| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by HardMirror(m): 2:08am On Oct 25, 2022 |
iamwhat:
This is by far the best answer I've read in a long time
Firstly, your husband messed up big time.
However, you've destroyed your home forever due to ego and lack of patience.
I am 100% sure your husband will live 20yrs longer if you guys don't get back together but if he naively take you back, he'll die before his time.
You're a big time trouble maker. You're considering to go back to him not because you've forgiven him or love him because of a your children... in other words, you're going back just to use him as a father placeholder for your children.
The man has used everything to beg you even his father came from the village but it's not enough punishment just because you want to flex your muscle of being the richer one between you two.
All I can sense is a selfish and egotistic woman, I pray your children shouldn't take after you, if not that man will live the remaining of his live being miserable.
I pray you don't go back to him and God gives him a better woman to help him live longer. while i agree with everything you said. POINT OF CORRECTION. Who told you she is richer than the guy? A man capable of building a house? Is it her 20k contibution that the man used to build a whole house? The man could just have small set back and needed support for them to secure the new land and that is where she thought she was alakija. How much is she worth? In todays nigeria what is 600k? Why could she not work with her husband to get the land. I support the husband 100 percent he deserves that 200k. Afterall he was the one that saw the land and verified how authentic it was. Then she wants to steal it from him just like that. The man only used the 200k to settle his effort since the wife was selfish 3 Likes |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by HardMirror(m): 2:09am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Rexymania:
Read again how is she the bread winner. Na that kind useless money dem dey carry maintain family? |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by gozy121: 2:12am On Oct 25, 2022 |
I will like to believe this story was fabricated, but if it was real then I have to tell you that you a very stup*d woman and not only that you are stone cold wicked. You want to buy property in your name but where you live and the house he’s building belongs to both of you. This is why I keep telling guys, never u marry a woman from a poor family! Just because of 200k you don pack out , which sensible woman will do that? I believe it’s your poor family that told you to buy that land in your name and now they are encouraging you not to go back to your matrimonial home. Your husband is a good man, he is very unlucky to end up with a wicked soul like you. 8 Likes |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by HardMirror(m): 2:13am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Dainy1:
Thank you. The way some people give advice in this forum is terrible. How can your partner defraud you and expect you to over look?
Imageing my wife doing such with me, nau to divorce her straight up see advicers. You will divorce your wife cos of 200k. Hehehehe 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Funflipper: 2:15am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Romanoff:
She is not toxic. Her concerns are valid and no two human is the same.
Just cause it will be easy for you to forgive such dishonesty doesn't mean it will be easy for her.
With a husband that can scam you like that, who needs an enemy? A wife that has always supported you and is equally hardworking. What is in common 200k that he still had to scam her for?
They sha both need counselling to get past this, it won't be easy but it's doable.
That trust has been broken already so after this, going forward, please, have your own savings as you contribute to the home and family projects and keep receipts.
Next land or property you'll buy, inform him about it, carry him along but source for your own agent yourself to avoid situations like this.
The trust can't be the same again sha, but na to dey manage the situation and to avoid such in the future. She is toxic and slimy as hell. First of all, she wanted the land all for herself like wtf happened to marriage where husband and wife are joined together as one? Secondly, she went about digging into his phone. What was she looking for? 4 Likes |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by HardMirror(m): 2:16am On Oct 25, 2022 |
gozy121:
I will like to believe this story was fabricated, but if it was real then I have to tell you that you a very stup*d woman and not only that you are stone cold wicked. You want to buy property in your name but where you live and the house he’s building belongs to both of you. This is why I keep telling guys, never u marry a woman from a poor family! Just because of 200k you don pack out , which sensible woman will do that? I believe it’s your poor family that told you to buy that land in your name and now they are encouraging you not to go back to your matrimonial home. Your husband is a good man, he is very unlucky to end up with a wicked soul like you. honestly it is poverty that is worrying her. Her father supports her because she is the only member of their family yhat has chicken change. If not for poverty why would she make an issue out of this. If my wife did this to me i will be angree but that is all. 1 Like |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by gozy121: 2:20am On Oct 25, 2022 |
HardMirror:
honestly it is poverty that is worrying her. Her father supports her because she is the only member of their family yhat has chicken change. If not for poverty why would she make an issue out of this. If my wife did this to me i will be angree but that is all. Serious poverty my brother. Money that some girls will use to one hair.. that’s what made you to pack out of your husband’s house. Nonsense 1 Like |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Constablepatr: 2:22am On Oct 25, 2022 |
She no serious
When she want serious
Guy no want serious again
Because of 200k
I repeat she no serious 1 Like |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Micval: 2:24am On Oct 25, 2022 |
So because your husband job you 200k, you come d write this long epistle, wife's d job thier husband's on daily and we never ask una to park out, that's why I never wan marry all these small small girls,they are full of drama 1 Like |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by dontrulee: 2:24am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Nawa oooo.
