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How Do I Save My Relationship - Romance - Nairaland

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How Do I Save My Relationship by Nobody: 5:34pm On Dec 16, 2022
Hi everyone, so I met this beautiful babe June this year and we started dating three months later. We genuinely loved each other and we had a relationship that people envied.

We trusted each other so much that I had access to her google account and all her personal info on my laptop, while she also had mine on her phone to cut the long story short, I have a problem of always getting worried whenever she is not home and I can't reach her for example if she leaves in a bolt and the journey is 30minutes but she is not reachable one hour later I start to worry and call people I feel are at home and even the bolt rider.

On this particular day, she had a meeting with her colleagues which just came into the country, she shared her live location but it was last updated an hour ago, she was not picking her calls and it was 11:45pm mind you she was in Ikeja and lives at lekki so she was still going to Lekki that night in this dangerous December month in Lagos. I called and called but she did not pick then I got so worried and went to her google contacts to get her boss number and called him. He told her I called and that is how trouble started.

She explained that nobody has his number and she is the middle man between him and clients so his number getting into my hands without her permission means his company info is not safe. She said I have destroyed all what she labored to build over the years and blocked me everywhere (phone, whatsapp, snapchat) and left me with only instagram access. I have been begging her since last night when this happened, but she only unblocked me to tell me not to call her again and blocked me back.

I have been trying to explain to her that relationship and marriage is full of challenges so she should not let this one destroy what we had but she has been ignoring me. If I call with a different number she hangs up immediately she hears my voice.

We were already talking about marriage and in fact, I had already started making arrangements for a proposal next year.

I swear I really love this lady with everything that I have and I know for a fact that she loved me too but right now I am confused I am wondering how she was so much in love with me yesterday morning but doesn’t even want to hear my voice today. She went as far as threatening to get me arrested if I come close to her house. I am really confused and need mature advice on what to do to save this relationship because right now I can’t focus on anything. Plus I trust her so I wasn’t calling because I thought she was doing something silly.

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Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Nobody: 5:41pm On Dec 16, 2022
Serves you right, big fool. Na your type dey send woman go school grin grin grin

I can bet my left yansh that the girl sef dey cheat. Show me a naija girl that doesn't cheat and I will show you a 90 year old virgin grandma

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Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by chucks185: 5:50pm On Dec 16, 2022
i don't think you are mentally mature enough for dating, especially nigerian girls

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Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Nobody: 5:52pm On Dec 16, 2022
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Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by MarketDispatch: 5:53pm On Dec 16, 2022
Mino1000:
Hi everyone, so I met this beautiful babe June this something silly.

Why were you stalking her every minute to the extent of bringing her company business into her personal affair?

Go and wash the lust off your face and let the girl enjoy her life.

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Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Franzinni: 5:53pm On Dec 16, 2022
Hehe guy I know how you feel but to be honest you messed up big time, you know a woman loves to be chased but e get when she need to rest from all the running, alot of young men don't know and they keep chasing who nor dey run. ... You had her but now you have lost her forever becasue even if she takes you back and forgives you, you would not have the masculine frame and trust me in little or no time she will dump you patapata.

My advice is give her space ... Let her breath small, you can't choke another person and be asking them why they are choking goddammit!

You even went as far as calling her boss ...Omo you dey love puppy love ...wake up ! Wake your self the f up!! If you love her, you would be mature and apologize, then respect her decisions and give her space... Guy nah woman she be, if you play it right she will come back to you but if you think you can beg your way to her heart back you will only become repulsive and simply cheap.

Man up and shift your focus to your hustle even if your mind go her place ... Endure, resist and persist. After some days you will adjust and then you would be able to see clearly .

I have been in your shoes ... When I was in secondary school, I loved a girl so much ( I thought I did ) that I would wake up write a love letter, then walk like 30 miles to her school before she gets to school and wait to give her the letter, in my mind, that was the price to pay for love but in reality I was only being a pest, and a repulsive creature.

Let her breath... Your perception of love might not be her reality.

696 Likes 49 Shares

Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by tayo60(f): 5:54pm On Dec 16, 2022
Let her be for now, don't lose your self-esteem because of a girl. She may later change her mind.

