DaddyCoool:


I bet you it's not the same for her. You're probably gradually becoming disgusting to her. Why can't things ever be equal in this life??!!

EriMma1:
It's a normal thing especially with those who go into relationship for money or physical body features like facial beauty and body shape. When the beauty is no longer as sparkling as it was, the interest drops. When the shape is no longer there due to child birth or lack of control of what you eat, the interest also drops.

This is the reason I will never date because of looks because looks fade. For money? Yes I'll date for money because money is very very essential for a healthy relationship and marriage.

I prefer the likeness to come naturally without attaching it to anything I can see. Let it flow from within and it's such likeness/love that lasts forever.

As for couples getting bored of each other, I too have seen it and even though I know the probable cause of such, it disturbs me a lot whenever I see it playing out
Just last week, it happened in my presence between my pastor and his wife and I began to wonder about this whole marriage thing. I went to their place to do something. The man just went outside to sit down while the woman was inside. Not like she was busy o. I was now saying, why does it look like he just wants to be by himself? Why are they not sitting inside together and honeying with each other. This was just going on in my head as I was looking at the pastor engrossed in his phone. I just concluded in my heart that they are prolly bored with the others presence. God forgive me.

Of all the guys I ever dated, I only got tired of one and that's because he didn't have money and after bearing with him to see if things would change for the better, nothing happened. I just lost interest in him and jejely took a walk.

In summary, don't go after looks. Looks will fade and there'll be nothing to look forward to in that marriage hence the loss of interest. Marry for natural likeness.

DaddyCoool:


I bet you it's not the same for her. You're probably gradually becoming disgusting to her. Why can't things ever be equal in this life??!!

seanwilliam:
honestly speaking , if a woman comes visiting, I get tired after two days and I’ll do anything to discharge her.

And if I Dey chase women like this , the moment I yansh her one or two times, the interest no go Dey there again , na she go Dey do the calling and chasing. I fear make this thing no happen to me for marriage

DaddyCoool:


I bet you it's not the same for her. You're probably gradually becoming disgusting to her. Why can't things ever be equal in this life??!!

naijapikin2:
I can only speak about what I've heard the men say:
Some women just tend to lower their guard after marriage. They now begin to tie wrapper Instead of putting on bum shorts for your man. Just generally leave themselves unkempt. Hair undone, teeth not brushed, hey ladies your men also like to see you do make up.

I'll be back with more...

naijapikin2:
I can only speak about what I've heard the men say:
Some women just tend to lower their guard after marriage. They now begin to tie wrapper Instead of putting on bum shorts for your man. Just generally leave themselves unkempt. Hair undone, teeth not brushed, hey ladies your men also like to see you do make up.

I'll be back with more...

spiceadole:


Reality sets in.
"See finish syndrome ".

Personally,I can stay for weeks to months without seeing my husband and I'm fine.
I even prefer his absence.

There are more important things to bother about,abeg

omooba969:


Read up on 'Pair bonding'.

one9ner:
We keep seeing love as if it is blind, but it is not. He fell in love with her because of either her beauty or figure and when those things are no longer there... It becomes more of a burden that the couple will have to live with, probably for the rest of his or her life if he can tolerate it.

Another factor to consider is the change in character before and after marriage. Some people tend to reveal their true nature after marriage. Showing you things and sides to their life that you've never seen before or thought were there.

Overfamiliarity (see-finish) is another factor. You sleep and wakeup next to each other, and you see the guy/babe that you would normally get to see by privilege or chance every day, so it becomes normal and boring. This can go a long way to start causing some turbulence in your marriage. If you know you are likely to get bored after a while, I think it is best you get separate bedrooms. It helps to promote privacy in marriage and remove the factor of overfamiliarity.

And finally among many others is sex. If people have had sex with multiple partners before in their life or got married because of good sex, when one of the partners starts failing to meet up to the standards of the other, it could very well lead to a loss of interest in the marriage and definitely cheating... I would advise that if you are trying to get into a serious relationship with someone, something like marriage, it is best to abstain from sex during the relationship so that you build your relationship on a more solid foundation rather than sex. What I am trying to say in a north shell is that sex shouldn't be the basis of your marriage.