Just because of 200k. Sorry to say but your actions look very immature to me Sha. I understand that you're hurt and all, but mhen you went quite far. Unfortunately, it's normal for couples to have numerous quarrels what matters is the maturity to settle them. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Ugomajority: 2:27am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Money has entered ur head. Seems u have more money than ur husband. Be submissive to him. It's biblical. He said no, we will buy d LAND together but u refused. That alone is where u got wrong. If u can't mellow down then marry ur money not a man. Who knows wht he has being suffering in ur hands. I quess he is relieved instead of regreating ụ packed. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by TrittNG: 2:27am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Persephone1:
Where was it stated that the man 'collide' with an outsider? I've read all manner of words to qualify this man's action on this thread, one typed he "scammed" the wife and I wonder if you all will use these words if the case was reversed. He withheld the money, true but that doesn't serve as scam or "colliding" when it comes to couples living together. Biko, let's learn not to treat partners as strangers because of their flaws or single errors especially when they are of opposite gender. Women do these things too but you don't see their husbands calling them all sorts of names.
Na person wey bring her issue here I blame. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by HardMirror(m): 2:29am On Oct 25, 2022 |
vivavik:
Think about it, just this one mistake he made, how can you not forgive him?
He has been good to you all this while, so why not forgive him?
Go to God in prayers, ask the Holy spirit to help you out, remember, if you don't forgive him, God won't forgive you, that's the rule.
Get two pieces of papers, write down the wrongs and rights he's done to you, this will inform your forgiveness. Besides, you both are "one"
Do not let anyone talk you into regret. Besides, the man is remorseful naaaaa... do not harden your heart before you lose a good man o will u marry me? |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by TrittNG: 2:29am On Oct 25, 2022 |
4ward4:
if this story is true ,your unforgiven nature Is Second to none and I won't wish anyone I know having you. Now you know the man you got married to , we get to discover new things in our partners immediately we get married and this is one of them .
If the table was turned , men overlook it just for peace to reign and reason because they have no place to run to and with time the family goes back to normal. Alot of men have been duped by the wife and her family's, and heaven never fell nor did he chase her out.
Got a car and within a week madam wrecked it, that hurts also, but as a man we know money shouldn't control a relationship, we were grateful for life and move on. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Nauttyprof(m): 2:34am On Oct 25, 2022 |
I don't want to type much on this. This lady has a big problem which led to her home being distroyed.
Go live with the picture in your head. Many homes are broken today because of a competitive wife who feels she wants to do better than her husband and not helping her husband grow while she grows. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Favouriteguy: 2:34am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Registeredguest:
I'm a lady in my mid- twenties, I got married aged 22, (always wanted to marry early) on the second year of our marriage we were blessed with a baby, parked to our house and things were rosy. I have always been a workaholic due to that I have never lack as a young lady in terms of finance.
I have always helped him in his house projects, might not be much 100k, 50k, 20k when need be. I never siphoned my money to myself, as a young lady I envisioned my pretty little family on my head, (3 children, handsome husband and pretty wife with a fine car living happily)
Now to the main problem,I think it all started when he told me he has seen a genuine plot of land that we should buy it together, I told him no, I want the land all by myself I have money to pay for it, (just want to have something tangible for myself alone) he said no problem.He sent me an account number of the seller I sent 600k to the seller.we did the necessary documents and everyone was happy.
