Hi guys,
I need your advice on this. It is causing issues in my 2 years relationship.
I came to Lagos in 2018 after my NYSC. Prior to that, I had plans for my older sister to come stay with me, considering how difficult things were.
Note that my married eldest brother was in Lagos before then. I understand that maybe he needs his privacy, but he didn't help in any way (he didn't have to).
 
When I got the apartment, I met my girlfriend while she was serving in Lagos. My older sister has yet to move in with me, but I have mentioned to her not once but twice that she will soon come and live with me.
 
I will also like to mention that my elder sister was living with her boyfriend before I came to Lagos. This doesn't seem right to me or to her.
 
She moved in, and we were living together peacefully. Along the way, she broke up with her boyfriend. About 6 months later, she got into another relationship. The man seems interested in marrying her. And they were making plans for settling down. Unfortunately, she got pregnant out of wedlock for the man. She had to move in with the man.
 
Now this is where the issues begin. After a few months (after her childbirth), they always have issues. They go on and off. Two times they had issues; she carried her bag and came to my place. Two times it happened, and she stayed with me for not more than two months put together. This didn't go well with my girlfriend. She complained that my sister is always in the picture, and she doesn't like that.
 
The third time, the man abused my sister, and he beat her up. I went to the man's house with my "married eldest brother." We fought with the man and threatened to arrest him. He pleaded, plus the neighbors and the landlord too. That night, we took my sister away from him. My sister chose to stay at my place until she gets an apartment for herself and her kid.

This really annoyed my girlfriend. She always says things like, "My family does not respect me." That's why my sister can move in to my house knowing that I am in a relationship.
"Why does she like to stay with me and not my brother?" "Why do I have to always be the one to bear the burden?" Note that my sister works, and she can take care of herself and her kid. She just needed a place to stay until she got her own apartment.

She feared that my sister could just move in with her bags when we get married, which I have assured her is not possible.
She claims she likes her space and all. She claims she doesn't like the "on and off" as sometimes she may want to spend a "lone" time with me. Spend weekends... and this won't be possible when my sister is around.
She claims that she has never seen a scenario where an older sister with a kid is leaving with younger brother.
She always give instances where she has never seen guys in relationships allow their older sister to come stay with them.
She claimed that sometimes I should "man up" and say NO to her. 
 
Is she overreacting? What did I do wrong in all of this? Am I being manipulated? Is her anger justified?
 
N.B My sister has gotten a place for herself and has moved out.

Bros , you need to tell that girlfriend of yours to shut up and keep her insecurities to herself , but also ensure that your sister stays in her place , and remains there permanently.

After all, she should bear the consequences of her action and stop being a burden to you , because nobody sent her to to have a child for someone who doesn't give a hoot.

Since your sister has gotten herself a place and moved out, what is the point of bringing the issue here?
What do you really want to know?
I honestly want to know.

She is overreacting

Ask her what she wants you to do? Ask her if her definition of man up means to allow your sister sleep in the street or remain in an abusive relationship because she thinks she has no where to go. You would think as a lady she would be more empathetic.

She’s right, you need to man up, tell her you are not up for such trash discussions ever again. If she’s not comfortable that you care about the well-being of your family, tell her where to go and how to get there.

Her intentions may be genuine, she just needs a crash course on empathy and you need one on firmness.

She moved in, and we were living together peacefully. Along the way, she broke up with her boyfriend. About 6 months later, she got into another relationship. The man seems interested in marrying her. And they were making plans for settling down. Unfortunately, she got pregnant out of wedlock for the man. She had to move in with the man

.
 


Hmmmm. making relationship sound like a Job or I'm I the only one seeing it this way... you see why real Niggas run from all this relationship as it comes with a lot of burdens these days.

Na so one dey disturb me like yesterday say she loves me and would like to be my Wife I laugh tire ( the boldness off me), I come wonder wetin she fit offer me apart from her toto, just this morning Babe dey yarn me say she dey Hungry with beta boldness oh, I come tell am make she find something chop she say make I send am money I off, I told her if she recalled what she told me yesterday she said yes, then I replied her that she needs a good paying Job and not a Husband. babe provoke still dey ask me wetin I mean

Ladies should be comfortable to a point before thinking marriage as e get wetin hunger fit do you, you go marry to quench hunger and not marry out of love.