265 Likes 10 Shares

Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by advanceDNA: 5:57pm On Dec 16, 2022
Mino1000:
Hi everyone, so I met this beautiful babe June this year and we started dating three months later. We genuinely loved each other and we had a relationship that people envied.

We trusted each other so much that I had access to her google account and all her personal info on my laptop, while she also had mine on her phone to cut the long story short, I have a problem of always getting worried whenever she is not home and I can't reach her for example if she leaves in a bolt and the journey is 30minutes but she is not reachable one hour later I start to worry and call people I feel are at home and even the bolt rider.

On this particular day, she had a meeting with her colleagues which just came into the country, she shared her live location but it was last updated an hour ago, she was not picking her calls and it was 11:45pm mind you she was in Ikeja and lives at lekki so she was still going to Lekki that night in this dangerous December month in Lagos. I called and called but she did not pick then I got so worried and went to her google contacts to get her boss number and called him. He told her I called and that is how trouble started.

She explained that nobody has his number and she is the middle man between him and clients so his number getting into my hands without her permission means his company info is not safe. She said I have destroyed all what she labored to build over the years and blocked me everywhere (phone, whatsapp, snapchat) and left me with only instagram access. I have been begging her since last night when this happened, but she only unblocked me to tell me not to call her again and blocked me back.

I have been trying to explain to her that relationship and marriage is full of challenges so she should not let this one destroy what we had but she has been ignoring me. If I call with a different number she hangs up immediately she hears my voice.

We were already talking about marriage and in fact, I had already started making arrangements for a proposal next year.

I swear I really love this lady with everything that I have and I know for a fact that she loved me too but right now I am confused I am wondering how she was so much in love with me yesterday morning but doesn’t even want to hear my voice today. She went as far as threatening to get me arrested if I come close to her house. I am really confused and need mature advice on what to do to save this relationship because right now I can’t focus on anything. Plus I trust her so I wasn’t calling because I thought she was doing something silly.

U met this girl in june....nigga....trust me, u dont know this girl and u are not totally sure how she feels about u...... u have Apologized

Give her 3 weeks space.......dont be a fool, desperately begging for love and attention.
Let her clam down and be the one to come back to you...just becos u offended her doesnt mean u have to be a pathetic ídoit.....if she does not come back.......let her go.....that means u dont mean jack to her

If u continue begging ..u will lose the ur percentage of the leverage and control of the relationship if she comes back to you because of ur begi begi....woman dont love or respect begi begi pathetic lovers.... they use them and toss them aside...

403 Likes 18 Shares

Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by izzou(m): 6:00pm On Dec 16, 2022
What you should do is leave her alone.

You have begged, cried and cried. What else do you want to do again?

I hope you also learn to trust people enough not to jump immediately into their confidential details, the moment you can't get across to them.

This is also a flag to observe if you guys get back together again.

76 Likes 3 Shares

Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Mjshexy(f): 6:02pm On Dec 16, 2022
First you're dangerously insecured.
Secondly don't call her again for now, give her some space and learn from it.
Thirdly, you need to work on developing a trust mindset for a woman you intend getting married to.
Lastly, your lady needs to manage her anger properly and try to be more open in the relationship.
Happy Weekend cool

226 Likes 9 Shares

Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Kobojunkie: 6:09pm On Dec 16, 2022
Mino1000:
She explained that nobody has his number and she is the middle man between him and clients so his number getting into my hands without her permission means his company info is not safe. She said I have destroyed all what she labored to build over the years and blocked me everywhere (phone, whatsapp, snapchat) and left me with only instagram access. I have been begging her since last night when this happened, but she only unblocked me to tell me not to call her again and blocked me back.

I have been trying to explain to her that relationship and marriage is full of challenges so she should not let this one destroy what we had but she has been ignoring me. If I call with a different number she hangs up immediately she hears my voice. We were already talking about marriage and in fact, I had already started making arrangements for a proposal next year.