After some weeks, I decided to dig around his phone then I discovered that the account I sent the 600k to, refunded 200k back to my husband, woke him up instantly I demanded for an explanation.he story no make sense. I was heartbroken, for months I was hurt...the two families got involved and settled the issue.money I no see...
Ever since this issue happened,the home has not been peaceful, fighting everyday. I find it so difficult to forgive him. I insult him, he insults me, he broke my phone, I break his door...I was demanded for an apology he says
"I'm his wife, no be today man dey collect him wife money, he say woman go build house for him husband no ear no go hear" those things hurt me more... everyday was fight, I parked out,I went to my sister's place,he didn't call, he didn't reach out.
3 weeks after I parked I discovered I was pregnant,and informed him immediately through text.i stayed at my sister's place for 2 months no word from him... I decide to rent my own place,I rented a place and went to his house to park my remaining stuff,I meet him home,as soon as he sees I came with a truck to park my things he knelt down and started begging me...I was like,na today I commot for your house why now? He say he think say I dey play, he no think say I serious like this,for good two months you didn't say anything why now...with enough dragging I parked my things to my new rented apartment... since the day I park till now this man has not allowed me rest,his family members has been calling me to come back home, his dad came from the village to plead on his behalf.
My dad is insisting I should not go back...I'm now 6 months pregnant ,I need a father in my children's life.im finding it difficult to forgive him,I'm struggling within myself to forgive and trust this man again.
How can I let go of the past and move back with him...I decided to pay him a visit on Friday,he was happy I came,he did everything possible to show me he has changed but that feeling of betrayal and hurt is there.i left there this morning with querrell,I know I started the querrell,but I can't just seem to forgive him.please I need your help and advice on this pressing issue of mine.
No insult please, I have cried enough. I won't insult anyone but my question is simple. In future will u be proud to say as a workaholic who made so much money BUT lost your home for 200k Some things dey way no go let person talk on the last day sha. You lost your home and obviously you ain't happy ryt now. Lemme say something, when there is an issue, do your best to fix it, own it and never trust another person to do the right thing because u will end up not doing the right thing as u just did now. FORGIVE him and also FORGIVE YOURSELF later because u will soon be angry with yourself why you left. Don't ever let money determine your mental health and remember the RICH also CRIES. Go back to your HUSBAND not because your baby need a father but becos you need each other. Accept his apology and also apologize to him (that is maturity) Stay loved and stay Blessed. You guys have a long way to go so sail nicely because there are more sharks in that ocean. Apply wisdom always. Remember ALWAYS FIX AN ISSUE AND NEVER WAIT FOR SM1 ELSE TO FIX EVEN IF THEY ARE AT FAULT. You need your self all sane, don't threaten your mental health. CIAO |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by chukwudiology(m): 2:34am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Na who dey catch be thief.
*After some weeks, I decided to dig around his phone then I discovered that the account I sent the 600k to, refunded 200k back to my husband*
Have you been suspecting him or you don't trust him?
Na wetin person fit do, him dey think for others. I didn't say you have done such thing to him ooo. But u cannot trust anybody when it comes to money. Many husbands and wives are facing issues like this or even more, but they are still living together in peace.
Well if you think you are a perfect wife and you haven't done anything wrong to him since he married you, then don't forgive. But remember your children needs their father. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Minatouchiha(m): 2:36am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Registeredguest:
I'm a lady in my mid- twenties, I got married aged 22, (always wanted to marry early) on the second year of our marriage we were blessed with a baby, parked to our house and things were rosy. I have always been a workaholic due to that I have never lack as a young lady in terms of finance.
