I just saw a thread where a man is seeking advice from nairalanders and I see some bittered guys trying to destroy someone's marriage.

https://www.nairaland.com/7515822/suspect-wife

There is no crime in sharing piece of advice but because a lady acknowledge she miss an old school mate doesn't prove she's promiscuous.

Infact the mentality majority people have concerning marriage really shows why many ladies and guys end up as sadist after getting married or after divorce.

Some one gave an instance using his wife as a good example, some people who don't even have healthy relationship are critizing another person as a "simp" just imagine

This is one of the best advice sofar from the first page comments in that thread

spice123:

My brother, I hardly comment on issues on this simply because of wrong perception but I will share my own experience.
My wife chats with her ex from time to time which I am fully aware right from the time we started dating till we married (her ex is married now). I've equally had a WhatsApp call with the guy in one or two occasions (friendly talk). I've come to build some rapour with him.
When this guy came to Naija I and my lovely wife went together to visit him. You see eh, everything in marriage is maturity. As it is we're planning vacation to the States sponsored by this guy. I'm a PROUD SIMP but I'm still in control.
With the way you're going with full blown Alpha male attitude, you will loose your wife. Thread carefully!

I've heard similar story also. Our head of IT once told us about the lady he wanted to get married too in his undergraduate days but couldn't because he was sure his parent wanted him to do masters while her own parent wanted her to get married quick.

So they ended the relationship, she got married and traveled out, my formal boss did his masters and is doing well also, he has traveled to many countries.
He and his first love are friends, he's married and she's married.

She introduced him to her husband, the day she and her husband came to Nigeria her husband ask my boss and his wife to go out together for a while.
They went and returned.

He's currently helping them to do some stuff in Nigeria. Some people don't understand that it's not everyone that has this sick mentality of wanting to fornicate and every giving opportunity even if it's with a married person.

For some time now I have reading very old threads here. Some before 2010


Going through the quality of conversations and levels of interaction filled with empathy, deep

respect, clear headed and well thought out advices then it dawned on me how things have deteriorated here.


Many badly raised, love- lorn, emotionally and psychologically damaged social mis- fits on here.


It's sad !

tollyboy5:
This is one of the best advice sofar from the first page comments in that thread

You're the only smart and mature person in this thread so far. Many men these days (married) are unintelligent. Marriage is all about openness. No secrecy. The day you start finding out things that normally should be open to all, then prepare for calamity or divorce. The OP will soon get high blood pressure if care is not taken.

tollyboy5:
I just saw a thread where a man is seeking advice from nairalanders and I see some bittered guys trying to destroy someone's marriage.

https://www.nairaland.com/7515822/suspect-wife

There is no crime in sharing piece of advice but because a lady acknowledge she miss an old school mate doesn't prove she's promiscuous.

Infact the mentality majority people have concerning marriage really shows why many ladies and guys end up as sadist after getting married or after divorce.

Some one gave an instance using his wife as a good example, some people who don't even have healthy relationship are critizing another person as a "simp" just imagine

Funny enough, I'm a marriage counsellor. This is a faceless forum so I was just enjoying the rant. I saved my wife's ex boyfriend's marriage from crashing and we're getting a treat for that. You know what it is to face divorce in the U.S?

Guys.... don't start acting as if you are the only one who's smart.....


People see things differently...forget about red pill....

That guys statement sounds stupid to a lot of people....and pls don't pretend to not know why... everybody is not redpill....some people don't even know what it means

Fine, the ex might be of help but guy... anything can still happen that will spoil the whole fun at the end of the day...na today?

If you want to help the couple as the ex of one of them....fine you can ...but the relationship should not be too close.....you dey follow my wife chat privately....her ex.... that's too big a risk

Sometimes, maturity doesn't work ....you just have to flee from somethings to avoid stories....


Ex is different from Ex ooo....

If you meet some ex....your marriage go feel am...

If your wife relationship with her ex was platonic...fine It can still work ....but if it was a romantic one and one which involved, rigorous nacking..omooo ...old feelings go show up again...

doggedfighter:
For some time now I have reading very old threads here. Some before 2010


Going through the quality of conversations and levels of interaction filled with empathy, deep

respect, clear headed and well thought out advices then it dawned on me how things have deteriorated here.


Many badly raised, love- lorn, emotionally and psychologically damaged social mis- fits on here.


It's sad !

In plain English...many people without sense disguising like they have

This another thread, where a misguided husband is abusing his wife verbally and yet still feeling like he has authority to do and undo.

Thank God the lady is from a sane family. I see some people typing trash on that thread.
No sane father will allow his daughter to be abused by an unrepentant 1diot.

https://www.nairaland.com/7519316/depressed


Elders like Kobojunkie has dropped the best advice. Now it's left for the tempered husband to heed to such advice.

I don't believe people talking about anger issues as an excuse to misbehave.

If you have a good character and good moral upbringing your anger issues won't be noticed at all.

I also have anger issues but, from my childhood, I was thought to always briddle my tongue.
Verbal abuse is what I refrain myself from doing. I'm not married but I've seen alot of reason marriage fails.

