tradepunter:


Mumu man you are never home and you angry your wife is close to your mom..... If like continue your stupidity nah another man go dy shine her congo.... Rubbish

Them never teach the guy lesson

What can we do to please these men ?

I understand you son, but are you not lucky its your mom she seeks approval from? what if it was her own mom?

back to reality son, balance the whole equation, but you need to warn your wife seriously, never must she disclose certain information to your mom, she is trying to please her MIL.

Call your mother and make peace, give her small bar and let her know you appreciate she means the best for your home but you are in charge, and you will always respect her opinion.

No offense at all but it’s your fault. There’s no way you had no idea your mum was that way. Separate your mum from your wife early enough. Maintain orderliness in your home fam

I have learned to meditate on the moments of anger, i also studied myself, and i know when anger is about to come and i put it under control. It helps, i think its like a discipline also.

If you allow anger to have its way, , it will lead to unpredictable consequences.

Guy maybe u have being a mumboy from ur childhood till u got married,
Though you are trying to be independent from mum now being a family man, But applied wisdom small small to enable gain ur freedom from mum,
Nobody like mother pls bro.

destiny4luv:


U are mad, is ur mother that is useless. What is wrong with u children of nowadays. Jesus.....

Keep quiet. Mummy boys are always dullards and you are one of them.

I think you overreacted. The problem isn't your mum. She wants to have a say which isn't bad but a say is a say. It doesn't mean it will be done. She can have her say, you and your wife will decide whether to carry it out. I recently had a son and my wife is a nurse. I have watched my mum give birth to our last born and nurse him so I trust her judgement when it comes to raising children as she has raised six. This is our first child. My mum wanted my wife to buy some normal drugs for children which she would give our son everyday. Her mum also wanted that but my wife, being a nurse, didn't think it was necessary. As a professional, she said breastfeeding was enough... In private, I tried to talk to her to see their point but she convinced me and said it's best for our son. Our son is 5 months and he is the most healthy boy you have ever seen. So fresh and full of life, as opposed to other kids. Now our mothers know best and keep asking questions. Marriage is for you and your wife to be one. I backed her in front of my mother and hers and her decision was also my decision. It wasn't her own alone.

Because you are always out, you haven't taken time to build this oneness with your wife. It's not about your mum or any outsider, it's about you and your wife. You cautioned your wife but you made an enemy of your mum and she has been doing quite a great job in keeping your wife company. If she leaves, and your wife is alone, you will be ready for wolves to come in. Swallow your pride, call your mum, let her feel welcome in your home cause you need her, apologize. Tell her you appreciate her input and always welcome it, but make her understand that it still has to be an agreement between you and your wife.

God bless you.

Let her be... She will come around. Don't let your mum have such power in your house, imagine what your wife will think of you, a mummy's boy or what... Your mum should know her place. Bro it is your house. Your say should be final as long as it is good and reasonable.

Never offend your mother. Make amends with her. You only have one not two

Weak man ! I didn’t mean you should be vawulent but your words can control woman they love ideas, surprise, taking good stand on everything.

Read all the chapters of James in the Bible you’ll see a place “ he who lacks wisdom him asked” don’t google the place read the whole book you’ll get wisdom on how to handle your home. From experience I’m talking. You are welcome

You have done no wrong bro, but please try to be a man it's your home not your moms'. You can always reconcile with her later and by this act she will know her boundary. Meanwhile, your wife needs to be tutored the relationship is between you and her not everything that you discuss as couple should be discussed with your mother. Please reconcile with your mom and let her realise it's your home.

I’m happy for you that your wife bonds well with your mom but that doesn’t mean they can be taking decision without your consent..


Take charge of your family.

I don’t blame your wife, she has seen that you are weak and can’t take charge of your home so she decided to align with the one who is in control of your affairs (Mum) so that she can have peace in her marriage. It’s left for you to make your Mum know that you are in charge of the home

My brother you are not over-reacting. You are the head of your family and your father is the head of his family. Your mother has no right to change whatever instructions or discussions you have with your wife. She is a third party and should focus on her own home and not yours. You have the right to be angry at her and even your wife for going against what the two of you agreed only because your mother said she should do so.