I have always helped him in his house projects, might not be much 100k, 50k, 20k when need be. I never siphoned my money to myself, as a young lady I envisioned my pretty little family on my head, (3 children, handsome husband and pretty wife with a fine car living happily)
Now to the main problem,I think it all started when he told me he has seen a genuine plot of land that we should buy it together, I told him no, I want the land all by myself I have money to pay for it, (just want to have something tangible for myself alone) he said no problem.He sent me an account number of the seller I sent 600k to the seller.we did the necessary documents and everyone was happy.
After some weeks, I decided to dig around his phone then I discovered that the account I sent the 600k to, refunded 200k back to my husband, woke him up instantly I demanded for an explanation.he story no make sense. I was heartbroken, for months I was hurt...the two families got involved and settled the issue.money I no see...
Ever since this issue happened,the home has not been peaceful, fighting everyday. I find it so difficult to forgive him. I insult him, he insults me, he broke my phone, I break his door...I was demanded for an apology he says
"I'm his wife, no be today man dey collect him wife money, he say woman go build house for him husband no ear no go hear" those things hurt me more... everyday was fight, I parked out,I went to my sister's place,he didn't call, he didn't reach out.
3 weeks after I parked I discovered I was pregnant,and informed him immediately through text.i stayed at my sister's place for 2 months no word from him... I decide to rent my own place,I rented a place and went to his house to park my remaining stuff,I meet him home,as soon as he sees I came with a truck to park my things he knelt down and started begging me...I was like,na today I commot for your house why now? He say he think say I dey play, he no think say I serious like this,for good two months you didn't say anything why now...with enough dragging I parked my things to my new rented apartment... since the day I park till now this man has not allowed me rest,his family members has been calling me to come back home, his dad came from the village to plead on his behalf.
My dad is insisting I should not go back...I'm now 6 months pregnant ,I need a father in my children's life.im finding it difficult to forgive him,I'm struggling within myself to forgive and trust this man again.
How can I let go of the past and move back with him...I decided to pay him a visit on Friday,he was happy I came,he did everything possible to show me he has changed but that feeling of betrayal and hurt is there.i left there this morning with querrell,I know I started the querrell,but I can't just seem to forgive him.please I need your help and advice on this pressing issue of mine.
No insult please, I have cried enough. Here is the truth. Believing all you have said is also the truth. That man, is still going to make you cry some more. It doesn't mean you shouldn't forgive him and go back. But if you do think in that direction. Be prepared to get a second dose of what's happened. And maybe a bigger one. If you are talking father figure and he's the person you are looking at, aunty you have missed it o! 2hat does he want to teach the kids? That people shouldn't trust them with money ba? It is well with you. Is summary, you are not in a genuine marriage. Your's has a clause built around money. As with many others I've seen. As with plenty others. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by nuelasekhamen: 2:43am On Oct 25, 2022 |
You were not submissive but a wife. You started it by giving him the attitude to have your own when the family your immediate family don't have one. You can get yours, if you guys have put one in place together no issue. That way he will not even see your mo ey has our money. You just have to make the uturn the same way it all started. From the look of things the love is there, but you just can't find common ground but of what happened. A man has an ego but 5secs of emotions throw us off balance. Forgive and also you have to apologize for that step u choose. Always put your family first not mind who is doing it first or sponsoring, if you guys leave outside Nigeria your behavior will adjust because you now believe the system cannot work like you're saying it now. Except he's not bring anything to the table and you keep having babies for him. Where is the huge/feelings coming from?  |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by RichAbujaGuy: 2:43am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Sounds like anoda classic NL fiction story to me. Some ppl are always practicing writing Nollywood scripts on this app. But if true, kudos to the sharp posters that viewed op as a selfish, non-teamwork bleep.  |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Kivaro(m): 2:44am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Hello, Lady I packed out.
Sure, you should be upset and that is the reward. However, has it ever occurred to you that you are placing material possession and foolish pride over your marriage and happiness? Papa says do not go back. Will Papa replace your husband? Will Papa be father to the kids? So, he made a profit from dealing in the land sale and all hell will break lose? It will be quarrel or nagging over and over again, instead of you to mold your husband the way you want him. Answer this question: how many Nigerians you know are not fraudulent? Haven't you heard that girls nowadays recommend other girls or sisters or cousins to men and then charge them 30-40% of the money the men pay them? Haven't you heard that people overseas send money to their parents, uncles, or brothers/sisters to build house for them and the money is spent outright, or the house is built but not for the person who sent the money? Haven't heard that people now equate LOVE with how much money you can give to them?
