NovusHomo:


Now its insults. Typical, when logic is too much to grasp. You schooled me . If only you knew! I told you already: white people create opportunities for themselves and their societies. Its nice to cite Obafemi Awolowo. Everybody does without putting his sayings in context. Awo was referring to the larger society and the role of leaders, especially political leaders. Apply that to parents (leaders in each household), and the implication is huge. Eventually, it is society that pays the price of their laziness and carelessness. Why not ask your "communal living" members to stop having children like rabbits. Tell them to come together and clean up all the unoccupied land in the neighborhoods to plant vegetables instead of whinnying about rising cost of food items? In places with better economies, people grow their own food as a hobby. Shouldn't that be a necessity to poorer economies? But they wont, they expect their uncles and aunties to give them money for food. How do you expect someone with two children to help someone with ten? What is going to remain for him to raise his own children? In the end, they drag you to their own level. Helping such folks eventually leads to your own poverty. I refuse to be made poor because of some family members who do not understand what life entails. It is the feeling of entitlement that you attempt to cloak in the garment of morality. I DO NOT CARE. Let each carry his own responsibility. Thank you teacher. I stop here. There is no need for you to respond.

Too much knowledge sir, I doubt u base in Nigeria, this is hardcore truth, but if take I microscopic view, the other guy is right at some point.
Literally, most relations don't want to help, even if it wouldn't take any thing from dem,
My brother I know a man, he was once a commissioner in inec, the man used his office to employ almost everybody in his village. This happened when I am in primary sch, did u know the man good deeds is still speaks for him still today. The man grand daughter recently got a job at inec by a man hu d granddad help DAT time.
My brother just take d tins of this world with lose hand. Help if u can, every body get dia own destiny, some ppl just need a push, not everybody will be knowledgeable like you.
From your write up, it is obvious u are educated and knowledgeable. At a point," too much knowledge can be foolishness".
I do admire did Socrates quotes "no evil can happen to a good person whether dead or alive" and "the true form of knowledge is knowing you know nothing".

Do you call your relatives to know how they are doing?

SPLENDID25:
YOU SEE, YOU CAN'T JUST SAY. MAY BE, THE MAN WAS NOT IN ANYWAY ASSISTED BY THE GIRL'S PARENT WHEN HE WAS STRUGGLING(I AM CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING THIS TOO, MY CLOSE RELATIVES DON'T EVEN CALL TO KNOW HOW I AM DOING IN SCHOOL, BUT WHAT WILL BE WILL BE, BY GOD'S GRACE). SOMEONE FROM OUTSIDE CARES. NOW, DO YOU THINK I WILL NOT HELP THE OUTSIDER TOMORROW(IF I AM IN THE POSITION TO)?. SHE SHOULD JUST BRACE UP AND TAKE HER HOPES OFF HIM, PUT IT ON GOD AS IT MAY NOT BE HER FAULT BUT HER PARENT'S.

Hmmmmmm
Ajumobi o kan taanu, eni Olorun ran sini loun se ni lo re. -Tope Alabi

sorepco:
Do you call your relatives to know how they are doing?

By Relatives, i Didn't distant but People I Left At Home for School you Get It(i Am Their Late Sister's Son). The Worst Is They Brag About You wherever They Find Themselves. Now, If Your Late Brother Or Sister's Son That stays With You Leaves For School, will You Be That Heartless Not To Call Him Or her For A Complete Session? Talk More Of Sending Him Or Her Money For Food items.

Well it isn't a new thing that why we pray to God to help us in one way or the other,she shouldn't depend on him and lets her focus more on whatever she is doing Las Las everywhere go stew

I've been saying it and I will keep saying it, no man owe you anything including your family members. It's not bad asking for help but if they refuse to help you good and fine, move on to the next person. Maybe her blessing will come from a stranger. And lastly learn to put your faith in God not man.