Someone who work offshore, una no de get sense, na wen I de warri I noticed things like that, don't worry she go carry pikin come give u no get cos ur mom will tell her to keep it.

Some thing most be fishing

She is a very smart woman, she actually strikes at your weak point.

The question is ,is the advice a bad one,if it is for ur family growth mostly ur wife what's the p about

Thank God she's not taking instructions from her mother. You for don.....

destiny4luv:
Good day Nairalanders.l; let me go straight to the point. I work off-shore so most of the times I am not always around, some times I can be at work for three months and be given one or two weeks time- off that's just the nature of my job.

But they is something troubling me seriously, when I give my wife instructions regarding anything at all she will first of all ask my Mom before she carries out the instruction I give her, that's if my Mom is in support of the instruction. Recently I gave her an instruction regarding a particular matter while I was on time-off, only for my wife to call me fee weeks later that she has carried out the instruction when the time I told her to carry out that instruction is not yet. I was so mad at her I asked her why can't she wait till the time I told her to do it; she said my Mom came over to the house and told her to do it so she did it. At that point I cut the call.

Later that day my Mom called me and was asking why I cut the call on my wife and refused to pick her call even why she was calling back, I told her she was the course, and she said how, and I told her why will I give my wife instruction and u will come to counter that instruction without the both of u letting me know not after the did has been done. My Mom was angry that can't she have say in my home, I told her to an extent not to the point of countering my instructions. She was very angry we both had some argument on the phone before I told her am late for work I want to cut and she hang up, she knows I was seriously angry with her. Since that day she hasn't called me and I haven't called her too.

My wife called me and apologized that it won't happen again. I forgive her and we both made amend. Now my Mom is not talking to me and my wife at the moment. Please what I did was it wrong or did I over reacted?

I love and respect my Mom likewise my wife, but I won't want her to control my home for me. Should I call her and apologize to her or just let her be till her mind comes down?

Your mum seems like the domineering type

Tell your wife to fall in line or fall out

destiny4luv:


Truth be told, I am the only son of my Mother and the last born at that. Before I got married my Mom is my best best friend and I share every idea and secrets with her. But I think she is trying to bring that dominance as a Mother into my home, I am not against it, but they should be boundaries that's all. Thanks for ur advice. We all will make amends.

Mummys boy.

Your wife knows well and is doing everything Mummy says before they say she destroyed the bond between mother and son. Before your mum says her own too.

She kuku remove her head you two should be sorting your matter out.

If you think she's happy receiving instructions from your mother and not you then you are joking.

Wifey knows the hold your mum has over you and she has decided not to fight it but would rather go with the flow, she knows if she does try to resist that hold you and your mum will see her as the bad person.

You are seeing it small small, you don't need to complain o , just enjoy your mum leading your home. You are not even against her dominating your home @ bolded, you now want your wife to disobey her lailai.



When we keep on saying 3rd party interference in marriage is not good some just can't understand.

[Omo you don loose alot this days,the best thing is for you to call both women together and beg them,I mean your mom and your wife,and if not bicycle spoke is coming your and any of them wouldn't help u,for your wife and your mom to be good,means your wife understand your mom and your mom loves herquote author=destiny4luv post=120704882]Good day Nairalanders.l; let me go straight to the point. I work off-shore so most of the times I am not always around, some times I can be at work for three months and be given one or two weeks time- off that's just the nature of my job.

But they is something troubling me seriously, when I give my wife instructions regarding anything at all she will first of all ask my Mom before she carries out the instruction I give her, that's if my Mom is in support of the instruction. Recently I gave her an instruction regarding a particular matter while I was on time-off, only for my wife to call me fee weeks later that she has carried out the instruction when the time I told her to carry out that instruction is not yet. I was so mad at her I asked her why can't she wait till the time I told her to do it; she said my Mom came over to the house and told her to do it so she did it. At that point I cut the call.