Haven't you heard about the saying that you should treat your husband as your first son? What does a mother do? she molds her children to whom she wants them to become. Go ahead and be forming holier than Thou, and you will end up with no husband or many husbands over the course of your life. Worse yet, there is just another heartbreak around the corner if you think there is greener grass somewhere. My suggestion is for you to mold your husband the way you want him. To save face, get your husband to go and appease your parents. Let them scold him a little and then pack your bags and baggage back to your matrimonial home. Indeed, you have so far earned your reward. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by TrittNG: 2:45am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Revolution2022:
If woman use her money buy Maggi cook soup the whole neighbourhood go hear.If na she chop her husband 200k nobody go hear am.No be say the husband dupe her.Na the husband be middleman and he got his cut from the deal. 1 Like |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by occfx: 2:46am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Rozross:
You readily forgive those you love without a doubting spirit. You are kind of toxic, even me that like trouble dont know how to keep grudges, before the next day as e long reach, i've forgotten that we even had issues. Marriage isnt relationship, learn to accept your partner's flaws and weaknesses and forgive them each time their weaknesses is taking it's toll on them. This one isn't even a big issue sef, its you who has been complicating things. He's sorry and begging you for forgiveness and you still dont want to forgive him, what else do you want? His head? Abeg work on your unforgiven spirit. Most women who chases money like a man has that attitude. If I was the hubby na to dey lick her ass and get whatever I want though if you are man enough, you steer clear of women drama. They can take you back 10yrs if you are no careful. The woman looks toxic, I like my peace of mind abeg |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by TrittNG: 2:46am On Oct 25, 2022 |
shalomm:
What your husband did was wrong (judging by your own side of the story). However, you are a completely bad wife. First, he wanted both of you to buy the land but "Madam" you want it completely in your name so as to spite him. Secondly, you are a toxic person, I believe you normally sing it to his ears how you give him 10k 20k 50k to support his projects.
Keep looking for validation, you are in the right place. Your fellow toxic "men are scum" crew are here to further ruin your marriage.
I'll run away from that type of woman. 1 Like |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by TrittNG: 2:48am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Gloriagee:
Where una dey see 600k abi na 400k land?
Me sef I want to know  1 Like |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Favouriteguy: 2:48am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Minatouchiha:
Here is the truth. Believing all you have said is also the truth. That man, is still going to make you cry some more. It doesn't mean you shouldn't forgive him and go back. But if you do think in that direction. Be prepared to get a second dose of what's happened. And maybe a bigger one. If you are talking father figure and he's the person you are looking at, aunty you have missed it o! 2hat does he want to teach the kids? That people shouldn't trust them with money ba? It is well with you. Is summary, you are not in a genuine marriage. Your's has a clause built around money. As with many others I've seen. As with plenty others. Be the first to cast a stone if u have no sin Dear Sir/Madam, I write you this believing you are a married person. Anyways, if you aren't married yet u must have dated, if u haven't cheated, u have been cheated. Show me that perfect human being nd I will show you God. You didn't draw your lessons from the points below or probably u missed it; He got a land and asked his loving wife to join him, she refused (lack of collaboration) instead she wants to own it The lady went thru his phone (Lack of Trust) obviously not the first time because she couldn't be too right to have gone straight to text or alert unless there is smthn she was searching for. A rich lady left her home for 200k, obviously because she could afford to pay her rent. I am not supporting the man but this lady needs help hence telling her she is not in a genuine marriage with fingers pointed to the man not here to defend himself is actually not d best approach. Remember, this is her story, there are two other sides left to hear. Her husband and the truth. RESPECT � |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Etiyeokwe: 2:51am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Your father is not a good father. Why should he tell you not to go back to your husband?
