Hi guys,
I need your advice on this. It is causing issues in my 2 years relationship.
I came to Lagos in 2018 after my NYSC. Prior to that, I had plans for my older sister to come stay with me, considering how difficult things were.
Note that my married eldest brother was in Lagos before then. I understand that maybe he needs his privacy, but he didn't help in any way (he didn't have to).
 
When I got the apartment, I met my girlfriend while she was serving in Lagos. My older sister has yet to move in with me, but I have mentioned to her not once but twice that she will soon come and live with me.
 
I will also like to mention that my elder sister was living with her boyfriend before I came to Lagos. This doesn't seem right to me or to her.
 
She moved in, and we were living together peacefully. Along the way, she broke up with her boyfriend. About 6 months later, she got into another relationship. The man seems interested in marrying her. And they were making plans for settling down. Unfortunately, she got pregnant out of wedlock for the man. She had to move in with the man.
 
Now this is where the issues begin. After a few months (after her childbirth), they always have issues. They go on and off. Two times they had issues; she carried her bag and came to my place. Two times it happened, and she stayed with me for not more than two months put together. This didn't go well with my girlfriend. She complained that my sister is always in the picture, and she doesn't like that.
 
The third time, the man abused my sister, and he beat her up. I went to the man's house with my "married eldest brother." We fought with the man and threatened to arrest him. He pleaded, plus the neighbors and the landlord too. That night, we took my sister away from him. My sister chose to stay at my place until she gets an apartment for herself and her kid.

This really annoyed my girlfriend. She always says things like, "My family does not respect me." That's why my sister can move in to my house knowing that I am in a relationship.
"Why does she like to stay with me and not my brother?" "Why do I have to always be the one to bear the burden?" Note that my sister works, and she can take care of herself and her kid. She just needed a place to stay until she got her own apartment.

She feared that my sister could just move in with her bags when we get married, which I have assured her is not possible.
She claims she likes her space and all. She claims she doesn't like the "on and off" as sometimes she may want to spend a "lone" time with me. Spend weekends... and this won't be possible when my sister is around.
She claims that she has never seen a scenario where an older sister with a kid is leaving with younger brother.
She always give instances where she has never seen guys in relationships allow their older sister to come stay with them.
She claimed that sometimes I should "man up" and say NO to her. 
 
Is she overreacting? What did I do wrong in all of this? Am I being manipulated? Is her anger justified?
 
N.B My sister has gotten a place for herself and has moved out.

Slime7:
YOU BE MUMU RAISED TO POWER². Who born that woman that will tell me how to relate with my family.

Op, please....you are the man here, do everything for family. Your gf is an outsider now and she might even leave you tomorrow.

Once my gf start questioning why i help my niggas or families, i don't take it lightly.

Ok

Hi guys,
I need your advice on this. It is causing issues in my 2 years relationship.
I came to Lagos in 2018 after my NYSC. Prior to that, I had plans for my older sister to come stay with me, considering how difficult things were.
Note that my married eldest brother was in Lagos before then. I understand that maybe he needs his privacy, but he didn't help in any way (he didn't have to).
 
When I got the apartment, I met my girlfriend while she was serving in Lagos. My older sister has yet to move in with me, but I have mentioned to her not once but twice that she will soon come and live with me.
 
I will also like to mention that my elder sister was living with her boyfriend before I came to Lagos. This doesn't seem right to me or to her.
 
She moved in, and we were living together peacefully. Along the way, she broke up with her boyfriend. About 6 months later, she got into another relationship. The man seems interested in marrying her. And they were making plans for settling down. Unfortunately, she got pregnant out of wedlock for the man. She had to move in with the man.
 
Now this is where the issues begin. After a few months (after her childbirth), they always have issues. They go on and off. Two times they had issues; she carried her bag and came to my place. Two times it happened, and she stayed with me for not more than two months put together. This didn't go well with my girlfriend. She complained that my sister is always in the picture, and she doesn't like that.
 
The third time, the man abused my sister, and he beat her up. I went to the man's house with my "married eldest brother." We fought with the man and threatened to arrest him. He pleaded, plus the neighbors and the landlord too. That night, we took my sister away from him. My sister chose to stay at my place until she gets an apartment for herself and her kid.

