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About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. - Family (11) - Nairaland

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I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible / Time To Divorce My Wife? / How Do I Handle A Husband Who Wants To Have Sex Almost Everyday? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by Icyversed: 6:59am On Dec 18, 2022
Horseband whey no dy use der head,shei na man b dat?
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by Glead(m): 7:00am On Dec 18, 2022
There is no 100% satisfaction, understanding, enjoyment, cooperation in anything in this world .
If you live alone , there will be a vacuum to fill in respective of your qualifications.
Make up ! My advice!
Single mummy &dad are crying in the RAIN.
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by chatinent: 7:03am On Dec 18, 2022
The situation apart, so everyone is forgetting the part she said he dated a rich guy while still with him?

Oh, she's promiscuous too... no matter how sugar-coated she's making her role in the story be.

I'd rather judge when I hear the story from both sides.
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by Elidrisy20: 7:09am On Dec 18, 2022
Women and their wahala, just say you want divorce jere
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by hardon1(m): 7:11am On Dec 18, 2022
You are not telling the complete truth...
From your story,The problem you guys has before then was his refusal to go to school
your husband turned violent after the your cheating incidence. Non violent men don't just turn violent overnight without a cause

He even forgave and continued with you sef. I believe those incidence where he hit you generated from argument concerning you and your dealings with some others people even though you won't mention it.

That man has sacrificed a lot for you, he sent you to school to lift you from poverty and today you and you family are better of.

Try to settle with him. That man be him a plumber loves you dearly. You may not fine someone who would love you as he does
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by Reference(m): 7:13am On Dec 18, 2022
You should not have agreed to the sponsorship of your education and his so called friendship/relationship in the first place. Both you, him and your parents knew once you go down the route of white slavery, it seldom ends well.

The question is, can you reverse all that. I will not even go into the technicalities of the fact that kids cannot possibly sponsor themselves to school. Of course he had to be older to do that. You invariably got married to your foster dad.

This is the vicious cycle of poverty we often speak about and the friction it generated to destroy individuals, families and whole societies. To move an individual, a family, a society or a nation up and out and forward, sacrifice needs to be made at some point which needs to be reciprocated if the system is to persist.

It is your turn to reciprocate.
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by kaymart: 7:16am On Dec 18, 2022
ukaface:
Typical example of a scumbag
Please divorce him
Did you read the entire story.
Did you read where she said she had to cheat on the guy to survive?
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by Richy4(m): 7:17am On Dec 18, 2022
sddiamond:
God bless you
Bless you too buddy smiley
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by olufikunayo640: 7:17am On Dec 18, 2022
WtfWtf...
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by kelly72: 7:18am On Dec 18, 2022
The snake seen by one person, is a python, don't forget, people.

This is your own side of the story, I have not heard his, so I cannot show sympathy to a one sided emotional story, don't wanna get duped.

However, if you truly think you are done with him, if you are now financially okay and your heart suddenly can no longer tolerate him, then don't seek public support or vindication. Leave!

You both might benefit if you do.
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by hardon1(m): 7:21am On Dec 18, 2022
cococandy:
If the finances is the issue why you can’t leave him, you already paid him back x10.
What’s your real excuse for not leaving?
It has to be more than financial.
Do you still love him? Are you staying for the kids like they say? What’s the main issue? Because you’re not financially indebted to him so I don’t see why that’s in your topic


Don't say that... There is nothing as priceless like a needed help/assistance. You may have millions today, but somebody's N500 can save your life.

Secondly, The man didn't saw her through school to be repaid. In my opinion, they should find a way to settle
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by Adegbem01(m): 7:22am On Dec 18, 2022
Richy4:
You can divorce him on grounds of Infidelity, assault and irreconcilable differences...

But where I will never support u will be nursing the idea of running off with the kids... U are not the only one that made the kids... It was a joint effort..

If reverse was the case and he took the kids and disappears..just search within your conscience if u will like it...I will suggest that u let the law decide on what happens to them...

As for divorcing him, you deserved to be happy and if U are not getting the happiness that u wanted anymore, instead of dying untimely.. just end it...
Wishing you all the best..
This is the best advice you will get, with all you have gone through, it justified to leave him. But let the court decide on the children or both parties comes to a mutual understanding

1 Like

Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by Executive729: 7:24am On Dec 18, 2022
franchasng:
Very emotional story, life, sighs cry



The UK study route is a good move to secure the future of your kids at least, but I doubt the proceeds from selling the car will be enough.



For a family of 3, it will cost you at least 13million with huge proof of funds to secure the visa.