Na the small money wey you get dey intoxicate you. Don't worry, do not go back to your husband. In three years time come back and tell us how e be.
Thank God I did not marry a woman like you. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by seanery: 2:55am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Shey hin cheat on u with amother womn?? Womn, no use ur hand spoil ur home. Go back to him. Dont b too hasty to leave his house. Ur mother no teach u like that. Registeredguest:
I'm a lady in my mid- twenties, I got married aged 22, (always wanted to marry early) on the second year of our marriage we were blessed with a baby, parked to our house and things were rosy. I have always been a workaholic due to that I have never lack as a young lady in terms of finance.
I have always helped him in his house projects, might not be much 100k, 50k, 20k when need be. I never siphoned my money to myself, as a young lady I envisioned my pretty little family on my head, (3 children, handsome husband and pretty wife with a fine car living happily)
Now to the main problem,I think it all started when he told me he has seen a genuine plot of land that we should buy it together, I told him no, I want the land all by myself I have money to pay for it, (just want to have something tangible for myself alone) he said no problem.He sent me an account number of the seller I sent 600k to the seller.we did the necessary documents and everyone was happy.
After some weeks, I decided to dig around his phone then I discovered that the account I sent the 600k to, refunded 200k back to my husband, woke him up instantly I demanded for an explanation.he story no make sense. I was heartbroken, for months I was hurt...the two families got involved and settled the issue.money I no see...
Ever since this issue happened,the home has not been peaceful, fighting everyday. I find it so difficult to forgive him. I insult him, he insults me, he broke my phone, I break his door...I was demanded for an apology he says
"I'm his wife, no be today man dey collect him wife money, he say woman go build house for him husband no ear no go hear" those things hurt me more... everyday was fight, I parked out,I went to my sister's place,he didn't call, he didn't reach out.
3 weeks after I parked I discovered I was pregnant,and informed him immediately through text.i stayed at my sister's place for 2 months no word from him... I decide to rent my own place,I rented a place and went to his house to park my remaining stuff,I meet him home,as soon as he sees I came with a truck to park my things he knelt down and started begging me...I was like,na today I commot for your house why now? He say he think say I dey play, he no think say I serious like this,for good two months you didn't say anything why now...with enough dragging I parked my things to my new rented apartment... since the day I park till now this man has not allowed me rest,his family members has been calling me to come back home, his dad came from the village to plead on his behalf.
My dad is insisting I should not go back...I'm now 6 months pregnant ,I need a father in my children's life.im finding it difficult to forgive him,I'm struggling within myself to forgive and trust this man again.
How can I let go of the past and move back with him...I decided to pay him a visit on Friday,he was happy I came,he did everything possible to show me he has changed but that feeling of betrayal and hurt is there.i left there this morning with querrell,I know I started the querrell,but I can't just seem to forgive him.please I need your help and advice on this pressing issue of mine.
No insult please, I have cried enough. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Alexk2(m): 2:56am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Rozross:
You readily forgive those you love without a doubting spirit. You are kind of toxic, even me that like trouble dont know how to keep grudges, before the next day as e long reach, i've forgotten that we even had issues. Marriage isnt relationship, learn to accept your partner's flaws and weaknesses and forgive them each time their weaknesses is taking it's toll on them. This one isn't even a big issue sef, its you who has been complicating things. He's sorry and begging you for forgiveness and you still dont want to forgive him, what else do you want? His head? Abeg work on your unforgiven spirit. If you don't listen to this hard truth, I sorry for you. Everybody advising you otherwise including your dad are very wrong. Pls note that you can never have peace yourself until you forgive him and move on. He's even considerate enough to still be begging you up tíll now. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by kevotek1000(m): 2:58am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Registeredguest:
I'm a lady in my mid- twenties, I got married aged 22, (always wanted to marry early) on the second year of our marriage we were blessed with a baby, parked to our house and things were rosy. I have always been a workaholic due to that I have never lack as a young lady in terms of finance.