I swear I really love this lady with everything that I have and I know for a fact that she loved me too but right now I am confused I am wondering how she was so much in love with me yesterday morning but doesn’t even want to hear my voice today. She went as far as threatening to get me arrested if I come close to her house. I am really confused and need mature advice on what to do to save this relationship because right now I can’t focus on anything. Plus I trust her so I wasn’t calling because I thought she was doing something silly.
OMG! You called her boss? This one na serious stalking levels shocked

OP, She did well to block you, and I suggest you use the opportunity to dig into your own self and get help for what obviously ails you. I suggest you disconnect entirely from intimate relationships. Contact a mental help therapist abeg and get on treatment immediately. Do not even go near a girl until your therapist tells you you are ready. You have some seriously deep issues of insecurity baking inside of you that need to be dealt with first. undecided

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Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Kobojunkie: 6:10pm On Dec 16, 2022
tayo60:
Let her be for now, don't lose your self-esteem because of a girl. She may later change her mind.
What self-esteem does OP have? Why should the girl change her mind when what she was dating was her stalker? undecided

32 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Kobojunkie: 6:11pm On Dec 16, 2022
MarketDispatch:
Why were you stalking her every minute to the extent of bringing her company business into her personal affair?

Go and wash the lust off your face and let the girl enjoy her life.
Seriously! shocked

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by joceey(m): 6:11pm On Dec 16, 2022
Guy that girl is sincere with u, just give her space ghost her for now make u focus on your future. I can give u assurance 95.6% that girl dey cheat on u.

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Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Kobojunkie: 6:13pm On Dec 16, 2022
Mino1000:
Can you please explain what you mean so I don’t assume
What you need is to seek professional mental counseling to help you overcome the many insecurities that led you to stalk your own girlfriend. undecided

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Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Nobody: 6:16pm On Dec 16, 2022
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Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Richy4(m): 6:19pm On Dec 16, 2022
OP.. kindly work on yourself please... This is a serious mental issues... It will affect your relationship someday if nothing is done...And your unborn female kids will not be left out as well...the vibe u created that someone is out there to get them will affect them..

You are the type that women avoid overseas because u have the potential killer vibes and stalking mentality...If she says it's over, u might kill her and kill yourself...

That's how it all began... From successfully convincing loved ones to share their password to putting car tracker etc..

Please don't treat this lightly OP... Seek for professional help.. I'm not making this up any psychiatrist or psychologist in this forum can tell you...You might be a potential Nigerian 'watery beans' candidate if nothing is done..

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Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Nobody: 6:21pm On Dec 16, 2022
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Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Richy4(m): 6:28pm On Dec 16, 2022
Mino1000:

She also put her details by herself because she wanted me to have access to things easily for example if I needed to fill a form for her but your point is noted.
I can bet that you asked for it.. and she decided to put it just to convince you she got nothing to hide... but comes up with the form excuse...

I'm scared for you buddy honestly... Please look for someone to talk to.. it will help you a lot... What were u even thinking calling her boss... What was on your mind Haba!! shocked

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Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Nobody: 6:31pm On Dec 16, 2022
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Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Kobojunkie: 6:34pm On Dec 16, 2022
Mino1000:
Most times she shares her live location herself whenever she is going out and said that is what they do for security reasons… she also gets angry when I don’t check and ask for updates but I guess I took it too far.
In your OP, you more than made it clear to us that this issue of insecurity is from your person. undecided
Mino1000:
We trusted each other so much that I had access to her google account and all her personal info on my laptop, while she also had mine on her phone to cut the long story short, I have a problem of always getting worried whenever she is not home and I can't reach her for example if she leaves in a bolt and the journey is 30minutes but she is not reachable one hour later I start to worry and call people I feel are at home and even the bolt rider.
On this particular day, she had a meeting with her colleagues which just came into the country, she shared her live location but it was last updated an hour ago, she was not picking her calls and it was 11:45pm mind you she was in Ikeja and lives at lekki so she was still going to Lekki that night in this dangerous December month in Lagos. I called and called but she did not pick then I got so worried and went to her google contacts to get her boss number and called him. He told her I called and that is how trouble started.
You were literally a stalker posing as a boyfriend, from the explanation contained in your OP. lipsrsealed

