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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. (64298 Views)
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About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by piecuntie: 6:52pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
HI NAIRALANDERS ; I am about to seperate from husband who sponsored me in school because I am fed up. I came from a very poor family. I met my husband when I was 19. He wasn't doing well either, he told me he was an engineer in a public hospital but as time went on I got to know he was a level 3 plumber in the civil service. Well I was young, naive, hungry and blindly in love. He went to trade school and I encouraged him to go back to school for HND or bsc but he said he was going to sponsor me first. I got pregnant for him in my first year in school when I was 20yrs old, my mom was against it. I got to know he was 13years older than me while pregnant. HE TOLD ME HE WAS 26yrs old. My mom wanted me to abort it, instead i packed my things and stayed with him. He abused my mom and I defended him. I gave birth while in school and he continued to support me both financially. We fought during those period, series of red flag but I decided to ignore it as long he wasn't beating me. He abused me emotionally. He knew my family was poor and there was no where i could go. I finished school and my friends told me not to marry a plumber, I declined and told them he promised to go to school. I finished school and i was scared of depending on him with my child, we were not doing fine at all. I had no choice than to date a rich guy who helped me with a good job in the year 2017. HE got to know about the guy and i broke up with him. I apologized and we GOT MARRIED LEGALLY and got pregnant with my second child. We spent only 150k. All the money i made from my salary, I made sure i supported him, i moved out of the family house in the year 2019, we have been there for 8yrs, he couldnt afford to rent a house, I spent 400k, both of us had no friends, we only had each other. I helped my brother and they did well in business. I asked my husband to go back to school, he was still adamant. We went to a traditional person and they told him there is a curse on his head that i should bathe and do some sacrifice for him, which i did. By year 2020 he was doing fine, we didn't even go hungry during the lockdown, I supported him with 2million naira and we did our traditional marriage. IT was his business patners who were notorious cheat and neglected their wife that did his groom men, They introduced him to an association, i have asked him what is the aim of the association, he cant tell me, it is a secret. 3 months after the wedding, he started cheating and even beat me for the first time on our wedding anniversary becaus of the girl, When he saw i withdrawed all financia assistant like paying half of the rent and paying one of the kids school fees. he called family members to beg me and we settled and i bought a family car for us to use. Since then i have been walking on eggs around him, he tells me i should respect his age that we are not mate, he beat me again last 3 months saying i am as proud as my mother and i abused his mother back. This monday i had to run after bus to go to work because i told im i was looking for mOney, and he said i just call him a thief. I had no money on me i had to call my brother to give me money. He wasnt even bothered. He doesn't call me again, WE DONT GO OUT AGAIN I don't stress him for expensive outing our wigs or phone. I bought my phone or trip myself out. He would rather hang out with his friends. He tells his friends and the kids i wear cheap outfits. My mind is now strong. I don't cry again if he offends me nor complain. I want to divorce him , sell the car and use it for this UK study route and take my children as dependent without him knowing. I am tired of the marriage already. He is 44 while I am 31. i want to move on with my life. Sorry for the long write up 178 Likes 10 Shares |
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by rickpat(m): 7:00pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
if you're truly fed up..YOU WON'T SEEK ANY ADVISE... good luck 445 Likes 23 Shares |
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by boldx(m): 7:01pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
It's pathetic. I understand how you feel. Please take care of your mental health as well. 132 Likes 10 Shares |
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by Richy4(m): 7:14pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
You can divorce him on grounds of Infidelity, assault and irreconcilable differences... But where I will never support u will be nursing the idea of running off with the kids... U are not the only one that made the kids... It was a joint effort.. If reverse was the case and he took the kids and disappears..just search within your conscience if u will like it...I will suggest that u let the law decide on what happens to them... As for divorcing him, you deserved to be happy and if U are not getting the happiness that u wanted anymore, instead of dying untimely.. just end it... Wishing you all the best.. 544 Likes 22 Shares |
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by Olaolex: 7:18pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
Please do whatever you think is right. I think you've made up your mind. But going secretly with the children, I don't approve of that. You can let the court of law make that decision. But as it is, I don't think he be responsible to take care of the children. Your children may latter be given to is relatives. You just have to be very careful in every step you take. Good luck! 12 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by Eyesstone(f): 7:21pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
May the spirit lead you right 10 Likes |
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by Ok12345(f): 7:22pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
Na wa oo What does men want? See this aunty married someone that sponsored her in school and she is still seeing shege. 51 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by advanceDNA: 7:35pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
piecuntie: We all have different tolerance limit...if u are sure u have tried everything including therapy, and genuine conversation with each other... Then madam.......peace of mind above any other thing.... 40 Likes 1 Share |
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by nicerod(m): 7:53pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
What happened again Divorce everyday 32 Likes 3 Shares
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Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by piecuntie: 7:54pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