Slime7:
Hi guys,
I need your advice on this. It is causing issues in my 2 years relationship.
I came to Lagos in 2018 after my NYSC. Prior to that, I had plans for my older sister to come stay with me, considering how difficult things were.
Note that my married eldest brother was in Lagos before then. I understand that maybe he needs his privacy, but he didn't help in any way (he didn't have to).
 
When I got the apartment, I met my girlfriend while she was serving in Lagos. My older sister has yet to move in with me, but I have mentioned to her not once but twice that she will soon come and live with me.
 
I will also like to mention that my elder sister was living with her boyfriend before I came to Lagos. This doesn't seem right to me or to her.
 
She moved in, and we were living together peacefully. Along the way, she broke up with her boyfriend. About 6 months later, she got into another relationship. The man seems interested in marrying her. And they were making plans for settling down. Unfortunately, she got pregnant out of wedlock for the man. She had to move in with the man.
 
Now this is where the issues begin. After a few months (after her childbirth), they always have issues. They go on and off. Two times they had issues; she carried her bag and came to my place. Two times it happened, and she stayed with me for not more than two months put together. This didn't go well with my girlfriend. She complained that my sister is always in the picture, and she doesn't like that.
 
The third time, the man abused my sister, and he beat her up. I went to the man's house with my "married eldest brother." We fought with the man and threatened to arrest him. He pleaded, plus the neighbors and the landlord too. That night, we took my sister away from him. My sister chose to stay at my place until she gets an apartment for herself and her kid.

This really annoyed my girlfriend. She always says things like, "My family does not respect me." That's why my sister can move in to my house knowing that I am in a relationship.
"Why does she like to stay with me and not my brother?" "Why do I have to always be the one to bear the burden?" Note that my sister works, and she can take care of herself and her kid. She just needed a place to stay until she got her own apartment.

She feared that my sister could just move in with her bags when we get married, which I have assured her is not possible.
She claims she likes her space and all. She claims she doesn't like the "on and off" as sometimes she may want to spend a "lone" time with me. Spend weekends... and this won't be possible when my sister is around.
She claims that she has never seen a scenario where an older sister with a kid is leaving with younger brother.
She always give instances where she has never seen guys in relationships allow their older sister to come stay with them.
She claimed that sometimes I should "man up" and say NO to her. 
 
Is she overreacting? What did I do wrong in all of this? Am I being manipulated? Is her anger justified?
 
N.B My sister has gotten a place for herself and has moved out.

that how must Nigeria woman are very manipulative and dominate. She wouldn't mind to bring her elder sister In .they see other woman as treats and competitors for Notting! I seen where a wife drove out a tenate .reason that the tenate staying in a different apartment act like a big woman ! She was also a former tenate in same houses before landlord marry her.

.

Why are you all living with people you're not married to biko? Is it a sort of tradition? Abeg, your gf should start by going home to her people first, once you guys get married, she can start claiming territory. Until then, she's the outsider!

Advice don cost & I don't offer free advice anymore

She need Anger Management Classes even tho you want to justify her

Girlfriend...not wife..... is ur GF an orphan?? She no get mama and papa ?? Runaway from poverty women , they are out to ruin u

She’s being manipulative. Is she the one paying rent?
Ask her If it was her sister, what will she do ?

F

I have no advise to give asides - Relationships suck, just go with the flow, if it fails, PULL OUT!




I’m watching BBTitans. Is this how boring clubbing is in SA? Boring AF. DJ is playing funeral tunes

Here to learn

I dey come

Let me not just talk.

Justified. She's 100% justified.👍
You men don't realise that women don't like too much visiting from relatives. It brings unnecessary clashes. Moreso, will you lie that you don't v sex with your girlfriend? When your sister is around, will you be comfortable to sleep with her in her presence or you share different rooms?
Your sister is suffering from bad choice in her relationship life.
Assist your sister in getting apartment and settling down asap.
Your girlfriend is your future wife, you won't marry your sister.

C

Okay

Bro it's common sense, would your girlfriend be comfortable if she was in your sisters shoes?? I guess not.
In as much as you're not married to her then your girlfriend should learn to be accommodating.
And you also need to man up, in sense that you should know how to talk to your girlfriend so it doesn't get to the point whereby you start feeling manipulated because females are generally manipulative.

Girlfriend?? Not even a wife
Lol okay ooo
Ask her what she would have done if it was her own sister or brother.

