than 24hrs ?, have you ever had to apologise more than once on anything without me accepting your apology immediately, that is even if you choose to apologise at all. ? !. Rather you are the one that reminds me at every giving opportunity that I know you can decide not to talk to me again and stay on you own, and that I am the one that will suffer. In precise terms, you always do this, while I was at home. You can stay on for weeks and months without talking to me for the slightest misunderstanding, I am always the one that will try and make peace, and each time you either humiliate me by refusing to make peace till whenever you are satisfied. It has been like this for these 8 years. Even if I want to hold a discussion with you at home, it is either you are busy on the phone, and If I try to ask you to focus you just tell me I should summarize and that you listen with your ears, and not your phone or your hands. However, sometimes ( like 20 per cent of cases) you do listen to me.

Even when the children are being difficult, you threaten them by telling them to go ask their father the kind of person you are, and that you do not tolerate nonsense from anyone.(lol, when I was young, our mothers threathen us with our father) Yes, you are right, I wonder why you are so proud of these difficult attributes of yours.

Recall that before that very day that you hung up on me,( in fact also since the beginning of the union), you have been insulting me on each time I call, If we are discussing and I ask you a question about what you have said, you always say that I don’t pay attention. You accuse me of not caring about how you managed the children alone by yourself. I understand it is hard to raise 2 kids under the age of 6 all by yourself, however like I have always told you, lets thank God, it could have been worse- not having children is hard, having children is also hard.Remember at home, your mother and your sister once said that, I show too much care for the kids and that is the weakness that you are using against me. This is from your own family. Imelda was also there !

I can barely talk to you on phone, each time I call you, you tell me you are busy with the kids, and most times you just ask me to summarise and then you hang up even while we were at home together, you say the same thing.

Recently before this sad event you even said if I do not call before 9.45pm, I can no longer reach you, few times when I have to call like few minutes to your deadline, no matter how important our discussion is, once it s 9.45 pm, the phone disconnects and that will be it.You can not even bend that rule for me. You barely return my calls, if you see my missed calls, sometimes it may take you days and most times you do not return them at all, if I ask, you are quick to say, you are alone managing the children and that your are already too stressed up to be bothered about missed calls.

Much earlier than this incident that you hung up on me, you asked me never to wish you any kind of good wishes like happy birthdays, Christmas, mother’s day and all those. Because you said I do not care that it is all lip service. I thought it was just frustration, but for the last 1 year, you have consistently refused to respond to my Christmas, New Year and even your birthday wishes.You ignored all my wishes!
5 months before that faithful day that you escalated your disdain for me to a whole new level, you talked to me on the phone with reckless abandon, even on my birthday, you managed to call me around 11 pm and your birthday wish to me was this “ I WISH YOU WHAT YOU WISH YOURSELF”, I told you it was not a fair wish, and the next thing, it led to outburst again and that was that, and you hung up.

Remember, you forgot my birthday for the past 3 consecutive years.

Obviously, in the preceding 5 months, you have been looking for what I will do so that you can cut me off, the opportunity came and you took it like a Viking.

How often can a married woman stay without getting in contact with her husband for this long over a matter as simple as that, and she is not bothered at all.

I needed to let go for once. I am tired of fighting for the advancement of this union. It has been 8 years of this gruesome treatment. You think everyone is wrong apart from you.

Please if there is any FALSEHOOD in what I have written, I will be glad that you tell your audience. IMELDA YOUR SISTER IS READING THIS AND SHE CAN TESTIFY TO ALL THESE. Moreover, this is just one small aspect of all that has happened these past 8 years. I just decided to skip a thousand others.I only choose to focus on this alone. You know there are a thousand things that are worse than this that you have done.

I am glad that the vast majority of your audience could not be manipulated by your story.

Maybe I would have just stayed back home in Nairobi 7 years ago, may it could not have been this bad. This is my Canada reality!

I would be a liar if I say it has not been daunting and I do not miss you. However, I have since come to the realization that no matter what , no man should dine in the table where love, respect and dignity are not served ! This is my new reality!

Dear Wife, Enjoy your own reality that you created for yourself and stay blessed...!

BRATISLAVA:


She's also better off without you, it's not as if you're a saint.

You guys always want it to seem like you're the only ones who turned down women and are married. Many women who turned down men are married, too. Ask around.

I stated my perspective based on my preference in a similar personal experience. It is not a competition between men and women . It’s a personal choice. Same way I don’t blame a woman that wants to marry a rich dude or a man that wants a woman with big yansh . It’s a matter of personal choice .

I turned her down because she was not the kind of woman I wanted . She tried to reestablish communication but I was already committed to someone else .
She is also married now to someone who obviously wants her .

BRATISLAVA:


How can women kill their husbands always in you people's book? A man will be 60 and looking for a flexible 20 year old virgin and make her his wife. Later on, when he logically dies first, and all the Nigerian men go,

"She killed him, she took away his peace of mind, men are suffering so much in marriage"

You people don't know what you want.

na true we no know wetin we want. But na this particular woman we dey talk about abeg no generalise matter. They dey almost the same age bracket abi you no read him write up. Always supporting what you ought not to. Read and understand his write up. I was talking based on the woman and you came here generalising the context.

God will do Shishi

This is why some people end up killing themselves. Even if he does, she will not care, it will make no difference.

This needs to be divorce.

general111:
The woman you married is a bitter woman...
You obviously love her more than she loves you...
God will help your marriage

mich2012:


Lol @ last paragraph

Boss as e be me for mind, body and soul naso I type am out

Wow.
I remember the first post. Silly woman. Cut off her husband for 9weeks... Still the first to run to social media with story story! Some women are so vile! And what's the big deal about raising 2 children that she is busy raising dust? I even thot she was working and raising the kids not knowing the husband is the one supporting her. So he should finish hustling hard to get money now come back to back baby for you abi? I am beginning to agree with those that say not to take your wives abroad as it seems one kind of evil spirit enters into them and doesn't stop until they wreck your sanity!
Oga, pls leave that woman to wallow in her bitterness biko! Find something that gives you joy, do good by your children and just keep your head up. Good luck.

Talk your full mind and stop going through the corners Aunty Poco.

pocohantas:
Naso. Una done start.

From Joro to Joro.

oladipuposadeeq:
na true we no know wetin we want. But na this particular woman we dey talk about abeg no generalise matter. They dey almost the same age bracket abi you no read him write up. Always supporting what you ought not to. Read and understand his write up. I was talking based on the woman and you came here generalising the context.

You should've specified the context of this couple, not the woman alone. Or just "women".

Marriage to idiots is overrated.

OkpaNsukkaisBae:
Olosho go give you 17 missed calls by 12am if she saw 'one missed' call from man/client by 11:59pm but naija wife/gf go give u call schedule & block u.


No be juju be dis. Abeg marriage is overrated.

I wish there a button for voice note here.
Brother, you're lucky you are yet to bring your so called bitter wife to Canada.

You're very lucky.
Divorce her and never look back.

Those are my advice.

wisdomkid:


Seriously, you are bitter, ignorant and your sanity is held by a tiny, weary thread.

I don't blame children of retired oloshos who has taken after their mother, and unfortunate dogs that has ended up marrying USED PRODUCTS AND LEFTOVERS.

THEY WOULD DEFINITELY BE OFFENDED BY MY POST.