I have always helped him in his house projects, might not be much 100k, 50k, 20k when need be. I never siphoned my money to myself, as a young lady I envisioned my pretty little family on my head, (3 children, handsome husband and pretty wife with a fine car living happily)
Now to the main problem,I think it all started when he told me he has seen a genuine plot of land that we should buy it together, I told him no, I want the land all by myself I have money to pay for it, (just want to have something tangible for myself alone) he said no problem.He sent me an account number of the seller I sent 600k to the seller.we did the necessary documents and everyone was happy.
After some weeks, I decided to dig around his phone then I discovered that the account I sent the 600k to, refunded 200k back to my husband, woke him up instantly I demanded for an explanation.he story no make sense. I was heartbroken, for months I was hurt...the two families got involved and settled the issue.money I no see...
Ever since this issue happened,the home has not been peaceful, fighting everyday. I find it so difficult to forgive him. I insult him, he insults me, he broke my phone, I break his door...I was demanded for an apology he says
"I'm his wife, no be today man dey collect him wife money, he say woman go build house for him husband no ear no go hear" those things hurt me more... everyday was fight, I parked out,I went to my sister's place,he didn't call, he didn't reach out.
3 weeks after I parked I discovered I was pregnant,and informed him immediately through text.i stayed at my sister's place for 2 months no word from him... I decide to rent my own place,I rented a place and went to his house to park my remaining stuff,I meet him home,as soon as he sees I came with a truck to park my things he knelt down and started begging me...I was like,na today I commot for your house why now? He say he think say I dey play, he no think say I serious like this,for good two months you didn't say anything why now...with enough dragging I parked my things to my new rented apartment... since the day I park till now this man has not allowed me rest,his family members has been calling me to come back home, his dad came from the village to plead on his behalf.
My dad is insisting I should not go back...I'm now 6 months pregnant ,I need a father in my children's life.im finding it difficult to forgive him,I'm struggling within myself to forgive and trust this man again.
How can I let go of the past and move back with him...I decided to pay him a visit on Friday,he was happy I came,he did everything possible to show me he has changed but that feeling of betrayal and hurt is there.i left there this morning with querrell,I know I started the querrell,but I can't just seem to forgive him.please I need your help and advice on this pressing issue of mine.
No insult please, I have cried enough. You're as guilty as your husband... As you refuse to forgive and let go, you seriously need to work on your spirit of forgiveness. Thank God he only stole from you, I wonder if had he cheated on with another woman what would have done, maybe kill him. Things like this is not suppose to escalate to the extent of you parking out of your matrimonial home. If your child steals from you, will you disown him, kill or sending parking from your house? I guess No. Women do steal from their husbands on countless base, men knows but we overlook. Go mend your home woman!! May the peace that once existed be restored in Jesus name. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Talk2tuns: 3:02am On Oct 25, 2022 |
Please ma, can I ask if he paid your bride price fully. If so then he's still your legal husband and so please forgive him, psalm 23 says forgive us as we forgive others this remember you it's a necessity to forgive others. Becareful of advice to become a single mother just because you can take care of yourself and them it's not enough Watch their advice and interest.
You may not have the clear picture of what you're doing now but the future will tell it's not a easy way of life to be single mother. Forgiveness is the key for victorious life. Thanks. |
| Re: How Do I Forgive Him? by Missionaire: 3:03am On Oct 25, 2022 |
redseason:
Most sensible comment!
Your husband’s sin is stealing from his wife. It’s shameful cos it’s like stealing from your own self! That aside;
You never saw yourself as part of his team. You wanted to conceal your selfishness, but the self in you still could not be totally masked. You could glorify the occasional 100k, 50k, 20k you put in the house project. Mama, you are not the first! And fyi, in terms of ratio, your contribution will most definitely amount to less than 5% of entire project cost. A modest 3 bedroom house will gulf at least 15m.
So many missing dots; is the family house solely in his name or your both names, because I now wonder the rationale you wanted something solely on your name alone? Has this husband been a provider or a deadbeat? Who bought your car? Have you ever misappropriated funds he gave to you? Got married at 22, did you move into his house with money or he set you up? |