Anyways
Your sister needs help,try to help her out but let her know and explain to her you need your own privacy as a man that will soon get married.
Tell her she needs to get her own stable place and even offer to help with payment of the house.


Nobody go dey for you like your own family
You better treat them well

What kind of parasitic manipulative entitlement mentality is this abeg?

Bros, is your gf the one paying the house rent? Is she the one to tell u what to do? Imagine ordinary "gf" that she is, she already feels she has the right to dictate and says what should happen in your family? What will now happen when you finally end up with that girl as your wife? Na im be say she go control you and your entire family tire.

Oga, it's either you tell her to shut the fvck up or you send her out of your house ASAP. The only women God created you to maintain is your mother your sisters and your wife (not girlfriend)

Your girlfriend is the kind of ladies that don't like there husband relative to visit them but I'm sure when she finally settle down with you her siblings will always flood your house..

I pray this your sister doesn't ruin your relationship/ marriage from this whole scenerio you painted.. she get her own for body.

U Carry ur brother go fight ur sister's boyfriend for house based on a sided story...wish we could hear from d guy.. no worry you go marry one day.

That's a red flag from your so call girlfriend, if u can't accommodate your blood sister in a strange land, then she doesn't deserve a place in your life. Your sister is your blood, if anything happens to her it's your responsibility.

I felt irritated by just reading your post. Let me guess, your "entitled" girlfriend is jobless and adds no financial value to your relationship. Yet she wants to dictate the tune. Any partner that tells me or even suggests how I should treat or relate with my family members, I will cut you off immediately. Rubbish!

Never you think of settling down with a girl that isn't comfortable with the presence of your blood relations. This is even more important than love. If she respects you she MUST respect your blood. It's non negotiable.

She is not only overreacting but she is st*pid, self-centred and a divider. Better you let her know there are lines she should not cross when it comes to your family. If she can't stay let her move. You aren't even married to her yet.

Hi guys,
I need your advice on this. It is causing issues in my 2 years relationship.
I came to Lagos in 2018 after my NYSC. Prior to that, I had plans for my older sister to come stay with me, considering how difficult things were.
Note that my married eldest brother was in Lagos before then. I understand that maybe he needs his privacy, but he didn't help in any way (he didn't have to).
 
When I got the apartment, I met my girlfriend while she was serving in Lagos. My older sister has yet to move in with me, but I have mentioned to her not once but twice that she will soon come and live with me.
 
I will also like to mention that my elder sister was living with her boyfriend before I came to Lagos. This doesn't seem right to me or to her.
 
She moved in, and we were living together peacefully. Along the way, she broke up with her boyfriend. About 6 months later, she got into another relationship. The man seems interested in marrying her. And they were making plans for settling down. Unfortunately, she got pregnant out of wedlock for the man. She had to move in with the man.
 
Now this is where the issues begin. After a few months (after her childbirth), they always have issues. They go on and off. Two times they had issues; she carried her bag and came to my place. Two times it happened, and she stayed with me for not more than two months put together. This didn't go well with my girlfriend. She complained that my sister is always in the picture, and she doesn't like that.
 
The third time, the man abused my sister, and he beat her up. I went to the man's house with my "married eldest brother." We fought with the man and threatened to arrest him. He pleaded, plus the neighbors and the landlord too. That night, we took my sister away from him. My sister chose to stay at my place until she gets an apartment for herself and her kid.

This really annoyed my girlfriend. She always says things like, "My family does not respect me." That's why my sister can move in to my house knowing that I am in a relationship.
"Why does she like to stay with me and not my brother?" "Why do I have to always be the one to bear the burden?" Note that my sister works, and she can take care of herself and her kid. She just needed a place to stay until she got her own apartment.

She feared that my sister could just move in with her bags when we get married, which I have assured her is not possible.
She claims she likes her space and all. She claims she doesn't like the "on and off" as sometimes she may want to spend a "lone" time with me. Spend weekends... and this won't be possible when my sister is around.
She claims that she has never seen a scenario where an older sister with a kid is leaving with younger brother.
She always give instances where she has never seen guys in relationships allow their older sister to come stay with them.
She claimed that sometimes I should "man up" and say NO to her. 
 
Is she overreacting? What did I do wrong in all of this? Am I being manipulated? Is her anger justified?
 
N.B My sister has gotten a place for herself and has moved out.

[quote post=120253856] YOU BE MUMU RAISED TO POWER². Who born that woman that will tell me how to relate with my family.[/quote]