You need to pay around 6million naira first installment for your school fees, are you aware? UK visa fee for you, your kids will gulp nothing less than 3million. Your flight tickets, your accommodation and settling down in UK, have you factored all these expenses?



I don't have a word for your husband, if what you described about him is the truth, you have really tried and deserve a better life free of more dramas and future uncertainties cry

I wish to add here it's very expensive task you can't embarked on without at least a partnership support, am a landlord in UK have a couple with a 8 years old girl living in one room in my house. They can only afford one room, no landlord in UK that will allow a couple with a child living in one room in their house, I only did because I knew someone that knew the man's auntie plus share the same tribe with him otherwise it's against the law to do that. Having said all that I am a father of 4 daughters in UK, so I think am in position to give you candid advise as I too don't want any of my daughter abused by anyone. I will only advise divorce on ground of abuse cause it can lead to murder as you have notice on social media lately. Have a final heart to heart discussions with your husband to immediately rule out physical abuse out of the family either against you or the children. Forget coming to UK on your own, it's untold hardship you can never comprehend from here your friends in UK will not take your calls as soon as you arrived in UK trust me. Aside from physical abused stay in your marriage, improve your your husband to be a better person, good luck.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by Bobbiee: 7:27am On Dec 18, 2022
If you want to divorce, divorce but don't deprive a father of his kids. Afterall, you're no saint. You were the first to have an affair.
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by lammagric(m): 7:27am On Dec 18, 2022
.....
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by Klass99(f): 7:27am On Dec 18, 2022
.

2 Likes

Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by FuckSilly: 7:35am On Dec 18, 2022
sisisioge:


Omo osi radarada
Akuku ibi sanse radarada
Omo ale jatijati
Idamu adugbo
Alaini ogbonlori
Asiwere olofo

Whew! I think I'm now done with you. Further mentions will be well disregarded.
Ọmọ ofo
Ọmọ aadanu
Ọmọ irankiran
Ọmọ alailẹkọ
Ho low Ree buruku ọmọ ofo ALAGBERE jatijati

Ooni sho rire
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by Financialman: 7:39am On Dec 18, 2022
RZArecta:
Fact of the matter is that in situations like this, it's better to hear from the other side also but if what you're saying is true, then there's just enough grounds for divorce which isn't even that big enough if both families get involved, he'll be forced to beg and you guys will reconcile talk less of running with the kids even with oluwole court divorce. Think this through very well
I pray thee o thou woman,take not this counsel,that's how my aunty was forced backi into the arms of an abusive husband after living singly for a while because the church wouldn't ordain a woman who was not with her husband,fastforward to 2019 this beast killed my aunty,the only thing was that she was addressed as late Deaconess what difference did that make,as for the man I haven't said anything at all but when I'm ready I'll come for him,the moment a man lays his hands on you,know this that he will never stop until you leave or you die
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by luluosas(m): 7:41am On Dec 18, 2022
But madam, I see pride and nothing more.
You think you have arrived and got better chances than him because you are now educated.

Anyway, it's your bed, lie on it the way you prepared it. But, I will warn you of this now: Divorce him and see yourself divorcing your SEVENTH HUSBAND TOO.
Take care
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by luluosas(m): 7:45am On Dec 18, 2022
You are kid
Financialman:

I pray thee o thou woman,take not this counsel,that's how my aunty was forced backi into the arms of an abusive husband after living singly for a while because the church wouldn't ordain a woman who was not with her husband,fastforward to 2019 this beast killed my aunty,the only thing was that she was addressed as late Deaconess what difference did that make,as for the man I haven't said anything at all but when I'm ready I'll come for him,the moment a man lays his hands on you,know this that he will never stop until you leave or you die
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by RZArecta(m): 7:50am On Dec 18, 2022
Financialman:

I pray thee o thou woman,take not this counsel,that's how my aunty was forced backi into the arms of an abusive husband after living singly for a while because the church wouldn't ordain a woman who was not with her husband,fastforward to 2019 this beast killed my aunty,the only thing was that she was addressed as late Deaconess what difference did that make,as for the man I haven't said anything at all but when I'm ready I'll come for him,the moment a man lays his hands on you,know this that he will never stop until you leave or you die
tell me one wrong thing I said there.

Listen to the other side

Family will have to get involved

Knowing our traditional African setting, they'll say the matter isn't deep enough for divorce so oko, beg your iyawo.


Difficulty of running away with the kids without husband's permission


Think this through very well.

What wrong advice did I give here ?

The only escape for her is an oluwole divorce judgement where she gets someone who pretends to be her husband during divorce proceedings and she gets all her wishes granted immediately if not, they'll ask for reconciliation and family will prevail on her to stay put one last time.

