Good afternoon everyone, I'm not new here, but I changed my moniker for this purpose.
I'm in need of advice from this honorable house.
I'm an assistant Pastor of a Church. I'm married and yet to have kids. My marriage is just 2 years and some months. My dilemma is with my senior Pastor. Although we tend to operate more of a father and son kind of relationship than official and formal type,I'm getting uncomfortable with the way he is going about my not having a child yet challenge. Personally, I'm not desperate nor hopeless about the child matter, but the way he keeps going about it is really getting on my nerves, and I'm seriously considering tendering my resignation from the local church. Mind you, I've never gone to him or anyone to complain that I am desperately in need of a child, this is because I don't see it as a problem and I believe that at God's own time and way, He will make a way.
Sometime ago, he took me and my wife to a hospital for test, even when I told him that we don't have any medical problems, the results came out and he saw that we are OK. I obliged him because I wanted to douse his curiosity.
We've held some prayers together too. In all these, i didn't have a problem with his concerns as I felt it will be ungrateful of me. From time to time, he will want to pry into my privacy by asking some questions, which I will tell him the truth. Yet he will call my wife and try to know from her the same things, and my wife will feel uncomfortable because he should be discussing such with me and not her.
During women meetings in the Church, the wife will always want to bring my wife out for prayers, and my wife started getting uncomfortable because she is a private person. After some time, seeing how unhappy it was making my wife, I asked her to stop attending the women meetings. After some months of my wife not attending, I allowed her to attend a prayer meeting one of the days at the behest of one of the women in the Church that pleaded with me to allow her to come. Before I allowed her to go, I told the woman why I don't allow my wife to join in their meetings anymore. The woman assured me that they close on time and they pray generally. My wife went for that prayer meeting, and sat close to this very woman that pleaded she come. Just before they are to roundup, gbam, the Pastor's wife called my wife out for prayers for the fruit of the womb. When she came back and told me, I just ignored since the woman that pleaded with me to allow her come was there.
Fast-forward to yesterday, the senior pastor just before the sermon announced to the church that his daughter just gave birth and the whole church celebrated with him. The next thing he did was to call me out and 2 other Pastors and our wifes that are yet to have children too, and asked the Church to stand up and pray for us. Though I came out, but honestly I was very bitter within me. I felt embarrassed and humiliated. All through yesterday I tried to take my mind off the incident, but whenever I remember it, I get angry up till this moment I'm writing.
I wanted to go to him to register my anger and grievance, but two persons have told me to let go, but I'm still not feeling any better.
I brought this here because I know some matured and experienced believers are here. So I'll need your candid advice. No insults please. Thanks and God bless as you help a brother.

Pray let the lord kill the mortal thinking and body that make you anger, pray children are blesseing from the lord

Please forgive my long post, wasn't intensional even though I tried to skip much details.

Pastsoul:
Pray let the lord kill the mortal thinking and body that make you anger, pray children are blesseing from the lord

thanks for your contribution, though I don't really understand what you said. Thanks

Loadedgrace:
Fast-forward to yesterday, the senior pastor just before the sermon announced to the church that his daughter just gave birth and the whole church celebrated with him. The next thing he did was to call me out and 2 other Pastors and our wifes that are yet to have children too, and asked the Church to stand up and pray for us. Though I came out, but honestly I was very bitter within me. I felt embarrassed and humiliated. All through yesterday I tried to take my mind off the incident, but whenever I remember it, I get angry up till this moment I'm writing.
I wanted to go to him to register my anger and grievance, but two persons have told me to let go, but I'm still not feeling any better.
I brought this here because I know some matured and experienced believers are here. So I'll need your candid advice. No insults please. Thanks and God bless as you help a brother.

Religion is indeed for the mentally inadequate. What you describe is simply workplace bullying and nothing else.

Look, you are clearly in a toxic relationship here with your pastor and his wife. Clearly those who are bullying you and your wife , and so you both need to decide whether you will remain in the relationship until you are totally damaged by it, if you will hang on for whatever reason and endure until the eventually end you desire, or if you will pack up and walk away and retain whatever is left of your sanity as individuals.