GIANTPLUSHUB:


I will advise her to let go of her entitlement mentality and seek for better ways to better her life rather than her uncle help cos I do not see it it happening for life. Her uncle isn't entitled to help her except God specifically send her uncle to help her

Not everything is entitlement mentality, its just a bit surprising that you will be in dire need of help and your family cant help you, when you know that they can. No man is an island.

NovusHomo:


No one owes you a living. Sort yourself out. That was what most of us did. Everyone wants their relatives to help them. They ask for help, all of them at the same time. What do you want those folks to do about their own children? If Nigerian parents know how to make many children, they should have a plan on how they want to raise those children. When you have ten children, you should stop bothering the man who chose to have only two. We all know how to have sex; some just control the urge, plan their family, or better still, plan ahead. Now, go back to watching BBNaija while your uncles and aunts keep making money.

God bless you for this.... this generation is full of entitlement mentality. The dont want to take responsibilities....Lazy youths

Vivov21e:
I will help who I wanna help or feel like helping

Stop with the self entitlement thing

if you cannot respect the bond of family

I hate to think of what that makes u

niel63:
I believe we are all created differently. To each it's own.

I have a sister who's been in the UK for 10years, married with 3 kids and yet she hasn't even sent toothbrush home not to talk of taking just any member of the family. (Common calls sef we no dey see..)
I see through her lies, I see through her deceptions but then, it's her life.

Life waits for no one... so, don't expect anything from anybody. Let your friend pick herself up and develop herself, she will find out that she really do not need him to press forward.
Na inside life na so expect anything. If I tell you the whole story, you go cry for me. But I moved on, I stood fast.
Anyone too can. E hard sha ooo

you are not being fair to your sister. 3 kids in Uk is a lot. She will clothe, feed no househelp, bills and rent on her head. Try and visit and see things for yourself.

lawrenzoo:
I do not know if you are a christian or not, but i want you to know that everything is for a purpose. You remember the story of Moses, pharaoh and isrealites? We were made to know that it was God that haddened the heart of pharoah which made him not to release the isrealites on time for a purpose.

When you have some people around you that you feel are capable of helping you and refuse to help, it is because you are relying on them and not God. God wants you to only rely on him, it is when we rely on God that he will be the one to choose whom will be of help to us and not the one we think.

I remembered when my wife had a breast lump and we needed money to add to what we have with us for surgery as advised by doctor, we approached 2 billionaires for just N150,000 for the operation, you will not believe that they turned down our request? We did not know that it was God that haddened their heart because he wanted us to rely on him for help. It was after we turned to God that we realised he did not want my wife to go through that surgery. The lump dissappeared miraculously without surgery.

Tell her not to bug the uncle but allow God to send her own helper by relying on God for the help she needs.

yea God is faithful. It happend to me as well.

ChiefS:
You have only heard from your friend and not his uncle. He who wears the shoe knows where it pinches. You may assume the uncle does not care but you do not know the amount he is paying monthly as loan. You don't know his relationship with the HR or management of the company you think he is in a position to offer employment. Let's stop this entitlement mentality. Let's learn to work hard and trust God who makes all things possible. Let's stop blaming others for our woes.

i think the uncle has the connections to help. He has helped outsiders.

jesmond3945:
you are not being fair to your sister. 3 kids in Uk is a lot. She will clothe, feed no househelp, bills and rent on her head. Try and visit and see things for yourself.

Hahaha..yeah! She owns a property in the UK... so tell me more about my own sister. Trust me, I am not ignorant of your mentions... but come on nau...

Na her life ooo bro.

But you no go dey somewhere for that long and be that quite with your siblings... omo, na 11 years plus.

What's the original point of having someone in obodo oyinbo sef.

[quote author=Shayron post=104440944]I have been on this forum for quite sometime, I have been a guest all this while but my friend is in desperate need of help so I figure out it would be better if I seek you guys opinion.

I have a friend who's uncle is a well to do man works in a big organization and can use is influence to secure jobs or loans for my freind.

My freind has been at his Mercy for quite some time now, she is very hard-working though but she has witnessed the man help those who ain't even family members secure jobs in great places.