These are a few out of many other factors...

uuzba:

Make sure the person, loves you back.
A guy will be shifting heaven and earth to get one babe. Unknown to him, he is also keeping score/records..
When he finally marries the girl after all the challenges, he drops her in the collection box. He doesn't chase her again because he feels he has suffered enough to chase her the first time. Then he just starts using her to satisfy he needs and if she complains or starts talking about validation and her feelings, guy will land her heavy slap. Beatings commence from there
As I said, the guy was unknowing keeping records of her shakara and forming, during the premarital stage and is now revenging.

1stmojisola:


It ain't easy tho maybe you just wish to be a player.
You haven't see the one you really love yet 🤕

handsomeyitayo:
Hello Nairalanders

I do observe that most married couples don't find their selves attractive unlike when they started their relationship before marriage.

I have experienced three married couples like that.

I remember when this my neighbor brought her wife to be then, this man is very jelous and he always challenge her when he sees her chatting with guys in the compound but some years later, they did wedding and she gave birth to two lovely girls but now all those jealousy of those days, he is not doing that again even if he comes from work he will just over look the person chatting with his wife and he comes back late in the night.. weekend he will be indoor not minding the wife is outside still conversating with neighbors I mean male neighbors,but then who dares go near to interact with her before marriage.

Even the other couples they will be doing as if they don't know each other .. I learnt that he said he doesn't find her attractive no more but what made him marry her? Didn't he see the signs she is not attractive.

Even also it happens to ladies that will later say she is tired of her husband.

naijapikin2:
I can only speak about what I've heard the men say:
Some women just tend to lower their guard after marriage. They now begin to tie wrapper Instead of putting on bum shorts for your man. Just generally leave themselves unkempt. Hair undone, teeth not brushed, hey ladies your men also like to see you do make up.

I'll be back with more...

Isabi4lov:
Lack of money

Lack of communication

Lack of commitment etc

BRATISLAVA:


And the men, they only become hotter, right? The disinterest can only come because the wife "lowers their guard", correct?

You listened to saints telling you about their marriages.

Eriokanmi:
What a nice post you've put up here... After reading some people's comments trying to compare phones or gadget to partners in marriage, I concluded in my mind that they're ignorant of what marriage is all about. The same people saying phones do fade later are always seen visiting computer Village in Ikeja looking for phone pouch, screen guard, new housing, etc, to replace the old ones and make the same old phone look new again. There's also software update which resets your phone to its new status, etc. I wonder why didn't they also consider my narrative above in marriage.

Women especially tend to drop forms once they get married. Most of them put on beautiful clothing, nice wigs or hairdo, nail paintings with nice perfume worn on them whole looking for men. They use all these to attract men or future husbands who would always like them to remain in that good forms they first met them, after marriage. Some of them would show their real selves by exhibiting their hidden character. No man would condone all these. Some men too pretend, no doubt..they say all manner of things just to marry that girl

This is very wrong. Ladies are expected to look good as always, take care of their guy as always...not that you'd begin to give excuses for not preparing his meal...what you've not been doing before marriage. Women need special training on this before they get married because there hundreds of single ladies out there who would not hesitate to snatch their men due to their negligence.

There shouldn't be any difference between when you're single and when you're married in your dressing. If you see some ladies, you'd think they're still single cos of how gorgeous they look. It's their wedding rings that wouid differentiate them from the single ones.

handsomeyitayo:
Hello Nairalanders

I do observe that most married couples don't find their selves attractive unlike when they started their relationship before marriage.

I have experienced three married couples like that.

I remember when this my neighbor brought her wife to be then, this man is very jelous and he always challenge her when he sees her chatting with guys in the compound but some years later, they did wedding and she gave birth to two lovely girls but now all those jealousy of those days, he is not doing that again even if he comes from work he will just over look the person chatting with his wife and he comes back late in the night.. weekend he will be indoor not minding the wife is outside still conversating with neighbors I mean male neighbors,but then who dares go near to interact with her before marriage.

Even the other couples they will be doing as if they don't know each other .. I learnt that he said he doesn't find her attractive no more but what made him marry her? Didn't he see the signs she is not attractive.

Even also it happens to ladies that will later say she is tired of her husband.

Goodlady:

Marriage is good n I look forward ⏩⏩⏩ to it.
Why couples don't find themselves attractive is based on desire. Once you decide this is who you ll be with forever, it's sealed.
If it's looks that attracts you, the looks ll fade. If it's money, money fit finish. But the desire to stick to your partner keeps you going when it appear to be rough.
Just like when you buy new gadget, it's so new at first but becomes old gradually. Humans aren't objects though so that's why you v to maintain each other.