Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

Are you a male or a female ?

Before I talk identify yourself gender.

Ok

Isabi4lov:
Are you a male or a female ?

I’m a female

samwash:
Before I talk identify yourself gender.

I’m a female pls

sync:


I’m a female

Okay .

OP what you have there is a Nigeriannus Leecherous commonly known as the Nigerian Woman. They are known to suck the life of their host dry and leave them for dead before moving onto their next prey.

Unfortunately for you, they have no known remedy.

sync:

I’m a female pls

U sound like a nice person that dont like hurting pple's feelings....u better talk....pple are very wicked and dont care about ur niceness.....

U are not fvcking each other...so why are u allowing a fully parasitic relationship.....

Just spell it out for her....If u demand for contribution, inconsiderate pple like her will feel u want to exploit her cos she came to live with you..

Besides bear in mind that if she isnt in ur house u would have sorted ur challenge on ur own...so dont bother to ask her anything

Babe..come... i am sorry u have to come and be going......My brother/boyfriend/sister/ just got a job close by wants to move in with me....three of us cant be here....i am so sorry....

If you are like me....i am always on vawulence mode...
..oga ade... u said u will be here for two months.. i have helped u for 5 months...u cant call me wicked at this point....u have to leave in the next one week...

Tell ur friend that ur church is starting a 40 days fasting, when u r hungry just excuse urself n eat outside. When is six o'clock time to break fast, do small tea or small Akamu and lock up. If she complained y u r not cooking, tell her u dnt like eating heavy meals during fasting...... Do this n thank me later... U will c how she will find her square root.

But u sef, u no get job n u r still accommodating smne, this ur story get k-leg

The reality is that to u she's ur frnd but to her u're just a means to an end. Some of u love pleasing others nd displeasing urselves in the process nd i call that stupid hypocricy. Someone is using u nd u're there forming frndshp. If u don't pursue that leach out of ur place even God will not forgive u

Tell her that your mum and brother are coming to spend one week with you that she should look for where to stay until they leave then after one week tell her they said they aren't going back again, she will know it's a lie but it will still make her leave your house

sync:

I’m a female pls

Girl friend, listen to me. Send that leech out of your house fast.

Tell her that your man is joining you there by next and wouldn't like to meet her there. If its a face me I face you, she should go get it.

She knows what she's doing but she won't stop if you don't point it out and ask her to leave.

She is not a friend but a leech, based on what you have written. She knows you are out of job but still comfortable not contributing to the expenses of the house while she saves.

You know very well that if you were served quit notice, she would pack her things and move, would not be bothered how you sort yourself out.

You have to be assertive and have that discussion, no matter how hard you think it is going to be. Lay the reality on the table, you are both adults as you can't continue to subsidize her at your own detriment as you have done what some can not do for their siblings.

A woman's inhumanity to her fellow woman....

Like seriously,it's this kind of situations that have made me to stop thinking of how to help people.. Because once they noticed you're weak or too nice, they'll begin to take full advantage of your weakness and kindness....

Op, better confront her and tell her your mind......No go pass yourself

Richy4:
Step by Step on how to disarm a freeloader. (Accomodation)
<<Bring out your phone......
<<Go on property site and make sure u got a cheap house for rent...
<<Call her out of the blues for her to come and see what you have found..
<<Show her the cheap accommodation and encourage her to call them...
<< Volunteer to accompany her to look at the place.....

From there, you will hear her line of argument, excuse or substories...
Do not give her room to feel that you don't want her there... Be nice and sweet but deliberate in what you are saying..(remember not to burn the bridge though, because u might need it someday).

The bolded is so true

I once accommodated a new colleague, that was in 2017, after a month or so he got an accommodation and moved out. Do you know that today when ever I go to the city for some stuffs, because I have since relocated, I spend the night at his place.

sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

What is important in the relationship that you want to savage?

Is it the relationship she does not value?

If she values the relationship, she will not be this wicked and insensitive toward you.

