Rechargeam247:
Scenario:

Creative solutions asides sex or money should be proferred

Married men and women only*

It is you I have issues with Sir
You are very funny
Why are you exempting sex & financial control?
Someone has called out war on you & you are still acting funny!
Or you didn't know submission on the part of the woman & duty to care, protect & provide on the part of the man are the basic elements for successful marriage

At the 2nd bolded, is it only married folks who can give counsel?
Don't catholic priests intervene in marital & domestic conflicts?
You are not open-minded enough

How you'd treat this kind of case depends on the personality of your wife & how much value she places on your union
Pronto
If she values the marriage & your intimacy, then communicate strongly you are livid. Don't pick her calls as she is in that place she went to & neither call her back. Don't go & carry her from the park. Don't return her texts.
If she reasonably & remorseful seeks explanation when she's back, you can communicate verbally & resolve it.
If she care less, follow your heart

Dimples2022:


I’m not married but I’d think withdrawal of the D will help me apologise but my legs won’t let him rest

Honestly from today henceforth, you gained a new fan!!!!

Larrycool1234:



Honestly from today henceforth, you gained a new fan!!!!

Tifiakwa

-The youngest of my wives tried it once for a burial, during the early part of our marriage, so I gave her the silence treatment for a month and the following month I announced to the house that she is no longer my wife but my partner.

-During the announcement I had a prepared document of the house bills for a month which I handed over to her. In the document, it stated that she is now responsible for half of the monthly bills and charges, which she will receive monthly and expected to pay to a noted account on or before due date of 5th of the following month.

-As expected she pleaded for me to forgive and forget. But I insisted since I had already made the pronouncement she would have to assume that responsibility and we will revisit the plan after 3 months.

-After that incident, the hierarchy was re-established and there is relative peace since then, except my threat to marry my third wife if economy improves.

Rechargeam247:
Scenario:

You have a good marriage, you pamper and take care of your wife, family and responsibilities.

On this particular day, your wife wanted to travel for an event, you asked her not to go for this particular event, kindly note, she is very social and travels a lot, you allow her, give her the freedom she needs.

Now, she ignored you and travelled, what can you do to express your displeasure, get her to apologise and avoid a repetition of such?

Creative solutions asides sex or money should be proferred

Married men and women only*

To the women, if you were the woman in this scenario, what can your husband do to get you to apologise and make you not repeat such?

..
Abeg leave creative ways of expressing your displeasure, from the little information you fitted us with you have been giving her this kind of freedom and pampering from the onset.
Please correct me if am wrong she's has almost as much financial muscle as you do plus she runs your family's day to day with you playing financier.

' And she travels a lot ', you said . My brother you have lost leadership,you are the under dog in this battle . Brace your self , take one for the team as always.

Vinnie2000:


BEST ADVICE/COMMENT of All.

OP, Come and Learn from this Guy/Lady..

Marriage is all about COMMUNICATION. You as a Couple sit down and Thrash out Differences.

Some Ladies Here are Talking about Silent Treatment..
while some Guys are talking about ORDERS as if their Marriage is a Police Station or Military Cantonment!

Most Likely, you aren't married

Thats a textbook advice, I tell you.

I don't get it.. where did I mention sex

jimmychang:


A wife that disrespect the husband,you think she will allow him to even touch her.Are you sure you are a woman.Everything is sex to you.Ask him when last he had sex with his wife,I am not sure it is up to 4 times last year. .

Woman wey dey disrespect her husband.Sexc with him will be disgusting and she is finding it somewhere

InfinityFabric:
Stupid is a man who allows their women to travel alone. Even going around the town na wahala.
10, 20 years later, they'll crying on twitter that the children is not his.

Solution: Before she comes back put her belongings outside, then marry another. DON'T NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS!

You are so OLD FASHIONED and NARROW MINDED,Bro.

Its ur Type that Locks their Wives inside House and Bans them from Using Android Phones.

A Female Colleague Just Quit in our Company because her Husband did Not like her Mingling with Males..
Now She is Complaining of being Broke all the Time.

If You as a Man Treat ur Wife Well and you Fcvk her well in Bedroom, She will NEVER cheat.

Change ur Archaic Mentality, Bro!

Take what

President2001:

Can you take it as a woman

Samantha123:
I don't get it.. where did I mention sex

You think I am your younger brother? Lol

My wife and I always take decisions collectively,we decide on what is good for both and the entire family.

