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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How Do I Forgive Him? (65876 Views)
My Sister Has Been Finding It Difficult To Forgive Our Aunt. / Should I Forgive Her? / Why Nigerian Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Woman (2) (3) (4)
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Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Zeinymira(f): 10:48pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
I think OP felt betrayed by her husband and rightfully so. That man was dishonest, stole from her and connived with someone to do that. And he wasn't remorseful from his statement. This kind of attitude makes marriage difficult |
Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Emaprince: 10:48pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
A wife wanting to buy a land for herself alone tells the whole story about the kind of person you are. You never really saw anything in that union. You probably hoped in nearby future, you will go your separate way with the properties you acquired in your name. Your husband sef is probably dependent on you..if not which kind man will accept that and not read meaning in it. What he did is what almost all women do to their husbands all day. We have housewives with huge savings from the money they made off their hubbies. And those are. not pocket Money, but money made buy inflating prices of things they were asked to buy for the homes. No noise is being made when a woman does it. But once any little money contribution from a woman..trumpets will be blown. Why is he even begging? Are you also the one that feeds him? This story must be fake 9 Likes |
Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by NaijaRoyalty(m): 10:48pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
Which kind woman be dis ? Any woman that hardly forgives is a devil The man fuckup sef to beg you , for what ? Nonsense 1 Like |
Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Romanoff(f): 10:49pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
Tradepunter2: Mr forgiveness, did I tell her to leave her marriage? Did I not say that they can seek counselling and work things out? Some of you are so bitter, your bitterness has a foul odour that fills the air wherever you go and with every comment you make. May God give you joy o, brother, you obviously need it. 2 Likes |
Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Successfulben: 10:49pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
Must you spiritualize everything? You be mumu aswear. Righteousness2: |
Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Cheasystickylov: 10:49pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
You may feel so right today, (and rightly so), but I am very sure that when you look back after 5 years , you will realise that you were so immature. *MOST THINGS IN MARRIAGE IS NOT ABOUT RIGHT OR WRONG , BUT ABOUT WHAT IS REASONABLE*. You can trust me on this 6 Likes |
Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by fabbby(m): 10:50pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
Well, for me I would want you to access yourself properly. What do you like in that man that made you marry him in the first place? Considering your aspirations and wonderful picture you painted of ur home,how much are u willing to sacrifice for it? Do u love your money so much that when someone you trusted misappropriated it, u feel so hurt more than u can easily forgive? Other things will still happen as far as marriage is concerned, are u going to keep inviting family members to settle una matter? My contribution is that you should know that marriage is majorly BTW 2 mature individuals, certain things can be discussed effectively before seeking external counsel. If u ever feel like forgiving him, then learn how to do that often because even if u marry another person, we (men) go still dey Bleep up sometimes |
Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by grandstar(m): 10:51pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
Registeredguest You have a right to be angry. Trust issues can ruin a marriage, any relationship. The first red flag was that you have a starry eyed view of marriage. All wish it could be as rosy as you assumed till you got this rude awakening. Welcome to marraige- it's for better for worse no be joke. The only scriptural excuse for divorce and remarriage is adultery. If your spouse did not commit adultery and you remarry, you'd be sinning against God. He intended marriage to last a lifetime. Pls get this fairytale view of marriage out of your head. How do you know the next man may be worse? What if your present husband has learnt his lesson, marries and the marriage is successful, how would you feel? I would advise you to go back to your husband. If you're still bitter, be bitter in your husbands place. Your anger would eventually cool down. You can forgive him but not trust him. It's also naive of you to buy a property at that age for yourself so early in the marriage. You should first have gotten his permission to go ahead. It's an extremely touchy issue, as most men are usually intimidated when their wives are wealthy than them. . Some men feel humiliated when such happens and that's probably one reason he did what he did. Most women normally do this quietly but could cause a rumpus when the husband finds out. I don't believe in divorce but the choice is left entirely to you. It's a decision that also affects your relationship with your heavenly father. I feel your youth and immaturity are the real problems here and not necessarily your husband actions. Were you older, you'd have handled issues much better. . 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by vivavik(f): 10:52pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