So I ask again, what wrong advice did I give ? Smh
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by HardMirror(m): 7:51am On Dec 18, 2022
Klass99:


What the hell? angry
What is this supposed to mean?

You think a woman can't read good books and materials or appreciate fine art when she sees it?

Dude you sound so chauvinistic and misogynistic, to knock your coconut head through my phone dey sweet me ehn, too bad I can't do it.
lol. It is not that o. Majority of your gender dey fall hand, if you are honest with yourself you know this is true. I know a lot of brilliant ladies but they are many others that careless about self development.
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by steeltrust: 7:55am On Dec 18, 2022
You can divorce him since your mind is made up but before then
Get your self a house
Because divorcing him won’t be easy and don’t let him know where your new house is
Then after the divorce plan your and your kids because for uk as a single mom
It will be difficult to cope with those kids all by your self and if you don’t take time govt fit take them from you for negligence cause normal you go work and love them, you can afford a nanny when you get there.

Best of luck as you begin this journey
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by Emaprince: 7:59am On Dec 18, 2022
Only bad thing I see here is that the man abused you physically...and thats unnacceptable. As for the cheating part, you cheated on him first and he forgave you..something most men won't even do. He probably took you back cos he was still hungry.

He picked you from the gutter and sponsored your education while neglecting his. You are giving us more reasons while men should think of lifting themselves first to be in a position where they will be the provider, rather than sacrificing and allowing their wives be at the top and be the bread winner? Cos it will end in regret.

If that guy is more richer than you, your story would have been different.
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by Slurity(m): 8:00am On Dec 18, 2022
piecuntie:
HI NAIRALANDERS ;
I am about to seperate from husband who sponsored me in school because I am fed up.

I came from a very poor family. I met my husband when I was 19. He wasn't doing well either, he told me he was an engineer in a public hospital but as time went on I got to know he was a level 3 plumber in the civil service.

Well I was young, naive, hungry and blindly in love. He went to trade school and I encouraged him to go back to school for HND or bsc but he said he was going to sponsor me first. I got pregnant for him in my first year in school when I was 20yrs old, my mom was against it. I got to know he was 13years older than me while pregnant. HE TOLD ME HE WAS 26yrs old.

My mom wanted me to abort it, instead i packed my things and stayed with him.
He abused my mom and I defended him. I gave birth while in school and he continued to support me both financially. We fought during those period, series of red flag but I decided to ignore it as long he wasn't beating me. He abused me emotionally. He knew my family was poor and there was no where i could go.

I finished school and my friends told me not to marry a plumber, I declined and told them he promised to go to school.

I finished school and i was scared of depending on him with my child, we were not doing fine at all.

I had no choice than to date a rich guy who helped me with a good job in the year 2017. HE got to know about the guy and i broke up with him. I apologized and we GOT MARRIED LEGALLY and got pregnant with my second child. We spent only 150k.

All the money i made from my salary, I made sure i supported him, i moved out of the family house in the year 2019, we have been there for 8yrs, he couldnt afford to rent a house, I spent 400k, both of us had no friends, we only had each other. I helped my brother and they did well in business. I asked my husband to go back to school, he was still adamant.

We went to a traditional person and they told him there is a curse on his head that i should bathe and do some sacrifice for him, which i did.

By year 2020 he was doing fine, we didn't even go hungry during the lockdown, I supported him with 2million naira and we did our traditional marriage.

IT was his business patners who were notorious cheat and neglected their wife that did his groom men, They introduced him to an association, i have asked him what is the aim of the association, he cant tell me, it is a secret.

3 months after the wedding, he started cheating and even beat me for the first time on our wedding anniversary becaus of the girl,
When he saw i withdrawed all financia assistant like paying half of the rent and paying one of the kids school fees. he called family members to beg me and we settled and i bought a family car for us to use.

Since then i have been walking on eggs around him, he tells me i should respect his age that we are not mate, he beat me again last 3 months saying i am as proud as my mother and i abused his mother back.

This monday i had to run after bus to go to work because i told im i was looking for mOney, and he said i just call him a thief. I had no money on me i had to call my brother to give me money. He wasnt even bothered. He doesn't call me again, WE DONT GO OUT AGAIN


I don't stress him for expensive outing our wigs or phone.
I bought my phone or trip myself out. He would rather hang out with his friends. He tells his friends and the kids i wear cheap outfits.

My mind is now strong. I don't cry again if he offends me nor complain.

I want to divorce him , sell the car and use it for this UK study route and take my children as dependent without him knowing. I am tired of the marriage already. He is 44 while I am 31. i want to move on with my life.

