Hey guys, my ex girlfriend is 7 months pregnant. She doesn't want to have anything to do with me cos I didn't want to carry the responsibility of her four sisters.

She is 24 orphen and the oldest of seven children. She is a fruit seller and the pregnancy wasn't plan she took in 6 months into the relationship but I have accepted the responsibility and I wanted to make her my wife.

First of all I wanted us to discussed about her sisters living arrangements after the wedding and she said she wanted to bring all four who are under 18 to live with us after the wedding and I rejected.

I suggested that the youngest two can live with us while the other two can stay with the aunty but she refused.

She said the relationship was over and she doesn't need me in her life that she will take care of the baby alone.

I've told her even if she doesn't want me in her life anymore she should not stop me from helping her financially because I want our baby to be born in good condition but she refused.

Last week I sent 30k to her account for baby stuffs and she sent the money back to me saying she doesn't need a kobo from me she will take care of the baby alone.

I want to leave her alone but it is hard for me to do so cos she is carrying my child. It will not be easy for me to give up easily I just want to be a part of my daughter life. What do you guys think please?

It's a difficult situation...

1. You can't let her alone suffer in this condition with your baby.

2. It's quite difficult and almost impossible to feed four extra mouths, yourself, your wife-to-be, and her unborn baby.

Anyways, needless to judge you, let's do the positive.

I think she loves her sisters so much and don't want anyone to exploit or abuse them. But of course, she shouldn't make it look like your responsibility.

That aside. If you can, can you discuss renting a place for the other two clearly stating the degree of inconvenience it will be for all four to be with you both? Maybe, starting sth like a small-scale business they can manage and sell? Even if two of the eldest manage the business and the other little two stay with you? If you can?

Is it sth you can afford?

There are no rules in love.

Don't get me wrong. I know it's not your responsibility...but like you said, she's an orphan. Maybe she feeds her siblings..and of course, this condition will prevent that. I don't see any wrong in helping people if I have the means either.

Also attempt to erase the thought of you doing her a favor, maybe by sending her money for upkeep. Yeah, I know it's common for folks to advise you to stop sending the money since it looks like a favor...but man, remember it's your life that happens not theirs. It's your baby.

I see you only have a problem with their staying with you..but haven't a problem helping them. Whilst it may look impossible, if you are in a situation to help them from your heart, you can do so without inconveniencing yourself too.


Nice of you to take responsibility!
Ignore the irritants!
Be the man.

I wish you success.


Lalasticlala, mynd44 come help this OP

Give her space for now, while you save the money you are meant to be giving her. For now i think its the pregnant hormones raging

When reality kicks in, she will need your help. Think of it if she is really capable of looking after the child alone, then why does she want her sisters to live with you?

Don't allow her sisters to live with you. If you are capable enough you can offer to rent them an apartment. I repeat don't allow her sisters to live with you. As you said one can stay to assist her but not all. Keep sending her money for upkeep. Is your family aware of this whole drama? I think you need someone either from your family or her family to talk to her. She is throwing a big load on you and you need to reject it boldly and find another way to assist them.

Don't allow all the rest to live with you. Talking from experience. My friend wife family move in with them and the end was a big fight. He ran away from his house las las when he can't bear it anymore.

Can you afford to start up something for her sisters so they can support themselves? She's probably Afraid of them being molested when they aren't under her care.

tensazangetsu20:
Can you afford to start up something for her sisters so they can support themselves? She's probably Afraid of them being molested when they aren't under her care.

sounds good but also one might feel used becoz its not his responsibility to uplift them

relatives from both side of parents are the ones responsible for helping them to be on their feet
The girlfriend is fully responsible to uplift her sisters without making it the responsibility of her boyfriend/hubby to be

Yes he can do it out of love of his girlfriend but from the post he doesnt want to be sort of used

ZIMDRILL:


sounds good but also one might feel used becoz its not his responsibility to uplift them

relatives from both side of parents are the ones responsible for helping them to be on their feet

Yes he can do it out of love of his girlfriend but from the post he doesnt want to be sort of used

But the girl is an orphan.