What are you talking about

jimmychang:



You think I am your younger brother? Lol

jimmychang:



You are the fool bro.The senseless bro who think he is modern or wise but will never realise why our ancestors locked their wives inside.I bet you haven't been in a serious relationship all your life.The same white people you are copying,go to reddit and see the white men suffer for this same freedom

Give your wife too much freedom and watch her give into her temptations and blame it on you.If you can't control your woman or curb her excesses you go see shege.

Bleep her well in the bedroom as If say na you Bleep pass for the whole world.

khalids:


And what if her parents self no send you....

You leave her there
She will be ashame of her life staying there when she becomes a burden to them

Samantha123:
I'm not a man and I'm definitely not married, but as a woman, I think the man should give her silent treatment and pretend that she's not even present in the house.

Eat out and come home only to sleep until she acknowledges her wrongs.

And I think that it'll also depends on the kind of event she went to.

Good thing you said you are not married. This works during dating period not in marriage, trust me. For some women, once you do this, you just released brimstone and hell.

The wife of op to have this kind of effortenry means the fight have a higher degree of violence which she is ready for. The moment op does anything that aligns to her expectations, she will now flare up because she had planned this for a while.

Rechargeam247:
Creative solutions asides sex or money should be proferred

Married men and women only*

To the women, if you were the woman in this scenario, what can your husband do to get you to apologise and make you not repeat such?

To the op, I advice you to act as if not happens but first just tell her straight up, prior to her coming back that you are definitely disappointed in her (not with quarrelsome voice ni, just feign indifferent).

Let me use this story to buttress my point. A married man discovered that the four kids birthed in his house are not his after DNA test, he didn't shout at the wife or did any harm, rather he pleaded that the woman should not tell anyone about the situation since he has accepted the kids as his and have bonds with them. Few days later, the story was known in the neighbourhood...how? The woman was scared to the teeth and went to an older woman to tell her the secret; reason was that she is scared that the man was upto something sinister for him to act cool in the midst of this scam.

Now this works for me on my wife...I will definitely act cool, even become more romantic, do stuffs I have long stop doing..as in she will be trying to understand my moves which I keep multiplying with reverse psychology. However, I will be firm and regiment most of her moves. The apologies will just follow and I will still feign nothing has been wrong. If she brings up the topic, I will shove it and say not ready for it now since we are cool.

Vinnie2000:


You are so OLD FASHIONED and NARROW MINDED,Bro.

Its ur Type that Locks their Wives inside House and Bans them from Using Android Phones.

A Female Colleague Just Quit in our Company because her Husband did Not like her Mingling with Males..
Now She is Complaining of being Broke all the Time.

If You as a Man Treat ur Wife Well and you Fcvk her well in Bedroom, She will NEVER cheat.

Change ur Archaic Mentality, Bro!

You are the fool bro.The senseless bro who think he is modern or wise but will never realise why our ancestors locked their wives inside.I bet you haven't been in a serious relationship all your life.The same white people you are copying,go to reddit and see the white men suffer for this same freedom

Give your wife too much freedom and watch her give into her temptations and blame it on you.If you can't control your woman or curb her excesses you go see shege.

Bleep her well in the bedroom as If say na you Bleep pass for the whole world.

incogni2o:


Most Likely, you aren't married

Thats a textbook advice, I tell you.

Yeah, You are Right That Its a Textbook Advice..

But in Reality, It can be put to Practice!

No Matter how Angry you are, You should be Able to call for a Sit-together and Tell ur Wife in Clear Terms things you Like and Things you dont Like..

But It seems Africans are Afraid of or Incapable of COMMUNICATING PROPERLY.

That's Why many CANNOT Give their Children Sex Education! They Just Dish out Warnings and Threats!
Or Adopt Unproductive measures or Terror Tactics, as Some are Doing with this Particular issues.

inspirator1:


Good thing you said you are not married. This works during dating period not in marriage, trust me. For some women, once you do this, you just released brimstone and hell.

The wife of op to have this kind of effortenry means the fight have a higher degree of violence which she is ready for. The moment op does anything that aligns to her expectations, she will now flare up because she had planned this for a while.

To the op, I advice you to act as if not happens but first just tell her straight up, prior to her coming back that you are definitely disappointed in her (not with quarrelsome voice ni, just feign indifferent).