Surely, she has issues of her own, however, you should strongly consider tackling your personal issues of insecurity. At least so you can improve your quality of life and better enjoy your next relationship. This isn't to say that you are a bad person. No, not at all. We all have issues that we have to work through in order to become better people in life. I recommend seeing a psychiatrist because that was what helped me in my situation — I would have turned a complete nutjob if I hadn't sought out the help of one when I did many years ago. And thanks to sticking with treatment, not only was I able to improve my quality of life, but also realize wonderful things about my mind and myself as an individual. undecided

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Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by GboyegaD(m): 6:36pm On Dec 16, 2022
You are very insecure, and I do not think this is love. I feel you are more infatuated about her.
Go deal with your insecurities first.

40 Likes 4 Shares

Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by GboyegaD(m): 6:39pm On Dec 16, 2022
Richy4:
OP.. kindly work on yourself please... This is a serious mental issues... It will affect your relationship someday if nothing is done...And your unborn female kids will not be left out as well...the vibe u created that someone is out there to get them will affect them..

You are the type that women avoid overseas because u have the potential killer vibes and stalking mentality...If she says it's over, u might kill her and kill yourself...

That's how it all began... From successfully convincing loved ones to share their password to putting car tracker etc..

Please don't treat this lightly OP... Seek for professional help.. I'm not making this up any psychiatrist or psychologist in this forum can tell you...You might be a potential Nigerian 'watery beans' candidate if nothing is done..

This one no be case of it will again now, it has affected it ni. The guy just tire me. How do you stalk someone isn't it energy consuming?

20 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Richy4(m): 6:42pm On Dec 16, 2022
Mino1000:


No I did not

Bro it was 11:45 pm and she was not reachable my brother was almost kidnapped in this lagos if not that we quickly called the person he was with last… we found them on the road and that was how he was saved.
Oh!! Okay.. it's a case of being stung once by a Bee and every fly that hovers around looks and sounds like a Bee...

Take it easy man.. probably you should learn to count 1 to 200 before you act impulsively next time... because I believe there will be millions of next time...
Also explain to her the reason behind it.. I still think u need to see someone...

35 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Richy4(m): 6:46pm On Dec 16, 2022
GboyegaD:


This one no be case of it will again now, it has affected it ni. The guy just tire me. How do you stalk someone isn't it energy consuming?

Honestly bro.. I am scared for him.. People might think it's just nothing but..Hmmm!!!

Just imagine calling the boss over what exactly?.. was that the due process? Chaii!!!

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Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Nobody: 6:46pm On Dec 16, 2022

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Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Ovieemmanuel: 6:49pm On Dec 16, 2022
Mugu shift. Nonsense you would have called her father too.

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Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Richy4(m): 6:50pm On Dec 16, 2022
Mino1000:



Thank you very much, I would definitely see someone
Have a good day man.. if she is for u she will comeback to you... I also think 3 months is not long enough to know someone.. Just saying because u hinted about marriage plans.. Cheers mate..

25 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by GboyegaD(m): 7:00pm On Dec 16, 2022
Richy4:


Honestly bro.. I am scared for him.. People might think it's just nothing but..Hmmm!!!

Just imagine calling the boss over what exactly?.. was that the due process? Chaii!!!

The worst is he is having a justification for such. He is lucky he isn't in the west where the lady can report him for stalking. He isn't even thinking about her job. Now, her job is on the line and in his infatuation, he is more concerned about the relationship and not how he is likely landed someone in a situation she isn't finding pleasing.

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Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Nobody: 7:08pm On Dec 16, 2022
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Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by nicerod(m): 7:27pm On Dec 16, 2022
U shouldn't have called her boss


Give her space and learn ur lessons

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Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Rechargeam247(f): 8:04pm On Dec 16, 2022
Lol, your only wrong here is calling her boss. 11:45pm is quite late to be outside and not taking calls or messages.

Let her be for a while, she may or may not come around or you can send a message on Instagram letting her know you apologize for going too far to call her boss.

33 Likes 1 Share

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