You know the world has gone so bad that when people hear ex, they assume they were having sex in the course of the relationship, reasons why a simple 'I miss you' starts sounding like 'I miss having sex with you'

Reason I advise people, ladies especially, avoid sex while courting, asides honouring God and your body which is God's temple, it helps you make decisions with a clear head, see red flags where available and easily untangle if it doesn't lead to marriage. Sorry to digress

faithfull18:
You know the world has gone so bad that when people hear ex, they assume they were having sex in the course of the relationship, reasons why a simple 'I miss you' starts sounding like 'I miss having sex with you'

Reasons I advise people, ladies especially, avoid sex while courting, asides honouring God, it helps make decisions with a clear head, see red flags where available and easily untangle if it doesn't lead to marriage. Sorry to digress

Most of us grew up with the understanding of avoiding premarital sex. I see premarital sex as a great offence not until society changed my view lol.

In some gathering you'll be ashamed not to have any sexual experience at some certain age.
So I later believe sex is important in every relationship.

But at this stage of my life, everyone should just do what they believe in. But multiple sexual partners before marriage is big red flag.

A lady should not have more than three separate person she has had sexual intercourse with.
If it's beyond three before her marriage then she has a problem.
Guys should always respect ladies of value also.

Not everything should be sex. What I value most in a lady is her way of interaction and being conversant with basic topics.
A relationship built from reasonable friendship not all this shake bum, caro white beauty with no brain, both husband wife.

God help us.

tollyboy5:

Most of us grew up with the understanding of avoiding premarital sex. I see premarital sex as a great offence not until society changed my view lol.

In some gathering you'll be ashamed not to have any sexual experience at some certain age.
So I later believe sex is important in every relationship.

But at this stage of my life, everyone should just do what they believe in. But multiple sexual partners before marriage is big red flag.

A lady should not have more than three separate person she has had sexual intercourse with.
If it's beyond three before her marriage then she has a problem.
Guys should always respect ladies of value also.

Not everything should be sex. What I value most in a lady is her way of interaction and being conversant with basic topics.
A relationship built from reasonable friendship not all this shake bum, caro white beauty with no brain, both husband wife.

God help us.

Well, God's words stands no matter what is happening in the world, no matter what society says.

faithfull18:

Well, God's words stands no matter what is happening in the world, no matter what society says.

I use the word "God" just to pacify, I don't believe any God being said anything.
I live by moral standard and not religious standard.

tollyboy5:

I use the word "God" just to pacify, I don't believe any God being said anything.
I live by moral standard and not religious standard.

Oh, an atheist, what makes you think good is good and bad is bad? Well, I am pretty sure, you grew up in a religious setting and that helped form your sense of moral standards.

faithfull18:

Oh, an atheist, what makes you think good is good and bad is bad? Well, I am pretty sure, you grew up in a religious setting and that helped form your sense of moral standards.

Morality is not a direct causality from religion.
Non religious people still have morals steming from common sense and conscience

odinson1:


Morality is not a direct causality from religion.
Non religious people still have morals steming from common sense and conscience

Well, I am yet to see anyone who didn't have any form of exposure to religion from babyhood. So, how do we validate your point?

Besides, Christianity is a way of life not a religion but for this context, let's use it as that.

faithfull18:

Well, I am yet to see anyone who didn't have any form of exposure to religion from babyhood. So, how do we validate your point?

Besides, Christianity is a way of life not a religion but for this context, let's use it as that.

There are thousands of people in the world from atheist parental background. Even popular people.
It doesn't deprive them from being upright.

faithfull18:

Well, I am yet to see anyone who didn't have any form of exposure to religion from babyhood. So, how do we validate your point?

Besides, Christianity is a way of life not a religion but for this context, let's use it as that.

Go outside Nigeria and you'll see a lot of them in countries like china,japan,korea, Switzerland,russia etc. The world does not revolve around Nigeria.

Christianity is 1000 percent a religion,what are you talking about?

tollyboy5:
I've heard similar story also. Our head of IT once told us about the lady he wanted to get married too in his undergraduate days but couldn't because he was sure his parent wanted him to do masters while her own parent wanted her to get married quick.

So they ended the relationship, she got married and traveled out, my formal boss did his masters and is doing well also, he has traveled to many countries.
He and his first love are friends, he's married and she's married.

She introduced him to her husband, the day she and her husband came to Nigeria her husband ask my boss and his wife to go out together for a while.
They went and returned.

He's currently helping them to do some stuff in Nigeria. Some people don't understand that it's not everyone that has this sick mentality of wanting to fornicate and every giving opportunity even if it's with a married person.

Exes bring more problems to marriage farrrrrrr, more than advantages.


9 out of 10 guys that are exes will like to re-sex ther married ex. This is bitter truth fact, you can take it to the bank.

.......so, if people say you should avoid situation in which possiblity is 90%, to me, it's ok.......

tollyboy5:
This is one of the best advice sofar from the first page comments in that thread

I'm not married bro, but that advice is shit, ahswear