Registeredguest: Think about it, just this one mistake he made, how can you not forgive him? He has been good to you all this while, so why not forgive him? Go to God in prayers, ask the Holy spirit to help you out, remember, if you don't forgive him, God won't forgive you, that's the rule. Get two pieces of papers, write down the wrongs and rights he's done to you, this will inform your forgiveness. Besides, you both are "one" Do not let anyone talk you into regret. Besides, the man is remorseful naaaaa... do not harden your heart before you lose a good man o 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Zonefree(m): 10:52pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
MoneyMustBMade:A very stupid woman! She gave the husband 10k, 50k for building project and she's making noise..money for just 10 bags of cement. Same woman is living in a house built by the husband without paying rent oo. Lol I pray the husband comes to his senses and discard her as soon as possible. No good thing will ever come from a woman like her. Nonsense! 8 Likes |
Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by johnfem321: 10:52pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
If your marriage is for better for worse.. why wouldn’t you want to buy a land together with your husband anyway..it’s your husband not a boyfriend.. the land will obviously be in both of your name so what’s the fuss about.. you should have let the matter go after the family meeting…. If that the only thing your husband did it not worth divorcing over.. imagine you meet someone new and he ask you what lead to your divorce.. you will say your husband took your 200k… ? I would have said you are still young, divorce and move on but how easy will it be for a divorced single mum with two kids to find some amazing perfect young man to marry.. it’s will only lead to unnecessary complication for you and the kids.. it’s a risk to go back to him ( what if he keep scamming you till you grow old) .. it’s another risk to not to go back ( what if you meet ap perfect angel to marry again or what if the next guy is a womaniser + scam+ woman beater) well you wouldn’t know the answer until you choose your risk.. |
Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by ETIIKO: 10:52pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
Your husband is a good man go back to him. You really need to work on yourself, emotions, attitude and thought. No body is perfect. You are exposing your children to what you will not be able to explain to them, when they will start asking you a rhetorical question between you and their father. |
Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by gaby(m): 10:52pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
redseason: This was why most of us got on Nairaland since 2006 to learn and unlearn from one another in mature, real-life, and true stories like these. But what do we have these days? Kids running amok, attacking, and insulting themselves to no end and I begin to ask myself "where is Seun"? God bless you, sir, for this extra angle you brought into this matter. 4 Likes |
Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by ebbo(m): 10:52pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
Na wicked wife u be, u ve been eating his money since courtship days,only God knows how much. Just because of ordinary 200k u want to destroy ur home. Devil don rent place for ur heart. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Uchattama: 10:53pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
I bite you, Is better you go back to your home and reconcile with your husband, after you deliver a baby the next thing is to looking for a man that will be fucking you , 1 Like |
Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by jey4all(m): 10:53pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
Dalidal:reasonable comment. Both of them are living separately. My wife’s land is mine. My house is my wife’s house too. Why buy a separate land. Learn how to buy things together. 2 shall become 1. Both of you need counseling 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Nobody: 10:53pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
I am just happy that she never mentioned she caught another woman in their matrimonial bed.The husband may even be faithful to her.If na another man he for don carry woman put for house.Konji na Yeye. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by seanwilliam(m): 10:54pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
advanceDNA:I got mad reading the rubbish she posted honestly, women do this time to time to men. I remember a day I asked my girl then to get something for me , she called me at the seller place and she said it’s so so amount. I paid and later on I discovered she over inflated the figure , I felt bad , but I just let it slide, I considered the stress of going to market myself and bringing it home . I later found out she used the money to buy palm. I just fake anger and she apologized and I let it slide. E get something person gaz Dey let go in relationship with people you love .. Edit: the same girl was able to gather 80% of her house rent from inflating prices of things for me. She confessed to me. I faked anger but deep inside me I was wowed about her saving culture .. In the OP’s case,I can bet it that the man spent part of the money for the house upkeep o Women no Dey joke with their own money ! I’m not commending what the man did, ( the man did what’s bad ) but this should not lead to break up for a sensible lady now! Can she tell me she’s not benefited more than that from him. There are plenty ways to register displeasure . The man is even a foôl to me, regardless of our differences , if a woman packs out of my house by herself, I WILL NEVER TAKE HER BACK. 7 Likes |
Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by realestate99: 10:54pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