I don't have any specific advice about what actions to take. I would just say to welcome all your feelings as friends, but don't let them decide your actions. It might help to just talk to someone about it, like you're doing here. What else have you considered, besides resigning, and discussing it with your senior pastor? What are all the pros and cons?

(later) I agree with Kobojunkie calling it bullying. I would also say harassment. Look for some online resources about what to do when you're being bullied and harassed. Find ways to feel better after each incident. Also pray about it of course, and search for answers in the scriptures.

(later) Don't imagine that the oppressive behavior would ever stop, even if and when you have a child. Maybe, give it some time, to see if you can learn to keep it from demoralizing and incapacitating you. Maybe set a deadline, or some way of deciding when to resign if you can't learn to keep it from doing to much damage to your life.

Kobojunkie:
Religion is indeed for the mentally inadequate. What you describe is simply workplace bullying and nothing else.

Look, you are clearly in a toxic relationship here with your pastor and his wife. Clearly those who are bullying you and your wife , and so you both need to decide whether you will remain in the relationship until you are totally damaged by it, if you will hang on for whatever reason and endure until the eventually end you desire, or if you will pack up and walk away and retain whatever is left of your sanity as individuals.

Thanks Kobo, I got your reply. I brought it here to get contrary or outside the box opinion of what decisions to take.

ReubenSandwich:
I don't have any specific advice about what actions to take. I would just say to welcome all your feelings as friends, but don't let them decide your actions. It might help to just talk to someone about it, like you're doing here. What else have you considered, besides resigning, and discussing it with your senior pastor? What are all the pros and cons?

(later) I agree with Kobojunkie calling it bullying. I would also say harassment. Look for some online resources about what to do when you're being bullied and harassed. Find ways to feel better after each incident. Also pray about it of course, and search for answers in the scriptures.

(later) Don't imagine that the oppressive behavior would ever stop, even if and when you have a child. Maybe, give it some time, to see if you can learn to keep it from demoralizing and incapacitating you. Maybe set a deadline, or some way of deciding when to resign if you can't learn to keep it from doing to much damage to your life.

Thanks bro. Ya, I've been keeping my cool for some time now, and have discussed it with some persons before now,but they keep telling me to calm down eventhough they are also members of the same church and see what I'm talking about. I've already penned down my resignation letter, I was thinking I should hold on and share it with a lager house like this. I would've gone to talk it with him, but I have this impression about him twisting private discussions to suit his narrative.

Loadedgrace:
Thanks Kobo, I got your reply. I brought it here to get contrary or outside the box opinion of what decisions to take.

Na your life and marriage you dey let another man kick around like say na him chew toy so.

Loadedgrace:
Good afternoon everyone, I'm not new here, but I changed my moniker for this purpose.
I'm in need of advice from this honorable house.
I'm an assistant Pastor of a Church. I'm married and yet to have kids. My marriage is just 2 years and some months. My dilemma is with my senior Pastor. Although we tend to operate more of a father and son kind of relationship than official and formal type,I'm getting uncomfortable with the way he is going about my not having a child yet challenge. Personally, I'm not desperate nor hopeless about the child matter, but the way he keeps going about it is really getting on my nerves, and I'm seriously considering tendering my resignation from the local church. Mind you, I've never gone to him or anyone to complain that I am desperately in need of a child, this is because I don't see it as a problem and I believe that at God's own time and way, He will make a way.
Sometime ago, he took me and my wife to a hospital for test, even when I told him that we don't have any medical problems, the results came out and he saw that we are OK. I obliged him because I wanted to douse his curiosity.
We've held some prayers together too. In all these, i didn't have a problem with his concerns as I felt it will be ungrateful of me. From time to time, he will want to pry into my privacy by asking some questions, which I will tell him the truth. Yet he will call my wife and try to know from her the same things, and my wife will feel uncomfortable because he should be discussing such with me and not her.
During women meetings in the Church, the wife will always want to bring my wife out for prayers, and my wife started getting uncomfortable because she is a private person. After some time, seeing how unhappy it was making my wife, I asked her to stop attending the women meetings. After some months of my wife not attending, I allowed her to attend a prayer meeting one of the days at the behest of one of the women in the Church that pleaded with me to allow her to come. Before I allowed her to go, I told the woman why I don't allow my wife to join in their meetings anymore. The woman assured me that they close on time and they pray generally. My wife went for that prayer meeting, and sat close to this very woman that pleaded she come. Just before they are to roundup, gbam, the Pastor's wife called my wife out for prayers for the fruit of the womb. When she came back and told me, I just ignored since the woman that pleaded with me to allow her come was there.
Fast-forward to yesterday, the senior pastor just before the sermon announced to the church that his daughter just gave birth and the whole church celebrated with him. The next thing he did was to call me out and 2 other Pastors and our wifes that are yet to have children too, and asked the Church to stand up and pray for us. Though I came out, but honestly I was very bitter within me. I felt embarrassed and humiliated. All through yesterday I tried to take my mind off the incident, but whenever I remember it, I get angry up till this moment I'm writing.
I wanted to go to him to register my anger and grievance, but two persons have told me to let go, but I'm still not feeling any better.
I brought this here because I know some matured and experienced believers are here. So I'll need your candid advice. No insults please. Thanks and God bless as you help a brother.