Op is in a terrible situation. I wonder why he would be foolish enough to impregnate a woman from such a background. Men just complicate their lives anyhow.

tensazangetsu20:


But the girl is an orphan.

Op is in a terrible situation. I wonder why he would be foolish enough to impregnate a woman from such a background. Men just complicate their lives anyhow.

Being an orphan doesnt mean all extended families are also dead unless they never knew other relatives

Its a common thing for girls to deliberately fall pregnant and be married to escape poverty

ZIMDRILL:


Being an orphan doesnt mean all extended families are also dead unless they never knew other relatives

Its a common thing for girls to deliberately fall pregnant and be married to escape poverty

na wa o. Goodluck to op. He don buy market for the next 25 to 30 years . Not just his unborn child. The wives siblings and also his own family

Don't fall for her emotional blackmail. If you cannot afford to take care of her sisters, continue to stand your ground.

Just continue to be available to be in your child's life. After delivery, hormones gone and she found out that the emotional blackmail is not working, she will accept your help or even come back to you.

Tob456:
Hey guys, my ex girlfriend is 7 months pregnant she doesn't want to have anything to do with me cos I didn't want to carry the responsibility of her four sisters. She is 24 orphen and the oldest of seven children. she is a fruit seller and the pregnancy wasn't plan she took in 6 months into the relationship but I have accepted the responsibility and I wanted to make her my wife.
First of all I wanted us to discussed about her sisters living arrangements after the wedding and she said she wanted to bring all four who are under 18 to live with us after the wedding and I rejected.
I suggested that the youngest two can live with us while the other two can stay with the aunty but she refused.
she said the relationship was over and she doesn't need me in her life that she will take care of the baby alone.
I've told her even if she doesn't want me in her life anymore she should not stop me from helping her financially because I want our baby to be born in good condition but she refused.
Last week I sent 30k to her account for baby stuffs and she sent the money back to me saying she doesn't need a kobo from me she will take care of the baby alone.
I want to leave her alone but it is hard for me to do so cos she is carrying my child it will not be easy for me to give up easily I just want to be a part of my daughter life. What do you guys think please

I really like what she has done to you, there is high possibility you have made her feel she was a leech and probably said more than what you have written it's not nice, she is an orphan am sure you know all these when you were enjoying her honeypot. To be fair, I would prefer to hear from her before any advice because for denying your responsibility initially put question mark on your integrity.

Your sole responsibility is to your child. Full stop.

Don't even allow her "half-sister(s)" not to even talk of two to stay under your roof should in case she comes to her senses to marry you - an advanced method in manipulating you. She got pregnant because she wanted to gain marriage and security for her siblings but got it messed up. She doesn't desire you. She doesn't like you. She's after her selfish gains.

Try sending money for the upkeep of your child again or thrice and if she repeats the same bad attitude, bounce, bounce, bounce away from her life. You did your best. Don't worry, your child will hear the other side of the story when he/she becomes an adult.

PS: Op make sure you go for a paternity test. This should be your priority now as per the pregnancy.

Take care.

Another wahala

tensazangetsu20:


But the girl is an orphan.

Op is in a terrible situation. I wonder why he would be foolish enough to impregnate a woman from such a background. Men just complicate their lives anyhow.

You mean she is not a victim of her circumstances and she should be avoided?

Omo, forget sha. You may not know but many of us share the same degree of hardship. It's was never our fault.

I don't say it's his responsibility but dissuading him at this point isn't the best advice.

CaveAdullam:
Your sole responsibility is to your child. Full stop.