Let me use this story to buttress my point. A married man discovered that the four kids birthed in his house are not his after DNA test, he didn't shout at the wife or did any harm, rather he pleaded that the woman should not tell anyone about the situation since he has accepted the kids as his and have bonds with them. Few days later, the story was known in the neighbourhood...how? The woman was scared to the teeth and went to an older woman to tell her the secret; reason was that she is scared that the man was upto something sinister for him to act cool in the midst of this scam.

Now this works for me on my wife...I will definitely act cool, even become more romantic, do stuffs I have long stop doing..as in she will be trying to understand my moves which I keep multiplying with reverse psychology. However, I will be firm and regiment most of her moves. The apologies will just follow and I will still feign nothing has been wrong. If she brings up the topic, I will shove it and say not ready for it now since we are cool.

This is true happened to me with a female friend.She was expecting me to shout and stuff.I just walked away.She later called me to apologise and said she was amazed at my maturity.

But I was planning my revenge sha.I am at worst anger when I am silent.

Samantha123:
And how will giving his wife silent treatment affect the kids when the both of them will be talking to them

He/she is right , it will affect the kids. On a norm the family is always playing and gisting n talking together, then because u want to give her silent treatment, when she's involved with the kids, u have to withdraw.
The right and best thing is to communicate about it and make up. You will be depriving yourself and exposing yourself with silent treatment.

frozen70:


NEXT time you catch her in any stupid act that is near to infidelity, take her home to her parents with your children

Tell them to train her how to be faithful and loyal, if they ask you what happen, tell them to ask her to explain

You will be sending allowance and if possible let the children start schooling there

Try this during holidays so that by the time she spent the holidays with her parents and you did not come for your children, her parents will know that it's no longer a joke

If her parents calls you, pick their call, listen to them ans if they invite you, tell them you will let them know when you are ready, that for now you need peace

By the time she sees that you are not responding her head will reset properly

Then by the time she comes back, let her have something doing
Either teaching or anything that will bring income to her, then let her face one responsibility at home, maybe children provision or whatever

By that time she will be busy with thinking on how to carry out her task

There is no time to tolerate nonsense

Please if she is from Kenya and you Nigerian can you boldly take those children back to Kenya and your wife ?
How would you feel if she doesn't come back with your kids?

Samantha123:
What are you talking about

Stale,I will pass.

Father254:


Please if she is from Kenya and you Nigerian can you boldly take those children back to Kenya and your wife ?
How would you feel if she doesn't come back with your kids?

In a situation like that he has to bear the situation in whatever ways it comes out while living with her

Samantha123:
I'm not a man and I'm definitely not married, but as a woman, I think the man should give her silent treatment and pretend that she's not even present in the house.

Eat out and come home only to sleep until she acknowledges her wrongs.

And I think that it'll also depends on the kind of event she went to.

Hahahaha.
Well said.
It also seams exactly what my kinda person will likely do withouts asking questions on Nairaland. I don't like problems

Samantha123:
I'm not a man and I'm definitely not married, but as a woman, I think the man should give her silent treatment and pretend that she's not even present in the house.

Eat out and come home only to sleep until she acknowledges her wrongs.

And I think that it'll also depends on the kind of event she went to.

Only if you know the implications of such childish behaviour. May your type never near my offsprings.

frozen70:


Ok naw
Endure it

There is a saying in Yoruba, that when a woman has been long in her marriage ie in her husband's house, esp having given birth to children making success of their ongoing tertiary education or already living by themselves and earning pays esp if she already has grandchildren, she becomes a formidable 'institution' to be reckoned with in the marriage..same level with a witch or a small deity.
Best way, from personal experience, to handle the situation is to have a dialogue with her about your feelings regarding the episode and similar ones, also mention your misgivings to her in presence of the children if that are above 20yrs. The combination of these will help her to recalibrate but you also must be ready to be held to same standard. Otherwise, you may find yourself a lonely old man, barely tolerated in your own home.

Samantha123:
I'm not a man and I'm definitely not married, but as a woman, I think the man should give her silent treatment and pretend that she's not even present in the house.

Eat out and come home only to sleep until she acknowledges her wrongs.

And I think that it'll also depends on the kind of event she went to.

Silent treatment is childish.

Worst advice ever.

