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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. (2095 Views)
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Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Mindlog: 6:49pm On Nov 07, 2022 |
Kobojunkie: From what the mother has shared so far, the slow down in his academics is just only a reflection of some unresolved deeper issues going on in his mind and him seeing a clinical psychologist for Psychological Assessment would really help him and his mother, most of the assessment will be paper based tests then talk therapy. 4 Likes |
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Focusmind: 7:33pm On Nov 07, 2022 |
ImaIma1: Noted. But I will never agree to my 4 year old child being put in primary 2. In Canada, most 5 year Olds are just starting the elementary school. There is nothing like holding back. A star will always be a star when the times comes. I still stand on my initial position on this matter 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Karleb(m): 8:44pm On Nov 07, 2022 |
Some of you parents want your children to become the next Elon Musk but you have suddenly forgotten that a lizard will not birth crocodile. 2 Likes |
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by ImaIma1(f): 10:33pm On Nov 07, 2022 |
Focusmind: That's why you and I are different. While I will explore the option of letting my child reach her maximum potential especially when she does it without being pushed, you might prefer to keep yours sheltered from that kind of growth. That's fine. Canada is not Nigeria. Even in Canada, they have special schools for exceptional children. A 4yr old child is reading like a 6yr old but I should keep her in primary 1 because someone thinks it is bad. Some stars, when hidden are not given the allowance to shine. Many parents shield their children from shinning, and that is a bigger problem. And who decides when the right time is? We the parents or the child's gift? 1 Like |
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by GboyegaD(m): 11:16pm On Nov 07, 2022 |
ImaIma1: Don't you think maturity is very key? The challenge sometimes is that you meet the Nigerian kid who is termed smart however, is very shallow because the brain is not capable of having real discuss and has been forced to grow due to the pressure of the educational system that allows for imbalanced growth. 5 Likes |
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by ImaIma1(f): 12:31am On Nov 08, 2022 |
GboyegaD: Yes. That should be put into consideration. I'm actually talking about a child that relates better with kids older than her, enjoys Mr Bean animated series and older kids cartoons rather than peppa pig or paw patrol, asks questions a whole lot and is very eager to learn new things, new words. Sometimes it is exhausting. A child that will not rest till she does her homework. And after she is done, she disturbs you to give her extra homework and even tells her teacher to give her more homework. What do you do with a child like that, one that has a great passion for learning ehn Mr Gboyega? |
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Fiscus105(m): 1:19am On Nov 08, 2022 |
Legitmenaija: Not possible to be a mentor without physical appearance for such type a person at that age. I will advise you go for a man (preferable) around you. Meanwhile, you can also seek the help of clinical psychologist. |
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by sunnymighty(m): 4:09am On Nov 08, 2022 |
Focusmind: God bless you for this, my wife wanted our daughter to skip a class simply because she is ahead of her mates in class but I insisted on due process I will show this thread to her. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Nobody: 10:53am On Nov 08, 2022 |
I have a nephew with a similar problem.. but his is a bit too serious. At 14, he's still struggling to read and write to a point that he can't even construct a good sentence in his home language or English. |
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by aisha1314(f): 11:11am On Nov 08, 2022 |
Legitmenaija: His poor grades and lazy attitude towards studies is probably because he's too young for his class. At 10 he should be in primary 5 or 6 not JS2. Maybe he finds the work too advanced and that's why he can't keep up. Since he's ten in JS2 it means he probably skipped 2 classes so his foundation may be weak. You could try getting him a lesson teacher though if he doesn't already have one. As for the sluggishness and playfulness I don't think you need to worry too much about it. It's likely just a phase that will pass. He's still maturing so. When I was that age I was so playful that I could hardly sit in one place for up to five minutes. I was very restless in class, constantly talking and causing distractions. My parents were worried too but by the time I was 12, my attitude had changed and I was doing well in school. So don't be too worried it's just immaturity which he'll grow out of. Just keep talking to him and encouraging him. With time he will change. 2 Likes |
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Kobojunkie: 11:21am On Nov 08, 2022 |
Samantha123:Please get the boy to a professional mental health therapist who can help him asap. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by MumEmdy(f): 11:50am On Nov 08, 2022 |