Later that day my Mom called me and was asking why I cut the call on my wife and refused to pick her call even why she was calling back, I told her she was the course, and she said how, and I told her why will I give my wife instruction and u will come to counter that instruction without the both of u letting me know not after the did has been done. My Mom was angry that can't she have say in my home, I told her to an extent not to the point of countering my instructions. She was very angry we both had some argument on the phone before I told her am late for work I want to cut and she hang up, she knows I was seriously angry with her. Since that day she hasn't called me and I haven't called her too.

My wife called me and apologized that it won't happen again. I forgive her and we both made amend. Now my Mom is not talking to me and my wife at the moment. Please what I did was it wrong or did I over reacted?

I love and respect my Mom likewise my wife, but I won't want her to control my home for me. Should I call her and apologize to her or just let her be till her mind comes down?[/quote]

What’s wrong with that. You have a good wife

thesicilian:
You should be happy it's your mom and not her own.

But on a more serious note, from your own explanation it seems you're overreacting

ambale:


If he sure for am, make he just drop the woman contact make we help him advise her

Funny man they form hard man dere

When Dem begin nack your wife 2by2, your head go correct😂😂😂

I just Dey read comment that guy f**k up 🆙 big time...I do call this kind of people MUGU claiming hard guy.


Modified:The werey guy Dey work offshore and still want everything to be done perfectly...An ungrateful MUGU.it’s takes God intervention for two WOMAN to disagree and agree..

destiny4luv:
Good day Nairalanders.l; let me go straight to the point. I work off-shore so most of the times I am not always around, some times I can be at work for three months and be given one or two weeks time- off that's just the nature of my job.

But they is something troubling me seriously, when I give my wife instructions regarding anything at all she will first of all ask my Mom before she carries out the instruction I give her, that's if my Mom is in support of the instruction. Recently I gave her an instruction regarding a particular matter while I was on time-off, only for my wife to call me fee weeks later that she has carried out the instruction when the time I told her to carry out that instruction is not yet. I was so mad at her I asked her why can't she wait till the time I told her to do it; she said my Mom came over to the house and told her to do it so she did it. At that point I cut the call.

Later that day my Mom called me and was asking why I cut the call on my wife and refused to pick her call even why she was calling back, I told her she was the course, and she said how, and I told her why will I give my wife instruction and u will come to counter that instruction without the both of u letting me know not after the did has been done. My Mom was angry that can't she have say in my home, I told her to an extent not to the point of countering my instructions. She was very angry we both had some argument on the phone before I told her am late for work I want to cut and she hang up, she knows I was seriously angry with her. Since that day she hasn't called me and I haven't called her too.

My wife called me and apologized that it won't happen again. I forgive her and we both made amend. Now my Mom is not talking to me and my wife at the moment. Please what I did was it wrong or did I over reacted?

I love and respect my Mom likewise my wife, but I won't want her to control my home for me. Should I call her and apologize to her or just let her be till her mind comes down?

You should have a conversation with your mom.



If there is anything you should be grateful for, it is that WIFE of yours.



She is not the one at fault here. She is just a well-mannered woman.



Now, have a conversation with your mother. If she has been overriding your decisions too many times, it is about time you spoke to her about it.



No need to be disrespectful about it. She is your mother, and mothers are special.



Tell her that she is free to offer you advice, as well as call you if she feels there is a need for a change of a plan that you have made.



Your mother needs to understand that the way she treats you is the way your wife (who happens to be a good woman) would treat you.



If your mother treats you like a dependent child, your wife will treat you the same way, and will see your mother as the one in charge.




By making your mother realize her place in your life, you will be protecting your wife as well.



Because a mother who interferes when not invited will bully your wife.



I am sure she bullies your wife into telling her everything that goes on in your house.

BabaCommander:
I can see Jezebel's hand here.

Must you bring your senior sister into everything

NoToPile:


Mummys boy.

Your wife knows well and is doing everything Mummy says before they say she destroyed the bond between mother and son. Before your mum says her own too.