Rechargeam247:
Scenario:

You have a good marriage, you pamper and take care of your wife, family and responsibilities.

On this particular day, your wife wanted to travel for an event, you asked her not to go for this particular event, kindly note, she is very social and travels a lot, you allow her, give her the freedom she needs.

Now, she ignored you and travelled, what can you do to express your displeasure, get her to apologise and avoid a repetition of such?

Creative solutions asides sex or money should be proferred

Married men and women only*

To the women, if you were the woman in this scenario, what can your husband do to get you to apologise and make you not repeat such?

You mean she just woke up and said she wants to travel?
Didn't you guys date? Are there no boundaries in the union?
Imagine Obi Cuban's wife waking up on a Saturday morning only to inform him that she is going to Enugu for a social event not family related/ an emergency and he tells her not to yet she insists and follows through. Is that even possible?
Guys use your time and hands productively, e get why.

It's only a sterile man that'll accept the kids as his even after finding out that all four of them are not biologically his to a point that he even begged her not to tell anyone because deep down he knew that the lady covered his shame by having another man do what he can't do.

And I didn't know Nigerian men can be romantic.. .. Tell me more about it, how will you be romantic?

inspirator1:


Good thing you said you are not married. This works during dating period not in marriage, trust me. For some women, once you do this, you just released brimstone and hell.

The wife of op to have this kind of effortenry means the fight have a higher degree of violence which she is ready for. The moment op does anything that aligns to her expectations, she will now flare up because she had planned this for a while.


To the op, I advice you to act as if not happens but first just tell her straight up, prior to her coming back that you are definitely disappointed in her (not with quarrelsome voice ni, just feign indifferent).

Let me use this story to buttress my point. A married man discovered that the four kids birthed in his house are not his after DNA test, he didn't shout at the wife or did any harm, rather he pleaded that the woman should not tell anyone about the situation since he has accepted the kids as his and have bonds with them. Few days later, the story was known in the neighbourhood...how? The woman was scared to the teeth and went to an older woman to tell her the secret; reason was that she is scared that the man was upto something sinister for him to act cool in the midst of this scam.

Now this works for me on my wife...I will definitely act cool, even become more romantic, do stuffs I have long stop doing..as in she will be trying to understand my moves which I keep multiplying with reverse psychology. However, I will be firm and regiment most of her moves. The apologies will just follow and I will still feign nothing has been wrong. If she brings up the topic, I will shove it and say not ready for it now since we are cool.

To men in the house, stop using silence treatment, sex, money and eating outside as yardstick to correct your wife.

For silence treatment, she easily engross in social media and meet new men.

Don't use sex, she can easily think negative and begin to have it outside.

For money, don't use it, the moment she know how to get cash, she dustbin you

Eating out? is not good, most ladies now will eat food you huzzle to buy and eats best of it in your house.

Solution: sit her down and talk to her

Hathor5:


Tell her why you didn't want her to travel to this particular event. Is it that you feel that you need to spend more time together, that you need her support, that you have an appointment yourself or whatever your reason is?

If she is reasonable, and your reason is, I don't see why you should not reach an understanding.

Sensible advice. A woman is not your wife for you to control. I believe that is where the problem is.

Op should communicate well and express why he did not want her to go.

If you knew she was social before marrying her and think you will tame her in marriage, you are very wrong.

She is an adult who can decide to disobey you, whether that’s biblical is another thing entirely.

Then give yoyu own advice that's more matured.

justlovesfarmin:


Silent treatment is childish.

Worst advice ever.

Acting cool when the other person annoys you, is good at upsetting their plans. I react only when I want to get more viles revealed through you, if not

Presently my Director acted wrongly to me, he expected my other reactions rather I feign like I am not in the known and nothing happened. Every minute the man keeps asking me, "What did I do wrong?". I will reply "Sir please, I do not really understand" , accompanied with a good smile. The man go just weak, walka enter office. I recently japa from duty; out of the blues I asked for unofficial leave even when leave calendar never start , he granted it o

jimmychang:



This is true happened to me with a female friend.She was expecting me to shout and stuff.I just walked away.She later called me to apologise and said she was amazed at my maturity.

But I was planning my revenge sha.I am at worst anger when I am silent.

Samantha123:
And how will giving his wife silent treatment affect the kids when the both of them will be talking to them

You see why the op asked for married people’s advice only.

You should have left this discussion to the right people.