advanceDNA: THANK YOU 3 Likes |
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by sisisioge: 7:55pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
If you already have your escape route planned, execute it silently and keep out of his way while at it. Good luck. 48 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by advanceDNA: 8:01pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
piecuntie: As per your jappa.....Embassy will ask for his consent or proof u have sole custody of ur kids....u can't do it behind him, he can write the embassy and accuse u of kidnap... So plan yourself well 177 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by Foodqueen(f): 8:05pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
Do the right thing 2 Likes |
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by ibechris(m): 8:12pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
Two kids abroad na hell Fire straight. Where is ur nanny...is like u want the govt to collect your children for negligence. Stay back and establish yourself...for divorce,I don't advice people on that at all. I don't say yes and I don't say no also. Good luck to u. 90 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by MufasaLion: 8:30pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
There's nothing as interesting as being single, amass wealth and focus on other important things. This marriage thing will make y'all go crazy. Make sure you leave that man but have an agreement on the custody of the kids. Kindly reach out to a divorce attorney. 35 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by Klass99(f): 8:44pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
15 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by tensazangetsu20(m): 8:55pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
Single motherhood. UK lol. Better have enough savings or the kind suffering wey go knack you go fear devil o . You can do whatever you want but plan it very very well and have enough money 33 Likes |
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by Regex: 9:19pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
piecuntie: UK is not for play. I know someone whose husband refused to join them in UK as she gave birth in UK. The child birth and plus school fees hustle delayed her and she couldn't make it to pay her fees. Her visa expired and she came back to Nigeria. 60 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by bestman09(m): 9:30pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
I hate any form of abuse, both physical and emotional in marriages. You have a thousand reasons to divorce him but one reason to rebuild the marriage. There are 3 sides to a story, (1) your side of the story (2) your husband's side of the story and (3) the truth about everything. Have you asked yourself about what would have happened if he didn't sponsor you in school at his own expense? I have a blood sister that the husband sponsored to the UK about 14 years ago and sent her to nursing school. She became a citizen, rich while the man was deported about 5 years ago because of Visa issues. Now she divorced the man over some flimsy excuse 2 years ago despite the 3 children they have. Some women with power and wealth tends to take their men for granted 175 Likes 13 Shares |
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by Atikuthief: 9:30pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
Richy4: 4 Likes |
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by PoliteActivist: 9:30pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
Ok, so what? Jejely divorce him. Won't be the first, won't be the last. 1 Like |
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by RZArecta(m): 9:30pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
Fact of the matter is that in situations like this, it's better to hear from the other side also but if what you're saying is true, then there's just enough grounds for divorce which isn't even that big enough if both families get involved, he'll be forced to beg and you guys will reconcile talk less of running with the kids even with oluwole court divorce. Think this through very well 6 Likes |
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by FashionCookie(f): 9:30pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
The Lord is your strength 1 Like |
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by ImoleNaija: 9:31pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
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Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by Falseprofet2: 9:31pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
Good luck. Your life matters: even pastors(Ayo Oritsejafor, Iginla, Oyahkilome) have all divorced Dont let anyone deceive you to stay and be beaten black and blue 14 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by Slawomirr: 9:31pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
Damnnn niggar This matter confused me My grandfather will always say to me son There are three sides to a story 1)The complainant version 3)The accused version 3)And the true story 22 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by TOPCRUISE(m): 9:31pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
Shey Plumber get levels ni. What is the meaning of level 3 plumber 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by NaijaCover(m): 9:32pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
You See What , Always Complain? |
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by atinga1: 9:32pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
Too many stories that touch in Nairaland these days. 18 Likes |
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by FuckOsuPigs: 9:32pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
Please go ahead and divorce him. You don't deserve a mumu. 7 Likes |
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by BanyXchi: 9:32pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
Wtf |
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by franchasng: 9:32pm On Dec 17, 2022 |
piecuntie:Very emotional story, life, sighs The UK study route is a good move to secure the future of your kids at least, but I doubt the proceeds from selling the car will be enough. For a family of 3, it will cost you at least 13million with huge proof of funds to secure the visa. You need to pay around 6million naira first installment for your school fees, are you aware? UK visa fee for you, your kids will gulp nothing less than 3million. Your flight tickets, your accommodation and settling down in UK, have you factored all these expenses? I don't have a word for your husband, if what you described about him is the truth, you have really tried and deserve a better life free of more dramas and future uncertainties 27 Likes |
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