She kuku remove her head you two should be sorting your matter out.

If you think she's happy receiving instructions from your mother and not you then you are joking.

Wifey knows the hold your mum has over you and she has decided not to fight it but would rather go with the flow, she knows if she does try to resist that hold you and your mum will see her as the bad person.

You are seeing it small small, you don't need to complain o , just enjoy your mum leading your home. You are not even against her dominating your home @ bolded, you now want your wife to disobey her lailai.



When we keep on saying 3rd party interference in marriage is not good some just can't understand.

Whether third party or not...what you fail to know about OP is that there marriage is still fresh as in..him just get married to his wife.Both of them need a shades and his Mom is the best shade.


You’re not considerate in your judgment and take a look of this👎

Nb:Offshore for 3,4 months
He only complain of the time to execute the plan
What do think 💭 is the instructions than being a payment of bills or anything need to be done before or after lapses.her Mom play the logical thinking card but he just want to form hard guy base on what he see with his other colleagues giving instructions to there wife and been done ✅ the way being given to them.

destiny4luv:
Good day Nairalanders.l; let me go straight to the point. I work off-shore so most of the times I am not always around, some times I can be at work for three months and be given one or two weeks time- off that's just the nature of my job.

But they is something troubling me seriously, when I give my wife instructions regarding anything at all she will first of all ask my Mom before she carries out the instruction I give her, that's if my Mom is in support of the instruction. Recently I gave her an instruction regarding a particular matter while I was on time-off, only for my wife to call me fee weeks later that she has carried out the instruction when the time I told her to carry out that instruction is not yet. I was so mad at her I asked her why can't she wait till the time I told her to do it; she said my Mom came over to the house and told her to do it so she did it. At that point I cut the call.

Later that day my Mom called me and was asking why I cut the call on my wife and refused to pick her call even why she was calling back, I told her she was the course, and she said how, and I told her why will I give my wife instruction and u will come to counter that instruction without the both of u letting me know not after the did has been done. My Mom was angry that can't she have say in my home, I told her to an extent not to the point of countering my instructions. She was very angry we both had some argument on the phone before I told her am late for work I want to cut and she hang up, she knows I was seriously angry with her. Since that day she hasn't called me and I haven't called her too.

My wife called me and apologized that it won't happen again. I forgive her and we both made amend. Now my Mom is not talking to me and my wife at the moment. Please what I did was it wrong or did I over reacted?

I love and respect my Mom likewise my wife, but I won't want her to control my home for me. Should I call her and apologize to her or just let her be till her mind comes down?

Me and you know that the instructions being given to her...might be before or after the lapses of a bill or something else so why are you bring something out of nothing...Those your colleagues Dey make you form hard guy

Nb:what work for A might not work for B so things is working in your way but still ungrateful...abeg make I no talk ooo just laid down flat and beg your MOM because Na your sun 🌞 shade like this.

My opinion. It's very wrong to bring in your family matters or should I say sharing it with parents, cousins or relatives. You only ask for advice if hubby is no more. Me I blame his wife. As for his mom she don't have rights over her son's home except called upon by her son and not the son's wife. She given ahead instructions without her son directives mean she no respect her son. Wife too follow. Left for mi just let your mom be for a while, she will come around. You can only reach out to her base on say u wan hear her voice and know how she is doing... Other than that no... Your own family matters most before your parents or relatives... My opinion

When you're successful, mom take control of your marriage and your wife. They become a threat to your wife because they feel, she didn't deserve what they have invested in and they will take control of the yield.

She will show you and your wife alot of emotional abuse and turn the other children against your family, if she doesn't have her way. And every effort you have made to help other children, they will all feel entitled and see it as nothing, and become disrespectful like her.

This was my experience too, and you cannot please them until they die...infact, I work oil and gas too in Nigeria got feed up and relocated aboard, she came visit and the hassament and bully continued, even after returning to Nigeria. Your wife is her tools, and the poor girl trying to create peace but she and the other children wants war and threat to her marriage.