Don't even allow her "half-sister(s)" not to even talk of two to stay under your roof should in case she comes to her senses to marry you - an advanced method in manipulating you. She got pregnant because she wanted to gain marriage and security for her siblings but got it messed up. She doesn't desire you. She doesn't like you. She's after her selfish gains.

Try sending money again for the upkeep of your child again or thrice and if she repeats the same bad attitude, bounce, bounce, bounce away from her life. You did your best. Don't worry, your child will hear the other side of the story when he/she becomes an adult.

Take care.

Omo,

How you people judge tho!
Yes, one shouldn't marry out of pity, meanwhile, how did she get pregnant by herself!

Even if you've seen a lot in women, first things first, his penis was the one who penetrated. His penis wasn't kidnapped. His penis produced the child.

It's his responsibility now.

chatinent:


Omo,

How you people judge tho!
Yes, one shouldn't marry out of pity, meanwhile, how did she get pregnant by herself?

Even if you've seen a lot in women, first things first, his penis was the one that penetrated. His penis wasn't kidnapped. His penis produced the child.

It's his responsibility now.

Women have a 100% right to decide if pregnancy can happen or not. Women are the gatekeepers of sex. Pregnancy is expensive. Therefore it is expedient for a woman to know the kind of man she is dealing with before fvcking him. The man can ghost her easily, but what about her and her protruding belly - more reasons she must abstain from sex or use contraceptives.

The man has the sole responsibility to take care of the child and he must which is not a debate here. In this scenario, the woman is rejecting his duties, so what do you want the young man to do? Go rent a house for her sisters you say...chuckles.

She hasn't considered the financial strength of her baby daddy and the financial structures that must be set in place to achieve safe parturition and child upkeep. Here she is only campaigning for the welfare of her siblings, which indicates that she aimed to leverage the pregnancy to find shelter and food for her siblings. She made a good move though, but she met a good player too.

The woman can decide to keep her child and the onus is on her. The man shouldn't abdicate his responsibilities, and where he isn't respected he shouldn't be found there.

The child will grow up to hear the other side of the story. Just hope the OP doesn't fall for this manipulation.

Tob456:
Hey guys, my ex girlfriend is 7 months pregnant she doesn't want to have anything to do with me cos I didn't want to carry the responsibility of her four sisters. She is 24 orphen and the oldest of seven children. she is a fruit seller and the pregnancy wasn't plan she took in 6 months into the relationship but I have accepted the responsibility and I wanted to make her my wife.
First of all I wanted us to discussed about her sisters living arrangements after the wedding and she said she wanted to bring all four who are under 18 to live with us after the wedding and I rejected.
I suggested that the youngest two can live with us while the other two can stay with the aunty but she refused.
she said the relationship was over and she doesn't need me in her life that she will take care of the baby alone.
I've told her even if she doesn't want me in her life anymore she should not stop me from helping her financially because I want our baby to be born in good condition but she refused.
Last week I sent 30k to her account for baby stuffs and she sent the money back to me saying she doesn't need a kobo from me she will take care of the baby alone.
I want to leave her alone but it is hard for me to do so cos she is carrying my child it will not be easy for me to give up easily I just want to be a part of my daughter life. What do you guys think please

I think she is not okay
How can four girls be living with you guys?
She dey reason?

If you are financially capable please help all of them and accept her sisters as yours. Also know that God will punish you if you abandon her in her pregnancy state that you are responsible for. Keep begging her to accept your help

She said she doesn't need your money because you have been rubbing her poverty in her face.




She's better off without you.

You were dating a single mother and you didn't use your sense waka instead of legs.



Did you ask her what will happen to her siblings if and when she gets married before impregnating her?

Calibrator:
You were dating a single mother and you didn't use your sense waka instead of legs.



Did you ask her what will happen to her siblings if and when she gets married before impregnating her?

Did you read the whole thing at all?

I don't think so

Maybe the baby isn't yours? Do you think she might of cheated and feels guilty so she decided to let you off easy? I'd have a paternity test done.