This really annoyed my girlfriend. She always says things like, "My family does not respect me." That's why my sister can move in to my house knowing that I am in a relationship.
"Why does she like to stay with me and not my brother?" "Why do I have to always be the one to bear the burden?" Note that my sister works, and she can take care of herself and her kid. She just needed a place to stay until she got her own apartment.

She feared that my sister could just move in with her bags when we get married, which I have assured her is not possible.
She claims she likes her space and all. She claims she doesn't like the "on and off" as sometimes she may want to spend a "lone" time with me. Spend weekends... and this won't be possible when my sister is around.
She claims that she has never seen a scenario where an older sister with a kid is leaving with younger brother.
She always give instances where she has never seen guys in relationships allow their older sister to come stay with them.
She claimed that sometimes I should "man up" and say NO to her. 
 
Is she overreacting? What did I do wrong in all of this? Am I being manipulated? Is her anger justified?
 
N.B My sister has gotten a place for herself and has moved out.

damoobaba:
YOU BE MUMU RAISED TO POWER². Who born that woman that will tell me how to relate with my family.

That you girlfriend should get a house for her self, until you pay her bride price, if not she doesn't have to interfere in your family affairs and pls remember your family first before girlfriend

Women don't love women she is only displaying the characteristics of female they love there person space

Slime7:
Hi guys,
I need your advice on this. It is causing issues in my 2 years relationship.
I came to Lagos in 2018 after my NYSC. Prior to that, I had plans for my older sister to come stay with me, considering how difficult things were.
Note that my married eldest brother was in Lagos before then. I understand that maybe he needs his privacy, but he didn't help in any way (he didn't have to).
 
When I got the apartment, I met my girlfriend while she was serving in Lagos. My older sister has yet to move in with me, but I have mentioned to her not once but twice that she will soon come and live with me.
 
I will also like to mention that my elder sister was living with her boyfriend before I came to Lagos. This doesn't seem right to me or to her.
 
She moved in, and we were living together peacefully. Along the way, she broke up with her boyfriend. About 6 months later, she got into another relationship. The man seems interested in marrying her. And they were making plans for settling down. Unfortunately, she got pregnant out of wedlock for the man. She had to move in with the man.
 
Now this is where the issues begin. After a few months (after her childbirth), they always have issues. They go on and off. Two times they had issues; she carried her bag and came to my place. Two times it happened, and she stayed with me for not more than two months put together. This didn't go well with my girlfriend. She complained that my sister is always in the picture, and she doesn't like that.
 
The third time, the man abused my sister, and he beat her up. I went to the man's house with my "married eldest brother." We fought with the man and threatened to arrest him. He pleaded, plus the neighbors and the landlord too. That night, we took my sister away from him. My sister chose to stay at my place until she gets an apartment for herself and her kid.

This really annoyed my girlfriend. She always says things like, "My family does not respect me." That's why my sister can move in to my house knowing that I am in a relationship.
"Why does she like to stay with me and not my brother?" "Why do I have to always be the one to bear the burden?" Note that my sister works, and she can take care of herself and her kid. She just needed a place to stay until she got her own apartment.

She feared that my sister could just move in with her bags when we get married, which I have assured her is not possible.
She claims she likes her space and all. She claims she doesn't like the "on and off" as sometimes she may want to spend a "lone" time with me. Spend weekends... and this won't be possible when my sister is around.
She claims that she has never seen a scenario where an older sister with a kid is leaving with younger brother.
She always give instances where she has never seen guys in relationships allow their older sister to come stay with them.
She claimed that sometimes I should "man up" and say NO to her. 
 
Is she overreacting? What did I do wrong in all of this? Am I being manipulated? Is her anger justified?
 
N.B My sister has gotten a place for herself and has moved out.

damoobaba:

Thank you for that question. how women wey no dey add any value to my life apart from sex, go dey tell me how to relate with my blood?

Exceed15:
I pray this your sister doesn't ruin your relationship/ marriage from this whole scenerio you painted.. she get her own for body.

U Carry ur brother go fight ur sister's boyfriend for house based on a sided story...wish we could hear from d guy.. no worry you go marry one day.

Mumu so you wouldn't do what op did for his sister if it were you?
You no get sens.e one Kobo

iLoveYouToo:
I have no advise to give asides - Relationships suck, just go with the flow, if it fails, PULL OUT!