I also have a twin son that is very slow in learning, the twin sister is very intelligent always come first in the class but the boy is way too backward can't even complete letter writing without errors. He was the reason why we kept changing their school for the third time now. We were asked to repeat him when they were about to start primary 1, it was hard for us since they are twins but we had no option, he became worse and couldn't even do what he was doing when they were in the same class the dad had to change their school and explain to the school management to promote him to the sister's class. They are now 8years old both in primary 4, the girl is academically sound always come top of her class with awards to it. I am very worried for my son especially when is time for them to go to secondary school. Even the younger brother of 5years can read and write to some extent . In his own case he good at games, he can fix somethings, like drawing and painting he once fix my DStv issue before his Dad came back, he is very good when it comes to domestic activities like sweeping, washing his clothes and dishes. NOTE:. He is good at memorizing everything he being taught e.g asked him What's a noun he will memorize it for but he can't even spell or write" NOUN . " Please What can we do in his own case |
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Nobody: 12:10pm On Nov 08, 2022 |
The issue is his mother, she may not like it because according to her, her child is just being lazy. Kobojunkie: |
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Kobojunkie: 12:16pm On Nov 08, 2022 |
MumEmdy:Why not visit a profession mental Healthcare counselor to learn how best to help your son instead of pushing him to live up to his sister in this? ![]() Primary 4 when you admit he does not seem to fit in well, why? ![]() |
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by MumEmdy(f): 12:33pm On Nov 08, 2022 |
Kobojunkie: . |
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Mindlog: 12:57pm On Nov 08, 2022 |
Samantha123: He has learning difficulty, probably Dyslexic and can be helped be a trained professional. 1 Like |
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Octopusssy(f): 1:56pm On Nov 08, 2022 |
Seems dyslexic |
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by CeeJeckydivah: 4:17pm On Nov 08, 2022 |
Beremx: My younger brother was exactly 10 years in jss2 & was among the top 3 in his class. He wrote waec gce in ss2 & passed all subjects but chemistry simple because he said he doesn't like the subject. But we pressured him to do better in his waec and gues what out of 152 students in the school they wrote waec that year only him made his 9 papers complete including yoruba ( imagine delta boy cramming yoruba) ![]() He eventually finished ss3 at the age of 15 as the best grad student in his secondary school set. So what are you saying.... So age doesn't matter. Let her and bis teaches observe what he likes and start to push him towards that direction. 1 Like |
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Mindlog: 4:58pm On Nov 08, 2022 |
CeeJeckydivah: Age matters, each child has his/her pace. There is this urge among Nigerians to see their children finish secondary school by the time they are 15, that's madness! Though they are exceptions of academically gifted children who also do need extra resources to help them be grounded, socially and emotionally. Schooling is not just about academics but also aiding in their psychosocial development. I had a talk with a 14+ year old kid who had finished secondary school earlier this year....I could easily establish the developmental gaps from a clinical perspective and the parents are already in a hurry for University. ![]() Even in Kenya, it is very, very rare seeing a 15 year old finishing secondary school, say wetin happen because it is illegal for schools to admit any child who has not yet clocked 3 into their school. They enter Primary one at age 6-7 years old and overwhelming majority finishing secondary school at 17+ -18 yrs. 2 Likes |
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by sisisioge: 5:22pm On Nov 08, 2022 |
MumEmdy: Hmmmm....is the boy really interested in learning to read those things he crammed? While you're sourcing for help from professionals,let me share my own story. It might help. I grew up in the north and went to one of the best schools there. In fact I was smart, quite zealous and was always coming third in my class. Fast forward to primary 5, we needed to move to SW. You wont believe that I that could speak English for Africa and remembers all that I was taught in class could not pass the entrance exam to primary 5 in SW. Summarily, I couldn't even read the questions let alone answer them. My point is, I could not read in primary 5 whereas my younger sister could read and passed her primary 4 exam with flying colours. How was the problem fixed, they stepped me back to primary 4 and let me loose in the school library with guidance. I started reading interesting stories books and fell in love with reading. I think what stood out was that I was allowed to choose what I read....and I read all the stories with glee ![]() 3 Likes |
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Mindlog: 8:09pm On Nov 08, 2022 |
sisisioge: The power of a library,I can relate to your experience around story books as I read so widely from primary 3. Then when I got into secondary school, right from J.S.S 1 I was known as a library rat because I was always seen in the school library whenever we were free in class. My school had a very rich library and being an old school owned by the Catholic Church, it had classic books shipped in from the UK and US way back from the 70s.....By the time I finished S.S.3 I had memorized the history of Colonial America, their wars, slave trade, how each State came to be .....the Monarchy, the wars between the English, Scots and the Irish etc. Rob Roy MacGregor was my favourite Scottish outlaw and earlier in the year, I went to Scotland to visit his monument.....it was surreal, from reading about him and his exploits in J.S S 2 to standing beside his monument, dreams do come true. ![]() Then they had so many books by Nigerian and other African writers (I used to daydream of Zanzibar based on one of the story books ![]() ![]() Reason I love to donate story books (outside the curriculum) to public primary schools whenever I am around, stories books have a way of helping a child float away, travel in their mind because it did same for me. Children should be encouraged to read more story books (hard copy, not digital). 4 Likes |