Just make up your mind and tell her to find her way out of your place.

You don't need to be polite.
Simply tell her it's time to leave.

For people like that, the longer they're allowed to stay, the more they feel entitled, and take advantage of one's generosity.
You don't need "a friend" like that.

sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

just tell her u are a lesbo and u want her to suck ur pusssy.

sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

She is a user and not your friend. Don't make the assumptions that she is a friend.

Remind her she had asked to stay for only 2 months, and ask her what her plans are about moving out.

Show her that you have been an accommodating friend, housing her for the past 6 months.

Tell her for your mental health you will like to have your space and then tell her she has only 1 month to find her own place.

Tell her your bf is looking at coming to stay with you for a contract job in Abuja for the month of April and ask her how far with her accommodation search. You really would love to have the privacy.

Also, stop stocking the house with food. Silly leeches like her are crazy to reason with. Hian!

sisisioge:
Tell her your bf is looking at coming to stay with you for a contract job in Abuja for the month of April and ask her how far with her accommodation search. You really would love to have the privacy.

Also, stop stocking the house with food. Silly leeches like her are crazy to reason with. Hian!

Thanks on your advice on the food part. Unfortunately I do not have a boyfriend at the moment n she knows that

sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

She believes you are from a rich background and does not need her input to get the house running. I’m sure she knows your elder sister sends you money and she believes she doesn’t need to contribute anything. I won’t even be surprised if she even call the sis to thank her or even make requests jokingly. Whatever it is, it’s all shades of wrong. Sit her down and talk to her. Tell her nicely and friendly that she asked for two months and she’s on the fifth month now. What’s her plan?

Then proceed to tell her that you didn’t disturb her or ask her for any contribution because you wanted her to save enough to rent her own place. Then tell her you believe she’s ready now to get her own place by next month. Then tell her start to searching for the house and in the meantime, you’ll advise her to start buying stuffs she’ll need to stock the house. Then, you start suggesting house appliances. Afterwards, await her response. If she says, she hasn’t saved enough, then she’s a sly person. Tell her she should borrow from friends and family cos you are expecting your mum or any imaginary person.

By the way, lower your expectations o. Cos this life, people, especially entitled people or parasitic people, when they lose their ‘source’, they usually forget all the goods ever done to them and then proceed to spoil the person’s reputation in the worst way. So, strengthen your heart and expect the worst

sync:

Thanks on your advice on the food part. Unfortunately I do not have a boyfriend at the moment n she knows that

Your mom and sister nko?

sisisioge:
Tell her your bf is looking at coming to stay with you for a contract job in Abuja for the month of April and ask her how far with her accommodation search. You really would love to have the privacy.

Also, stop stocking the house with food. Silly leeches like her are crazy to reason with. Hian!

This one na real kolo

sync:


What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

You have 2 options, one is more effective.

1. Come home one day suddenly & break a bottle of Fanta on the ground and threaten her that if she doesn't move in 2 days, you will beat the shit out of her. Ofcourse you will lose the friendship, but this is a super way to chase her away, you don't need leeches anyway.

2. Go & rent a fake Boyfriend, that would come into your house with his bags. Then speak to your friend that she needs to leave because you can't be having intimacy when she is still around. Let her pack immediately.

Awwww you are so nice and she's taking advantage of your niceness. This can neveeerrr be me. Tell her to look for a place and move. She can get a house within 1 week. Beware, she is not a friend.

I got no atom of pity for you op,
When she is done, you will know what to do

sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

If Everything You Posted Above is True, then their is no need to be diplomatic or tactical about your approach. Just call her sit her down, remind her of the agreement which you believe you have been more than generous with her.
Just tell her it’s time for her to move out, and be expecting her counter reaction.
-She might ask for more time,
-she might give you some flimsy excuses why she can’t move (Emotional Blackmailing inclusive)
-she might give you eviction notice,
- she might move out peacefully.
So be ready for her too.