I’m watching BBTitans. Is this how boring clubbing is in SA? Boring AF. DJ is playing funeral tunes

I have missed the program, men in the house prefer football

Op don't listen to your trouble some gf.

Remember your sister is your Family while the troublesome lady is just your girlfri END

Women are like that and most likely your sister too lol

We as men always prefer to see the good side of our sisters and mother and most importantly they always show their good side to us their brothers or son.

Asking this question is asking for wisdom. Women can be manipulative sometimes and they themselves don't fully understand their nature or why do certain things their gender always do.
So in managing women one must not be quick to judgment and I'm glad you never judge your sister base on what your girlfriend said about her.

I will tell you one last thing. ...
Family is everything

Slime7:
Hi guys,
I need your advice on this. It is causing issues in my 2 years relationship.
I came to Lagos in 2018 after my NYSC. Prior to that, I had plans for my older sister to come stay with me, considering how difficult things were.
Note that my married eldest brother was in Lagos before then. I understand that maybe he needs his privacy, but he didn't help in any way (he didn't have to).
 
When I got the apartment, I met my girlfriend while she was serving in Lagos. My older sister has yet to move in with me, but I have mentioned to her not once but twice that she will soon come and live with me.
 
I will also like to mention that my elder sister was living with her boyfriend before I came to Lagos. This doesn't seem right to me or to her.
 
She moved in, and we were living together peacefully. Along the way, she broke up with her boyfriend. About 6 months later, she got into another relationship. The man seems interested in marrying her. And they were making plans for settling down. Unfortunately, she got pregnant out of wedlock for the man. She had to move in with the man.
 
Now this is where the issues begin. After a few months (after her childbirth), they always have issues. They go on and off. Two times they had issues; she carried her bag and came to my place. Two times it happened, and she stayed with me for not more than two months put together. This didn't go well with my girlfriend. She complained that my sister is always in the picture, and she doesn't like that.
 
The third time, the man abused my sister, and he beat her up. I went to the man's house with my "married eldest brother." We fought with the man and threatened to arrest him. He pleaded, plus the neighbors and the landlord too. That night, we took my sister away from him. My sister chose to stay at my place until she gets an apartment for herself and her kid.

This really annoyed my girlfriend. She always says things like, "My family does not respect me." That's why my sister can move in to my house knowing that I am in a relationship.
"Why does she like to stay with me and not my brother?" "Why do I have to always be the one to bear the burden?" Note that my sister works, and she can take care of herself and her kid. She just needed a place to stay until she got her own apartment.

She feared that my sister could just move in with her bags when we get married, which I have assured her is not possible.
She claims she likes her space and all. She claims she doesn't like the "on and off" as sometimes she may want to spend a "lone" time with me. Spend weekends... and this won't be possible when my sister is around.
She claims that she has never seen a scenario where an older sister with a kid is leaving with younger brother.
She always give instances where she has never seen guys in relationships allow their older sister to come stay with them.
She claimed that sometimes I should "man up" and say NO to her. 
 
Is she overreacting? What did I do wrong in all of this? Am I being manipulated? Is her anger justified?
 
N.B My sister has gotten a place for herself and has moved out.

Give me her nos,make I toast am,d mansion I built,many rooms plenty.thank u

Isabi4lov:
I have missed the program, men in the house prefer football

Oops…Don’t you have a small TV in your room? You can manage GoTV

Pursue your family and bring her in. 😍😍😍😍😍

Haakeem:
Mumu so you wouldn't do what op did for his sister if it were you?
You no get sens.e one Kobo

Na derailed fool u be and it stemmed from your generation and passed over to u. Na ppl like u dem even go beat their wife... There are better ways of handling things.. but as I see say u be mumu in the making I go leave u make u meet am for front...u no see how d rubbish post gather likes.. mumu grade one

iLoveYouToo:



Oops…Don’t you have a small TV in your room? You can manage GoTV

Nope

That your girlfriend na RED flag, if you marry finish,say bye bye to your family.
Then, your sister always quarreling with her husband get issue too,but family first.

Slime7:
Hi guys,
I need your advice on this. It is causing issues in my 2 years relationship.
I came to Lagos in 2018 after my NYSC. Prior to that, I had plans for my older sister to come stay with me, considering how difficult things were.
Note that my married eldest brother was in Lagos before then. I understand that maybe he needs his privacy, but he didn't help in any way (he didn't have to).
 
