deewhydoski:
@mammiee330, pls don't tell you mum about it don't let your mum start finding fault in him. That's one of the things we were taught in marriage counseling that we should not quick to run to our parent anytime we find fault in our partner. Look for his spiritual father and report to him, I think he will call him to order

..


Report to spiritual father... No be Pastor be dat?.. You don't trust your parents but trust a spiritual father... Lol.

after dating my husband for some years

after wasting my time with him for some years.
You wasted your youth, now you're being relegated to baby pumper. Enjoy your new job title.

So u didn't know all these while dating? Abi dating lusting no dey work again ?

Mrklemo:
..


Report to spiritual father... No be Pastor be dat?.. You don't trust your parents but trust a spiritual father... Lol.

So what happen to Pastor, Is it all pastor that are bad.
Did u see anywhere in my writeup that I said I do not trust my parents. If u report ur wife to ur mum, ur mum will side you and she will give u advice that will suit u if she report u to her mum too same thing will happen. So both ur parent will start getting into ur head and it will cause problem for your family.

It is better to look for someone that is neutral that is not member of u and ur wife family, it is the person that will not take side and be neutral....it is better to report ur case to a spiritual father that u and ur wife trusted most. Peace

Hello everyone. I thought that when I propose a serious relationship to a girl with whom I had a good time several times, she would be very happy. But now we announced that we are dating and she doesn't seem to be very enthusiastic about being in love with me. What could be wrong? Maybe I should have made some party or given some gift in honor of this event? Because I am really surprised by her coldness in the relationship.

Hi. Maybe it's because she's not in love with you. Having a good time is one thing, but maybe she was just showing sympathy and nothing more and you accelerated the events. Maybe there are no feelings but she sees the benefits of being in a relationship with you? Unrequited love has exactly these signs. More about this in the article https://easy-dating.net/unrequited-love dedicated to this topic. I advise you to read it as soon as possible and find out the truth, and whether you are being used?

One man's advice is another man's suicide not

imadiyi:

The way some of you guys here on nairaland reached conclusion baffles me.

Divoc19:
One man's advice is another man's suicide not

It's unfortunate that most humans have failed to realize that sometimes, our thoughts have the capableness of betraying our feelings.

You have already noted the right expression for these kind of issues.

imadiyi:

It's unfortunate that most humans have failed to realize that sometimes, our thoughts have the capableness of betraying our feelings.

Mammie330:

I got married few months ago after dating my husband for some years.

Our relationship was really beautiful and I was the envy of most ladies.

At some point we had a long distance relationship but Communication was smooth.

The first time he came to visit , I discovered he had been chatting with one girl, having flirty conversations and all. He said he was just catching cruise and apologized for that. I forgave him.

Another time I discovered he doesn't know how to set boundaries with ladies.
I complained about all that and he promised to change.
This is someone that comes to visit me at any given opportunity.
Then recently I found out he had been chatting with one girl on Tiktok.
The girl already started calling him baby and I saw where he told the girl he likes her already.
As usual he said it’s not serious, that he hasn’t seen the girl and he didn’t mean that.
The girl chatted him up and he flowed because he was bored.
Truth Is I’m hurt and ashamed.
Where’s the self respect?
Someone you don’t know from anywhere.
He eventually blocked the girl but I don’t even trust him anymore.
When we were together, he wasn’t anything like that and I’m wondering what went wrong.

He keeps talking about how much he loves me and how he wouldn’t have been married to anyone else if he didn’t get married to me but at this point I’m not even moved again.

I’ve asked him countless times why he is flirting with ladies online.
He said nothing.

He said he hasn’t touched any lady apart from me.
I’m actually tired of asking, I want to know what I can do to get the pain away.

I’ll be alone for a while.

Should I stop talking to him?
Should I report him to my mum?
Should I play along and just develop a coping mechanism?
What coping mechanism can i develop?
Should I keep complaining?
I didn’t allow him touch me before he travelled and he was pained.
I really just want my man, I don’t like how he’s not making me trust him anymore.
I don’t go after other peoples’ men why should mine be like this?
Can he possibly change?

Just online flirt and you are getting angry
What happens if he does it real life, you will get mad, right ?

Just keep cautioning him until you get tired of it

Meanwhile he may be doing it for the fun of it
Men don't really get satisfied being with one woman

So he wants to explore and you are lucky he is doing so online

Is either he stops it or he does it in reality with them

Left for me, relax and concentrate on your marriage, he is just entertaining himself and nothing else

Divoc19:
You have already noted the right expression for these kind of issues.