Your pastor is doing it out of love and concern for you. However, he forgets the psychological effect it could have on you.

Frankly, the reason why you're feeling embarrassed is because you are not troubled by the situation. You have strong faith that God would do it in His time. Had it been you're in a state of desperation, honestly, you would really appreciate what your pastor is doing. A United prayer of the saints concerning a given matter always expedite answers. If the church prays unitedly concerning a matter continuously, it would be done. I'm afraid your attitude could hinder your prayers. While you were being prayed for, you are embittered. Meanwhile, the angels are watching. God is seeing all these.

It's one thing to trust in God. It's another thing to be humble. Who are you that the church of God cannot pray for you? The body of Christ is bigger than any saint. You seem to disregard those prayers in preference for some personal dignity. Don't despise the corporate anointing if you really want God to have respect to your prayers. Don't get angry at a man whose intense desire is to see you carrying your baby in your arms. Please be humble and let the church pray for you, except it is being done in deception to mock your condition.

FxMasterz:
Your pastor is doing it out of love and concern for you. However, he forgets the psychological effect it could have on you.

Frankly, the reason why you're feeling embarrassed is because you are not troubled by the situation. You have strong faith that God would do it in His time. Had it been you're in a state of desperation, honestly, you would really appreciate what your pastor is doing. A United prayer of the saints concerning a given matter always expedite answers. If the church prays unitedly concerning a matter continuously, it would be done. I'm afraid your attitude could hinder your prayers. While you were being prayed for, you are embittered. Meanwhile, the angels are watching. God is seeing all these.

It's one thing to trust in God. It's another thing to be humble. Who are you that the church of God cannot pray for you? The body of Christ is bigger than any saint. You seem to disregard those prayers in preference for some personal dignity. Don't despise the corporate anointing if you really want God to have respect to your prayers. Don't get angry at a man whose intense desire is to see you carrying your baby in your arms. Please be humble and let the church pray for you, except it is being done in deception to mock your condition.

OP, this here is how they continue to deceive and delude you into believing that God has some hand in what you are going through when there is absolutely nothing in it all to do with Him.

Again, what you described here is no different from what many of those who don't hide behind religion experience in their workplace as well and it is called bullying/harassment. It is even made worse by the fact that your boss does it using God as his weapon against you, and even goes as far as to recruit his wife and the congregation against your wife and marriage.

What you are in is nothing but a toxic environment for both you, your wife and your marriage.

Loadedgrace:
Thanks bro. Ya, I've been keeping my cool for some time now, and have discussed it with some persons before now,but they keep telling me to calm down eventhough they are also members of the same church and see what I'm talking about. I've already penned down my resignation letter, I was thinking I should hold on and share it with a lager house like this. I would've gone to talk it with him, but I have this impression about him twisting private discussions to suit his narrative.

My advice is that you should talk with him and tell him how you feel whenever he does that, how its becoming too much and offensive to you. Don't just resign and leave. Tell him that, if he continues, tell him again, and if he still persists then drop your resignation letter.

Hello Sir.
Kill that spirit of pride. That's the only way you can get God's help.
Your Pastor is being concerned if not he won't be doing what he is doing.
The only prayer you should pray to get a miracle is to ask God to break and remould you and your wife for His use.