Sorry for the long write up
I just hope this is not coming from Mummy Ada that I know because this look like her story. However, since you did not write this to seek for advice, I will not say much. You are free to do all you have mentioned for the sake of your mental health, peace and safety, but that part of taking the children from him will be hard for you alone to decide. Let the divorce process take care of that. If it is possible to give him a last time of about just 3 months of silent and no trouble.He may come back to his sense.
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by 7arrows: 8:03am On Dec 18, 2022
piecuntie:
HI NAIRALANDERS ;
I am about to seperate from husband who sponsored me in school because I am fed up.

I came from a very poor family. I met my husband when I was 19. He wasn't doing well either, he told me he was an engineer in a public hospital but as time went on I got to know he was a level 3 plumber in the civil service.

Well I was young, naive, hungry and blindly in love. He went to trade school and I encouraged him to go back to school for HND or bsc but he said he was going to sponsor me first. I got pregnant for him in my first year in school when I was 20yrs old, my mom was against it. I got to know he was 13years older than me while pregnant. HE TOLD ME HE WAS 26yrs old.

My mom wanted me to abort it, instead i packed my things and stayed with him.
He abused my mom and I defended him. I gave birth while in school and he continued to support me both financially. We fought during those period, series of red flag but I decided to ignore it as long he wasn't beating me. He abused me emotionally. He knew my family was poor and there was no where i could go.

I finished school and my friends told me not to marry a plumber, I declined and told them he promised to go to school.

I finished school and i was scared of depending on him with my child, we were not doing fine at all.

I had no choice than to date a rich guy who helped me with a good job in the year 2017. HE got to know about the guy and i broke up with him. I apologized and we GOT MARRIED LEGALLY and got pregnant with my second child. We spent only 150k.

All the money i made from my salary, I made sure i supported him, i moved out of the family house in the year 2019, we have been there for 8yrs, he couldnt afford to rent a house, I spent 400k, both of us had no friends, we only had each other. I helped my brother and they did well in business. I asked my husband to go back to school, he was still adamant.

We went to a traditional person and they told him there is a curse on his head that i should bathe and do some sacrifice for him, which i did.

By year 2020 he was doing fine, we didn't even go hungry during the lockdown, I supported him with 2million naira and we did our traditional marriage.

IT was his business patners who were notorious cheat and neglected their wife that did his groom men, They introduced him to an association, i have asked him what is the aim of the association, he cant tell me, it is a secret.

3 months after the wedding, he started cheating and even beat me for the first time on our wedding anniversary becaus of the girl,
When he saw i withdrawed all financia assistant like paying half of the rent and paying one of the kids school fees. he called family members to beg me and we settled and i bought a family car for us to use.

Since then i have been walking on eggs around him, he tells me i should respect his age that we are not mate, he beat me again last 3 months saying i am as proud as my mother and i abused his mother back.

This monday i had to run after bus to go to work because i told im i was looking for mOney, and he said i just call him a thief. I had no money on me i had to call my brother to give me money. He wasnt even bothered. He doesn't call me again, WE DONT GO OUT AGAIN


I don't stress him for expensive outing our wigs or phone.
I bought my phone or trip myself out. He would rather hang out with his friends. He tells his friends and the kids i wear cheap outfits.

My mind is now strong. I don't cry again if he offends me nor complain.

I want to divorce him , sell the car and use it for this UK study route and take my children as dependent without him knowing. I am tired of the marriage already. He is 44 while I am 31. i want to move on with my life.

Sorry for the long write up

Do what makes u happy. But remember karma.
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by Suunnn(f): 8:05am On Dec 18, 2022
piecuntie:
HI NAIRALANDERS ;
I am about to seperate from husband who sponsored me in school because I am fed up.

I came from a very poor family. I met my husband when I was 19. He wasn't doing well either, he told me he was an engineer in a public hospital but as time went on I got to know he was a level 3 plumber in the civil service.

Well I was young, naive, hungry and blindly in love. He went to trade school and I encouraged him to go back to school for HND or bsc but he said he was going to sponsor me first. I got pregnant for him in my first year in school when I was 20yrs old, my mom was against it. I got to know he was 13years older than me while pregnant. HE TOLD ME HE WAS 26yrs old.

My mom wanted me to abort it, instead i packed my things and stayed with him.
He abused my mom and I defended him. I gave birth while in school and he continued to support me both financially. We fought during those period, series of red flag but I decided to ignore it as long he wasn't beating me. He abused me emotionally. He knew my family was poor and there was no where i could go.