That's just the reality of trust in a relationship; whether in marriage or courtship. Both partners need to understand each other deeply, so as to sustain the love they shared. So, counsel like move-on, all men/women are cheat, be expecting your breakfast, blah blah blah, kill rather than healing.

deewhydoski:

So what happen to Pastor, Is it all pastor that are bad.
Did u see anywhere in my writeup that I said I do not trust my parents. If u report ur wife to ur mum, ur mum will side you and she will give u advice that will suit u if she report u to her mum too same thing will happen. So both ur parent will start getting into ur head and it will cause problem for your family.

It is better to look for someone that is neutral that is not member of u and ur wife family, it is the person that will not take side and be neutral....it is better to report ur case to a spiritual father that u and ur wife trusted most. Peace

I get your point.

Shalom

brosom:
Not every flirt be cheat, there are innocent ones.


Don't make mountain were there isn't.

I agree with you ... I can flirt all day but I won't every get past that

If it was as simple as it sounds the op wouldn't have to face this current issue.
Adulthood and life it self is not easy.
There is more to marriage than sex and romance.

imadiyi:

That's just the reality of trust in a relationship; whether in marriage or courtship. Both partners need to understand each other deeply, so as to sustain the love they shared. So, counsel like move-on, all men/women are cheat, be expecting your breakfast, blah blah blah, kill rather than healing.

Divoc19:
If it was as simple as it sounds the op wouldn't have to face this current issue.
Adulthood and life it self is not easy.
There is more to marriage than sex and romance.

All we've both been talking about are facts. But it's just that that thing called "relationship" is extremely complicated. However, my perceived solution is just for you to imbibe that word known as "trust", to have peace and love serenity, irrespective of other contrary vibes that may have transpired

How do you 'Trust' someone that does not love or care about you, deceived you or disappointed you, or played you, or took you for granted or have different view about life in general..... to make it worse you are already 'IN' before you find 'OUT'

Babe, na to manage and if you can't manage you move on. Try live a free life because life is too short to live through stress. My best advice ever
You can't change anybody... Even God wey create us, we dey disappoint am steady (sin) according to religion

imadiyi:

All we've both been talking about are facts. But it's just that that thing called "relationship" is extremely complicated. However, my perceived solution is just for you to imbibe that word known as "trust", to have peace and love serenity, irrespective of other contrary vibes that may have transpired

It doesn’t sound like he respects your relationship if he’s not willing to change, leave him and find someone who will appreciate you.

Hollybratt:
He can never change again, just divorce!
.
.
.
IRMC

lol kids with their kind of comment , you think is easy to get divorce? I don't even know if your parent is still leaving together that is why you are playing with divorce,? Op i will advice you to go on with your marriage , marriage has it's difficulty , and don't think that your housband will stick to only you , even if youS conplain to your parent or his parEnt dey will not do anything about it , is norMal for men , even your own father is also a flirt , so please deal with it with care husband are scarce dis days. If you tell anybody they will tell you to pray for him he will change , that is only advice you will recieve.

Divoc19:
How do you 'Trust' someone that does not love or care about you, deceived you or disappointed you, or played you, or took you for granted or have different view about life in general..... to make it worse you are already 'IN' before you find 'OUT'

Babe, na to manage and if you can't manage you move on. Try live a free life because life is too short to live through stress. My best advice ever
You can't change anybody... Even God wey create us, we dey disappoint am steady (sin) according to religion

Smilessss. You don't have to reach a conclusion when you are just beginning. Remember, it takes two to tangle. And amongst the two that tangles, one must be subjective. This is also applicable to marriage, friendship, colleagues, siblings etc.

For a relationship of any kind to blossom, one of the half must be subjective; something I refer to tolerance. Either of a man or his partner must be willing to tolerate excesses, else, the relationship will fail.

In life, everything has a break even point. It's at that point the law of diminishing returns come to play. No matter the excesses of one's partner, it will surely gets to level where he/she will begin to feel remorseful over his/her action or inaction.

All these requires patience; which is why it remains the key to a successful marriage. My dear, I don't want to go on and on. Let me alight for now.

EM123:
lol kids with their kind of comment , you think is easy to get divorce? I don't even know if your parent is still leaving together that is why you are playing with divorce,? Op i will advice you to go on with your marriage , marriage has it's difficulty , and don't think that your housband will stick to only you , even if youS conplain to your parent or his parEnt dey will not do anything about it , is norMal for men , even your own father is also a flirt , so please deal with it with care husband are scarce dis days. If you tell anybody they will tell you to pray for him he will change , that is only advice you will recieve.

Coming from a slave who dey find job