A lady taking sole responsibility for her younger siblings is a single mother in my own opinion.

Before you start dicking a lady raw on a constant basis, there are some questions you should ask because of unforeseen circumstances.

Oloniyan:



Did you read the whole thing at all?

I don't think so

We Nigerians are overly emotional and unreasoning when it comes to toddlers and children.

I'm, sure you like yourself and you want peace. If so, stay away from that young woman. If in the future, she asks for your help, render it. Else, stay away.

How do you know that the child she is carrying in her womb is yours? How do you know she did not simply tell another guy that the baby is his and that the other guy is now taking care of all her needs for herself and her baby, and that you are now making yourself an inconvenience by insisting on being in the picture?

What do you think she may be ready to do to remove you from the picture, so you don't spoil what she has with the other guy? That is how many of you set yourself up to be killed because of your lack of thought and your innate foolishness.

I will say it again: stay away. In fact, flee from that young woman and going forward, handle her with a vey long spoon if she corresponds with you.

I also hope your foolishness will reset your mind for your next relationship. If you are going to get married, do not let any relative (yours or hers) to come live with you. That is, if you want your marriage to succeed.

Also ask yourself why you want to get married. Then write down what you are bringing to the table and what your other half is bringing to the table. No man or woman should go and carry a liability with your eyes open, no matter what. That thing from your partner that is sweeting you today, will become of no consequence in a short time and you will live with the consequences of your decision for a very long time.

There is no law that says every man or woman must be married. Concentrate on making yourself a better person and meeting your objectives in life, whatever they are and however small or large they may be. There are several avenues of satisfying one's urges in our generation. Marry only because there is no other avenue of getting what you desire. If there is an avenue of getting what you desire, apart from marriage, use that avenue.

It is time to start thinking and not just do things because every fool around you is doing them the same way.

Tob456:
Hey guys, my ex girlfriend is 7 months pregnant she doesn't want to have anything to do with me cos I didn't want to carry the responsibility of her four sisters. She is 24 orphen and the oldest of seven children. she is a fruit seller and the pregnancy wasn't plan she took in 6 months into the relationship but I have accepted the responsibility and I wanted to make her my wife.
First of all I wanted us to discussed about her sisters living arrangements after the wedding and she said she wanted to bring all four who are under 18 to live with us after the wedding and I rejected.
I suggested that the youngest two can live with us while the other two can stay with the aunty but she refused.
she said the relationship was over and she doesn't need me in her life that she will take care of the baby alone.
I've told her even if she doesn't want me in her life anymore she should not stop me from helping her financially because I want our baby to be born in good condition but she refused.
Last week I sent 30k to her account for baby stuffs and she sent the money back to me saying she doesn't need a kobo from me she will take care of the baby alone.
I want to leave her alone but it is hard for me to do so cos she is carrying my child it will not be easy for me to give up easily I just want to be a part of my daughter life. What do you guys think please

Calibrator:
A lady taking sole responsibility for her younger siblings is a single mother in my own opinion.

Before you start dicking a lady raw on a constant basis, there are some questions you should ask because of unforeseen circumstances.

You're Definitely right. He should have set things straight even before getting intimate with the banny

I don't understand why marriage has to be used as a poverty alleviation scheme. You are marrying a person and not a community.
Just ignore her and open an account where you will be saving money for your kid. That money will come in handy in future. Also make sure you conduct a DNA test before spending that money for the kid in future.

Save up the money- she'll need it (if she doesn't have another man whom she has "given" the baby to). I don't believe she's refusing your help just because she wants you to take in her sisters! For all you care; the baby may not be yours and the father is already taking care of her

This is a difficult situation to dissect.

1. Reach to that her sister, and discuss issues with her based on the plan you have for her...

2. Try as much as possible to reach your pregnant girl also and ask if she will foot the bill of the girls she's bringing, if her answer is affirmative, then you have nothing to fear...