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by sisisioge: 9:00pm On Nov 08, 2022 |
Mindlog: Wow! You were a serious student reading history ![]() 1 Like |
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Mindlog: 9:19pm On Nov 08, 2022 |
sisisioge: In as much we can't wave aside the reality of the digital world, parents need to go an extra mile to be intentional about getting their children to read outside academics, make out time for "story book time" and let the kids share what they have read in a relaxed setting. 3 Likes |
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by ZIMDRILL(m): 10:25pm On Nov 08, 2022 |
Legitmenaija: you got excited when he was in primary when he showed few excellents and you thought he is gifted. From your narration he acting the way most 99% of people of his age do. A 10 year old in secondary skol, most are discovering teenage hormes, Your own is just 10 and he should be playful Can you explain what made you think he is a genious to jump to high skol like that 1 Like |
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by GboyegaD(m): 11:10pm On Nov 08, 2022 |
ImaIma1: I don't know how best to explain this however, there is more to it than schoolwork. Challenge the child in other aspects and let her have a balanced growth instead of rushing classes. 4 in Primary 2 doesn't just seem right. An alternative will be home schooling and that way, she isn't pressured by the school system and you can also ensure a balance all round. 1 Like |
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by ImaIma1(f): 11:42pm On Nov 08, 2022 |
GboyegaD: 4 in primary 2. Term started in sept. She clocked 5 in Oct. Challenge the child in other aspects like what? A child that is very interested in academics. Should you redirect such a child? And when later the child mellows down and loses that passion to learn because of our mindset and set ways, would that be better? |
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by GboyegaD(m): 11:52pm On Nov 08, 2022 |
ImaIma1: Don't let us stress this, she is your daughter and you know how best to raise her. |
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Legitmenaija: 3:38am On Nov 09, 2022 |
Samantha123: My boy does not have such problem thought. He reads very well. He is very good at spelling. He writes very very well. The issue i have with him is the sluggishness with with he does things. Especially the note copying from the board. He probably needs a male figure to talk to like some one suggested. Though there is great improvement since i started implementing all the advice given here and in my inbox. He is now in speed writing competition with his classmates. I told him he can do it. He only has to push himself and its working. We will definitely get there. |
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Legitmenaija: 3:42am On Nov 09, 2022 |
aisha1314: Thank you. He started from pre nursery at age 2. His father didn't allow him do nursery 3, saying it was not important. So from Nursery 2 he entered PRY 1 and have been going like that. He did not skip any class. |
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by ImaIma1(f): 3:23pm On Nov 10, 2022 |
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Lucrativress(f): 5:39pm On Nov 11, 2022 |
Legitmenaija: It's hard I'm sure But there's still a remedy Find out things he likes You have to take him as a project you want to make work, get ready to study and scrutinize What are the things he likes What are the things you like about him State them all down What are the things you want him to start doing Write them all down. Next What are the possible remedies Don't stop at thinking of just one option. If you have nothing forthcoming, go online. What are his strengths, his weaknesses... If you feel it's about being pretty unserious. Then do this Stop him from going to School I know this is harsh but just do it. Tell him you can't afford him to go to School anymore since he is not interested in School. Sit him down and tell him it is totally fine and you understand and he wouldn't have to go to School anymore. It would be like a joke till you make it happen. Wait for one week to observe his reactions. 2nd week, take him to either a Tailor Shop or somewhere for him to do apprenticeship I know this might sound crazy but find something he has Tintini passion for. Liaise with the Owner of the Shop whoever to task him always, he has to give him things to do all the time and he has to be strict. If the owner has a Son his age. Tell the owner to make him come over after School everyday. If it is that he'll bribe that one to form seriousness with book So let him learn work You have to observe his reactions so so well o This can break or make him. But I'm telling you, do this well and you might not only get a good Son but a better productive Son. Tell the owner to send him errands, he should make him the errand Boy The one that gets to wash everyone's plates, sweep, do stuffs. But nothing above his power You need to inculcate reality into that boy and make him a bit older than his age small. Put in mind this will happen for one Term. Whatever the outcome is, use it wisely. Then you as his mother, read. Read. Tell his Boss to tell him he gives people books to read there and the Boy has to tell him wassup It has to be life books, not School Books. Let your son know he has no choice but to answer his Oga and you also don't have a say cause you no longer have money like you used to Beg your son to please understand, yes do that ![]() |
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