When I got the apartment, I met my girlfriend while she was serving in Lagos. My older sister has yet to move in with me, but I have mentioned to her not once but twice that she will soon come and live with me.
 
I will also like to mention that my elder sister was living with her boyfriend before I came to Lagos. This doesn't seem right to me or to her.
 
She moved in, and we were living together peacefully. Along the way, she broke up with her boyfriend. About 6 months later, she got into another relationship. The man seems interested in marrying her. And they were making plans for settling down. Unfortunately, she got pregnant out of wedlock for the man. She had to move in with the man.
 
Now this is where the issues begin. After a few months (after her childbirth), they always have issues. They go on and off. Two times they had issues; she carried her bag and came to my place. Two times it happened, and she stayed with me for not more than two months put together. This didn't go well with my girlfriend. She complained that my sister is always in the picture, and she doesn't like that.
 
The third time, the man abused my sister, and he beat her up. I went to the man's house with my "married eldest brother." We fought with the man and threatened to arrest him. He pleaded, plus the neighbors and the landlord too. That night, we took my sister away from him. My sister chose to stay at my place until she gets an apartment for herself and her kid.

This really annoyed my girlfriend. She always says things like, "My family does not respect me." That's why my sister can move in to my house knowing that I am in a relationship.
"Why does she like to stay with me and not my brother?" "Why do I have to always be the one to bear the burden?" Note that my sister works, and she can take care of herself and her kid. She just needed a place to stay until she got her own apartment.

She feared that my sister could just move in with her bags when we get married, which I have assured her is not possible.
She claims she likes her space and all. She claims she doesn't like the "on and off" as sometimes she may want to spend a "lone" time with me. Spend weekends... and this won't be possible when my sister is around.
She claims that she has never seen a scenario where an older sister with a kid is leaving with younger brother.
She always give instances where she has never seen guys in relationships allow their older sister to come stay with them.
She claimed that sometimes I should "man up" and say NO to her. 
 
Is she overreacting? What did I do wrong in all of this? Am I being manipulated? Is her anger justified?
 
N.B My sister has gotten a place for herself and has moved out.

Isabi4lov:
Nope

How about ShowmaX? It’ll cost you 1,200 monthly


Although you won’t enjoy it as much as watching on TV

Exceed15:


Na derailed fool u be and it stemmed from your generation and passed over to u. Na ppl like u dem even go beat their wife... There are better ways of handling things.. but as I see say u be mumu in the making I go leave u make u meet am for front...u no see how d rubbish post gather likes.. mumu grade one

Na God go punish you. Stupid and a wasted sperm vomiting rubbish.
The next time you use that your std Infested useless rotten and grimy stick you call a finger to quote me.
I'll strangle that your good for nothing agolo you call a neck.

Fo.ol😒

I wonder why everyone is blaming the girlfriend for being too over reactive. Your sister cannot manage her life and relationship. She's always willing to run to some safe haven which is your place. What if she is the only child of your parents and has no where to run to? Your lady asked a valid question as to why your older brother isn't hosting your sister. I expected to see a valid answer. Your girlfriend is right. You might just be a red flag about not being decisive of who comes to live in your home.

iLoveYouToo:



How about ShowmaX? It’ll cost you 1,200 monthly


Although you won’t enjoy it as much as watching on TV

That's true , they've granted my request o , watching their dance steps now . Although I've next week all to myself so I be watching it without any restriction 😊

chimpad:
I wonder why everyone is blaming the girlfriend for being too over reactive. Your sister cannot manage her life and relationship. She always willing to run to some safe haven which is your place. She asked a valid question as to why your older brother isn't hosting your sister. I expected to see a valid answer. Your girlfriend is right. You might just be a red flag about not being decisive of who comes to live in your home.

You got no sis right?

I doubt it.

Isabi4lov:
That's true , they've granted my request o , watching their dance steps now . Although I've next week all to myself so I be watching it without any restriction 😊

👍 Enjoy

Watch out for Blue, she’s got those Mzansi moves



Nairaland codedly upgraded their site, I didn’t know you could now post emojis

Haakeem:
Na God go punish you. Stupid and a wasted sperm vomiting rubbish.
The next time you use that your std Infested useless rotten and grimy stick you call a finger to quote me.
I'll strangle that your good for nothing agolo you call a neck.