I finished school and my friends told me not to marry a plumber, I declined and told them he promised to go to school.

I finished school and i was scared of depending on him with my child, we were not doing fine at all.

I had no choice than to date a rich guy who helped me with a good job in the year 2017. HE got to know about the guy and i broke up with him. I apologized and we GOT MARRIED LEGALLY and got pregnant with my second child. We spent only 150k.

All the money i made from my salary, I made sure i supported him, i moved out of the family house in the year 2019, we have been there for 8yrs, he couldnt afford to rent a house, I spent 400k, both of us had no friends, we only had each other. I helped my brother and they did well in business. I asked my husband to go back to school, he was still adamant.

We went to a traditional person and they told him there is a curse on his head that i should bathe and do some sacrifice for him, which i did.

By year 2020 he was doing fine, we didn't even go hungry during the lockdown, I supported him with 2million naira and we did our traditional marriage.

IT was his business patners who were notorious cheat and neglected their wife that did his groom men, They introduced him to an association, i have asked him what is the aim of the association, he cant tell me, it is a secret.

3 months after the wedding, he started cheating and even beat me for the first time on our wedding anniversary becaus of the girl,
When he saw i withdrawed all financia assistant like paying half of the rent and paying one of the kids school fees. he called family members to beg me and we settled and i bought a family car for us to use.

Since then i have been walking on eggs around him, he tells me i should respect his age that we are not mate, he beat me again last 3 months saying i am as proud as my mother and i abused his mother back.

This monday i had to run after bus to go to work because i told im i was looking for mOney, and he said i just call him a thief. I had no money on me i had to call my brother to give me money. He wasnt even bothered. He doesn't call me again, WE DONT GO OUT AGAIN


I don't stress him for expensive outing our wigs or phone.
I bought my phone or trip myself out. He would rather hang out with his friends. He tells his friends and the kids i wear cheap outfits.

My mind is now strong. I don't cry again if he offends me nor complain.

I want to divorce him , sell the car and use it for this UK study route and take my children as dependent without him knowing. I am tired of the marriage already. He is 44 while I am 31. i want to move on with my life.

Sorry for the long write up
I understand

Follow your heart and mind, tolerance while and when never appreciated call for immediate action
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by piecuntie: 8:07am On Dec 18, 2022
some people are saying i am proud and arrogant because i am now educated.
i got a job 2017 and i have been helping out since then.
His collagues at work calls us romeo and juliet , he keeps telling me that most of his friends abuse him for keeping to one woman for so long and tag her along with him to all events.It was after that we started having issues.

Even if i should endure his cheating like you are all saying, I have asked him what his plan was as he is approaching 50. He told me God is in control.

The same thing we have been doing for the past 10yrs. God wont come back down from heaven,if anything happens to me , how will he take care of the children when he doesnt want to improve himself financially.I am ready to sponsor his schooling but i cant endure a man that beats me.

I will definitely seperate from him, maybe that will ginger him to achieve more for himself, carrying girlfriend, sitting in a bar and drinking all day is not the best.

i gave him almost half a million this year and he spent it within 2 days.

see me i am tired.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by cococandy(f): 8:09am On Dec 18, 2022
hardon1:


Secondly, The man didn't saw her through school to be repaid. In my opinion, they should find a way to settle

This is kinda my point. If she’s talking strictly financial, then they are even. So of course it has to be something else because marriage is more than just money and who spent what.

They way it was elaborated in her title and story shows that it’s probably the main thing influencing her to stay. When it really shouldn’t be

2 Likes

Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by somegirl1: 8:13am On Dec 18, 2022
Leave now and don't look back.
Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by papae1(m): 8:14am On Dec 18, 2022
Richy4:
You can divorce him on grounds of Infidelity, assault and irreconcilable differences...

But where I will never support u will be nursing the idea of running off with the kids... U are not the only one that made the kids... It was a joint effort..

If reverse was the case and he took the kids and disappears..just search within your conscience if u will like it...I will suggest that u let the law decide on what happens to them...

As for divorcing him, you deserved to be happy and if U are not getting the happiness that u wanted anymore, instead of dying untimely.. just end it...
Wishing you all the best..
The ok
The plain truth

1 Like

Re: About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. by Olaolex: 8:18am On Dec 18, 2022
wizod:
and you still call yourself a human being.
No wonder you and your likes are supporting Tinubu
What is wrong with one? Why are you convulsing like this? What does Tinubu has to do with this story? Give me ten reasons why I will support a know drug lord. Lastly, please also aply your sense for typing rubbish on nairaland. And again, don't forget to return your mummy's phone and go back to reading your books.

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