This is someone she calls family and uncle. This is not the first time of seeing this, I have seen this quite a lot it's very common amongst our people here in the south.

My question is why do family members turn your backs on you even though they have the power to help you out of your current situation. Blood they say is Thicke than water if I can't help my cousin or nephew then why are we family. She has been begging this man, and this man clearly can work things out.
She has a work herself but it's not self sustaining coupled with the act that she has younger ones to look after.

I have told her to look elsewhere that sometimes our helpers are not close as we think? What kinda advie would you give her


Is sad in the bible that a rich man might not see the kingdom of God if you know you understand but God knows more and why he said that but she will get help this thing off worshipping rich people and forgetting God is another great problem

niel63:


Hahaha..yeah! She owns a property in the UK... so tell me more about my own sister. Trust me, I am not ignorant of your mentions... but come on nau...

Na her life ooo bro.

But you no go dey somewhere for that long and be that quite with your siblings... omo, na 11 years plus.

What's the original point of having someone in obodo oyinbo sef.

You mean property on mortgage? Lol
I think she needs to invite you, by the time you see how she lives, you would kneel down and beg her.
Let me tell you somethings, uk is a leveller. What it means is that opportunities are made available to you by the state even as a poor man. You can buy a house, drive a car, wear good clothes even as a poor man. Just be productive and have good credit. Ask her whether her house is mortgage, she would be paying for it every month for 25 years.

jesmond3945:

You mean property on mortgage? Lol
I think she needs to invite you, by the time you see how she lives, you would kneel down and beg her.
Let me tell you somethings, uk is a leveller. What it means is that opportunities are made available to you by the state even as a poor man. You can buy a house, drive a car, wear good clothes even as a poor man. Just be productive and have good credit. Ask her whether her house is mortgage, she would be paying for it every month for 25 years.

You seem to know her more than I do. I called someone my sister and you're talking about UK doing this and that.

I really do understand you and I know how the British and American system works bro!
I've worked with people in both countries... I know how rigged and unfair the system is... but truth is, she's my sister.
Also, pray... church people no turn your own to your enemy in the name of praying to God. Things are happening ooo! Make we no begin wash our dirty linen for outside. I have seen things.

Btw: na me like all your comments. I am a software developer and I'm open to gigs. If you have any.

OP SOME FAMILIES RE JUST LIKE THAT,THEY HELP PEOPLE OUTSIDE THAN THIER OWN PEOPLE

DONT KNOW WHY

We AV EVEN SEE BROTHER NOT HELPING IS OWN BLOOD BRODA,LET ME NOT EVEN TALK ABOUT UNCLES FROM FATHER SIDE THEY RE THE WORST EVER.

MOTHER SIDE DEY EVEN TRY

niel63:



You seem to know her more than I do. I called someone my sister and you're talking about UK doing this and that.

I really do understand you and I know how the British and American system works bro!
I've worked with people in both countries... I know how rigged and unfair the system is... but truth is, she's my sister.
Also, pray... church people no turn your own to your enemy in the name of praying to God. Things are happening ooo! Make we no begin wash our dirty linen for outside. I have seen things.

Btw: na me like all your comments. I am a software developer and I'm open to gigs. If you have any.

thats nice whats your stack?

benqo01:
We AV EVEN SEE BROTHER NOT HELPING IS OWN BLOOD BRODA,LET ME NOT EVEN TALK ABOUT UNCLES FROM FATHER SIDE THEY RE THE WORST EVER.

MOTHER SIDE DEY EVEN TRY

it seems is a normal thing but it dosent make sense at all.

jesmond3945:
thats nice whats your stack?

A Fullstack. Frontend, Backend and everything between.

niel63:


A Fullstack. Frontend, Backend and everything between.

i mean technologies you are using

niel63:
I believe we are all created differently. To each it's own.

I have a sister who's been in the UK for 10years, married with 3 kids and yet she hasn't even sent toothbrush home not to talk of taking just any member of the family. (Common calls sef we no dey see..)
I see through her lies, I see through her deceptions but then, it's her life.