Fo.ol😒

Looooooooool...

But if na her sister, she won’t have problem with that, huh?

Op ask her to vouch for you that she won’t be bringing her own relative to come and stay in the guise of coming to stay for 2 days and remain in your house in the future if she doesn’t want to see your sister

There is one thing I want you to know, she’s not ready to welcome your family, if she was the one who paid that rent, she would have kicked you both out


Op, reserve a special place for your mother in your home, it’s an antidote that cure women madness , your mother is the only one that will protect your interest more than your wife without being selfish
Take care of your wife but don’t joke with your family, the moment you do, she will pack her own family to your house and you will start feeding them, they will take control of your life but they won’t do that if they know your mother is not far away

eazzzy1:
Ask her what she wants you to do? Ask her if her definition of man up means to allow your sister sleep in the street or remain in an abusive relationship because she thinks she has no where to go. You would think as a lady she would be more empathetic.

She’s right, you need to man up, tell her you are not up for such trash discussions ever again. If she’s not comfortable that you care about the well-being of your family, tell her where to go and how to get there.

Her intentions may be genuine, she just needs a crash course on empathy and you need one on firmness.

The girlfriend is insane!

chimpad:
I wonder why everyone is blaming the girlfriend for being too over reactive. Your sister cannot manage her life and relationship. She's always willing to run to some safe haven which is your place. What if she is the only child of your parents and has no where to run to? Your lady asked a valid question as to why your older brother isn't hosting your sister. I expected to see a valid answer. Your girlfriend is right. You might just be a red flag about not being decisive of who comes to live in your home.

The person here is not ordinary "who" but his sister which is a family. About his elder brother not accommodating the sister, do not forget he said the elder brother does not even accommodate him when he first get to Lagos so he or her wife might not be the accommodating type .

I will only advise the op to talk senses into her sister too, it's not everything that happens in her family that should warrant packing out of her husband house

eazzzy1:
Ask her what she wants you to do? Ask her if her definition of man up means to allow your sister sleep in the street or remain in an abusive relationship because she thinks she has no where to go. You would think as a lady she would be more empathetic.

She’s right, you need to man up, tell her you are not up for such trash discussions ever again. If she’s not comfortable that you care about the well-being of your family, tell her where to go and how to get there.

Her intentions may be genuine, she just needs a crash course on empathy and you need one on firmness.

chimpad:
I wonder why everyone is blaming the girlfriend for being too over reactive. Your sister cannot manage her life and relationship. She's always willing to run to some safe haven which is your place. What if she is the only child of your parents and has no where to run to? Your lady asked a valid question as to why your older brother isn't hosting your sister. I expected to see a valid answer. Your girlfriend is right. You might just be a red flag about not being decisive of who comes to live in your home.

But that is thankfully not the case here. So you think it is wrong or extreme for a blood sister to lean on his blood brother?

The older brother is married while he is still single. That should be easy to understand..

The girl friend is actually the one that displayed a red flag.

Your gf has undisclosed mental issues.
I no fit talk pass like that.

Slime7:
Hi guys,
I need your advice on this. It is causing issues in my 2 years relationship.
I came to Lagos in 2018 after my NYSC. Prior to that, I had plans for my older sister to come stay with me, considering how difficult things were.
Note that my married eldest brother was in Lagos before then. I understand that maybe he needs his privacy, but he didn't help in any way (he didn't have to).
 
When I got the apartment, I met my girlfriend while she was serving in Lagos. My older sister has yet to move in with me, but I have mentioned to her not once but twice that she will soon come and live with me.
 
I will also like to mention that my elder sister was living with her boyfriend before I came to Lagos. This doesn't seem right to me or to her.
 
She moved in, and we were living together peacefully. Along the way, she broke up with her boyfriend. About 6 months later, she got into another relationship. The man seems interested in marrying her. And they were making plans for settling down. Unfortunately, she got pregnant out of wedlock for the man. She had to move in with the man.
 
Now this is where the issues begin. After a few months (after her childbirth), they always have issues. They go on and off. Two times they had issues; she carried her bag and came to my place. Two times it happened, and she stayed with me for not more than two months put together. This didn't go well with my girlfriend. She complained that my sister is always in the picture, and she doesn't like that.
 