redseason:This is an understatement, o.p comes across like a juvenile lady obsessed with marriage but not ready for the rigours in anyway, that marriage is already gone, it is not a curse!! Trust has been broken from both sides but O.p's action was just too exaggerated, like using an excavator to kill a tiny snake. One of the greatest Shame to a man is for his wife to pack out of his house voluntarily, it is like stripping him naked, even when things settle and she returns, he can never see her the same again in this life, he can only pretend. 6 Likes |
Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Streetmovement(m): 10:54pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
Wotoporiously ![]() It's funny how the things that can put an end to a marriage are very simple, straight forward and easy in nature, meanwhile the preparations prior to the union are much complexs and hard in nature. It's like the system was design to fail. My answer is do whatever you wanna do 1 Like |
Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by jubrilELsudan: 10:55pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
ABEG COME AND MARRY ME LEMME TREAT YOU LIKE THE QUEEN YOU ARE SINGLE MATURED VERY HANDSOME MAN LIKE ME IS LOOKING FOR CORRECT WIFE LIKE YOU THEN ONE IMMATURE FVCK BOY WILL HAVE YOU AS A WIFE THEN TREAT YOU LIKE SUCKAWEY SHIT MAY SPECIAL THUNDER FIRE THAT YOUR STUPID IMMATURE GOOD FOR NOTHING DEAD BEAT HUSBAND TO BROKE HIM HEAD JUST DEY HUNGRY ME
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Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Starhearts: 10:55pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
Ur wickedness no get part 2 ![]() Wetin dey sweet ur belle ![]() Get out here.... U need mental health therapy 2 Likes |
Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by ojun50(m): 10:55pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
Even singles wey never experience courtship go advice you. Woman work on your attitude, to me you think full of your self because you can make money and all that. it all started when he told me he has seen a genuine plot of land that "we" should buy it together,I told him no,I want the land all by myself I have money to pay for it Your husband said we, but you said only you. Abeg you be bad wife 8 Likes |
Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by seunak2016: 10:55pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
Registeredguest:did your husband ever ask you to borrow him money but you declined whereas you get the money ? if yes then try forgive him ,maybe he use the 200k to sort reasonable thing out but if you normally borrow him money and he returned it but chose to play fastrack on you then he deserves what he get. he should have ask you nicely to borrow him money and will return it back to you with interest |
Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Prechgold1180(m): 10:56pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
Registeredguest: Op sorry to say You are senseless Nah small pikin Dey worry u Looking for issues wer Dey is non No love in your marriage 2 Likes |
Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by emorse(m): 10:56pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
advanceDNA:Do you get this angry when she does? ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by grandstar(m): 10:56pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
Rozross: 22yrs is too early to marry She has a fairytale view of marriage and got a rude shock. Were she older, I doubt she'd inform her husband about her plans to buy land alone. Nigerian men are usually uneasy when this happens. We don't know tomorrow. What if the babiy is born deformed, perhaps has multiple sclerosis- that is when she would look for her husband assistance. Never marry too early. 1 Like |
Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by ukaface(f): 10:57pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
Na you no wan stay for marriage You're too quick to make decisions,and quarrel dey your body Does it mean you can't dash your husband 200k? Money wey you go dey use style dey collect from him, only that when it comes to issue of trust you go dey think twice. This life no dey trust man, maybe you never watch anikulapo. NO DEY TRYST MAN. Even after you go back to your home,NO TRUST MAN. Left to me o, if you been wan buy the land, you for no tell am sef.But you for ask am wetin the 200k be for. See ehn,your happiness lies in your palm. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by seanwilliam(m): 10:57pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
redseason:I too love you for this comment. I’m following you asap! |
Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by laseni: 10:58pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
Ask yourself if he is worth living with. Is he generous to you when he has money. Does he care about you and his children. If the situation was the other way; what would be your reaction and how will you expect to be treated. I feel both of you should work around your egos and settle it amicably. Marriage is a union of 2 imperfect beings; learn to forgive ( over and over again) 1 Like |
Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Originalsly: 10:58pm On Oct 24, 2022 |
You have to put the children before yourself ... ask yourself... what is best for them? You have lost trust in him and trust is the foundation of a relationship. What happens to a house when the foundation is weakened? Not saying that trust can't be regained ... it can... but will take a lot of commitment and effort by your husband and a willingness by you to forgive but this will not happen overnight.... it takes a whole lot of time to heal this kind wound. For the children's sake... you need to get back together. I think it should be at your place ... where you will have the upper hand. At his place .. he will submit himself until you settle then he would go back to his old ways. In getting back together ... you will have to be on top of everything. If he can get together with an outsider to scam his wife ... is not anything he will not do for money. Get back together ... at your place... keep him on a tight leash... if he can't handle it... free him. |
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