Life waits for no one... so, don't expect anything from anybody. Let your friend pick herself up and develop herself, she will find out that she really do not need him to press forward.
Na inside life na so expect anything. If I tell you the whole story, you go cry for me. But I moved on, I stood fast.
Anyone too can. E hard sha ooo

What was the last gift you gave her kids? sent them money? Amazon gift cards, birthday cards, Christmas toys or at least sent them lies that you will send them gifts..... anything at all that you have done for those 3 kids??

Something to show your sister an example of how to treat family!!

What have you done for her 3 kids..... use NL as your foolscap sheet... Oya o?

Ybaby:



What was the last gift you gave her kids? sent them money? Amazon gift cards, birthday cards, Christmas toys or at least sent them lies that you will send them gifts..... anything at all that you have done for those 3 kids??

Something to show your sister an example of how to treat family!!

What have you done for her 3 kids..... use NL as your foolscap sheet... Oya o?

Lol... why are you taking these things so personal. I should take the whole of nairaland as foolscap

Over someone's else life? Wetin concern agbero with overload.

Like I said, this is a family and trust me, they all find ways to mend their differences... but as for people like you telling me to start yelling this and that, when I've already answered someone that it's not wise for one to wash their dirty linen outside. Omo, I no con dey understand una again ooo!

Make I leave work wey i dey do, begin explain things...

No naaaaa

niel63:


Lol... why are you taking these things so personal. I should take the whole of nairaland as foolscap

Over someone's else life? Wetin concern agbero with overload.

Like I said, this is a family and trust me, they all find ways to mend their differences... but as for people like you telling me to start yelling this and that, when I've already answered someone that it's not wise for one to wash their dirty linen outside. Omo, I no con dey understand una again ooo!

Make I leave work wey i dey do, begin explain things...

No naaaaa

You bought them nothing

Ybaby:


You bought them nothing

You're just sooo smart. Aren't you?

slawormiir:
Damnnn niggar
Just normal for Africans


They don't want to help their loved ones

Not knowing that the easiest way to become a Billionaire is to ensure that you help people around you to become a millionaire first....

And I have noticed something...it seems the uncles from our mother side are more caring and assisting than those moda fuckkking uncles from our fathers family .....and the most annoying thing is that we always share the same ancestral surname with those fuckkking uncles from the fathers family....still they will not be willing to help

So op...if that your friend's uncle is from the father's family....your friend should not rely on him...
Anyway....what do I know....am just a weed smoker, a pussy banger and a drunkard

That's a stereotype.

I have a lot of caring uncles from my father's side. I can even say the uncles from my father's side, are more caring than the ones from the mother's side.

They're not acting, they really don't care.


It's a pointer for you to strive to become better in all facets of your life.

Boss up! OR remain irrelevant!

Legendrysailor:


. Ur are on point bro, uncles from d paternal side are heartless and mean

Fallacy of Hasty Generalization.

ChiefS:
You have only heard from your friend and not his uncle. He who wears the shoe knows where it pinches. You may assume the uncle does not care but you do not know the amount he is paying monthly as loan. You don't know his relationship with the HR or management of the company you think he is in a position to offer employment. Let's stop this entitlement mentality. Let's learn to work hard and trust God who makes all things possible. Let's stop blaming others for our woes.

Gbam!

annayawchee:
Harsh reality.

Felt same way too but to be frank??
I made peace with the fact that not everyone have the spirit of assisting...

I practically live this life like an orphan.

Gaskia

The bolded is what many people fail and are failing to understand.

It's not everyone that has the spirit of giving/mindest of rendering assistance.

When you've come to this realization, you'll live life with zero expectations from nobody.

AK481:

Everybody is an uncle to both the mother side and the father side,unless he is the only child,boy or girl

I tire o

The same man that's an uncle to you in the father's side, is also an uncle from the mother's side to another person.

What they're implying is that, their uncle is a chameleon, switching between two personalities.

So much for logic

LMAO!