The third time, the man abused my sister, and he beat her up. I went to the man's house with my "married eldest brother." We fought with the man and threatened to arrest him. He pleaded, plus the neighbors and the landlord too. That night, we took my sister away from him. My sister chose to stay at my place until she gets an apartment for herself and her kid.

This really annoyed my girlfriend. She always says things like, "My family does not respect me." That's why my sister can move in to my house knowing that I am in a relationship.
"Why does she like to stay with me and not my brother?" "Why do I have to always be the one to bear the burden?" Note that my sister works, and she can take care of herself and her kid. She just needed a place to stay until she got her own apartment.

She feared that my sister could just move in with her bags when we get married, which I have assured her is not possible.
She claims she likes her space and all. She claims she doesn't like the "on and off" as sometimes she may want to spend a "lone" time with me. Spend weekends... and this won't be possible when my sister is around.
She claims that she has never seen a scenario where an older sister with a kid is leaving with younger brother.
She always give instances where she has never seen guys in relationships allow their older sister to come stay with them.
She claimed that sometimes I should "man up" and say NO to her. 
 
Is she overreacting? What did I do wrong in all of this? Am I being manipulated? Is her anger justified?
 
N.B My sister has gotten a place for herself and has moved out.

Well man up and be done with that demon you call a girlfriend. She is definitely manipulating you

So since your sister has gotten a place, so why did you bring up the issue here and what do you want us to do? To me, since the bone of contention has been resolved, there's no issue here anymore.

As for your gf, she didn't overreact and her anger was justified! Every normal lady will react negatively to the whole scenario. And yes! Me too, I've never seen an elder sister that lives with her younger bro time and again without an iota prestige! And why does she keep having relationship troubles? You need your own space abeg!

Slime7:
Hi guys,
I need your advice on this. It is causing issues in my 2 years relationship.
I came to Lagos in 2018 after my NYSC. Prior to that, I had plans for my older sister to come stay with me, considering how difficult things were.
Note that my married eldest brother was in Lagos before then. I understand that maybe he needs his privacy, but he didn't help in any way (he didn't have to).
 
When I got the apartment, I met my girlfriend while she was serving in Lagos. My older sister has yet to move in with me, but I have mentioned to her not once but twice that she will soon come and live with me.
 
I will also like to mention that my elder sister was living with her boyfriend before I came to Lagos. This doesn't seem right to me or to her.
 
She moved in, and we were living together peacefully. Along the way, she broke up with her boyfriend. About 6 months later, she got into another relationship. The man seems interested in marrying her. And they were making plans for settling down. Unfortunately, she got pregnant out of wedlock for the man. She had to move in with the man.
 
Now this is where the issues begin. After a few months (after her childbirth), they always have issues. They go on and off. Two times they had issues; she carried her bag and came to my place. Two times it happened, and she stayed with me for not more than two months put together. This didn't go well with my girlfriend. She complained that my sister is always in the picture, and she doesn't like that.
 
The third time, the man abused my sister, and he beat her up. I went to the man's house with my "married eldest brother." We fought with the man and threatened to arrest him. He pleaded, plus the neighbors and the landlord too. That night, we took my sister away from him. My sister chose to stay at my place until she gets an apartment for herself and her kid.

This really annoyed my girlfriend. She always says things like, "My family does not respect me." That's why my sister can move in to my house knowing that I am in a relationship.
"Why does she like to stay with me and not my brother?" "Why do I have to always be the one to bear the burden?" Note that my sister works, and she can take care of herself and her kid. She just needed a place to stay until she got her own apartment.

She feared that my sister could just move in with her bags when we get married, which I have assured her is not possible.
She claims she likes her space and all. She claims she doesn't like the "on and off" as sometimes she may want to spend a "lone" time with me. Spend weekends... and this won't be possible when my sister is around.
She claims that she has never seen a scenario where an older sister with a kid is leaving with younger brother.
She always give instances where she has never seen guys in relationships allow their older sister to come stay with them.
She claimed that sometimes I should "man up" and say NO to her. 
 
Is she overreacting? What did I do wrong in all of this? Am I being manipulated? Is her anger justified?
 
N.B My sister has gotten a place for herself and has moved out.